Part 4! There's a hell of alot of dialogue here. It's just a way to set events straight k? And It's not as suspensful as the others.(Yea "Suspensful" xD) ----------------------- Chapter 4: The “No Heart”. Finally morning, Mickey told everyone to meet him in the dinning room. They all took a seat but the king was nowhere to be found. “….So how are you Aqua?” Ven saud. Aqua was day dreaming about something. She stayed quiet. “Helloooo, Aqua?” She woke up from he daily snooze. “Hmmm, oh hey Ven” *Hey* wasn’t the answer Ven was looking for. “What’s on your mind?” “Probably nothing as always” Kuro said while rolling his eyes. “Says the man who never has anything to say!” Aqua commented. “Guys…?” Ven said quietly. “Oh please! At least I don’t disappear every now and again” Kuro yelled. “Yea, I always stay locked up in my house” She said sarcastically “GUYS!!” Ven shouted. Mickey came in the room. “Am I…interrupting something?” He asked. “No.” Aqua said while sighing. “So why did you call us in the first place?” She then asked. “Oh yes” A sudden serious look came to his face. “Kuro, Aqua, do you remember that creature you saw in the town square? As you saw it was a creature of pure darkness. A being that lacks a heart. It’s called…” “Heartless” Both Kuro and Aqua interrupted. They look at each other with an untruthful look. “Yes” For some reason Mickey was not surprised to hear them say that. He then continued “And heartless as we call them were once people. People who became heartless themselves while overwhelmed with darkness and hatred. Or…a people that were turned into a heartless by another one” Ven gulped. “Three elements combine to create life; A heart, a soul and a Body. But have you ever thought, what if an even stronger Heartless was giving the orders? If he cast aside his own soul and body and became a Heartless, wouldn’t he be able to control the other ones?” He said “Wouldn’t he be planning to make us of the creatures’ instincts? If the heart-seeking creatures have their sight on something larger. Their ultimate goal is clear.” “What are you saying?” Asked Aqua. “The largest heart in existence” He continued “The heart of the worlds. Kingdom Hearts!” A deep dark voice came echoing through the room. “Hahaha, very good my king” A dark man appeared in the center of the dining table. A bald man, though his baldness didn’t make him any less threatening with his pointy ears, beard and red piercing eyes. The clothe he was wearing were out of the ordinary: A black trench coat that could flow with the wind, with a white shirt underneath it. He also had black boots. Guess we now know his favorite color. “Xehanort! What are you doing here?!” Mickey yelled. “Xeha….nort…” Thought Aqua. A wicked laugh came out of this Xehanort. He then said “You should know best. After all, it’s you who’s sending these lost souls to their dooms” The king jumped on the table, lifted up his arm and summoned his keyblade. He then attempted to attack Xehanort but he just went through him. “Save your strength for later. This is just an Illusion. There’s no use of me chatting with you here. You know where we have to meet. Till then ”He had one last laugh before disappearing. “What was he talking about Mickey?” Asked Ven while getting up. “Ugh, I can believe he just came to annoy me…” He said. Then continued “ I was going to get to what he said later…That man is Xehanort. He controls the entity of Darkness itself. Therefore he controls the heartless, for he is a heartless. I fought him many times before. Heartless, even in their human form are as cruel as the can be” Kuro felt a bit of anger towards Mickey after what he said. “Keyblade wielders nowadays are low in number…There are many reasons for this. People hearts are not as they used to. Not pure. And then there’s Xehanort…. You 3 are the only keyblade wielders left besides me. Will you lend your heart, your soul, and your courage to fight this menace?” All 3 of them looked at each other and nodded. Then Ven said “Right!We’ll take care of old baldy” “Good!” Yelled Mickey “We leave in an hour” “That late?” Said Ven while laughing. The 3 of them got up. Kuro as always was the last one leaving the room( But before the King). Mickey stared piercingly as he was leaving. “What?” he turned around and looked at Mickey. Mickey put his attention elsewhere before Kuro could turn around. He then just left the room... After a while, Kuro got a chance to talk to Aqua. “What do you want?” She asked while putting her hands on her hips. “Look…I just came to say sorry…About before” He said “Aw, well…this isn’t really the time to talk about this. We’ll talk after the battle okay?” “Hah, sure” He replied. He then said while leaving the room “By the way, how did you know they were called heartless”. “Oh, well…it was kinda obvious they were called like that right?” “Heh, yea. Well Ciao” He waved his hand and left. -----------Earlier that day, in the crack of dawn---------- We find ourselves in Aqua’s room, when she was sleeping. A knock on the window was heard. “Wha…?” Aqua woke up. She grabbed her robe and wore it. She then headed for the window and opened it. “You?!” She yelled. It was the hooded man from before, floating in the air. “Now now, you don’t want to wake your friends.” He said. “What do you want?” She asked. “Just came to warn you about something” The man told her about future events. About the heartless. And that Kuro was going to have a change of heart. He also told her about Xehanort and his plans. “Why are you telling me this?” She said. “Like I said before, it’s a way to redeem myself" ------------------------ Not as cliffhaner-ish as the others, but still... So what do you think?(Again,comment truthfully)
I suck at reviewing. :S. But the story is getting more and more intersting by the chapter. Even though not much happened here, like you said this is a way to set events straight. So where are the other lazy reviewers?:D
I'm here. Lazy reviewer come back from the dead. xP Sorry about that. I actually have to go to school tomarrow, so now I'm trying to finish up some paintings and all that jazz. Ew. Anywho. Wow. this is getting even MORE intresting. Why do I get the idea of betrayal and "crossing into the darkside" by someone. Watch it be Auqa because I have a soft spot for her. xD And dang it, Xehanort why'd you have to show up. :[ I was still holding Kuro out to be Xehanort but not KNOW he was Xehanort. Oh well. I really need to quit trying that whole future reading thing. I'm no good at it. Ok, Constructive Crit time. You've gotten alot better at Discriptions as far as the image, but now it's time to work on word order otherwise known as Syntax. (Man, AP English has ruined my life. :p ) Sometimes your discriptions seem a little listy such as (exageration) "She was tall, thin, had bright eye, and a Balloon ." So try to rearange your sentances so they flow better. "The bright eyed woman towered over the rest of the crowd so that her Balloon seemed to touch the sky." Pretty, ne? mmkay. I really can't wait till the next Chapter. Cause dangit... Xehanort. You ruin everything. ::pout::
Bah, already finished writting the whole story. I'm not gonna post it alllll at once tho. And I would have posted chapter 5 already if I wasn't so damn busy everyday.
This is a lot better. maybe you should try doing extreme dialogue more often? You're much better at this than the detailing stuff. You obviously have some great goals in mind for this story. I'm very, very curious as of right now.......
