yes. i know. a simple title. xD anyway. this fanfic is the history of my OC, Phenox. please read and post how i'm doing. i like to make sure i'm not sucking. lol anyway, here's chapter 1. Chapter One _______________________________________ Phenox sat at his desk waiting for his master to return. His master had no name. Phenox only called him sir. He heard a crash from outside so he went to check it out. Phenox saw his master being attacked by a mysterious man in a black coat. "Sir!" Phenox called out. His master had a deep cut down the side of his face. "P-Phenox! Stay back!" Sir called back. Phenox stopped for a moment. Seconds passed. To Phenox they felt like hours. Phenox drew his blade and ran at the man. "Take this!" Phenox held up his blade, about to strike the man in the head. The man put his hand in the blade's path, Phenox was blocked by what seemed like an invisible sheild. He struggled, attempting to make it through. "Brat..." the man said. Chapter Two ________________ Phenox growled at the man. "Who are you?" Phenox asked through gritted teeth. the man laughed. "I don't think i'm going to tell you..." the man taunted. Phenox had just noticed how deep the man's voice is. "I'll,,,,,,, kill......... you!" Phenox cried, frustrated. the man smirked under his hood. "I don't think so...." the man pushed his hand forward. Phenox felt like he was being pushed back by a strong wind. he flew into the side of his master's house, destroying the wall. "Phenox!" Sir called. "Hmph! Trash..." the man sneered Sir was taken by surprise as the man stabbed what looked like a long laser into Sir's stomach. Chapter 3 ______________ Sir was wide eyed. He uttered one last plea for help before giving in. "Be careful our that will be you..." the man vanished in a dark portal . "S-Sir...." Phenox started to cry. "Hey. Don't cry. Remember what i taught you....?" Sir asked weakly. "Y-yeah, but......" Phenox hid his face in shame. Sir slowly patted Phenox on the back. "Avenge me..... will you?" Sir asked before closing his eyes. "I will..... i promise..." Phenox wiped the tears from his eyes. Chapter Four ________________ Phenox had buried Sir under a tree where they trained before going back to the house. He packed food, water, everything he would need. "I think i've got it all..." Phenox placed a finger on his chin, thinking if he forgot anything. He shook his head and headed out on his own. He would walk as long as he needed to. He didn't care, as long as that man pays for what he did. Phenox walked for days, braving extreme deserts and tundras until he reached a small spring. He would rest here. Phenox rested for a few hours and set off again. Days later, Phenox attracted a mysterious illness.
These all together do not constitute the minimum it takes to make a legitimate chapter. That said this should not be in the Original Work section seeing as it is fanfiction and doesn't belong here. What you do have here is very plain, not bad in any way but too plain and short to really be considered finished since it is basically a play by play lacking in description and style. Also, the word for getting a disease is contracted. You don't attract a disease because, trust me, it's not that into you.
quoted for truth. I read the first paragraph and lost interest. This is fanfiction, not a song, poem, or story. Haha that made me laugh so hard...
