Permission Dating Forum

My mum and dad have only known about one of my relationships, all the others have been kept secret~

kekekeke

 

NAME: Hawt Momma DATE OF BIRTH:19/7/69
HEIGHT: 7'4 WEIGHT: 21 stonnes IQ: That higher than Steven Hawkings.
GPA: Gay Police Association?

SOCIAL SECURITY # 123456789 DRIVERS LICENSE#Had one, lost it for DUI.

BOY SCOUT RANK AND
BADGES: Pedobear. Stalking badge.
HOME ADDRESS: Buchanan Place
CITY/STATE: London ZIP: L87 P54

Do you have parents? Yes...i don't know. They all look the same
Is one male and the other female? No
If No, explain:
Well, i was found in the woods and the badgers raised me.

Number of years they have been married 5...or 6. I move from badger to badger.

If less than your age, explain
I'm a drifter in the badger community.

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? Yes (Is standard for all pedo's. It's white, if that's a bonus)

B. A truck with oversized tires? Yes

C. A waterbed? pffff, of course!

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? I have two. :3

E. A tattoo? Yes, on my back, leg, toosh.

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? All and more.

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

HOW ABOUT NO!?

ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
Means we're havin' a 'good' time.

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
To keep my hands off your unmentionables. It's your pet name for it, right?

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
Means you need to stretch the llead on your daughters leesh.

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend
The Jedi Church

How often you attend
Whenever the Force prompts me.

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? If he on the road. I'd soon find a replacement.

mother? Eating her young.

pastor? Obi-Wan Kenobi is busy on Monday - Friday, but free Saturdays.


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
In the unmentionables.


B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
Funny bone. Life just ain't worth livin' without a laugh.


C: A woman's place is in the:
Kitchen, frying up her young.


D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
If i still wet the bed.


E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? Find Neverland

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
'Is that her real nose?'

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
I prefer the back of a van myself/


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE
AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH,
DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


Hawt Momma
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
Hawt Momma
Mother's Signature/ Father's Signature

 

Yep, dad ordered a few hundred copies *cough* most of 'em are gone already

 

Kitty, yours is the best... xD​

 

done .