right now...

A person I know is 12 and is now going out with a 17 year old.
in my opinion it is absolutely sick...whats your opinion?

 

Oh, for fuck's sake.
Before any of you wonder, I AM the 12 year old going out with a 17 year old. He's been going on at me all day about this, so yeah, this has pissed me off slightly more.​

 

I don't think it's wrong. As long as both sides of the relationship are mature about it and they go at a steady pace. If you think that is wrong then obviously my mum and step-dad must be wrong as well because there's a 12 year difference between their ages.

 

Please don't make threads regarding personal arguments between members on the site :/

To me, I think age is irrelevent. If two people like each other, they like each other.


As long as it doesnt extend to pedophilia...>>

 

He's been my best friend for a very long time, and I trust him a lot, so I'm hoping it won't turn into pedophilia. >.>

My friend's parents there's a 23 year difference between them.​

 

In my opinon that's just pointless. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

The question whether they should isn't all that relevant. It's whether they can keep up a relationship with that kind of age difference that really matters.
I'll try not to fall back to generalisations but I'd think that 12 year olds and 17 year olds have other hobbies, other interests and a different way of filling their social life.
This gap will only widen once the 17 year old comes of age and leaves high school to get a job or go to college.

Relationships like that, on that age and with that age difference, are usually quite short-lived and I don't see why this should be any different. They can be lovey-dovey as much as they like but I hope they're not eluding themselves by thinking it will be everlasting.

 

I can certainly agree with Styx, that relationships don't appear to last long with wide age gaps. Relationships with wide gaps do seem to work out better when they are older people, though. I notice that people who have married and stay married with wide gaps between their ages tend to get together in their 20's-40's, rather than when they are teens. But, whether the relationship works out or not, and whether they want a relationship with that age gap is completely up to the two of them. I personally see no problem with a 5 year gap, since my parents have an 8 year gap, and they're still married. Then again, they got together when they were older.

 

Urgh.

Does it really concern you?
It's your friend,let her do what she wants.

 

It's what Styx said.
I'm personally against, not because of the age difference, but the age range.
If they were older, 4 or 5 years wouldn't really matter. I'm 17 and I wouldn't date below 15. But to each their own. If it works, it works.

 

I would only be concerned if
A) it became pedophilia (IE if the older one does anything sexual with the younger one, especially after turning 18), or
B) if it were actually going to last. No offense, but relationships at 12 (or even at 17) don't tend to last more than a year at most. Usually a lot less.

 

in my opinion its perfectly fine
and if she trusts him theres no problem

 

^^This & only this. If they can keep the relationship together long enough is the only thing that matters. Think of your parents, friends' parents, aunties & uncles; how big is the age gap between them? If they've lasted this long, then they really love each other. But like Styx said, things change and it sometimes doesn't always last as long as they think it might. I don't really mind the realtionship at all.

 

let her date who she wants its her life



my dad is 66 and my step-mother is 19 so yeah big age difference
not shitting you either ask My brother Ruon.

 

its quite common actualy i know someone that goes to my church thats married to someone 13 years younger

 

shes 21 idiot

 

It's her decision on whether or not she wants to so I'd just leave it at that.

 

I am not objecting to it unless (as a few members have stated here before) it results in pedophilia, which I really do doubt. If this relationship does miraculously work then I'm sure both would have enough morals to know to have intercourse at the required age for both of them.

Besides that I also agree with Styx. The only way a proper relationship with an age gap of this size would work was if they were - in a way - adults.

 

I don't have anything against, really. But I went out with guy who was 4 years older than me. And that didn't work at all. One reason it didn't work was because he could do more things than I could. He could drive and drink. (He was also in another country, he wasn't 21).

And he was getting into that: "I wanna be with you forever." stage in the relationship. And I was getting a little uncomfortable. On New Years a few years ago, he proposed to me and I freaked out. In a: "wtf" kind of way, because I wasn't ready.

But we stayed together.

Another reason it didn't work was because he WAS older. And he kept trying to force me to "grow up" though he was quite immature himself. And whenever I asked a question or didn't understand something, he'd treat me like a 7 year old. It was annoying. And also since he was older, there was always that feeling that I wasn't good enough. Or that he should be with someone his own age.

And then it didn't work because of the wonderful parents. <3 If you get too involved, you're going to want to see each other and I doubt your parents would like that very much. Mine didn't. I didn't tell them, they found out about him. And that was just...awful. And they didn't want me to be with him.

So of course, I tried to obey my parents. And my bf was really pissed. Like: "if you loved me, you would've tried to come see me and you would've fought for me and blah blah blah blah."


But my bf was an *******. Anyone else's may be and is hopefully different. :/ It's more of a personal thing. If someone is mature enough for that kind of relationship, alright. But still, it's hard.​

 

Not as big a deal as everyone thinks. The only way I could see an age difference causing problems is if it were during a different period of ages, like 7 and 12 or something weird like that. My parents have 14 years between them, and its never caused a problem.