Something I came up with just now. I hope it's good,it's about someone that was very special to me that I lost. <3 Nevermind that darling, you left me here. Standing,head cleared without a fear. Wanting to speak,but wanting to hear. Longing for that single tear. Seeing with my eyes open. Another day,another night. Knowing what might be wrong,but not what is right. Seeing you fade into light, another story;that is so bright. Seeing with my eyes open. Laughing,and almost crying. I knew you weren't trying. You were yourself,you weren't lying. I couldn't imagine you,dying. Seeing with my eyes open. Leaving me,is this my destiny? To want to be, To want to see? I can't agree, But,I can see. You went away, I'm here to stay. You can't betray, just went your own way. Not by your control. Oh,I know,I'd sell my soul...To see you... Be with me,stay with me...Hearing me...Talk with me... Become old with me...Die with me,but not by yourself...Because I love you <3
;~; I love this, halezy. All of it. It's just brilliant. Epecially if you use inference on some parts, you really see an inner message in it.
it makes a man want to have babies awesome dustatic job i dont know much 'bout poetry but i thought it was nice
I liked it, it seemed more like a song more then anything. It's pretty good in the rhyming range, but some of the grammar is kinda off. It's good though. I like it.
It's sweet. Please put spaces after commas, that stuff drives me insane D: Your basic rhyming gets a bit boring after a while- you should alternate so that it's not always last word from each line corresponding with the line below and so on. For some reason I read the middle part as a rap :v
Thank you Emzy. I actually really tried to broaden the message in it,without making it up in your face. Haha,thanks Sam. Thank you,I'll keep that in mind. Ugh, okay. I have been bugged to do this once before, I will. Alright. I usually don't rhyme, so I actually thought basic rhyming would be good for one poem. Like Leaves Fallen for you, fallen with you. I fall for you like a leaf; graceful, yet dying. Dying for a lost love, dying to be connected to the tree. The tree is your heart, all disconnected and confused. Without it's leaves it also dies, with the winter breeze; that cools the soul. Don't you see? We need each other. Without you I cannot survive, but you can't survive without me. That's why I'm like a leaf and you're like a tree. Don't die without me, but live holding onto me. Connected through the seasons, forever in harmony. There is nothing that can stop us as a team. Seperated we fall to the ground, standing in one place. Idle and immobile, waiting for each other; to find our place. We should always be connected, without you I'll die. That's why I'm like a leaf and you're like a tree. So you'll never see me cry.
;~; Why do all your poems strum my heart strings? The leaf poem is excellent, a good use of similies and metephors. Keep on truckin' luvvie, I wish to see more <3
Pretty good poems, I really think their meaning is laid out there, which is fine, since not all poetry should be uber-deep. Overall I think you're doing fine and in time you'll improve a lot.
D: I never knew Haley was a poet, lol. T’aww I love these x3. They’re amazing. I realize the messages you’ve established, and I like them. Like Leaves is my favourite. I like the poetry techniques you've used in all the poems. Because I'm selfish I want to hear more from you >:3
Thanks,I'll write more for ya darlin' :3 I know that they aren't uber-deep because that was done on purpose. I wanted people to know what I meant and how I felt about it. Thanks and I hope so <3 Thanks <3 Well,it wasn't intended to be a ballad.Although you may think of it as one xD Aha : D Thanks,love c: I'll write more now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When you're a kid The darkness takes over the earth, light fleeing from it's holder. The night takes over,making everything joyful go away. Blackness surrounds you,as you stay still. It swallows you entirely,so you cannot breathe. The shadows creeping up the walls. Shivering,you slip away to escape the pain. To escape the rain,beating down on your window,in the dead of the night. Scared and confused you try to run,but you slip and fall. Your eyes are useless now,just a tool you can put away. Your hands all sweaty,trying to find a switch to make the world full of light. Fail to find it and you let out a scream. Hiding under a cover,so nobody can find you. It feels a bit safer under here. But when you realize it's not,you leap from your hiding place. Looking at your surroundings,because your eyes have adjusted to the dark. You look only to see yourself standing in the middle of your room, with the lights off,no monsters and no shadows. Only you. You turn on the switch and hardly anything changed,although it's a big difference to you. Then you crawl into your hiding place,and fall asleep. Like all kids do.
The thing is, this poem is true. I think I've been through that routine a million times throughout my childhood, and it never gets old or less frightening. Brilliant again, halezykins, <3
i duno alot about poetry but that must of been really good, welldone, lol it almost ,made me cry =')
