An essay for What? But do you truly deserve an essay? Did you do your homework? Feed the dog? Water the horse? Drain the lizard? I can assume you did one of those things today so I guess I will give you a short essay, which around here is a novel. There were a group of people from a northern European army, at war in a jungle. This squad had a local native show up who was to inform them of what to do should they run into the local wildlife there. The captain looked at his squad in seriousness. "All right, me troops! Yer gonna be goin' out there and we are the last hope ta gettin' the enemy flushed out. Howe'er, there have been numerous people dyin' by speckled snakes. They be very poisonous! So I got this fella here who's gonna tell ye how to deal with em." The native man stepped forward and dropped a speckled snake on the ground and spoke. "If you be seein' a speckled snake, first thing you be wantin' ta do is grab it by dah tail. Then you be workin' yer way up da body till you get to the neck. Then jus' snap its neck. Easy huh?" The native man did the deed and with ease snapped the snake's neck so it was dead. "It's jus' a little snake but one of da most poisonous. Be wary!" The captain thanked the man and the troops felt invigorated and prepared to take on the wild. And soon they were sent out. 3 days later, the troop met back up after a successful mission. There were 3 soldiers there who were injured enough to be considered up for rewards. One guy had a broken arm and leg. The second guy had broken ribs and a broken ankle. The third guy however, was literally in traction, looking a lot like a mummy. The captain went to the first man and said "Explain yer bravery soldier so that all may know!" The man nodded. "Well sir, I was trapsin' through the jungle wit' me buddies and I noticed the trail, went and followed the signs o' the enemies and we ambushed 'em, takin' em right out! I got shot twice but we done it!" The captain and soldiers clapped and the man was rewarded with a nice badge. The captain went to the second man with the broken ribs and ankle. "So what'did you do out dere, soldier?" "Well sir" he said with a raspy voice. "I was trapsin through the jungle wit' me buddies an' we got into a fire fight with the enemies. I wen' to rescued the lieutenant by takin' a couple shots fer 'em an' den fell over a ledge. But I lived." The captain and troops clapped, but before he was done, he added "An' ya know, I saws one o' dem speckled snakes, so I did right what'cha told me an' it worked!" The troops were now joyous and the man was given his reward. The captain walked over to the third man in traction, mummified and definitely not able to hold himself up. He was a real mess. "My god, man! What happened to ye?" "Well sir" he voiced nervously. "I was trapsin' through the jungle with me troop, an we were hot on the trail of a group of the enemy. So we planned an ambush. I got to hidin' by this tree and brush and surely, there was the enemy down at a camp. I got them in my lineup when I noticed one of dem dere speckled snakes. So, I remembered what was said." He took a deep breath now. "So I got it at the tip of the tail, an' inched mah way up its back, and then snapped... ...and then that's when I found out I had my thumb up the tiger's ass."
Hey, northern Europeans don't talk like that in English! Were they Danes, they'd sound like they had a hot potato in their mouth. If they were Swedes or Norwegian, they'd sound like they're singing in their native language, rather than in English. And a Finn would merely grunt a reply that would be recognized as English only after the Finn repeated whatever he said a dozen times. :ninjacat:
Nope, Pika. I wrote it out of memory. xD Copy and paste would be so cheat! And Alexandra, I don't wanna write someone else's essays!
