Police Blotter

So I like to stay up-to-date on our local police blotter, and it amazes how stupid some people are.

Someone made a call because a 12-pack of beer and a bag of Funyuns were stolen. Another person made a fire call because they had a headache.

A fire call for a headache? Really?

 

Don't get mad when I steal all your breakfast cereals and one shoe of each pair from your house.

 

Don't forget the remote control to every television in the house. This includes game controllers.

 

I'll take one battery from each, so they have to go without certain remotes, and it'll become a bother to swap them around.

 

But at the end of the day, it's just food or beverages.

Call for more serious thefts, such as your TV or something.

 

At the end of the day a theft is a theft. Don't steal people's stuff.

 

As well as his Ipod containing One Direction songs.

 

I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that the cops are busy enough as it is.

 

That's why they should have their hands cut off.

 

What kind of vile beast are you?

 

I'll buy you some legos to place in strategic areas around the house.