Yeah so...there's a whole complicated background for this that probably deserves ten more threads. Simply put, I've been toying with the idea of something for years now and decided to make a story out of it. First actual story of mine so don't expect me to be up to par. I haven't finished the first chapter; I have it halfway done, but I can't just sit down and finish it. So here's the prologue for now. If I get some good feedback, I'll continue. See if I can get you interested and get any major grammar problems out of the way. So since spoilers seem to be the norm, here we go. EDIT: I'm copying and pasting from Microsoft Word so the format is off. It also sucks that I can't indent on here. Oh well. DOUBLE EDIT: Font size on word was 12. So I put it as 2 here but it seems too big. Changed it to 1 and it seems small. I put it back as 2, but I can't figure out how to get it to the default size. Ah oh well. *PROLOGUE* Spoiler “Ugh,” was the only sound Wyatt could make after the vile liquid poured from his mouth into the toilet bowl. He reached up for the handle to flush before a sudden gag caused him to vomit again. Feeling too exhausted to even flush afterwards, he let his body slump to the floor, ignoring the smell that almost made him vomit again. As the nasty odor filled the bathroom, he just lay there, silently cursing his luck and holding his stomach. After several minutes of self-wallowing, he started to stand, using the bathtub as support to push himself up. He managed to successfully get on his feet, albeit with weak knees, and flush the toilet before walking to the sink. Grabbing the edges to keep him up, he looked at the mirror and chuckled at the mess he was. His dark brown hair was in desperate need of a brush, and his bone dry, blood-shot eyes in need of drops. His normally slightly tanned skin was paler than he’s ever seen it. He turned on the faucet and rinsed his face in cold water. He didn’t bother to turn the faucet off as he walked out, grabbing the hand towel by the door. He was too exhausted to even close the door as he left. He hadn’t even taken five steps into the hallway before he had to stop and lean on the wall. “Damn it to Hell,” he muttered, drying his face and throwing the towel to the floor. Pushing off the wall, he realized what he had just said and laughed at the irony in his mind; not having the energy to laugh aloud. His silent laughter didn’t stop as he continued down the hall, bumping into a table and stumbling every few steps. He reached his bedroom after what felt like ages. Having reached his goal, he felt ready to collapse until he looked up at his bed. His longing for the comfort of it gave him enough resolve to push on towards it. Once he was a few feet away, he fell forward and landed on his comforter. He groaned, this time from disappointment; the comforter was too warm and he was already hot from being so ill. Cursing for what felt like the millionth time in the last hour, he rolled over onto his back and adjusted himself before reaching for his bedside table. He grabbed the two items on the edge: his cell phone and the book he had been reading before he had rushed to the bathroom. First, he flipped open his phone to see that he had a new message. The name simply said “JC.” The sight of his best friend’s name on the message caused him to frown. He highlighted “Read Now” and pressed “OK,” only to be disappointed with the short text: “Appointment at 4.” Wyatt’s frown turned into a scowl as he angrily thought, you got me into this mess and that’s all you can say? He put the phone in his pocket to avoid carrying out his urge to throw it at the farthest wall. He then looked at his alarm clock only to see he had barely an hour left until 4. “Another damn appointment,” he muttered, looking at the inside of his elbow. A needle prick was still visible from where he had his blood drawn the day before. His eyes barely moved upwards, from a needle prick to a set of scars he had received recently. The previous scars had barely healed when he received these newer ones. It’s J.C.’s fault all of this is happening. His best friend’s image flashed into his mind and Wyatt saw the features that he had been jealous of since they met. Before he could think about J.C. for over a second, his mental image distorted, causing him to gag. “UGH!” He bent over the edge of his bed just as the vomit left his mouth. He wiped his mouth after finishing and looked at the puddle. “Auntie Vee’s gonna kill me if I don’t clean that…” he mumbled to himself, but instead of getting up to find a mop, he just leaned back into the bed and opened his book. He searched for the page he was on and continued reading, losing himself in it. Roughly twenty minutes later, he closed the book and burst out laughing. He was laughing so hard, his ribs started to hurt. He kept it up for a good five minutes, gasping for air when he finished. He looked at the name on the cover and said, “Sorry, James, you sure had it wrong…if only you knew what I do…” He was pretty sure the name on the cover wasn’t the actual author, but he couldn’t care less. If the actual authors knew what he did…if they had seen what he had or heard what he has…Feeling angry again, Wyatt kicked the book to the floor. All of a sudden, a shearing pain shot across his stomach, making him moan and hunch over. He could feel the sweat running down his skin, his dry lips chapping, his bloodshot eyes retreating under their lids. He knew there were people who would give anything to know what he had learned these last few weeks, scientists who would love to use this information, churches that would do whatever it took to have it. He knew there were people who would kill to be in his shoes, to be able to do what he could. Hell, he probably would have thought the same thing a month ago, but now the only thing he could think was “It’s not worth it.” After the pain subsided, he brought his knees to his chest and hugged them, burying his face and fighting back the tears that were coming. He stayed in that position for several minutes, shivering despite how hot he was feeling, small whimpers escaping from his mouth. He would have dozed off if it wasn’t for the sound of a car horn outside. I guess they’re here…, he thought, slowly uncurling. He turned his body and let his feet fall off the bed, making sure to avoid the puddle of vomit. He waited for a few seconds before wiping his eyes and standing up. Making sure he had his cell in one pocket and his keys in the other, he walked towards the door. Three steps later, he stopped, turned around, and moved towards the foot of the bed, looking down at the open book on the floor, cover up. He bent down and picked it up, noticing it was ironically on the first page. Outside, the car honked its horn twice more and he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket seconds later. “I’m coming,” he whispered without moving an inch. His eyes were focused on first page of his book, the book whose authors were so wrong, and the story he had known about all his life but had not once thought about. In his mind, he kept accusing the book of being wrong. He knew the truth and it wasn’t in his hands. He closed the book and threw it to the bed, shaking his head as he walked out his door as the vibration against his leg ceased. As he headed towards the stairs, the first line kept repeating itself in his mind. The first line which was also the first lie. As he walked down the stairs, he felt his phone vibrate again. Remembering someone had called him and immediately knowing it was the driver waiting outside, he flipped open his phone and put it to his ear, only saying, “On my way,” before closing it and returning it to his pocket. He couldn’t give a damn less what the driver had to say. There was no way he was going to tolerate someone rushing him after what he’d been through. He reached the front door (barely avoiding the living room table), unlocked it and walked outside. The sun blinded him instantly and his arm shot up to shield his eyes. He turned around and used his other hand to reach into his pocket, grab his keys, and locked the door. An obnoxious honk caused him to jump, turn around and yell at the parked car, “SHUT THE HELL UP!” It was only after his eyes adjusted to the sun that he realized people on the sidewalk were staring at him. Not giving them a second glance, not even to the daughter of his neighbor of seven years, he walked quickly to the car. He stopped before opening it, the line from the book ringing in his head. That line…the line that was a complete lie, but had always given him some kind of comfort. His comfort gone, he felt his hands clench into fists as the driver waited impatiently. After a brief moment, he opened the passenger door and muttered the line before getting in, “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth……bullshit.” Chapter 1 “You are not a normal kid.” Spoiler One Month Ago “Carr?” “Here.” “Carver? “Here.” “Chin?” “Yeah, I’m here.” “Charlotte?” “…..” “No Charlotte?” “..Oh, here, Mr. Camish!” was the late response from the girl several seats up. “Pay attention during roll call, Jessica,” replied Mr. Camish, not looking up from his roll book and failing to see that the girl had already turned back to her conversation with her neighbor. He cleared his throat and went on to the next name, “Christopher?” Wyatt glanced to the empty seat at his right, where his best friend usually sat. It was strange for him to be late. He looked at Camish and called out, “He’s not here, ye-“ Before he could finish, the door swung open and in rushed Jonathan Christopher. He seemed to be out of breath, a condition Wyatt thought was rare for him to be in. He was wearing faded jeans and a black t-shirt with short sleeves and an intricate white design on it. Around his neck hung a small chain; a golden charm in the shape of a royal cross dangled in the center. His backpack was hanging off one shoulder and was half open. Wyatt even noticed his shoes were untied. The tardy student raised his right hand to his jet black hair, which reached his shoulders, and addressed his teacher with a lazily-put together smile,“Sorry I’m late; overslept.” Camish looked at him and gestured towards the class, “You’re just in time, J.C.,” calling him by the name he preferred, “Have a seat.” The math teacher had looked back in his book, not seeing the nod he had received, and moved on to the next name, “Craig?” While Camish continued with the roll call, J.C. walked towards his desk. He acted oblivious to the dreamy stare he was receiving from Jessica Charlotte as he walked past her. When he reached his desk next to Wyatt’s, he gave his friend a quick nod before sitting down and immediately laying his head down on his desk, using his arms as a pillow. “…Gonna take your bag off, at least?” Wyatt laughed, only to get an annoyed grunt in return. J.C. turned his head, revealing one of his bright green eyes to Wyatt. “You all right?” Wyatt asked his friend. “Not enough sleep, head hurts, and I’m starving,”replied J.C., lazily sitting up and taking his backpack off his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor. It made an extremely loud thud that interrupted the roll call and caused Camish, along with the rest of the class, to jump and stare at J.C. “Sorry,” he muttered, putting his head back down. “Yes, well…where was I?” Mr. Camish asked to no one in particular as he searched for his place in his notebook. “Ah yes, Dicen?” “Yeah, here,” called out Jeffrey, the boy behind J.C., who then proceeded to put his head down as well. As the calling of last names, drowsyhere’s, and the occasional silence continued, Wyatt addressed J.C. curiously, “Weird. I think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you this tired; you’re usually a morning person.” “Yeah, well…” was all he could make out from J.C.’s reply, followed by a series of grumbles. How ironic, thought Wyatt as he started humming. He was usually the tired one in the morning while J.C. was usually ready to run a marathon if he had to, but today, it was the other way around. Wyatt couldn’t remember the last time he had a good night’s sleep before last night. Senior year was definitely more stressful than he had thought it would be during the previous year. Wyatt smiled as he reached down into his open backpack, searching for his calculus notebook. Finding the spiral book, he pulled it out along with his calculator just in time to hear his surname being called out. “Vanners?” “I’m here,” he replied, looking up for a quick moment. He placed his materials on his desk and kicked his backpack under his chair and let out a yawn. Alright, maybe I’m a little tired, too… He thought and glanced at the clock. In just a mere seven hours, school would be over and it would officially be the weekend. And just four hours after that, he would be on a double date with J.C., Jessica, and her friend, Abigail. Not that J.C. cared much for Jessica, or how she felt. As if on cue, J.C. looked up and asked, “We still up for tonight, aren’t we?” He didn’t bother hiding the regret in his voice. The words may have asked if they’re still going to the movies, but the tone was obviously asking why he had agreed to go. His eyes had a glimmer of hope, hope that was shattered when Wyatt gave him a big grin and nodded. J.C. held back his groan as he looked towards the front of the class at Jessica, who just happened to be stealing glances at him. The moment they made eye contact, her cheeks turned as red as an apple and she looked away. This made J.C. smirk, flashing his pearl white and perfectly straightened teeth. Wyatt struggled to hold his laughter at Jessica’s reaction as she slowly looked back at J.C. and, seeing his smile, repeated her response. “Williams?” Asked Mr. Camish, finishing the roll call. After a moment of silence, he repeated the name. Hearing only the chatter of his seniors, but no confirmation from them, the middle-aged man looked up through his thin eyeglasses. He scoured the class for a few seconds before marking in his notebook and whispering, “Absent.” He closed his roll book, placed it on his desk, and stood up with a marker in hand. “Alright, quiet down, guys. It’s time to start class,” he sternly told his students. The chatter of the calculus students was soon replaced with the ruffle of notebook paper. Wyatt let out one more yawn before opening his notebook and flipping through the pages to find his notes. “I fucking love calculus,” whispered J.C. sarcastically, keeping his head down. ********** “Yo, wake up. You have company,” Wyatt called to J.C. as the bell rang. An annoyed groan later, J.C. sat up just in time to see Jessica approaching him. “Oh great,”he grumbled under his breath as Jessica looked down to avoid eye contact. “So, ummm…are we still going to the movies tonight?” She asked J.C. timidly, only to be answered by Wyatt. “Yeah. I mean, if you and Abbie are still up for it…?” Wyatt didn’t give J.C. a chance to answer. Knowing J.C., he would have canceled the date. Jessica immediately turned her head to Wyatt, a huge smile on her heart-shaped face. “Of course! She told me before school that she can’t wait to see you tonight!” She exclaimed, obviously giddy at the idea of a new couple forming. She leaned against Wyatt’s desk; her shirt rising to show just an inch of stomach, which immediately caught J.C.’s attention. Pretending not to notice, she reached up and pushed her long brown hair behind her ear. “She really likes you, you know?” She asked Wyatt, referring to Abbie. Wyatt tried to hide his smile by reaching under his chair to get his backpack. “I would hope so,” he said aloud, adding to himself, “Or tonight’ll be all for nothing.” “So tonight, then?” The girl asked, not noticing that J.C. had not only already stopped looking at her, but had quickly and silently left the room. “Yeah, I’ll call before we pick you girls up,” Wyatt answered, placing his notebook and calculator in his bag and standing up. “You ready to-“ he started asking J.C., only to find the seat empty. Jessica noticed the seat where the object of her affection was previously sitting just minutes before was now vacant, and Wyatt, in order to spare her feelings, immediately said, “Kid’s always in a hurry. His physics teacher said if he’s late one more time, he’s failing.” Even though he was constantly late to his physics class across the school, Wyatt knew that physics was J.C.’s best subject and that he was the teacher’s pet. “Oh…well,” Jessica’s giddiness was gone, but she was still smiling, not knowing J.C. had left simply to avoid her, “Tonight then!” And with that, she was off. Wyatt watched her walk out before following. I don’t know what his problem is, Jessica has it going on, he thought, making note of Jessica’s curves. But she’s no Abbie, he added, a mental image of Jessica’s best friend in his head as he walked out. ********* Wyatt looked down at the remaining pieces of chicken casserole on his tray. He moved his fork through the food, trying to decide if he should finish it. He loved the cafeteria’s chicken casserole, but he was already full. Deciding against it, he pushed his tray away and looked across the table. J.C.’s plate was licked clean and he was leaned back in his chair, looking around the cafeteria. “What, you looking for a small deer to attack and eat next?” Wyatt joked, “I mean, I love chicken casserole day as much as the next guy, but you literally devoured your food.” J.C. turned his head to face Wyatt and replied, “Don’t be ridiculous, I wouldn’t settle for a deer. I’m looking for at least a horse.” Wyatt almost laughed, before realizing J.C. wasn’t even smiling. “I’m worried that you’re serious. Promise me you won’t take a bite out of me when I’m not looking?” Wyatt tried to sound serious, but his smile made it obvious he was joking. J.C.’s expression finally broke and he let out a chuckle. “No promises, man. You’re looking mighty tasty right now.” While Wyatt laughed in response, J.C. turned his head to the guy next to him who was busy trying to send a text message with his phone hidden under the table. There was a half eaten apple on his tray and J.C. set his sights on it. “Hey, Paul, you gonna finish that apple?” Only getting a grunt in return, J.C. grabbed the apple and took a bite. Across from him, Wyatt eyed him, one eyebrow raised slightly higher than the other. “What’s with you today? You seem sorta off,” he inquired, slightly disgusted that J.C. was eating after Paul, who gets caught picking his nose on a daily basis. Although he was more awake than he was during their calculus class, J.C. was obviously still groggy. He also seemed a little more irritable than usual, which Wyatt blamed on lack of sleep and breakfast. J.C. finished the apple before dropping it to his tray. While he was chewing, he frowned at Wyatt and looked around again. The cafeteria was louder than usual and it was annoying him that he couldn’t even hear himself chew. Two swallows later, he looked back at Wyatt and answered, “I don’t know. I think I’m coming down with something.” He opened his mouth to let out a burp, but nothing came out. “I’ve been feeling a little messed up all week, but today’s just…worse.” “Eh, probably just senioritis,” Wyatt assured him. “We only have, like, five weeks of school left. Everyone’s ready to finish.” One thing’s for sure…I sure am, he thought. He couldn’t wait to start college. “That’s not it,” J.C. answered back, suddenly annoyed even more, “I mean, yeah, high school sucks and good riddance to it, but I meant that I’m feeling physically sick.” Next to him, Paul finally stopped texting and put his phone back in his pocket. He stretched for a moment and then looked down. He put a curious expression on his face and then started looking around at everyone’s plate. “What is it? Stomachache? Headache? You getting Swine Flu?” Wyatt asked, pushing his chair back and standing up. He grabbed his tray and J.C. followed suit. They started walking towards the trash. “I don’t know. Hope it’s not Swine Flu, though. The first epidemic scare was bad enough.” “So…what?” Wyatt was curious. He couldn’t even remember last time J.C. sneezed, let alone get sick. According to J.C.’s parents, he had a high immune system. “It’s just random stuff. Headaches coming out of nowhere, I’ll get this weird buzzing noise in my ears, my nose’ll start bleeding randomly, or my body just crashes and I get tired. Like yesterday, I was alright during school, but when I got home, I just got tired. I crashed right on the couch. I didn’t even make it to my room,” answered J.C. as he dumped the apple core in the trash can and placed his tray on the stack of trays next to it. “Not just that, I didn’t wake up until this morning. I slept over fifteen hours, man! And I’m still tired as hell.” Wyatt did the same with his tray, although he had more on it than just an apple. As they started walking back towards the table, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Not daring to get it out as they were walking past two teachers who were supposed to be supervising the cafeteria –but were too deep in discussion to actually notice what was going on around them-, he kept his focus on J.C. “I guess that explains why you’re so hungry. You didn’t eat since lunch yesterday? That’s a whole day.” J.C. just nodded and looked around the cafeteria again. Wyatt wondered if he really was searching for a horse to eat. Apparently, he couldn’t find one because he let out an exasperated sigh just in time to hear Paul say, “Michael, I know you took my damn apple!” J.C. didn’t laugh when he heard Paul, unlike Wyatt who laughed while giving him a blameful look. While Paul and Michael argued over where the apple went, J.C. led Wyatt past the table. He didn’t feel like telling Paul he took his apple and the noise of the cafeteria was getting on his nerves more than ever. As they walked towards the doors, he put both hands in his pockets and asked Wyatt, “So…tonight is definitely a go, huh?” “Hell yes,” was Wyatt’s enthusiastic reply. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket again; this time it made him remember something. “Jessica texted me last period making sure…again.” Wyatt couldn’t blame Jessica for wanting to go on the date so badly, he was feeling the same way. However, he wasn’t excited about J.C., but about Abbie. He had been talking to Abbie outside of school the previous week when he let it slip he planned to see a movie that she apparently was dying to see as well. Without thinking, he asked if she would like to go see it together. She agreed, although with a blush that made Wyatt blush in return. However, Jessica heard about it and suggested a double date with J.C. Wyatt convinced his friend to go along with it. He wasn’t going to let J.C.’s feelings for Jessica, or lack thereof, get in the way after finally getting a date with Abbie. J.C. sighed again when they entered the hallway. “I don’t understand why you waited until the end of senior year to finally get a date with her. You’ve been crushing on her for, what, seven years?” He asked, leaning against a random locker. Wyatt shook his head and corrected him, “No, we’ve been neighbors for seven years after Aunt Vee and I moved in next to her. We didn’t even talk until we started high school; I think she thought I was a creepy little kid.” He couldn’t help laugh a little when he thought about it. “And it wasn’t even until right before junior year that I started, uhh, thinking about her more.” He didn’t like to use words like “crush” or “like,” or, as Jessica had once put it, “madly in love with.” When more and more students came out of the cafeteria and started filling the hall, Wyatt looked around for a clock and, finding one, noted that they only had a few minutes left of lunch. It always annoyed him that he didn’t have lunch hour with Abbie like he did the previous year. J.C. glared at each student that walked past, causing Wyatt to assume he was watching out for Paul. However, Paul walked by, seemingly annoyed, with the rest of their lunch pals, and J.C. still studied each student walking by. It wasn’t until Wyatt asked, “Who are you looking for?” that J.C. turned his attention back to him. “No one, really,” was his answer, but his voice had a strange tone. Not as if he was lying, but as if he wanted to avoid the subject, which he did. “But yeah, can’t believe it took seven years for your balls to drop,” he said, sighing. Before Wyatt could make a witty comeback involving J.C.’s mother, the bell rung and interrupted them. “Damn, I really don’t want to go to Lit today,” Wyatt complained, just as a large crowd started to pour from the cafeteria. J.C. clenched his teeth as the other kids walked by. The loud chatter was giving him a headache rather easily. “Yeah, I really don’t feel like going to French, either. Considering skipping it,” he told Wyatt. With a frown, Wyatt responded, “And risk ruining your perfect GPA? You might lose your chance at valedictorian.” As he said it, he moved to the locker next to J.C. to avoid people bumping into him. “Like I care. Where’s that going to get me in life? I’m going to ask Mr. Anderson if I can give the title to whoever’s next,” J.C. told his friend, referring to their high school’s guidance counselor. “That’d be a waste, but whatever,” Wyatt had always been jealous of J.C.’s grades. School was easy for him and he currently held honor academic status, but J.C. did almost nothing at all and had perfect grades. “But even if you did skip class…where are you going to, Mr. No Car and No License?” Wyatt asked, pointing out that J.C. was almost eighteen years old and didn’t have a license, let alone a car. J.C. let out an extremely loud laugh, causing some people to quiet down and stare at him, much to his joy. “Look who’s talking. Your car’s older than you are!” “Shut up,” Wyatt had been saving up for a new car, but he was nowhere near buying one. “At least I have something to drive. Which I can legally do,” he said as he patted his back pocket where his wallet was. You don’t even have a cell phone, man.” As the crowd thinned and straggling students rushed to class before the next lunch hour started, J.C. shrugged. “That has nothing to do with anything. Besides, I don’t need one. If I want to talk, I’ll use a regular phone. I don’t even see the point to text messages. If anything, it seems like a hassle.” Wyatt pushed off the locker and got ready to give a social lecture, “The point is-“ but the bell interrupted him, warning them that they had five minutes to get to class. Wyatt looked around and saw the hall was almost empty now. “Eh, whatever. No car, no cell phone, and you don’t want either? You are not a normal kid.” Shrugging again, J.C. informed him, “What’s normal these days? People want to be different so they try to be. But EVERYONE does it. It’s actually normal to not be normal. That’s why high school is filled with fakes.” It was one of the things that annoyed J.C. most about people, and Wyatt knew that. “But normal will always have that set definition, you know? That predetermined socially accepted view of normal. In other words, there’s no way to actually be different, unless you just purely don’t give a damn which, in turn, makes the fakes think they’re better than you or something.” His face had the usual annoyed expression it did when he thought about “fake” people. “Purely don’t give a damn? Like you?” J.C. just cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, “You saying I don’t give a damn? I do. I’m just too lazy to actually care that I give a damn.” “Uh, wait,” Wyatt was confused, “Not caring is the same thing as not giving a damn; how are you too lazy to care that you care?” “I don’t know. Figure it out. I think I’ll go find a janitor’s closet to sleep in. Gonna be late to class anyway,” and with that, J.C. walked away, waving his hand without looking at Wyatt. “Alright, I’ll meet you after school!” Wyatt called as he headed the other direction. How weird…something is definitely bothering him. He was worried about his friend, but when J.C. didn’t want to talk about something, that was that. J.C. was the type who would tell someone exactly what he thought without a moment’s hesitation, but only when he felt like it. “Christ, he’s so hard to figure out,” Wyatt muttered as he rushed to his locker to get his text books. On his way there, he looked around to make sure no teachers were around and, when he didn’t see any, took his cell phone out to read his messages. The first one was from his aunt, saying she’ll be working late and will be home in time for dinner. Making a mental note to reply back later, he flipped to the next message. Noticing it was from Abbie, he quickly opened it. The message simply said, “Cant wait til tonight : ) Ttyl *Abs*” Wyatt closed his cell phone and returned it to his left pocket. He picked up his pace just as the bell rang. Even though he was officially late, he couldn’t help but have a big smile on his face. *************** “Finally!” Was the excited response Wyatt had to the sound of the final bell ringing. His friends and he were the first out the door of his sixth period Spanish class. “Yeah, see ya later,” he called out to Paul and Michael as they went in the opposite direction towards their lockers. As he walked to his own locker to put his Spanish books up, he grabbed his earphones from his right pocket and inserted the left one in his ear while the other dangled. He pulled out his iPod and started flipping through songs, humming along. “You and your pointless technology,” said a voice behind him. Recognizing and ignoring J.C.’s voice, Wyatt continued to hum. “Yo, Vanners, I’m not going to the movies after all,” J.C. said next while he caught up to Wyatt’s side. Wyatt still didn’t acknowledge him, a silent call to J.C.’s bluff. “You know what? You and your music can go to Hell. Your taste in bands sucks, anyways.” Wyatt finally acknowledged his friend by turning his face to J.C.’s and humming louder. The two walked in semi-silence among the animated chatter of the other students, until they reached Wyatt’s locker. J.C. rested against his shoulder on the locker next to Wyatt’s as Wyatt started spinning the combination lock. “How was your nap?” Wyatt asked as he tried the handle. The locker failed to open and he kicked it. Four years of this and I still have trouble with these things? He thought as he tried his combination again. J.C. sighed before replying. “It was great…until someone came in and sent me to class. Apparently, students aren’t allowed to nap in the teachers’ lounge during class!” He exclaimed, feigning shock, “Who would’ve thought, right?” Wyatt chuckled, shrugged, and successfully opened his locker. “Wonder when they added that rule,” he said sarcastically. He swung his backpack off his shoulder and into the floor of the locker. He pulled out his lucky hat and a pair of sunglasses. The black and gold hat barely fit Wyatt’s head after his aunt had accidentally washed it, but he still wore it proudly. He laid the sunglasses on top of the bill while the ear pieces rested over his ears. He took out his earphone and placed it back in his pocket without turning his iPod off. He would be home soon enough to charge it anyway. He slammed the locker door without taking his backpack out and looked at J.C., who had a questioning expression. “No homework,” Wyatt grinned. “Might as well leave my books here for the weekend.” “Lucky. I got translations for French and a Physics worksheet,” complained J.C. He let out a sigh and pushed himself off the locker. A small group of students passed him by and he fell in line behind them. Wyatt walked next to him as they followed the other students outside. “You can work on them after the movie,” he said as they stepped through the door. “You know what you’re wearing?” He asked as strayed from the group of kids headed towards the school bus zone and moved towards the student parking lot. “What?” J.C. asked, suddenly stopping. “The hell do you mean ‘do I know what I’m wearing?’” His green eyes looked into Wyatt’s light brown eyes. He had one eyebrow arched and the corners of his mouth were slightly tilted downwards. “I’m wearing the same thing I’m wearing now! You sound like a girl, man.” Wyatt couldn’t help but laugh at the answer he received. “My bad. I just want us to look good, you know?” He stood in front of J.C. on the edge of the sidewalk while a line of cars started forming next to them. “I mean, I want this to go great,” he explained. His voice had a faint tone of embarrassment. “Yeah, yeah,” was the only thing J.C. had to add on the subject. He looked from Wyatt to the black Honda directly to his side. It was a fairly new car, but he wasn’t focused on the vehicle. His eyes were set on the driver’s window, glaring through at the person behind the window. The windows were tinted, but he made out a middle-aged woman. Next to her, on the passenger’s side, was a teenage girl, obviously a couple years younger than him. The driver caught him staring and scowled at him, almost as if to silently ask “What are you looking at?” He simply shrugged and moved his gaze to the car behind them. He studied the cars in line for a few minutes before he realized Wyatt had been talking. “I’m sorry, what?” Wyatt was annoyed at being ignored. He looked at all the cars J.C. had stared at and then back at his friend to reply, “I asked how you were feeling. Three times. What’s wrong with you? You looking for somebody?” Again, he looked at all the cars and then around at all the students. J.C. shook his head quickly, “No, it’s just-well, it’s weird.” “What are you talking about?” “Well…” J.C. wasn’t sure how to word his thoughts, so he started walking down the sidewalk as he tried. “All day, I’ve been feeling like I’m being watched.” “Watched? By who?” Wyatt asked, jumping ahead of J.C. to take the lead. “Well, not watched per se. More like… there’s someone here? I don’t know how to explain it.” “Uh, of course there’s someone here,” Wyatt answered, “Roughly 1500 students, several dozen teachers and faculty, and also a bunch of parents picking their kids up.” J.C. stopped walking as they reached the outside of the main entrance of the school. “Well, duh. I mean, someone…special? Like I said, I don’t know how to…explain…” his voice drifted off as he looked past Wyatt and up at the main entrance. The doors opened and the principal walked out. Accompanying him was a tall blond woman. She was wearing a dark blue blouse with a matching skirt. On her face was a pair of thinly rimmed glasses. Her expression was agitated and J.C. could make out a several wrinkles on her face, despite the distance. “Who are you staring at?” Wyatt asked as he turned around to follow J.C.’s gaze. “Who’s that? Not a teacher, I don’t recognize her. Principal Michelson’s talking to her, though,” Wyatt thought her face looked a bit like an angry gerbil’s. She obviously had surgery on her nose. “Oh, a parent, looks like,” he said as he noticed a boy’s figure next to the woman. The boy, woman, and Principal Michelson stopped walking several yards away from Wyatt and J.C. Principal Michelson seemed worried and Wyatt could make out an apology. The woman responded in hasty whispers. She towered over their five and a half foot, middle-aged and balding principal. “Wonder what’s up?” Wyatt pondered aloud as he looked at J.C., but J.C. was still staring at the trio. His face was expressionless, except for his eyes which seemed to be glaring. This time it was Wyatt’s turn to raise an eyebrow as he followed J.C.’s gaze again. Wyatt guessed he was staring at the boy next to the woman. It wasn’t too hard to figure out; the boy was glaring right back. The boy’s appearance seemed suspicious to Wyatt. He was shorter than the woman, but taller than their principal. Wyatt guessed he must’ve been around 5’10, the same height as himself. His short hair was a blond so light, Wyatt thought it was bleached. His bangs were dyed a light red and hung right at the top of his eyes, concealing his eyebrows. Wyatt couldn’t make out the color of his eyes, but he could see a horizontal scar started below one eye and stretched all the way across the boy’s nose, other eye, and ended near his ear. The ear had a diamond stud in it, but the other ear had a dark red earring. However, what really seemed off to Wyatt was the boy’s clothing. He was wearing baggy jeans, with more pockets than Wyatt had ever seen on a pair of pants and a gray hooded sweatshirt with the hood down. The sleeves covered his arms entirely, all the way to his hands which were buried in his pockets. In fact, Wyatt realized the only skin he could see on the boy was his head. What the hell? It must be 85 degrees out here, Wyatt thought. What could make someone wear that in this weather? “What’s with hi-“ Wyatt started to ask until he saw the boy shift his gaze from J.C. to him. He gave an angry frown at Wyatt and then pulled his hands out of his pockets and up to his hood. Wyatt saw a pair of leather gloves with the fingers cut off on his hands. The boy put on his hood and looked away from the pair before saying something to the woman. “I don’t like him,” J.C. said out of nowhere. “I don’t know why…but I don’t like him.” He felt something warm above his lip and thought his nose was running. “I don’t blame you. I don’t either,” Wyatt agree as he looked away from the boy. “I mean, seriously, what’s with-dude, your nose!” He exclaimed mid-sentence as he noticed J.C.’s nose was bleeding. “You’re bleeding!” “What?” The blond boy left J.C.’s mind as he reached up to his nose. “Again? Damn it, what’s wrong with me?” He wiped the blood away, but felt more on its way. He held his hand to his nose and looked up. The tall blond woman and the hooded blond boy were walking in their direction while Principal Michelson was walking the other way, back into the school. “I got some tissues in my car, let’s go,” Wyatt started to push J.C., but noticed the duo walked towards them. He saw the woman look at J.C. and him out of the corner of her eye, but she simply walked past them. The boy on the other hand completely turned his head to look at J.C., completely ignoring Wyatt. Wyatt couldn’t read his shadow-covered face, but he could tell he liked the boy even less than he did a second before. The boy turned his head forward and kept walking, following the woman. “That’s strange…” Wyatt muttered. “Yeah, seriously,” J.C. muttered back. His eyes were focused on the boy’s back and his hand held tightly to his nose. After a moment, he turned around to Wyatt. “What did you say about tissues in your car?”
AHA! I am actually super chuffed at myself for foreseeing the ending. At first I was extremely confused, but as soon as you mentioned the book it clicked. And when you mentioned irony of his exclamation of Hell. Or maybe it's just because I've been having very similar thoughts lately. <_> It was a great idea, and executed quite finely. I have to admit though, my initial thought upon clicking the spoiler tag was "WALL OF TEXT OH GOD." You may have copy pasted but that doesn't mean you can't edit in some seperating lines between those paragraphs. >3 Noticed a few things. This isn't past tense. Also, the first few lines were a bit disappointing in that you had a lot of repetitive vocabulary, such as "vomit" and "flush". I honestly think this could serve as a one-shot; it barely feels like a prologue to me. I'd be intrested to see where this leads though.
I kind of wanted the ending to be somewhat predictable, but still make people "wow" when they read it, I don't know if that worked, though. The wall of text is actually where I put the paragraph breaks on Word >> I have a habit for making long paragraphs. In fact, most of those have been split in half lol Same for tense confusion, so thanks for that pointing that out. After I wrote it, I actually felt like leaving it as a one-shot, but I had a long plot in the back of mind with all these details (the prologue is actually the latest thing I've thought of) and I have to get them out xD The main problem I fear is that everyone who reads it has been telling me the mystery of it is really appealing, but the rest of it isn't really a mystery so I feel like it'll be a disappointed. Anyways, halfway done with the first chapter; it'll be up soon.
Interested enough to continue reading. I'm not going to add anything right now because I'm not feeling too observant right now and I tend to withhold judgment until there is more to go on anyways.
Feel free to tear me down. I'll take any and all criticism. Anyways, I've been meaning to finish the first chapter for ages now, but I never got around to it. Couldn't sleep one night earlier this week and decided to force myself to write it. I finished it, although I ended it a bit earlier than I meant to. For some reason, it's putting two spoilers after Chapter 1. The first one isn't hiding anything and when I go edit it out, I can't see any spoiler tags. So just ignore that until I figure out why my computer is doing that. Anyways, I tried to dialogue to flow naturally, I don't think I succeeded too well at that. I also feel like the flow of my sentences isn't so...flowy? But oh well ~Updated.
I actually thought your use of dialogue was excellent, especially using it to begin the chapter rather than using a bulk of description like many others do. There were no problems with flow, as far as I could tell. I really liked it, and you pushed character development just the right amount for a first chapter. At first I was a little irritated by the cliché highschool crush with Wyatt and Abbie but I'm sort of okay with it now. You also managed to inject some humor into your work, this made me laugh especially. xD The fact weird things are happening to J.C makes me wonder what kind of story this will become, but I really hope it doesn't become too supernatural or something because to me it seems like it might potentially ruin a great, realistic setting. Let's see where it ends up, though. xD
I'd forgotten how awkward it is reading third person omniscient with detail. It's not wrong or anything but it could have been a little less choppy on the transitions between following Wyatt's thoughts and J.C.'s. You trip up occasionally on the grammar and it's noticeable, but you did this instead of sleeping so I'll forgive it readily. Plot is going somewhere, don't know where but there is building going on and that's a good sign. I feel like this might go in a direction that it doesn't really need to, but I can also see this going to a zombie apocalyse so I'll just have to wait and see. Characters are developing, maybe not into the most likable people from my perspective but they feel believable and unique from each other which is a plus. Overall I'm gonna keep reading and see if I like this or not but it's one the fence right now, at least the quality of the technical side isn't bad at all.
