Lately, I've been seeing kids being a lot ruder and a lot of things happening in schools. Now, don't get me wrong, it could just be where I live. But, the more it happens the more I get the feeling that parents aren't being responsible or they are too young to be raising children. Recently, there has also been a lot of school fights and other incidents going on so my question is, Are Adults raising children the wrong way? Or is it just because of all the stress happening in the world?
It could be both. They have a bunch of things to do so they don't pay attention to their children. They are paying attention to their children and that can cause stress. And yeah there have been a lot of school fights and the shootings that have happened just recently too.
Its mostly on how the kids are raised. I was raised fine by my parents, but when they had my brother, things changed because they had to raise a son instead of two daughters. My grandparents babied him and now when he wants something, he'll scream until he gets it Its mostly about raising, but some part of stress should be responsible too
Honestly, I think parents are trying their best to raise their children but not ever parent can be perfect at it. But sometimes it's never the parents' fault because the child sometimes doesn't end up the same way as the mom or dad. They do it themselves.
I see parents who just don't seem to care what their kids do or how they act. Stress on the parents can cause then to make wrong decisions when raising a child. And there really is too much pressure on kids nowadays, the stress can cause them to misbehave when given the chance. IMO it mostly depends on the kid themself, because in the end they makie their own decisions, no one else does.
I think it's a combination of both, though like .Kairi. said it all comes down to the choices the kids themselves make. Parental influence can only go so far.
There's no standard to parenting so in some respects there really can't be a "wrong way", but obviously certain parents are better at it than others.
Most of the ways in which I look at what went wrong in the lives of kids and teenagers who are a mess, it almost always traces back to parents. Not necessarily their parents though. They may have had a perfectly normal and stable upbringing but then the poor parenting of one or more (usually more >_>) of their peers drags them down. A lot of the blame goes to the previous generation, we have been let down.
I don't blame the parents actually, and I don't think that the past generations have let us down either. It is the government that have made things worse, parents can't discipline their children without their being some form of comeback, =\ if parents aren't allowed to enfirce good behaviour or teach when kids have done wrong, then how are the kids meant to be raised? They are allowed to get away with more and more because parents are afraid of the drama that could follow. Schools are't allowed to give punishments, and when even the courts seem to favour the little darlings what is anyone meant to really do? Parents do the best they can, but being a parent in today's society is a lot tougher than some of you are giving credit for. Obviously this isn't the case for ALL families, but then no generation has been perfect at raising EVERY child.
I think that it either maybe bacause the wrong way of the parent's poor parenting or maybe because the media's strong influence to the kids these days or it could be both.
It's kind of a catch 22 thing, the parents are usually both working so much that they aren't home enough to interact with their children when they need the interaction so they use other mediums to try and connect with i.e. video games, television, other friends. I suppose i'm leaning against the parents just because if they are parents, then they should have known going into it that they have a responsibility to their kid to be there for them and the commitment it takes to be a parent, and those not cut out for it...shouldn't...well you know. I blame Michael Jordan's marketing campaign.
I think the problem is that we are caught in a vicious circle. So, I'll go through the whole circle to explain what I mean. There were always bad parents out there, all through history. There are also bad parents in nature too. Some people just are not meant for the job. They are either too aggressive and hostile because of their own lives or they are neglectful and selfish, or they are intimidated very easily and anxious. There have also been people that were trained to raise kids and help out that do a better job. Parents can mess up some things and still be considered good parents. No parent is perfect. However, some are just wrong in what their focuses are. They do not make that child an important being in their family and focus on his/her upbringing or they are obsessed about it. The parents who feel trapped having kids are some of the worst. Next comes the environment the kids are raised in. If the environment around where the kids live socially is a rough area where other parents aren't disciplining children or themselves, these kids and adults have reflections on a child. Children at school are not all 'good' kids. Peer pressure, the desire to fit in etc, and the fact some kids are bullied for being 'different' is a factor in childhood development. Kids can be ostracized for a number of things to include economic situation, smarts in school (you can be picked on for being too smart or too dumb), how athletic you are, if you have a physical or mental impediment etc. If there are older kids in the neighborhood doing wrong things and parents don't teach their kids early and in the right way, younger kids are going to grow up and try to fit in these groups naturally. We are social creatures and would want to if we do not know of anything else we can consider better. Next comes the government. It tries to do the 'right' thing by stepping in and having programs such as DCFS, which are meant to stop child abuse. However, they are forbidding parents from doing natural discipline. Some people are vindictive and will call up on others for child abuse and it generally wastes a lot of people's times. Children who are often the worst abused are still at home being beaten on and harmed while children who are debatable as to whether this is happening are getting put in foster homes etc due to family income brackets. Often, poor people are seen as the worst parents and it is simply not true, but they get the worst harassment. Also, because of the interference of lobbyists that can't watch their own kids and want to make everyone else do what they should so they can take it easy, our schools are wussified. Discipline in schools consists of making teachers powerless, stuffing classrooms full of children when there should be less in a room for better focus, and corporations now are putting posters in schools etc and selling soda which hypes up kids. There are so many problems with the education system, it's not funny. No one wants kids expelled because then where do they go? To the streets. These kids will still have influence on others and since everyone knows that, the government tries to enforce they remain in public schools and does not pull these kids out to D homes quick enough, or in some cases, they do so too soon. And then comes the kid. Kids are not born with clean slates. They also, by the time they are 3 have personalities they have developed and they are talking, socializing etc. As they age, they are broadening this personality and taking in that which is around them. Kids, as said earlier, will want to develop into social beings often and some do so nastily. If they find out at three to six that it is acceptable to talk cruelly about others, to beat on others etc, they may just do it. If they do not have much compassion because they are either not shown or just are slow in finding out that what you do to others would hurt you too, they will have a likely chance to be hostile either passive or physically aggressive to get what they want. This is why it is very important for parents to discipline kids -before- they become teenagers and not wait on the more troubled years. Once a kid is around 10 years old, that kid is going to hold onto behaviors more that he/she wants to. The kid also cares a lot more about fashion, what makes them popular and expression. Some kids just are very self-absorbed and will grow up that way. After a certain point, kids -are- responsible for their actions too. If they feel they can get away with bad things, they are going to try. Even if disciplined, some kids push the system and find loopholes because they want to. If they have an avenue to exploit, some kids are just going to and therefore some of the blame should fall on them. We are way too protecting of them thinking they are all innocent and they are not. And we come back to parenting. If parents aren't disciplining and paying attention to their kids in earliest development years, the teen years are going to be hell. However, some parents really are in situations that are very rough. Single parents, parents that both work, etc. The demands on them are very hard but money just isn't as easy to come by as it was for our ancestors. Parents aren't so happy. If parents are exhausted, unhappy etc, they aren't going to be the most awesome parents either. Also, if they cannot even smack the butt of a kid who is doing something wrong, the government is taking away their ability to discipline a child. It is forcing parents to become very passive aggressive and this demeanor does not work on all kids. Children are not all equal when it comes to demeanors and personalities. They do require care for the situations they present and how they respond. Many parents are either worried how they can be affected by laws and too afraid to discipline kids or they just don't give a crap and say someone else will do the stuff because their power is being removed from them. We have become dependent on the government because of some people feeling it is their business to step into everyone else's. In the nature vs nurture scenario, both apply to children. There are some kids that even with the best parenting and education, friends etc, can turn out bad. However, nurture and raising can make someone who might have been 'bad' into a person who is much worse. In the end, I feel the education system needs to go back to 'education' and less on parental ordeals. Parents need to be more responsible and have power to be able to take care of their kids and not have the government separating up families that don't need it and instead looking for kids who are actually abused. Teachers need the power to remove kids from their classes who are disruptive and class sizes need reduced. And if a kid is really bad, the kid needs to be evaluated as well as the family to see what is going on. We protect children a lot more than they should be at times and it is producing lazy, under educated brats more than the system used to. Parents need more -time- with children in their early years of development and should not have to put their kids in day care, where they are exposed to other kids and to teachers who are paid minimum wage. So in closing, everyone is responsible for how kids turn out today since everyone is involved. Parents, education, the government, and the kids. It has become a vicious circle that can make it rough on everyone and the focus often does come to the parents the strongest because anymore if you have kids, you had better be ready for it, take the time needed and have the money to raise them effectively, spending time needed. We are really the only ones who can change things by knowing when we are ready to have kids and making them the best environment possible for them to be raised in. This is why I believe most people automatically blame parents as the main cause of the situation.
its not just were you live... it happens everywhere - parents are getting lazier... parents are getting younger its not right
