Permission Dating Forum

All Right So I was looking around on the internet and I found this(Not for people with short patience):

"APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________
GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #________________ DRIVERS LICENSE#________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND
BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS____________________ ___
CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes __No

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)



ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend
___________________________________________________

How often you attend
________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? ____ __ _______

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________________________________________________


B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________


C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________


D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________


E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?___________________________ __________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
__________________


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE
AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH,
DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________
________________________________
Mother's Signature/ Father's Signature
_______________________________
________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State
Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.

Daddy's Rules for Dating
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package,
because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long
as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or
hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear
their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please
don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete
idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose
this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your
pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is the exact time of return you expect to have my daughter safely home.The only word’s I need from you on this subject are: “early” and “sir”.


Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date
other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date
no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a very busy, middle-aged, businessman who really has no interest in your interest. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a pasture behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for one with a vehicle born improvised explosive device. Do not wear a ball cap sideways or backwards as I may mistake you for an Insurgent. Similar to those I dealt with while serving this great country of ours in the Al Anbar Province of Iraq. Having “cut my teeth” in the United States Marine Corps, achieving the rank of Chief Petty Officer and then Chief Warrant Officer in the United States Navy, should indicate to you that I have seen a thousand little puss pockets like you and do not feel bad for one split second if I happen to make the world a better place by removing you from this dimension. When my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to carefully clean, load, and gently stroke the stock of my large caliber assault rifle as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.As soon as you pull into the driveway it is in your best interest to do complete the following steps in exact order; 1. Initiate the current near/far recognition signal and insure it has been acknowledged .2. Exit the vehicle with both hands in plain sight. 3. Wait for the perimeter challenge and respond with the current password. Speak loud enough for me to hear but do not give away our position. This information changes daily at 2100 Zulu time. You should know the challenge/password of the day, where to obtain this information, and having knowledge of Zulu time may save your life. (a visit to my combat operations center is advised)4. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safe and early, then return to your vehicle and depart the area. Note: Any inadvertent driving or loud music may perceive your vehicle to be a threat and threats will be eliminated utilizing heavy machine gun fire.5. There is no need for you to come inside. Your presence will not be required during de-briefing. Let’s hope it goes well for your sake. 6. If you have not heard from me that means things went well or I’m waiting for the right moment to discuss with you your short comings from this mission. Be prepared, when you least expect it,Expect it.7. Oh and by all means, Have a good Time! "
My dad will probably make a few copies or so. xD​

 

...

 

This isn't e-harmony...

 

...

 

I'd possibly read it if your text wasn't blinding.

 

I wouldn't dare even attempt to read that ._.

 

...

 

I called my daddy, and he reminded me of the time my sister brought her first boyfriend home. he had a 30 odd 6 sitting on the table, waiting for him. 8D scared the crap out of him. lol.

 

All Right So I was looking around on the internet and I found this(Not for people with short patience):

"APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_________**********____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH____*/**/****_________

HEIGHT_______*****____ WEIGHT_____*****_______ IQ____122______
GPA____4.0_________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_____*******___________ DRIVERS LICENSE#____*****____________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND
BADGES_______________Life___________________________

HOME ADDRESS________*****____________ ___
CITY/STATE______*****_____ ZIP__
***____

Do you have parents? __x_Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? __x_Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ___17___

If less than your age, explain
____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes _x_No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes _x_No

C. A waterbed? __Yes _x_No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes _x_No

E. A tattoo? __Yes _x_No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring? __Yes _x_No

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)



ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________1 second or more after time to be there____________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
_________don't touch your daughter_____________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
___no sex or i die___________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend
____________***_______________________________________

How often you attend
______alot__________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? ___****_ __ _______

mother? _________****____

pastor? ____*****_________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
_______head_______________________________________________________


B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
_________________any_____________________________________________


C: A woman's place is in the:
____________eyesight of her father__________________________________________________


D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
_____________shoe size_________________________________________________


E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?___________________________ __________________________________ to have a great family

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

____________eyes__________________________________________________

G. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?
____i do not know______________


I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE
AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH,
DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_______The Darkness Grows Within__________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______TDGWM________________________
_________TDGWD_______________________
Mother's Signature/ Father's Signature
_______________________________
________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi State
Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases. (you might watch your back)

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy's Rules for Dating.

Daddy's Rules for Dating
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package,
because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long
as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or
hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear
their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please
don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete
idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose
this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your
pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is the exact time of return you expect to have my daughter safely home.The only word’s I need from you on this subject are: “early†and “sirâ€.


Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date
other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date
no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make
you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a very busy, middle-aged, businessman who really has no interest in your interest. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and a pasture behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for one with a vehicle born improvised explosive device. Do not wear a ball cap sideways or backwards as I may mistake you for an Insurgent. Similar to those I dealt with while serving this great country of ours in the Al Anbar Province of Iraq. Having “cut my teeth†in the United States Marine Corps, achieving the rank of Chief Petty Officer and then Chief Warrant Officer in the United States Navy, should indicate to you that I have seen a thousand little puss pockets like you and do not feel bad for one split second if I happen to make the world a better place by removing you from this dimension. When my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to carefully clean, load, and gently stroke the stock of my large caliber assault rifle as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.As soon as you pull into the driveway it is in your best interest to do complete the following steps in exact order; 1. Initiate the current near/far recognition signal and insure it has been acknowledged .2. Exit the vehicle with both hands in plain sight. 3. Wait for the perimeter challenge and respond with the current password. Speak loud enough for me to hear but do not give away our position. This information changes daily at 2100 Zulu time. You should know the challenge/password of the day, where to obtain this information, and having knowledge of Zulu time may save your life. (a visit to my combat operations center is advised)4. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safe and early, then return to your vehicle and depart the area. Note: Any inadvertent driving or loud music may perceive your vehicle to be a threat and threats will be eliminated utilizing heavy machine gun fire.5. There is no need for you to come inside. Your presence will not be required during de-briefing. Let’s hope it goes well for your sake. 6. If you have not heard from me that means things went well or I’m waiting for the right moment to discuss with you your short comings from this mission. Be prepared, when you least expect it,Expect it.7. Oh and by all means, Have a good Time! "


I do hereby swear to these rules

 

Haha! This is awesome!

 

tfw >.> i was told to come here so yeah...........................hmm........we already know tha many girls dads would aprove of me =3 i'm 5'11" and the rest i dun think we need to reveal here >.>

 

lol... My dad disapproves of everyone so he basically doesn't know that I've had another boyfriend or two. xD
Triggy->I realized that but was too lazy to edit​

 

..................nice..................two...............i bench 185-203 depending on it's meterial.............he dissaproves of big strong men dating his daughter unless there little shortys like i've seen sad realationships with the girl being taller..............

 

Raquaza is a enemi in Super Smash.

 

you know this how?

 

A train goes choo.

 

My parents wouldn't care about who I was dating. P: even if they were a druggie or anything~

 

a monkey goes poot =3

 

You're a daughter?

 

My dad,and my brothers tell me once I have a boyfriend they are going to hunt him down if he hurts me lol
And my brothers tell me they are going to have a shotgun to kill the guy lol