It will howl through the fire like the cymbals of lyre. the scorching earth spills its sorrow it cries through its marrows. Pull it now the voices say pull it now so you won't regret stop the trembling and destroy. Everything I've worked for Just destroy. watch the scarlet run through my face pull it now Just don't forget its only a trigger pull it now without any remorse or regret pull it now. ------------------------------------------- i need critique, this one is rather experimental. and was supposed to be my poem for septembers contest, but the competition is too major for me.
First: spelling counts. 'Haul' not 'houl'. You look ten times smarter when you spell everything impeccably. Second: "cymbals of lyre"? This line does not make sense to me. I know a lyre is a musical instrument, and cymbals are also instruments but how does this work? Third: You've gotta play to win, no? It's interesting, so don't give up on the format if you like it.
actually, the houl...it was supposed to be "howl" , the thing is that i wrote this on a notebook, and when i did, i wrote howl...but it looked like i wrote houl, and in it stayed houl, because i forgot to spell check. i will explain everything. the cymbals of lyre.....my friend asked me the same thing...,when i use lyre im refering to the literary genre , not the instrument used...because there is an literary genre called "lyre" also. and "it will howl through the fire like the cymbals of lyre" means, that the person is comparing the gunshot to be like the sound of cymbals used in the literary genre "lyre"...or in music, whatever you want to call it. and "Marrows" is a clear use of personification.
I obviously make many mistakes too. (Irrevocable proof I'm not god!(You just crushed my dream of what I wanna be when I grow up)) So It makes a hell of a lot more sense to me now. I appreciate the clarification and brief lesson in genre and... yeah.
