So I need just a little bit of guidance here, a few examples . . . I have a ****** relationship with my mom and sometimes I want her dead. This may sound normal, me being a teenager and all, but it's not - and just trust me on that. That's the tl;dr version. It may be a bit of a personal question, but I'd like to know what a good relationship with a mom or dad looks like, I might be able to learn because no one else seems to help very well. Er . . . go?
In answer to that question, a 'healthy relationship' is kind of hard to come by, and may take a while to build back up. The biggest part of a healthy relationship with anybody is respect. If that respect is there, that solves many problems. But that's only the beginning.
In my own view, a good relationship, with anyone, is having a good understanding of each other and being able to communicate in a calm manner. What kind of problems are you having, exactly?
To me I have a great relationship with my family, but it leavews me terrified of yelling as I'm not used to it at all. I also find it hard to stand up to people in arguments as I don't have the experience. But to answer your question, it sort of just means you can talk to them happily, I talk to my parents like I talk to my friends (but not about the same stuff obviously) and I treat them like mates. I can't tell them absolutely anything but I would trust my Mum with most things. I believe trust is a very important starter, if you want to mend the relationship with your parents then you should talk to them but the only way that'll be effective is if they respect and trust you enough to listen to what you have to say. So, I would do something nice for your parents- something unexpected, like make them a cup of tea or bake a cake for the household or something, use your talents, it doesn't have to be huge and then your parents should hopefully respect you. At first they'll probably question why you are doing it, and probably suspect that you want something but you can say that all you expect is a proper relationship with them. You don't even have to say anything, just reply "nothing" if they ask and continue to be nice even if they have upset you (which makes it very difficult but it's important) and then you could just talk to them about how you feel.
A relationship with your parents is a tricky thing, but as for what is 'healthy'... You should feel loved by your parents, and if you do not, then the relationship is unhealthy on one side or the other. Think about what would make you feel loved, and that is probably the closest thing to healthy that you are going to get. If you do not have that now, then you are not in a healthy relationship with them, probably due to them. The parents raise the child and not the other way around, after all.
Talk to them, and keep an open mind. If you get really defensive about something, it usually means you are in the wrong. Be honest, listen to them, and try not to make matters worse. If they do, keep in mind that you cannot change their reaction about anything. They are people as well.
Sorry but that doesn't really sound straight forward -_- it's basically what everyone tells a teenager just worded a bit different. Sax wanted to know what you thought was a normal healthy relationship not how to change the one she has. Sorry just felt like throwing that out there. I have an . . . well it's not exactly the healthiest relationship with my mom but I don't want to kill her. We talk and stuff but that's about it. I probably border on the line of good and bad relationship. As for my dad, I didn't know him until I was like eleven . . . so yea, not too healthy. I don't think there is any advice you can give someone to help them like a person more. No one can change the way you are and maybe you will grow out of it. Hopefully this answered your question and helped in the slightest. Also btw, in my opinion there is no such thing as a "healthy" relationship. Every relationship is going to have its bumps.
a good relationship with parents is very subjective, people see things very differently. for example, i personally think it's unhealthy when parents are acting more like their kids' friend rather than doing real parenting, but other people think that's perfectly fine (and i'm sure there's a perfect middleground). anyways, what i think is a healthy relationship is one with respect on both sides, having parents who teach values to the kids, and both the kids and the parents enjoy the other's company (or can at least be civil to each other). and one more important thing that seems to be in healthy relationships is that parents and kids spend time together.
I have a healthy relationship with my parents, my dad passed away but still I have a healthy relationship with my family. My family is like crazy sometimes but mostly serious, my mom is mostly the one that likes to have fun sometimes, my dad's like that but not as much as my mom but it's still healthy. As a teenager it's hard dealing with your parents because they probably want you to be ready for the life ahead of you and they are right for that. It's hard to hear I know but that's how parents are, they can care about what you want to do and if they don't care then don't feel bad, there's always was to prove to them that you're a good person and a good child. It's never easy as everyone else has pointed out I'm sure but just know not everyone leads a charmed life, some are lucky some aren't but that's why all of us here must stand together and help one another if possible. So yeah mine's healthy and I'm positive yours will be healthy too, good things take time.
Okay, first I'll anser your question about what a healthy relationship looks like. I love my dad, he's awesome. When I was little, he would read me books every night before I went to bed and he would play with me even when he was tired from work. As I got older, he did other things, like take me out to dinner sometimes, just the two of us, or he'd play video games with me, and watch movies or TV with me. Now that I'm older, he treats me like an adult, he talks with me about taxes and jobs, he tells me problems he goes through at work, and talks politics with me when I'm in the mood. Even though I'm not near as smart as he is, he tries to correct me as kindly as possible. Of course, he's not perfect, nobody is, but he tries, and that's what matters. As for the rest of it, I totally see where you're coming from. I used to feel that way about my mom all the time, and still feel that way every once in a while on a bad day. But I learned a long time ago, she won't try to change until I do. So I started making an effort. I would help make dinner, or put away the groceries without being asked. I would do little things, like clean up around the house without complaining. And also, it helps to be respectful, even when she's being absolutely awful. Keep your voice calm and even, don't say anything sarcastic or rude, and yelling back is never the answer. Also, if you do even the slightest thing wrong, try to apoligize for it, even if you think you''re justified. Now, bear in mind, this doesn't always work. This is just my personal experience, I don't know your mom, so I really can't say what will help her. And, even it does work, it will take time. My relationship with my mom is still far from healthy, but we're getting better. Once you're on the path to a healthy relationship, keep working at it. I've been getting my mom to do things with me. Just normal things, like playing a video game or watching a TV show. You don't need to have any heartfelt talks or anything, just try to be a good daughter, the rest will come eventually.
Eh... I get along perfectly fine with my mom and stepdad. My real dad, I wanted dead, and still do from time to time. I know the feeling well I think... I couldn't do anything about it though. It depends if the parent is willing to change, if, like my dad, they are bent in their ways or don't like you for who you are then move(if you can) and if not then I'd just wait it out... I moved away from my dad last year and I haven't kept a relationship since. It all depends on the situation I guess.
