Rules

If you and I can keep this very mature and calm, then I will participate. Just remember Misty, you quoted me.

If you want a case of cyberbullying here, there was a time on this very forum I thought I DID hit someone's exact wrong button. They ran to CTR saying I was forever too harsh and it led to a giant fight between her and I. Dead serious. Turns out? They just wanted me banned because they felt I was a jerk in general.

The point there is, a lot of people complain sheerly out of anger. They get a feeling of satisfaction when they see consequence brought to those that wronged them. During my period as a staffer, I can assure you Misty, I saw a lot of this. This is why I say it's gotta be a judgement call. You have to see the intentions behind the complaint. You can't just go overboard harshness because someone is complaining. Rather, if you do, you end up being that school teacher that always punished the one kid over and over because the kid who ran to the teacher first can never be wrong.

I don't think KHV will ever come to that sort of place. I've seen a lot of people here stop their jokes to have an intelligent and simply respectful sit down with people in need. Who ever posted that ghastly threesome thread the other day learned of this. We can be respectful, we're aware of our actions, and we know how to fix them when they do.

Misty, as someone who's been trying to be your friend these passed two weeks, I hope you take this as a different perspective and not "SJ being old SJ."

 

Really? My apologies, I could have sworn I unlocked it? Let me go repair that.

 

What I have been trying to get across is we don't control how everyone perceives our jokes and comical banter. Sure, we have gone at members before, but you guys act like we gather on MSN and decide who to attack for the week. Most of the time when one member gets a bit picky with another and then everyone else chimes in its because the member who decided to speak up is really only saying what the rest of us feel, so we're going to cosign what they say. Some members really just take our fun the wrong way, we don't control that. Honestly, we don't try to "hurt" the ones that can't "take the joke", we simply try to hammer home the point that it IS a joke and should be taken as such.

 

http://www.kh-vids.net/showthread.p...-actually-intends-to-read-the-new-rules/page4

Here ya go, What?

 

Most of us aren't, though. Why do you think that is the case? Name names, maybe?

Somehow I think that if I posted a poll asking "Do you want KH-Vids to be censored so that no criticism is allowed", the "no"s would win out.

See how the play on words helps? Be more honest in your poll and we can talk.

"Do you want KH-Vids to discourage bullying and help both the bullies and the bullied grow while using as little force as possible" is a much better poll. You game?

 

I vouch for this.

 

My absence from the thread for some time was to cool off, in which many other staff members replied. I know my limit.

But can we also afford to ignore these complaints? I said in my post that working from a complaint basis will not work, and I agree with you--some complaints are lodged unfairly, by people who are misguided by anger or ulterior motives.

And I've seen it as well. The staff has seen it. That's why we haven't been handing out bans left and right, why we didn't intend to do that with our new rules. We have faith that we can find a balance between preserving jokes and remembering to think of others. But it is going to require effort from everyone on the site.

 

Okay, I understand this. But even in this we have seen varying qualities in the ways that people joke - amongst yourselves specifically as well, if you would like an example. Many times your humour is perfectly acceptable but there are also times where things can get a bit overboard, again. The fact that all of you can still conduct jokes you feel comfortable with that also do not seem to be too extremely degrading or offensive, in your own discretion, is certainly proof that even in the humour you yourselves are comfortable with you can still be both funny and not outright insulting at the same time, no? If you feel you may not be able to differentiate for certain which parts of your humour may be too insulting or degrading then certainly you can look at the numerous examples of rule-defying behaviour (which will be there soon after everyone gets a good night's rest hopefully) to serve as at least a general guideline. There will always be exceptional cases, yes, but the general guidelines for not straying too far into the insult pool can thus be something you yourselves may understand through this.

Also I apologize if someone replied to me and I missed their reply, it would be quite nice if they may inform me of this if they wish?

 

Good, good. Then I can participate. I messaged you early I was only going to mediate and such because, well, quite frankly, it'd give off the wrong impression of me.

I never think you guys should ignore those complaints. Ever. By the lord, if you do, I'll slap you myself. But handle a personal matter with a personal touch. You can't make it so one side only wins, running a community isn't that easy. And from what I've seen, what Envy, Jube, and Makaze (the vocalists of this forum, nice to see I have legacies) aren't asking for a whole lot. They're just asking to be able to post what they know is within reason and just jesting. Not letting them jest with other members means they won't have fun, as opposed to what you said, where you said you wanted everyone to have fun. But limiting one sides fun so the other side can have more fun isn't the way to accomplish that goal. Especially when it upsets your vets who've last so long around here because they know how it goes. If they joke around with a member maybe in a bit of a snarky matter, that should be fine. It's where someone goes 'Dude, you're a f*cking idiot' that you guys need to act without analysis before that turns into continued harassment. Believe it or not, we don't want people like that around here either.

The thing is, the balance is just telling the older members to either stop joking or leave. That's how they perceive it anyway. I do see what you're trying to do, and it's in good spirit, I just don't think in practice it will work too well unless you guys adopt an "our way or not at all" policy.

Also, to mention an earlier thread: In Nate_River's Steam giveaway thread today, the thread was warned and almost locked because we were told to keep it "PG-13." We were discussing the difference between exterior and inner beauty and how some people are just shallow and judgemental. (500) Days of Summer is a PG-13 movie. In that movie, they tastefully show shower sex and the main characters watching a porno.

If I make you upset or you need to go cool off, please let me know. I will back off and you can message me when you want to continue. I'm not here to push you. I'm just here because my friends (and probably later me if I get to stay) feel like the victims of an injustice.

 

You are right. You cannot control how a person receives your comment. However when it does happen that a person feels uncomfortable and miserable over your 'jokes' then maybe you should consider "hey, this person is not feeling good about me making fun of them. So let me just do something else." it's not a novel idea. You can still have your Spamzone fun. Just not at the expense of someone who clearly does not appreciate it. The Spamzone rules make this very clear cut. It's give and take.

"Well they can get out!" Why? The Spamzone is basically the only place where off-topic or things otherwise not categorized can go. It's not just for snark.

The Spamzone rules are peculiar like that. You can have fun with people but only with their consent. Anything else beyond that shouldn't really happen. It's not an outrageous demand. It just means that the people who want to have peaceful time actually get it. And those who want more rough fun also get it.

 

I understand that you don't want us to outright insult people, but I must point out that as of late many of the members causing a ruckus and putting on a big exit scene in the spamzone do it because they can't take a few comments intended to be constructive criticism and excessive use of images similar this:



and this:



Some of their claims of harassment may be a bit warranted, but there are an equal amount of people who just get butthurt and take things the wrong way.

 

Just wish to clarify! Apologies if it seemed like a lock threat. It was more a quiet reminder to keep things in a careful direction if I recall correctly.

Also, there are wishes of thanks for the thread staying relatively civil.

 

The weird thing is with this forum, when we disagree, we generally don't resort to insults or bullying. We resort to actual discussion like we did there. You gotta have a lot more faith in us. We can maturely talk about sex and beauty and whatevs. Most people here are teenagers just discovering this stuff. It's best they discover it from our actual perspectives than trying it themselves because parents of today suck at having 'the talk.'

 

This is understandable and I do acknowledge (and admire) the efforts that I have seen made at constructive criticism. In these cases, we ask that when and after such overreactions happen, responses that we all may know the members in question may consider antagonistic are preferably not made? At this point, after the member's reaction, it would be known what sort of comments and humour specifically would have the ability to antagonize the member. Instead of becoming defensive in regards to them freaking out (which is not always the case I am saying by the way) and turning the thread into an unsavoury argument from time to time (which is decreasing slightly, a good thing), it would be better to, perhaps, reply more positively or not to reply? You have accidentally hurt a person. It would be better to simply try making things up with that person than becoming defensive if you can. That way the person will understand not only the fact that you actually were kidding, but also the quality of the humour you all have so they may look out for it in the future, and this mature attitude would show that you are willing to respect their emotions and feelings as a person, which in turn shows you all as the mature people you all actually are regardless of the jokes that may colour their perceptions, as we have seen from this very thread. People must be reasonable in such a case.

 

You act as if we go out of our way to make these members feel bad, just climbing in their windows and fucking their feelings up and shit. Half the time the jokes will get started in a thread that said member posted after it veers from the original topic and they'll get upset and say "this is my thread get out stop it guys waaah" and then things start to shift towards poking a little fun at them.

The Spamzone is for everything off topic, so snark can go there too. If people get involved in it frequently but then can't take it, then stay away from threads where its going on. We don't want them to get out, but they should fall back if they can't take it. We WANT them to join in and be able to take it, though.

Like I said, we don't go in every peaceful thread and start rough housing, but it's like a mosh-pit. We're not all to concerned about who may get involved. If their feelings get hurt they should have just stayed away. The people who get hurt by our antics are the ones who should have just left the thread and stopped feeding our fire.

 

Ah, indeed. To be honest even I was quite interested in the discussion and appreciated how maturely things went along, though even the line of PG-13 is a slippery one, since using such a dead-set rating can give complications as to the content, like in the 500 Days of Summer example you stated earlier. At times things can be tricky to judge. Apologies if you saw it as a lack of faith there, I can understand why.

 

I see where you're coming from and do agree that when a member over reacts we should change our reaction to that a bit, but still this is ingrained in some of us. Lately I from what I've seen things HAVE actually been getting better with certain members...or at least that's my opinion. The newer members are starting to see that we just want to help them improve and the older ones are being a bit more lax and not coming off as harshly...at least this is how I see things.

 

And I agree; progress has been made. But to avoid tensions escalating, we felt it necessary to spell out some previously unspoken policies. We did not intend to post the new rules with guns blazing, and I apologize if that was how they came off. We're willing to treat people with understanding and lightness if they, as Ashwin have said, perhaps be a little more careful about who they are directing their humor towards, as it is not suited to everyone.

 

No
It has nothing to do with "clinging to the past" it's not like we're evolving to a better forum or anything, you're actively taking away something that we find enjoyable and no it's not bullying.
The way we act, we realize that it may be offensive to some other people BUT THAT'S THE WAY WE ACT!
We're not asking for people to accept that, and we're not even asking for people to partake in it but this has been the way we've acted for YEARS it's our HOME it's where we find comfort in eachother. I could understand if it hadn't been like this since ever but it's always been like this, why are these sudden new envisions of a more "family friendly" kh-vids taking priority over how we have fun?
And these claims of bullying are insane, there are people who are overreacting to things and you guys are forseeing the worst case scenario, WHY ARE WE PUNISHED FOR AN EVENT THAT MIGHT NOT EVEN HAPPEN!?




And I recognize that there's a line, there always has been.
But why is that the line is getting changed more often these days?
The people who truly hate this place will leave and the people who like this place will stay, that's how it is for EVERY website EVER.

 

So, can a compromise be met? You tell us when someone's pissed and we'll agree to lay off and apologize if you look into it and we're being ******s?