Orginization Chaos.

Orginization Chaos Part III: Nappys, Fuse Boxes, and Floor Polish...

Run, run away!
Demyx: Was that a dig at me?
Me: NO! *Shifty eyes*

I thought they were called Aerial Blades? We shall never know. Well, we would know, if someone went on Wikipedia... *Goes on Wikipedia*
I was correct. But still. That is beside the point. The point is, NEW CHAPTER!!! WOO-HOO!!!

Enjoy, me hearties!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xemnas… Who had brought down worlds on a mere whim, who was in charge of one of the most powerful Organizations ever in the Universe…

Was.
Sucking.
His.
Thumb.

Everyone stared dumbfounded at their leader. Larxene took a picture.

“You see, THIS is why I tried to take over the Organization!†Marluxia gestured at the older nobody.
“For once, I don’t blame you…†Vexen mused, who was instantly agreed with by everyone else.
“I want my mommy!†Xemnas looked around. “MOMMY!!†He glomped Marluxia.
“Ohmigod gethimoffme, gethimoffme, GETHIMOFFME!!!†Marluxia screamed, running around like a lunatic, in the dark, with Xemnas clinging hold of him. After everyone had stopped laughing long enough to breathe, they attempted to remove Xemnas. Which involved a lot of this:
“Xemmy, get off him.â€
“No.â€
“Xemnas, get off him.â€
“No.â€
“Superior, could you get off him?â€
“No.â€
“Mwwwfffl.â€
“No.â€
“Superior, I must insist you get off him.â€
“No.â€
“Superior, let him go.â€
“No.â€
“MANSEX!!! STOP HUGGING FLOWA POWA!!!!â€

Twitch.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!!!!!!

“Not got much of a sense of humour, has he?â€
Faint.
“Nice one Axel.â€
“He’s unconscious, he can’t hear you.â€
“I know he’s unconscious, Demyx.â€
“Then why are you…?â€
“Demyx?â€
“Yes?â€
“Shut the hell up. Now.â€
“You’re not very nice.â€
“I’m complicated. Girls dig that.â€
“No we don’t.â€
“Larxene, you don’t count as a female, shut up.â€
“WHAT DID YOU SAY!??!?!?!?!?!?!?â€
“GETHIMOFFME GETHIMOFFME GETHIMOFFME!!!!!!â€
“Get him off you yourself.â€
“Huh?†Marluxia paused to try and de-scramble that message.
“MY MOMMY IS SO NICE TO ME!!!!â€
“GET HIM OFF ME!!!!â€
“SHE’S SO NICE!!!!â€
“GET HIM OFF ME!!!!â€
“No, this is far more entertaining.â€
“I hate you all.â€
“We know.â€
“We guessed when you tried to frame us.â€
“For the bank robbing…â€
“And filling the Queen’s crown with candyfloss.â€
“Oh yea. I almost forgot about that.â€
“HOW THE HELL COULD YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT?!?!!??!?â€
“Dunno. Could someone please get him off me?â€
“Call it payback.â€
“… Oh you are cruel.â€
“We know.â€
“I hope you die painfully.â€
“Agreed.â€
“See ya!â€
“NO!!! WAIT!!! COME BACK!!!!â€
“Mommy? I poo my pants.â€
“… Oh god.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Right. Now what are we going to do?â€
“Go on the internet?†Axel was met with blank stares.
“What?â€
“Nothing. I just want to corrupt Demyx’s child-like mind.â€

POW!!!!

“That guy has a mean left hook.â€
“In case it has escaped your brain, which you have probably set on fire, we still have no electricity.â€
“We have Larxene.â€
“Okay, scratch that last sentence. We have no electricity not used to kill people/nobodies with.â€
“Better.â€
“So then, let’s go fix it!â€
“We are all going to die…†Zexion muttered, watching as 10 members of the Organization ran out of the door, bumping into each other as they went.
“Ouch, that’s my foot!!â€
“Yeah, well you just stepped on MY fo—ARGH!!! LARXENE, YOU JUST KICKED ME IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHAT!!!!â€
“I know.â€
“You are just pure evil, aren’t you?â€
“Don’t talk to her like that!!â€
“Shut up Axel.†Everyone said, before Saïx ran into the door.
“Ow. My nose.â€

Zexion sighed, and walked over to the telephone. He dialled 999.
“Hello, Bob? Yeah, just a heads up. Well, they’re going to fix the castle’s electricity. Yes, you better alert the power company.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marluxia frowned.
“I wonder why the hell we have nappies in The Castle That Never Was? Oh yeah…â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flashback time!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell are we supposed to do with it?â€
“It’s ugly!!â€
“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!â€
“Oh, look, now you made it cry!â€
“Maternal nobody, coming through ladies and gentlemen.â€
“How the hell did you pick up the wrong shopping basket Vexen?â€
“I was being attacked by an elderly lady with a cane!!†He shivered. “She was yelling at me about oysters!!â€
“You should have just frozen her!â€
“She looked like my other’s mother!!â€
“You had a mother?â€

ZING!!

“Way to be frozen Demyx.â€
“WHAT THE HELL ARE WE MEANT TO DO WITH A BABY!?!?!?!?!†Saïx screamed, above the arguing and wailing. (The arguing was Roxas and Vexen, the wailing was the baby.)
“Look after it?â€
“This is an organization, not a bloody day-care centre!!â€
“Close enough.â€
“No, it is not.â€
“’Tis!â€
“’Tisn’t!â€
“’Tis!â€
“’Tisn’t!â€
“SHUT UP!!!! YOU’RE MAKING IT CRY MORE!!!!â€
“Oh, boo-hoo.â€
“Yes, the baby is going ‘boo-hoo.’!â€
“Larxene, can you just shut the HELL UP!??!!?â€

FZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!!!!

“Ow.â€
“Did it hurt?â€
“Yes, being electrocuted with 1,000,000 volts does hurt.â€
“It was actually 2,000,000 volts.â€
“I stand corrected.†Roxas sat upright, and was then puked on by the baby.
“I should have stayed in bed.â€
“It would have been better for all of us.â€
“Son of a b-“
“DON’T FINISH THAT SENTENCE!!!!â€
“Whatever.â€
“I smell like puke.â€
“We know. We can smell it.â€
“Too well.†Zexion sighed holding his nose.
“Shoes.â€
“Oh god, not this again.â€
“Shoes. Oh my god shoes.â€
“SHUT UP DEMYX!!!â€
“THESE SHOES SUCK!!!!â€
“SHUT UP!!!â€
“These shoes are 300 munny. These shoes are 300 munny. These shoes are 300 f***ing munny. LET’S GET THEM!!!!â€
“WHO THE HELL GAVE HIM SUGAR!!!!?!?!?!â€
“Who knows.â€
“I found chocolate in a moogle nest!â€
“…â€
“We really need to stop him doing that.â€
“What, eating chocolate he found in a moogle nest?â€
“Yup.â€
“Why bother?â€
“So true.†Xemnas walked into the room.
“Did someone drug my coffee? Again.â€
“Nope.â€
“Why is there a baby here?â€
“Vexen picked up the wrong shopping basket, and it had the baby inside.â€
“Can we keep it?â€
“No Larxene.â€
“Then what are we going to do with it?â€
“Who is the mother anyway?â€
“Ur…†Vexen scratched the back of his head. “Actually, it’s Tifa Lockheart.â€
“…†Everyone froze, with a look of horror on their faces.
“Vexen. You have doomed this Organization.†Just as Xaldin finished that sentence, the door was smashed down, and an angry mother stood in the doorway.
“Oh s…â€
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O.o Ur… end of flashback?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Good thing she didn’t take the shopping basket.†Marluxia sighed. “I think it was the fact it was screaming that stopped her. Right then.†He held up one of the nappies, and waved it in front of his face. “What the hell am I supposed to do?â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“OW!!!â€
“Are you okay Roxas?â€
“I fell over my keyblade.â€
“You idiot.†Saïx sighed. “Right, who knows anything about electronics?†This was followed by absolute silence.
“My other got a 1c in Key Stage 3 electronics!†Luxord said.
“Isn’t that the lowest mark you can get?†Demyx frowned.
“Yeah, well he got better than you Demyx. You frequently got electrocuted.â€
“But I did better than you! You set the whole of B block on fire!â€
“Good times.†Axel smiled. Roxas backed away.
“Okay then. Luxord, you can handle the electronics.â€
“Why can’t I do it?†Larxene scowled.
“You’d just electrocute everyone here!â€
“Sexist! SEXIST!!!â€
“Shut the hell up!!â€
“No! I will have my voice heard!†Larxene screamed, before Xigbar whacked her over the head with a saucepan.
“Where the hell did you get that from?â€
“Dunno really. It was just out here.â€

“Okay then!†Luxord shoved his head inside the fuse box. “Now… I wonder what happens if I press this…â€

FZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!

“Okay, not that. Maybe this one…â€

FFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!

“Definitely not that one. What wires should I use?â€
“Try the green one.â€
“Can’t find it.â€
“Why?â€
“BECAUSE IT’S DARK YOU DUMBO!!!!â€
“Oh, right.â€
“Just randomly press stuff.â€
“Gotcha.â€

FFFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

“Nope.â€

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

“Nada.â€

BBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!

“Ow.â€
“What?â€
“I just got an electric shock off this door.â€
“How did that happen?â€
“I have no idea.†Zexion was startled to hear no sarcasm in their voices. Xigbar and Luxord genially had no idea how Luxord had got an electric shock.
“It hurt.â€
“Yeah, well can you get on with fixing it?â€
“Okay, okay!†Luxord hit the fuse box.

ZZZZZZZZZZIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

“I think that wasn’t the right one.â€
“Jeez, you think so Einstein?â€
“HEY GUYS!!!!!â€
“YAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!†Everyone screamed, and glared at Marluxia, who had his head sticking out of the 3rd floor window.
“How do you use one of these?â€
“One of what?†Vexen yelled back. Marluxia threw the nappy in his face.
“Get… This… Off… Me… Now.†Vexen snarled, his words slightly muffled by the nappy.
“Why do you need to know how to use a diaper?†Axel bellowed, nearly deafening the rest of the Organization.
“It’s a nappy, not a diaper.â€
“Diaper.â€
“Nappy.â€
“Diaper.â€
“Nappy.â€
“Diaper.â€
“Nappy.â€
“Diaper.â€
“Nappy.â€
“WHO CARES!?!?!?!†Screamed Saïx, going into Berserker mode.
“Fan-bloomin-tastic.â€
“BERSERKER!!!!!!!!â€
“RUN RUN AWAY!!!â€
“GET MOVING!!!â€
“HURRY UP OLD MAN!!!!â€
“I CAN’T SEE ANYTHING WITH THIS NAPPY OVER MY FACE!!!!â€
“DIAPER!!!!â€
“WHATEVER!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marluxia watched as the whole of the Organization ran away from the berserking Saïx.
“Well, this should be entertaining…â€
“What should mummy?â€
“For the last time, I am not your bloody mummy!â€
“What does ‘bloody’ mean?â€
“Grr…â€
“MAAAAAAARRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!†Axel head butted Marluxia, knocking him to the ground.
“Axel, that hurt like a…â€
“Something you can’t say?†Luxord asked from the door.
“Yeah. It hurt like a head butt in the stomach.â€
“Do you know where the knock-out spray is?â€
“Nope.â€
“Damm.†Demyx nibbled his lip. “XIGGY!!!!â€
“STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!â€
“WE CAN’T FIND THE KNOCK OUT SPRAY!!!!â€
“WELL THAT FLIPPIN’ FANTSTIC!!!!!â€
“Really?â€
“Do you have any idea of the concept of sarcasm?â€
“Sar-whatsit?â€
“Kingdom Hearts, led me away!†Xigbar banged his head on the wall. “Ow.â€
“DEARSWEETKINGDOMHEARTSSAÃXISCOMINGTHISWAYANDHEISSTILLBERSERKANDTHEONLYONETHATCANCALMHIMDOWNISMANSEXBUTHEISOUTFORTHECOUNT!!!!!! WE’REALLGOINGTODIE!!!! DIEAHORRIBLECRUELDEATH!!!!!†Roxas screamed this, and then ran out of the room.

“Okay, I think I speak for all of us when I say that that, right there, was in-“
“SSSH!!†Everyone hissed at Axel.
“It sets Man- er, Xemnas off.â€
“What, saying insane?†Lexaeus inquired.
“ASGIOEJVOAIEJOJIWEOPVR KIW3V905UIQ0Iâ€
“HOLY MAMA!!!â€
“HE’S COOOOOOOMMMMMMIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€At this bellow by Xaldin, everyone ran away from the extremely berserker Saïx, taking it in turns to carry a screaming Xemnas.

I swear, they get worse every single non-existent day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ow.â€
“What is it?â€
“I’m sitting on a mop!â€
“So?â€
“It’s digging in.â€
“…?â€
“Hard.â€
“…?â€
“In a sensitive area.â€
“Oh, right.†Everyone was silent for a moment. “You have one of those?â€
“ROXAS!!!!†Marluxia snatched hold of his scythe, and started waving it around.
“OW! MY NOSE!!!â€
“Shush!â€
“First, it nearly gets bitten of by a savage crab…â€
“A what?â€
“Don’t interrupt me mid-rant.â€
“You’ll upset Mansex junior!â€

CHING!!

“Ow.â€
“Are you okay?â€
“Is being hit in the stomach with a Chakram okay? I don’t think so.â€
“B*tchy.â€
“Whatever.â€
“ASOIFJOWIEGVOAEI\OAOPGIOAWHP!!!!!!â€
“WE NEED TO SHUT HIM UP!!!!â€
“It’s okay!â€

SMACK!! you hit him with Larxene?â€
“Uh… ‘Zippos floor polish, for the shiniest floors in the world.’â€
“Right. Why do we even have this crap?â€
“Dunno really.â€
“Great.â€
“Ur guys…†Vexen yelled from the doorway. “Saïx just destroyed the hall of empty melodies… There goes Alter of the Naught.â€
“HE DID WHAT!?!?!?†Everyone turned to see Xemnas looking shocked.
“Oh… My… God…†Xigbar whispered.
“HE’S BACK!!!!â€
“Why the hell am I wearing a nappy?â€
“I told you it was a nappy!â€
“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!!â€
“You have a nervous bladder.â€
“…†Xemnas looked confused. “I do?â€
“Yeah. You peed all over me…â€
“And thought Marly was your mother.â€
“…†Xemnas froze. “I… did.â€

Silence.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Xemnas bashed his head against the wall, which was no longer there, because Saïx destroyed it a second beforehand, meaning he fell over, landing hard on the floor.

“1) I need a phyciatrist. 2) Saïx is no longer second in command. Now it goes in rank order, agreed?†Everyone nodded, except Saïx, who had gone to torture small animals.

“Hey, Axel…â€
“Yeah?â€
“What are we meant to do?â€
“About what?â€
“Our plot.†Roxas hissed.
“… Oh s***.â€

And that, ladies and gentlemen, was how the XemnasXSaïx fanbase began.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, that was one of the most random things I have ever ever ever written. If you didn't understand anything, which is quite likely, just ask. I don't understand half of it...

But that is how life works. Next chapter sees Mansex at therapy, and his final, most spectacular mental breakdown...

Peace, me hearties!

Insanly yours

stripy4:ninjacat:

 

Here's how I think it will go.
Therapist: So, I hear that you have a tendency to go insane?
Xemnas: GHFDSABDFSUGBFKHSJFBJKHSBFHJKBVDFYUKSAVDHGDBFHVBLDSBFJHKSVDFKJHFBC VDHLJSBFHKGSDVBFVKHJBFNKJNBCFVGJKHSAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHKLJDBFHLJKSANDSLHBNKJBJLNKMBHN HKAHBHJABLBKJBKHBLBLKJBN BKHJB:OOOOOOOOOOJAKHBAKSJNKLNASKHBKLSAKJH!
Therapist: Okay then.

Anyway, great chapter! :D

 

Win =D

These Rock! Seriously!

Good thing they didnt keep the baby! god help the poor thing if they had!

 

Thank you!

*Shifty eyes* Um... That is actually how it goes, XD

Yeah, poor thing. Although, if it were me, I'd think it was awsome! But I digress.

So, here it is. The final part of the prolouge. Isn't it awsome!? I mean, wait, hang on... What do I mean? Anyway, HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY!!!! (Yes, I am Irish)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Right, now there is no need to panic. I am just going to hypnotise you.â€
“Shut the hell up VIII.†Xemnas snarled, waving an Aerial Blade around.
“I am just trying to prepare you for your visit to the phyciatrist.â€
“Do you understand the meaning of ‘shut the hell up’?â€
“Not completely.â€
“Grr…†Xemnas threw him the dirtiest look ever. Dirty than that time on of the girls at school gave me a dirty look when she was covered in mud. But I digress.
“Okay, okay, I’m going!†Axel set the door on fire as he left. Xemnas banged his head on the wall a few times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marluxia threw yet another black cloak in Demyx’s face.
“Will you stop that Marly?â€
“No.†He pulled out another one, and threw it in Demyx’s face.
“What are you looking for?â€
“My funeral cloak.â€
“Your WHAT?!?!â€
“F-u-n-e-r-a-l c-l-o-a-k.â€
“You have a different cloak for funerals?â€
“Don’t you? Ah, here it is!†Marluxia pulled out a cloak…
“That looks exactly the same as the others…â€
“Oh well. It is the MEANING behind it that counts!â€
“There’s a meaning? And why are you looking for a funeral cloak?â€
“Because we have to bury the crab!â€
“Crab?â€
“Yes. The crab.â€
“What crab?â€
“The crab that nearly tore off Axel’s nose.â€
“Ah, good time—YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!†Demyx flung himself onto the floor, as a Chakram flew past his head.
“Finish that sentence and D-I-E! Got it memorised?â€
“No.â€
“Why in the name of all that’s Kingdom Hearts related, are we having a funeral for a homicidal crab?â€
“You’re a nobody, so it can’t be homicidal.â€
“Fine. Why in the name of all that’s Kingdom Hearts related, are we having a funeral for a nobodicidal crab?â€
“Is that even a word?â€
“I think it’s pretty obvious it isn’t!†Axel sniffed, and marched off.
“Talk about male PMS. Demyx, stop hugging the carpet.â€
“Screw you.â€
“Or you can talk to Mr Scythe.â€
“See last answer.â€
“Which still has a ton of electricity flowing through it from last night.â€
“I’m out of here, see ya!†Demyx ran out of the room.
“Gold.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay, now then, Mr… Mansex.â€
“I BEG YOUR PARDON!!!!?â€
“That is what it says on your form.†The phyciatrist, Abigail Wesley, showed him the form.
“Bugger. That is the last time I trust Xigbar with paperwork.â€
“Well then, what is your name?â€
“Xemnas.â€
“I see. Well, it says here, you have an obsession with singing the ‘Oh my God shoes’ song…â€
“Actually that’s Demyx.â€
“Well, it says here you have twelve roommates. Could you describe them to me?â€
“Uh…†Xemnas paused. “With or without the associated swearing?â€
“Whichever you feel is most effective.â€

“With the swearing then. Okay, Xigbar is older than me, and is going through a mid-life crisis. If you tell him this, he shoots you.
Then there’s Xaldin. He does tend to yell a lot, and it tends to deafen me a lot.
Vexen has no life, unless it has to do with test tubes.
Lexaeus is a ******ed rock head.
Zexion has a lot more sense then he appears to have, but keeps on getting blackmailed.
Saïx is sane, when he is not in berserker mode. He is really uptight.
Axel sets things on fire every other day.
The days Axel doesn’t set something on fire, Demyx floods several rooms.
Luxord keeps betting everyone out of their munny.
Marluxia keeps slashing people and getting drunk.
Larxene is a sadistic b*tch.â€
And Roxas is just…. There. He doesn’t really do that much.â€

“I see.†She made a note. “And I hear you have a tendency to go insane?â€
“OWE UT9VO8 U3402U6 B709Q38GTIQ2 VJK PWKQ!!!!!!!!!â€
“Uhh… Security please?â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xigbar was bored. So he decided to hang upside down. And leap on random passing nobodies.

Target one:
The schemer.

“YAH!â€
“AH!†Zexion fell over under the freeshooters weight.
“Xigbar… Off… Now.â€
“No. How are you Zexy?â€
“Off. Or. You. Will. Die.â€
“Again, no.â€

SMASH!!!!!!!

“OW!!!†Xigbar held his nose, as Zexion stood up, and walked away.

“OH BOY!! BARNEY’S ON FIRE!!!!!!†Axel ran along the corridor, singing the song very loudly, and badly, as Demyx ran after him.
“HI XIGGY!!!! BARNEY’S ON FIRE!!!! THIS IS OUR GREATEST DESIRE!!!!!†Axel bellowed, merrily setting him on fire.
“Oh, sorry Xiggy!†Demyx threw water over him. “Axel wants to set Barney the Dinosaur on fire; I think I better stop him…†He ran after Axel.
“Okay…†Xigbar watched. “I hope Axel succeeds… He’ll be doing the worlds a great service.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Marluxia, this is ridiculous.â€
“Just because you have no respect for other creatures, doesn’t mean I haven’t.â€
“Yeah, but come on! A funeral for a crab?â€
“Everyone in the Organization is welcome.â€
“WHO WOULD WANT TO GO!!?!?!?!?â€
“I’d go.â€
“But you are a freak.â€

SLASH!!!!

“Ow. My face is bleeding.â€
“You’ll want to get that checked out.â€
“Oh, jeez, you think so?†Luxord stormed out of the room.
“STUPID!!!â€
“LOSER!!!!â€
“AXEL AND DEMYX ARE ON T.V.!!!!!†Larxene yelled. The whole of the Organization poured into the T.V. room.

“We are here at studio 12, where a mysterious man has set Barney the Dinosaur on fire.†The news presenter moved out of the screen, to reveal Axel throwing his Chakrams around the room with gay (happy) abandon. Meanwhile, Demyx was yelling at him to stop.

“BURN BARNEY BURN!!!!â€
“AXEL!!!â€
“I’M BUSY!!!â€
“I THINK THEY’RE SENDING IN AN S.W.A.T. TEAM!!!!â€
“Oh sh… Really?â€
“Yeah!†As Demyx yelled this, a group of men in blue uniforms entered the room.
“Bugger.â€
“RUN RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!â€
“FOR ONCE I AGREE!!!!!!†Axel and Demyx ran out of the room, closely followed by the S.W.A.T. Team.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xemnas and his Phyciatrist were watching this scene on the T.V.
“Kingdom Hearts in a cup.†Xemnas held his head in his hands.
“So, they were Axel and Demyx?â€
“Yes. They are idiots.†Xemnas curled up into a ball. “I wonder where Roxas was…â€

“In other news, a young boy was running through the building smashing in random doors.â€

“Ah, there he is.†Xemnas paused. “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Running from a S.W.A.T. team, running from a S.W.A.T. team, running from a S.W.A.T. team…â€
“Demyx, stop singing that bloody song already.â€
“Gimme a ‘N’, gimme a ‘O’! Whaddya spell? NO!!!â€
“Shut up.â€
“Gimme a—“
“SHUT UP!â€
“’N’-“
“SHUT UP!â€
“Gimme a-“
“SHUT UP!â€
“’O’-“
“SHUT UP!â€
“Whaddya-“
“SHUT UP!â€
“Spell?â€
“SHUT UP!â€
“NO!!!â€
“SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!†Axel kicked Demyx, and grabbed Roxas’ arm.
“Ow, that hurts!â€
“S.W.A.T. TEAM! ROLL OUT!!!â€
“Dear sweet Kingdom Hearts…†Axel, Roxas and Demyx cursed under their breath, and stepped up the pace.
“Why don’t we just portal away?†Roxas asked. There was an awkward silence.
“I knew that. I was just wondering who else would think of that.†Before anyone could disagree, Axel summoned a portal, and the trio ran through it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Just to announce, I am having a funeral for the crab tonight, and I would appreciate it if you all came.â€
“Screw you Marly.â€
“Okay. Let me rephrase that. If you don’t come I will personally GUT YOU ALL TO NON NON-EXSISTANCE!!!!!â€
“Okay, fine!†Vexen rolled his eyes. “We’ll come, you emotionally ******ed nutter.â€
“Jee, thanks for that.†Marluxia stormed out of the room, and began to create a tombstone for the crab. He paused for a moment.

“DOES ANYONE HAVE A NAME FOR THE CRAB?????â€
“Crabby wabby?â€
“Hmm… That actually suits him…â€
“I AM NOT CALLING THE CRAB ‘CRABBY WABBY’!â€
“HAVE YOU GOT A BETTER NAME?â€
“Uh… probably not.â€
“Well then, HA!â€
“Sadistic cow.â€
“SHE RA! SHE RA!!!â€
“WHAT THE HELL!!?!?!?â€
“I’m thinking of feminist chants.†Larxene explained.
“Does ‘SHE RA!!’ Count as one?â€
“Possibly.â€
“That’s not very feminist.â€
“Whatever.â€
“THERE WAS A S.W.A.T. TEAM RIGHT THERE!!!! AND THEY HAD PEPPER SPRAY!!!! PEPPER SPRAY!!!â€
“I know, I stole some from them.†Axel grinned, and waved the can of pepper spray around.
“RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!!†Roxas and Demyx ran away from the pyro, screaming warnings at the top of their voices.
“WHAT’S WRONG!!?!?!? AND WHY ARE WE YELLING!?!?!?!?â€
“AXEL HAS PEPPER SPRAY!!!!!â€

A pause.

“What would happen if I set the pepper spray on fire?â€
“RRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
“CODE RED!!! CODE RED!!!!â€
“We have a code red?â€
“Last time I checked.â€
“Ah.â€
“Shall we resume running around in a circle?â€
“Hell yeah!â€

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Now then, if you have another breakdown I recommend a holiday.â€
“Okay.â€
“In the meantime, I recommend no coffee, alcohol or stress.â€
“Can I point out that I have described my, uh, ‘roommates’ to you.â€
“Fair enough. Try to avoid them.â€
“Yeah, they were just on the news, setting fire to a purple dinosaur. That’s not going to work.â€
“Okay, fair enough. Then, um… I don’t have a clue. Just try, okay?â€
“Hmph. Yeah, riiiiiiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhht!â€
“NO NEED TO BE SARKY!!!†Abigail snapped. Xemnas stared at her. “Sorry, everyone needs to let of steam now and then.â€

“Great.†Xemnas muttered, storming out of the phyciatrist’s office. “I get the phyciatrist with the mental problem. Just fan-bloody-tastic.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Remind me why we are doing this?†Roxas hissed.
“Because Marly has a scythe, and trust me, he knows how to use it.†Xaldin hissed in reply.
“What does that mean?â€
“Ever wondered where Xigbar got those scars from?â€
“… Oh, you are joshing me.â€
“Nope.â€
“Gulp.†Roxas slipped over to Axel and Demyx, who was trying to persuade the pyro not to set the corpse on fire.

“I’d just be… cremating it.â€
“Marluxia doesn’t want it cremated.â€
“Well, he’s an idiot!â€
“Yeah, I agree with you there, but you still shouldn’t set it on fire.â€
“Try and stop me.â€

SPLASH!!!!!!

“HI ROXAS!!!†Demyx screamed as he ran past.
“DEMYX!!!!! GET BACK HERE YOU SON OF A B*TCH!!!!!â€
“OHMYGODI’MGOINGTOBEKILLEDWITHACHAKRAM!!!!â€
“RUN DEMYS RUN!!!â€
“HEEEEEEEEEREEEE’S AXEL!!!!â€
“STOP NICKING LINES OUT OF FILMS!!!â€
“NO WAY!!!! I LOVE THE SHINING!!!!!â€
“Why did I have a feeling you would?â€
“REDRUM!!! REDRUM!!!!â€
“WHERE?!?!?!?â€
“SHUT THE HELL UP LUXORD!!!!â€

“SILENCE ALL OF YOU OR I WILL!! £â€%$£! ^$!%$£^%$&%^!†(Marluxia’s threat has been censored for young, innocent minds.)
“Ai.†Everyone shuddered at Marluxia’s threat, which had left scarring mental images on the younger/more innocent members.
“Right, let’s get started!â€
“We don’t have a vicar.â€
“Goddammit!â€
“You shouldn’t swear in a church.â€
“We aren’t in a church.â€
“Vexen, you’re the vicar.â€
“WHY ME!!?!?!?â€
“’Cause I said so, and I hate you. SO!†Marluxia grabbed a box of Kleenex, (Of course, that is the brand of tissues that the Organization uses. It’s got an ‘X’ in it, so it’s bound to be.) and started crying.
“Whoa. It’s incredible that he can turn on the waterworks like that.â€
“I know. Are we sure Demyx doesn’t help him?â€
“Positive.â€
“CAN WE GET ON?!?!?!â€
“Sorry.â€

“Ahem. We are gathered here today, to say farewell to… Ur…â€
“What is it now?â€
“I don’t know what I’m meant to call it.â€
“Huh?â€
“Well, it’s not a friend, or a comrade, or a nobody, or a human being, or a…â€
“Okay, okay, we get the picture!†Zexion sighed. He didn’t have a lot of time for Vexen.
“Call it a… acquaintance.†Saïx suggested.
“Okee-dokee. We are here today, to say farewell to our acquaintance, crabby-wabby.â€
“BWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!â€
“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!†Marluxia waved his scythe around between sobs. “He was –HIC!- The closest thing I ever had to a friend! –HIC!-“
Everyone stared at him.
“Right. Anyway, he was a brave crab. Either that or an idiot. I mean, only one of those two try to snap Axel’s nose off.â€
“Amen brother!â€

A pause.

SLAP!!

“Don’t ever do that again Luxord.â€
“Sorry.â€
“Anyway, so it happened that Crabby-Wabby was nost cruelly killed by Demyx-“
“BOO!â€
“Who was armed with a shell and a clock. RIP Crabby-Wabby.†Vexen sighed. “May the souls of the faithfully departed rest in peace, can I go now?â€
“Not until he’s buried.†Marluxia scowled. Larxene made a rude gesture. “DO NOT DESECRATE HIS GRAVE!!!!!â€
“What the…â€
“Can we have a funeral procession?†Asked Marluxia. Roxas and Demyx (who had escaped Axels’ wrath by hitting him on the head with his sitar repeatedly.) nodded solemnly, and dragged out the sled, on which the coffin (see: shoebox) was laid, and the solemn procession began.

Xemnas passed the procession and stared.

“What fresh hell?â€
“We’re having a funeral procession for crabby-wabby.†Xigbar hissed as they passed.
“For who?â€
“Some random crab Demyx killed with a clock and a shell.â€
“And weâre having a funeral for it?â€
“Yep.†Xemnas slowly absorbed this information, and reacted in a way, fitting to the occasion.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

“Wow, I’ve never seen anyone’s face go as purple as that!â€

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

“He’s still going.â€

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

Thud!

“Oh, look, he’s fainted!â€

The beginning…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ende! Hm... Now what will I do?

*Goes to work on the orginal*

I think that has got to be one of the longest screams in history. I am very proud of that!

Ciao, me hearties!

Insanly yours,
stripy4:ninjacat:

 

Marluxia's STILL going on about that crab? He really is a nature freak. *Runs away from Marluxia's Razorleaf attack*

 

Chapter XI: New faces, propety law, and Legoland

Marluxia: I'll show you nature freak!!! *Waves scythe around*
Roxas: Axel, please stop kicking me!
Axel: NEVA NEVA!!!

YAY! IRELAND!!

Thank ye. Thank ye.

Well, I was bored, so I decided to bring in the 14th member. Don't worry, she/he will be just adding to the insanity. I swear, it won't be one of those awful ones where it's all about the OC.

So here it is: The next part of the orginal!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zexion sighed.
“This is such a bad idea…â€
“What is?†Vexen frowned, looking totally confused.
“Nothing. Just… Oh, never mind.†Zexion riffled through the paperwork he had laid out in front of him.
“XAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!†Everyone turned to see a short blonde run through the door, and run into a table. “Ow. Where’s Xaldin? It’s an emergency!â€
“He’s on a mission. What is it?â€
“Who knows the most about property law?â€
“Uh…†Everyone stared at Roxas.
“It’s a perfectly simple question!â€
“Why…?â€
“You don’t want to know.â€
“Well… Saïx. But why…?â€
“Saïx, thank you!†Roxas sprinted out of the door.
“I will never understand that boy.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“SAIX!!†Roxas screamed the berserker’s name, nearly deafening everything in the castle.
“What is it number XIII?â€
“What do you know about property law?†Saïx raised an eyebrow, but managed to keep a calm face.
“Why do you need to know?â€
“I need to know if it’s valid if you’re drunk.â€
“… I beg your pardon?â€
“If a hypothetical person, er, nobody, was drunk and put say, ooooh… A castle that never was on sale, would it be valid?â€
“What site did Axel put it on?†Roxas sighed.

Damm, I thought I tricked him!
No, you didn’t. You didn’t even trick me.
Or me.
Go away Riku!
Or me.
Great, now Kairi’s here. Why don’t we just invite all your idiot friends around?
Really? Should I get Wakka?
NO!!!
I’ll run and get him now!
NO!!!!
I’ll get Selphie!
And I’ll get Tidus!!
I hate you all soooooo much!

“Thirteen?â€
“Huh? Oh, sorry. Yeah, I think he put it on Ebay.â€
“I see. Why the hell did he put it on Ebay?â€
“Have you ever heard the song: Ebay, by Weird Al Yankovich?â€
“No.â€
“Well, Axel is a massive fan of Weird Al, so he decided if it was good enough for him to sing about it, it was good enough to sell the castle on.â€
“… You know, I will never understand VIII, as long as I non-exist.â€
“Well, is it valid or not?â€
“I’ll have to look that up.â€
“Grr…†Roxas scowled, as Saïx walked away. “GIT!!!!â€
“What did you call me?â€
“Bugger…â€
“RAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demyx walked into the hall of empty melodies, and fell over Axel.
“Ow.â€
“BLOODY HELL DEMYX!!! HIC!!! YOU NEED TO WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!!!!â€
“Are you drunk?â€
“No. I am hammered. H-A-M-M-E-R-E-D. Got it Memo- Meris- got it?â€
“Ur… Yeah. You really need to stop that.â€
“Stop what?â€
“Getting hammered.â€
“Ah.†Axel sat down. “Fair enough. So, how’s your head?â€
“Sore. Thanks to you chopping the gate off with a circular saw. And now, because of that, I’m in debt!â€
“Yeah, well, I’m getting you out of that.â€
“Really? How?â€
“You know Ebay?â€
“Yea.â€
“Well, I put the castle for sale on it!â€

Now, there is only ONE WAY to describe Demyx’s face.

And here it is:

O.O
O.o
o.O

“WHY THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO THAT YOU BAKA!!!!?!?!?!?â€
“I thought you’d be pleased. HIC!!!â€
“Yeah, but haven’t you thought that Xaldin is GOING TO FREAK!!?!?!?â€
“… Oh s***.†Axel face palmed. “I am total dead meat.â€
“Axel, you’re so dead, I’m surprised I’m still talking to you.â€
“Why is Axel dead?†Luxord wandered down the stairs. “And when are you going to pay me my munny?â€
“1) none of your business. 2) You’ll find out when I pay you. Now GO THE HELL AWAY!!!!†Demyx yelled (He has large vocal cords) spraying Luxord with water for effect.
“Hmph!†Luxord waved his hand, and walked away.

“So… Now… Axel… Huh…? What’s… happened… to… our… voices…?â€
“I… think… Luxord… slowed… down… time… again…â€
“The… git…â€
“How… true…â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roxas re-tied the bandage. It fell off. So he re-tied it. And it fell off again.
“OH MY GOD!!! STAY ON YOU STUPID BANDAGE!!!!â€
“ROXAS!!! STOP INSULTING THE BANDAGE!!!†Vexen yelled. He is very protective of his bandages.
“I’LL INSULT WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE INSULTING!!!!†Roxas yelled back, before chopping up the bandage in a fit of rage.

Hey Roxas! How you feelin’ ya?
Oh dear sweet Kingdom Hearts.
Have you shared a papou fruit with Naminé yet?
…The hell?

Roxas banged his head on the wall, while yelling:
“OUT! OUT!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!†The rest of the gathered Organization, and Cloud, who had decided to hide in the Castle while Tifa was looking for him, watched.
“Why is he doing that?â€
“He hears voices in his head.â€
“And sometimes they annoy him.â€
“Actually, they annoy me all the time.†Roxas explained, pausing from banging his head on the wall.
“I stand corrected.â€

Having fun Roxas?
Sora, go away, before I freaking make you!!
Okay, I’ll go… But the AkuRoku fangirls stay.
WHAT!?!?!?!?
IT’S ROXIE CHAN!!!
You don’t really like Naminé, do you?
No, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!
I KNEW IT!!! HE REALLY LIKES AXEL!!!

“KINGDOM HEARTS, TAKE ME NOW!!!!†Roxas screamed, and smashed his head so hard on the wall, he knocked himself unconscious.
“… The hell?†Lexaeus summarised.

“Now, the person unconscious on the floor is Number XIII, also known as Roxas. The person who just said ‘… The hell?’ is Lexaeus, be honrothe guy on the ceiling is Xigbar, and the other dreadlocked person is Vexen. The guy with the emo haircut is Zexion, and what the hell is Cloud Strife doing here?â€
“Hiding.†Cloud muttered.
“Yeah, well he’s hiding, the one who is trying to get Xigbar of the ceiling is Vexen, the blue haired guy reading a book on property law is Saïx, and I don’t know where anyone else is. Have you got that, Number XIV?â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let me explain something about Axel. When he gets drunk, one of three things happens:

1) He becomes obsessed with doing Ninja moves, and makes crazy plots.
2) He falls asleep.
3) He goes on a fire-spreading spree.

Today, he had decided to do number 3.

“BURN TABLE BURN!!!!â€
“STOP IT AXEL!!!â€
“BURNY BURNY HOT HOT BURNY!!!!â€
“YOU’RE GOING TO SET THE WHOLE CASTLE ON FIRE!!!!!â€
“BURN CEILING BURN!!!!â€
“ARRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!†Demyx yelled, quickly trying to put the ceiling out. Axel then set himself on fire, which Demyx managed to put out.
“WHAT ELSE CAN I BURN!!!?!?!?!â€
“Let’s…†Demyx nibbled his lip. He needed to get Axel out of the castle. Now, most people think Demyx is stupid. Well, one, do you have any idea how complicated a sitar is? Look it up on Wikipedia. I think Demyx is just a bit absent-minded. And hyper. But he is quite intelligent, so he came up with a good idea.
“Let’s go to LegoLand!!!â€
“YAY!!! BURN LEGOLAND BURN!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roxie kins!
Roxas!!
Oh, kingdom hearts, why can’t I die?
So you really like Axel?
GO AWAY BEFORE I HUNT YOU DOWN AND DELETE ALL YOUR YAOI FAN-ART!!!!
EEK!!
I might do that anyway.

“Is he awake?â€
“How the bloody hell am I supposed to know?â€
“ROXAS GET THE HELL UP!!!!â€
“I’M AWAKE, I’M AWAKE!!!!†Roxas yelled, sitting upright, and punching Luxord in one fluent movement.
“OUCH!!!!†Roxas frowned, when he saw a teenage girl with brown hair and blue eyes frowning at him.
“… The hell?â€
“This is our new member, Alexia.â€
“Does that mean I’m not the least important?â€
“Uh… I guess so.â€
“YES!!!!!†Roxas ran around the place yelling. Alexia (I love that name!) watched him.
“Is he insane?â€
“Nearly everyone is.â€
“Ah.†Alexia watched for a little longer.
“ROXAS!!!†Yelled Xaldin, nearly deafening everyone there.
“WHAT!!!!?â€
“YOU HAVE TO SHOW HER AROUND!!!!â€
“Oh, right.†Roxas nodded,â€This way.†And he ran out of the door, followed by the new member.
“I cannot believe you brought a new member into the Organization when the two highest members are having nervous breakdowns, and there’s a bet you breakdown before Mansex comes back.†Zexion sighed. “And I can’t believe you described my haircut as Emo!!â€
“Well it is!â€
“You’ll pay for that Xaldin!â€
Yuh-oh…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ROXAS!!!†Roxas turned around, and was run over by a drunk Axel. “HOW ARE YA!!!?â€
“Uh, fine thanks.†Roxas winced. “Can you stop standing on me?â€
“Juh? Oh, sorry.†Axel stepped off Roxas. Axel was then run over by Demyx.
“Are you ready yet?â€
“Ready for what?†Alexia asked, making Demyx and Axel notice her for the first time.
“… The hell?â€
“Everyone seems to be saying that a lot today.†She noted.
“Well, what else are we supposed to say?â€
“This is the new member, what’s your name again?â€
“Alexia.â€
“Yeah, that’s Alexia, and it means I AM NO LONGER THE LEAST IMPORTANT MEMBER!!!!â€
“Woo-hoo!!†Demyx and Axel yelled.
“So, do you want to come with us?â€
“Come with you where?†Roxas asked.

A drunk Axel and a hyper Demyx. Even though this is normal, it doesn’t mean it’s good…

“We’re going to go burn down Lego Land!!â€

I take that back.

“Sure!†Roxas gave an evil grin. “I hate Lego land!â€
“You come too, new kid!†And before anyone else could say anything, Axel opened a dark portal, and shovelled the other three members through a portal.

They landed in a theme park, with bright buildings, and several kids waving crappy souvenirs around.

“We have entered the land of evil…â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xigbar had been locked into a cage.
“Why is the rum gone?â€
“Shut up.†Cloud muttered, still hiding under a table, dabbing white spirit onto the still pink patches. “What is it with women and pink?â€
“We have a woman here, if you want to ask her.â€
“Larxene is a woman?†Lexaeus was then electrocuted.
“Dammit Larxene, did you bug all the rooms again?â€
“Yup.†Larxene voice crackled over some loudspeakers she had installed.
“I’ll pass.†Cloud muttered.
“Well, I’ll be jiggered.†Saïx muttered.
“What?â€
“It isn’t valid if you’re drunk…â€
“What isn’t valid?†Xaldin scowled.
“Uh… Nothing. I’d better find XIII, see you!†Saïx quickly dark portalled away.
“Weird.â€
“Mmm…†Cloud nodded.

BOOM!!!

“Sorry, that was me.†Vexen emerged from the lab, which was covered in soot and holding a test tube of a suspicious looking grey liquid.
“What the…?â€
“It is supposed to be fuchsia! FUCHSIA GODDAMMIT!!!!†Vexen stormed back into the lab.

That was a classic example of a WTF moment.

“You know what?â€
“What?â€
“I think VEXEN will have a mental breakdown before Mansex comes back.â€
“Who wants to make a bet on that?†Luxord piped in from the doorway.
“Me!†Yelled everyone at the same time, including Larxene over the loud-speaker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Axel was running around in a circle, falling over a few times.
“WHAT SHOULD WE BURN DOWN FIRST?!?!?!?â€
“To the Lego cars!!â€
“WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!†Axel ran in the direction of the cars, followed by Demyx.
“I doubt whether or not this is legal…†Alexia muttered.
“No doubts. Definitely illegal. ‘Kay?â€
“Sure!†Alexia and Roxas ran after the pyro and whatever you would call Demyx…

And ran straight into Saïx.

“Ur… Hi Saïx.†Roxas whispered, wincing as he remembered the various beatings he had go
“Hello!†Alexia smiled. “What the hell happened to your face?â€

Pause.
Twitch.

POW!!!

Saïx slammed the girl on the head with his claymore.
“HEY!!†She scowled, and kicked Saïx.

In a place of a sensitive nature.

“OOOF!!†Saïx doubled up, and fell on the floor.
“DON’T HIT ME WITH YOUR STUPID CLAYMORE!!!!â€
“Stuck up little…â€
“Excuse me?â€
“Er… Nothing.†Saïx stuttered.

Oh… My… God… Saïx is scared of a fifteen year old girl! Roxas grinned. Oh, the blackmail oppertunities...

“I did the research, XIII, and it isn’t valid.â€
“Oh, so we’re not going to be kicked out of the castle.â€
“Nope.†Saïx shook his head. “Are those cars meant to be on fire?â€
“No. Yes. I dunno.â€
“Right.†Saïx nodded, trying to look in control. He was failing miserably, especially since Alexia was making bunny ears above his head.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!†A scream erupted. “GUYS!! COME QUICK!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saix got OWNED!!! I've been wanting to do that for ages! But anywho.
Does anyone have ideas for Alexia's title, power, or wepon? If there's a really good one, I'll use it in the story!

Insanly yours.
Stripy4 :ninjacat:

 

xDDDDDDDD

lol, she should have samurai swords for weapons. then she could really own saix.

 

A GIANT HAMMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =D
or mabey some shurikins, cause the she could be 'The double edged shurikin'
lolz

 

Ooh! Her title should be, "The Intimidating Youth", her power should be control over youth(good combo with Luxord), and her weapon(s) should be either a whip whose form she can change at will, or a double sided scythe(See Attachment). Just open it in WinRAR or something and look at the file.

 

XD
Great job.
Hmm... I'm not good with titles, weapons or powers for an Organization member but I'll try to say something... power, something related with sound. Weapon... a mirror, a whip or a flute (lol). As for the title... "The Silence breaker" or "Noise Spirit. (They sound kinda strange...). Those are some crazy ideas I came up with.

 

i like that idea, and 'The Silence Breaker' sounds kool =D

 

The Kinetic Dancer~
Uses telekenisis for a power and flags or ribbons for a weapon.
I know it doesn't sound very deadly, but trust me,
when you accidently get smacked in the head with one, it hurts!

Idea copyright to me~
But I give you permission to use it in your story if you want~​

 

Nice idea!

Nice ideas!

Nice idea!

Nice idea!

Nice idea!

Ooooooh! They're all really good ideas... I think I shall put them in a hat, and pick one at random, because I love them all!

(Puts them in a hat)

Drumroll, please! (Drumroll) And the winner is...

~Amber~ with ribbons! (Idea copyright to her) I love that idea! (And yes, I was once hit on the nose with a flag, so I feel your pain) But LOVE all the other ideas too... That gives me an idea... ('Tis a secret)

No new chapter. Got writer's block. (Again) But, my R.E. project is done, and it's nearly the Easter holidays, so I shall be able to write more. I hope. As long as I can get rid of the writers block. But I will... eventually.

 

Chapter XII: Legoland, cardbord, and elves.

Thank you all for the patience!!!

I HAVE FOUND THE CURE FOR WRITERS BLOCK!!!!

School holidays! :)

And it is here! I reserched Lego Land for this... And then ignored all of the said reserch. I am a bad person.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saïx, Roxas and Alexia turned to see Axel running towards them.
“It’s a disaster! An unmitigated disaster! WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!!â€
“What the hell do you mean Number VIII?â€
“Well, you see… Look I tried to stop him, really, I did…â€
“Axel, what the hell are you going on about?†Roxas asked, getting straight to the point.
“Well… Demyx kinda… Ate a large bunch of candyfloss.â€

Silence.

“Is that bad?†Alexia inquired.
“IS THAT BAD!?!?!? IS THAT BLOODY BAD!?!?!?!? IT’S LIKE THE END OF THE WORLD!?!?!?!?!?†Saïx, Roxas and Axel all screamed, causing some odd looks from passer bys.
“Just asking…†She shrugged. “Demyx was the other one who came here, right?â€
“Yes.â€
“The one who’s riding around in a push-chair that’s on fire?â€
“Huh?†The three older nobodies turned to see that Demyx was, indeed, riding around in a pushchair that was on fire.
“Oh sweet Kingdom Hearts…†Saïx face-palmed. “What else could go wrong?â€
“I’m a fairy!!†Demyx lunged at Saïx, and glomped him.
“Get. Off. Now.†Saïx hissed. “Stop laughing, VIII, XIII and XIV.â€
“No way!†Axel shook his head, still laughing.
“I hate you all.†Saïx hissed. He wasn’t allowed to berserk in public areas, such as LegoLand. “Someone get him off me.â€
“Uh, Demyx…†Roxas tried to think of something to say.
“CANDYFLOSS!!†Alexia yelled, pointing to a stall selling candyfloss.
“WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!†Demyx let go of Saïx, and charged towards the stall.
“Why did you send him there?†Axel asked. “He’ll only get more hyper.â€
“I know. I just feel like seeing you suffer.†She shrugged, and then ran before anyone could attack her.
“What a prize hag.†Saïx snarled, as Demyx shoved more candyfloss down his throat.
“WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
“HE’S COMING!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xigbar was yelling.
“EVERYTHING IS MADE OUT OF CARDBORD!!!! AND I HAVE DEATH RAYS IN MY EYES!!!! YOU BETTER BELIVE IT!!!!â€
“Shut up, before I… do something you won’t like.†Luxord finished lamely.
“EEK! SOMETHING I DON’T LIKE!!!†Xigbar was actually scared of this rather rubbish threat, and curled up into a ball. “Me frightened.â€
“I’m concerned.†Xaldin sighed.
“Why?â€
“Because, Zexion threatened pay-back, and you know what happens when he threatens pay-back. Remember Marluxia and the Greenhouses?â€
“Oh, yeah.†Everyone (except Cloud) shuddered. “That was a weird day…â€
“When isn’t it a weird day?†Luxord shrugged.
“… That is so true.â€
“CLOUD STRIFE!!!!â€
“Oh s***!†Cloud leapt out from under the table, and sprinted for the other door, closely followed by Tifa.
“I WILL PAINT YOU PINK IF IT’S THE LAST THING I DO!!!!â€
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Cloud jumped out of a window.
“GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE!!†Tifa leapt out of the window too.
“I’ll sort her one of these days.†Scowled Xaldin, glaring at the window like it offended him.
“I am so glad I don’t have a girlfriend/stalker.â€
“Same here.†Lexaeus nodded.
“I thought you fancied Larxene?â€
“WHAT?!!?!??†Larxene’s voice crackled over the loudspeaker, as Lexaeus’ face went bright red.

CRACKLE!!!!
FFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lexaeus decided just not to speak for a few days. At least.

“LEXAEUS AND LARXENE SITTING IN A TREE!!!!â€
“K-I-S-S-I-N-G!!â€

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was going to be one of those days.

Again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay!†Saïx barked. “Why the hell are we here?â€
“Well,†Axel explained, sitting on Demyx’s face. “I felt like setting stuff on fire, so Demyx said we should go to Legoland.â€
“And then Demyx started getting extremely hyper.â€
“SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!â€
“Shut up Demyx.â€
“And then you turned up and told us that putting a house on sale on Ebay when you are drunk isn’t valid.â€
“And things kind of went insane from there.â€
“Right.†Saïx nodded.
“Look mummy, an elf!â€
“Huh?â€
“BWA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!â€
“Grrrrrr…†Saïx scowled at the young kid. “Stupid kids…â€
“You do look like an elf though.â€
“Number VIII, we have been through this, I am not an elf. My parents were not elves. I have no elf blood in my veins. Okay?â€
“Are you sur-“
“YES!!!!!†Saïx screamed. “IS! THAT! O-BLOODY-KAY!!!!?â€
“Nope.†Axel shook his head. “I want a DNA test, and your family tree.â€
“You killed it Axel.†Roxas shook his head. “Shame on you.â€
“No I didn’t.â€
“You did.â€
“I didn’t.â€
“Did.â€
“Didn’t.â€
“DID!â€
“DIDN’T!â€
“DID DID DID!!â€
“DIDN’T DIDN’T DIDN’T!!!â€
“YOU DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDD!!!!!!â€
“I DIDNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN’TTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!â€
“SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU BEFORE I GO BERSERKER ON YOUR BEHINDS!!!!†There was silence for a moment.
“Uh… Where’s Demyx?â€
“… Oh crap.â€
“SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
“SCRAMBLE!!!!â€
“Let’s spilt up! Roxas, you head for the helicopters! Saïx, you head for the Labyrinth! I’ll head for the cars!â€
“My rank says I’m in charge.â€
“My Chakram says I’m in charge.â€
“…â€
“He’s got you there Saïx.†Saïx just glared at Roxas.
“Oh, fine!†The three of them ran away from the hyper, flooding Legoland, nobody. Also know as Demyx.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Xaldin shoved his head around the corner.
“Is it clear?â€
“I’m not even looking out of the door, how am I supposed to know?†Luxord sighed.
“Uh… Good point.†Xaldin tip-toed forward.
“WHERETHEHELLISCLOUD!?!?!?!?!?â€
“YAAAAAAHHH!!!†Xaldin swung his lances wildly, and hit Tifa in the face with them.
“Yuh-oh…â€

SMASH!!!
CRASH!!!
OOF!!!
CLANG!!!!

“You sorted her, did you Xaldin?â€
“Shut. Up.†Xaldin scowled, rubbing his foot. “I am not leaving this basement.â€

BOOM!!!

Everyone paused at the louder than usual explosion from Vexens’ lab.
“On second thoughts.†Everyone ran out of the basement.
“HEY!! WHAT ABOUT ME???†Yelled Xigbar after them.
“Oh, right.†Marluxia ran in, knocked him out, and then ran out again.
“I feel that was the right move.â€
“Very caring of you Marly.â€
“I know.â€
“You do know I’m being sarcastic?â€
“Uh…â€
“Of course he doesn’t! He spends too much time with his non-sarcastic flowers!†Larxene’s voice crackled over the loudspeakers, making everyone wince at the static.
“YOU TAKE THAT BACK LARXENE!!!â€
“Make me.â€
“Okay.†Marluxia sprinted towards Larxene’s room, pulling out his scythe as he did. This caused the destruction of several walls in the building.
“Oh great. They’re going to destroy most of the building, aren’t they?â€
“Well…â€

“YAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!â€
“DIE FLOWA POWA!!!â€
“STOP CALLING ME THAT!!!!â€

“Yes.†Lexeaus nodded.
“And there’s nothing we can do to stop them.â€
“Nothing short of elephant tranquilisers.â€
“Do we have any?â€
“No.â€
“Oh, right.†Xaldin sighed. “Bang goes that idea.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Larxene and Marluxia were not actually fighting. They were just yelling at each other.

“Your mom!â€
“Your mom’s mom!â€
“Your mom’s mom’s granddad!â€
“Your mom’s mom’s granddad’s hamster!â€
“Your mom’s mom’s granddad’s hamster’s SISTER!â€
“Your mom’s mom’s granddad’s hamster’s sister’s AUNTIE!!!â€
“As intellectually challenging as this conversation is…†Larxene and Marluxia turned to see Zexion in the door. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to interrupt.â€
“What for?â€
“A proposition.â€
“What kind of proposition?â€
“Mess up the castle big time. And you get paid.â€
“How much?â€
“2000 munny each.â€
“Hmm…†Larxene and Marluxia pondered this over. “Deal.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saïx walked into the hedge again.
“Damm this place. Why did I have to hide here?â€
Because Axel hates me.
“Damm Axel.†Saïx walked into the hedge again. “Ow. Why the hell does legoland have a fricken maze anyway?†Just then, a random employee popped up.
“Well, we feel that having a maze increases childrens minds, and-“
“Shut up or I will kill you.†He waved a claymore in the persons face to underline that point. “Is there a way out?â€
“We feel that you should find that out for yourself.â€
“I feel if you don’t tell me I will decapitate you.â€
“We feel-“
“Shut up.â€
“But-“
“Shut up.â€
“I-“
“Shut up.â€
“SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃÃXXXXXXXXX!!!!!! RANDOM EMPLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roxas could hear the screams of Saïx, Demyx and the random employee in the car section of the park.
“This is like a freaky game of hide and seek.†Roxas shuddered. “And the loser gets soaked. Lovely.â€

Talking to yourself, first sign of madness.
Sora. Shut. Up. Now.
Or…?
I kill all of your friends.
Phwp! Like you could do that! How many friends have I got? Kairi, Riku, Donald, Goofy, Leon, Yuffie-
Seriously, I’ll find a way.
Like what?
Um… Ur… I’ll tell Saïx that you stole his socks!
He doesn’t have any stolen socks.
Do you three stalk us, or something?
We sure do!
… That’s disturbing. As hell.
We’re bored! What do you expect us to do?
Yeah, find a non-creepy hobby?
Yes, we do actually!
Boring!
Go kidnap Santa Claus or something!
That’s a stupid idea!
Let’s do it!
Hell yeah!
Oh, thank god they’re gone.

“ROXAS!!!†Roxas spun around, keyblades out, expecting to have to hold back a hyper Demyx. Instead…
“Larxene?!?! What the hell are you doing here?â€
“We need you to help us annoy Saïx so much he goes berserker, and then portal him into the castle that never was.â€
“So that he can destroy it.†Marluxia finished.
“Um…†Roxas looked at them. “Why?â€
“Well, Zexion said if we messed up the castle enough, he’d pay us, but because we are dead lazy, and enjoy getting Saïx in trouble, we thought we’d get him to do it, and then collect the munny.â€
“Riiiight.†Roxas nodded. “Not crazy or anything like that.â€
“Shut up. Are you helping or not?â€
“I’ll help, if you help me.â€
“With what?â€
“If you see Demyx, could you give him a little electric shock.â€
“Sure I can!†Larxene gave a sadistic smile.
“A LITTLE ELECTRIC SHOCK!!!!â€
“I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME!!!!†Screamed Larxene.
“Ah! My ears! Let’s go annoy Saïx goddamit!†Marluxia grabbed both Larxene and Roxas by the ears, and dragged them across the cars.

Yes. ACROSS the CARS.

“OW!â€
“HEY! WATCH IT!!â€
“Yo, my kid is driving here!â€
“Yeah? Well I’m walking here!â€
“Marluxia! You’re going to get us arrested!â€
“No I’m not!â€
“SECURITY!!!â€

MWA WA WA WA!!

“ROLL OUT!!!â€
“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! IT’S A S.W.A.T. TEAM!!!â€
“Not again!†Sighed Roxas.
“Let’s go find Axel!â€
“How?â€
“We’ll use one of these cars!â€
up! Let’s go!â€
“Dear sweet Kingdom Hearts…â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Axel was merrily setting fire to the helicopters. Well, not the ones that had people in them, he had had enough problems with the police and various governments for doing that.

And being sued was boring.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!â€
“LOOOOOOOOOK OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT AXXXEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Axel spun around to see a car made of lego coming straight for him.
“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!†Axel screamed, and then saw a S.W.A.T. team following them. “You got chased by a S.W.A.T. team without me?â€
“If you want in, jump in!†Larxene yelled, and Axel promptly leapt into the Lego car.
“Doesn’t this break several laws of physics?â€
“Very probably!â€
“Okay, just clearing that up!â€
“TREE!!!!â€
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!â€
“We nearly killed a tree!â€
“Marly, SHUT UP!!â€
“Make me!â€
“Not this again!â€
“LOOK OUT FOR THE SITAR!!!â€
“The sit-“ There was a silence, as the watery nobody called Demyx picked up his sitar.
“Oh crap.â€
“DANCE WATER DANCE!!!!!!â€
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ouch. Sorry guys, but everyone being soaked had to be done. Axel will never forgive me. And fear not, Alexia will be more involved in the next chapter.

Good night me hearties!

Insanly yours,
stripy4:ninjacat:

 

OMG!


This is Funny as hell xD

 

WOO-HOO!!! Chapter XIII: Amnesia, Moogles, and BADGERS!?!?!?!

*Hides with you* They have pepper spray. *Shivers*

I'm glad you think so!

I NOW HAVE XIII CHAPTERS!!! *Gets very excited about this rather small number* :woohoo: I now have as many chapters as Orginization members! Not including the fourteenth member.

Now let us get on with the show! Or Story! Or Chapter! Or... I'm rambeling now. How do you spell rambeling? Shut up brain!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back at the Castle That Never Was, sometime later…

“Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.” Axel squeezed his soaking wet cloak dry. “Water is disgusting.”
“Actually-“
“Demyx, open your mouth one more time, I shall burn you alive, okay?”
“But-“
“BURN YOU ALIVE, Demyx.” Axel threw his cloak at him. “Got it memorised?”
“No. I never have.”
“Go and shove your head down a toilet, then flush it.”
“Okay.” Demyx walked out of the room. Seconds later, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard throughout the Castle.
“We have dodgy piping.” Axel muttered. “We need to blackmail the plumber again.”
“What’s Demyx doing?” Roxas asked, walking into the room.
“Shoving his head down the toilet, then flushing it.”
“… Why?”
“I told him to.”
“Okay.” Roxas raised an eyebrow. “You’re in a bad mood.”
“So would you if you had just been SOAKED!!! Got it memorised?”
“I was soaked you idiot!”
“Oh yeah.”
“Axel.” Zexion walked into the room. “Is the fact there’s a S.W.A.T. team in the castle got anything to do with you?”
“Uh… No.”
“You are a rubbish liar.”
“Technically it’s Demyx’s fault.”
“NO!” Demyx ran in from the bathroom, his hair soaking wet and smelling… Like a toilet. “It was Marluxia who ran across the cars!”
“Yeah, but if you hadn’t become hyper…”
“If you hadn’t decided to set everything on fire!”
“Yeah but…”
“HAH! CAN’T THINK OF A COMEBACK FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!” Demyx started doing a victory dance.

SMASH!!!!!!
BANG!!!!!
CRUMBLE!!!!!

“…The hell?” Axel, Demyx, Zexion and Roxas shoved their heads out of the door, to see a berserk Saïx, and normal Larxene and Marluxia destroying several walls.
“YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” Larxene screamed. Yes, she is quite sadistic.
“Ah.” Zexion frowned. “I forgot I asked Marluxia and Larxene to destroy the walls.”
“You did what now?” Alexia appeared out of nowhere.
“Shut up hag.” Axel snapped.
“What did I do?”
“Leave Roxas, Saïx and me with a hyper Demyx in Legoland.”
“Oh yeah.” Alexia grinned. “That was funny.”
“No it wasn’t!”
“If it wasn’t funny, why would I have video taped it and put it on YouTube?”
“No. You didn’t.”
“It’s already got a hundred hits!”
“AHHHHH!!!!!” Axel proceeded to bang his head on the wall. He then accidentally smashed the wall in.
“Does that hurt?”
“Are you a hag?”
“Just asking.” Alexia shrugged.
“Roxas?”
“Yeah Axel?”
“Go get Vexen. My head’s bleeding. Got it memori-?” Then Axel passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember the louder than usual explosion from Vexen’s lab last chapter?
You do?
Good.

“GODDAMMIT!!!” Vexen yelled, his face covered in dust and debris. “THE BLOODY THING WASN’T SUPPOSED TO EXPLODE!!!!!” He then kicked the table. “AND THAT JUST ADDED TO THE PAIN!!!!!”
“Uh, Vexen-“ Roxas’ eyes widened as he walked in. “What… What happened?”
“THE BLOODY THING BLEW UP!!!! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BLUE!!!!” Vexen banged his head on the desk.
“Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.” Roxas paused. “You know what? I think I’ll let Zexion deal with this.” And he began to walk out of the room.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Vexen ran over and grabbed Roxas. “I need some help!” he paused for a second. “And your blood.”
“Yes Vexen.” Roxas wriggled around in the older nobodies death grip. “Sadly, I am not a trained phyciatrist. I think Xaldin has room in Xigbar’s cage if that helps.” Vexen laughed his creepy laugh.
“No, I’m not going insane!” He gave an insane laugh. “I need your help with an experiment. For which I also need your blood.” And he laughed the insane laugh again.
“Okay. Vexen, you are saying you’re not insane.”
“Right.”
“But you’re laughing an insane laugh.”
“With you so far.”
“See the contradiction?” A pause.
“No.” Vexen dragged Roxas over to the table. “Blood. Now.”
“Oh dear Gott in Himmel.”
“You speak German?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Somewhere else in the castle, Xaldin was reaching breaking point.

“My God, why have you forsaken me?” Xaldin threw his hands up in the air. He was then run over by Cloud on a motorcycle.
“Sorry.” Cloud started up the motorcycle, and rode off. As Xaldin stood up, he was then run over by Tifa, who was in a delivery van.
“Not sorry. Where did Cloud go?” Xaldin wearily pointed her in the right direction. “And he was on his motorcycle, right?” A nod. “Okay. Thanks. NOT!” And then she drove off.
“Excuse me.” Xaldin went over to the nearest phone, and dialled a certain number. “Yes, hello? Okay, look here, this isn’t even making sense anymore. I DON’T CARE!!! I’VE JUST BEEN RUN OVER BY A MOTORCYCLE AND A BLIMMIN’ VAN!!!!!” A pause. “Look, the fourth wall… It’s already dead. Well… Oh fine!” Xaldin slammed the phone down, and then stabbed it with a lance. “Stupid writer.”

The stupid writer then decided to drop a bus full of moogles on his head.

“Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Shouldn’t he be back by now?”
“Mmm…” Demyx carried on playing his sitar. Axel was still unconscious on the floor, and Zexion was reading a book.
“Demyx.”
“Mmm…”
“Shouldn’t. Roxas. Be. Back. By. Now?” Alexia said, very slowly.
“Mmm…”
“You aren’t listening to a word I’m saying, are you?”
“Mmm…”
“You are ******ed, aren’t you?”
“Mmm…”
“You’re a bad musician, aren’t you?”
“Mmm… Wait, what?” Demyx snapped out of his musical induced trance.
“Finally. Shouldn’t Roxas be back by now?”
“It depends how much of a failure Vexen’s last experiment was.” Demyx explained. “If it was a total disaster, Vexen probably won’t be able to speak or listen for about half an hour. If it wasn’t so bad, it may still take a while.” Demyx shrugged. Then the phone rang, Zexion sighed, and answered it.
“Hello, The Castle That Never Was, bored out of our brains, how can we help you?”
“OHMYGODHELPMEVEXENWANTSTOUSEMYBLOOD!!!!!!”
“Roxas is that you?”
“VEXENWANTSTOUSEMYBLOOD!!!!!!”
“Um… Okay.” Zexion sighed. “Tell Vexen not to use your blood.”
“ITRIED!!! HECAN’THEARME!!!! HE’SDANCINGAROUNDSINGING ‘DOWN DOWN VIDA I’M DOWN’!!!!”
“Oh s***.” Zexion swore. He remembered this. “Hang on Roxas, we’re coming.”
“What’s wrong?” Demyx asked.
“Vexen’s having ANOTHER ‘moment’. He wants to use Roxas’ blood.”
“Aye.” Demyx shivered. He remembered Vexen’s last ‘Moment’ very well…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flashback time!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Demyx walked down the steps in Twilight’s View slowly. He had only been in the Organization 2 weeks.
“NEW NOBODY!!!!”
“Huh?” Next thing Demyx knew, Vexen had leapt out of nowhere, and slammed his hand over Demyx’s mouth.
“Shush.” Vexen hissed. “The evil pink and blue ponies are after us!”
“The… What?” Demyx raised an eyebrow. He may be naïve, but he wasn’t STUPID.
“Evil pink ponies. They want to lock us inside Candy Mountain, and steal our kidneys to use in black market surgery.” Vexen looked around. “Only you can help me Lemyx.”
“Demyx.”
“Whatever.” Vexen shrugged. “Now let’s run for it!” Vexen fell down the stairs. “ARGH! MY SPLEEN!!! Oooooh. So that’s what it looks like…” Demyx just stared at him.
“Dear God help me.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
End of Flashback @.@
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It must be stress that causes these ‘Moments’.” Zexion mused out loud. “Or early senility.”
“Oooooooh… My head.” Axel wearily raised his head.
“Axel! Are you okay?” Demyx asked.
“… Who the hell are you?” The other three nobodies exchanged looks.
“Uh-oh.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Vexen’s lab, Roxas was hiding underneath the table.

“ROXAS!!! WHERE ARE YOU!!!!?!?!” Vexen yelled. “I DON’T NEED MUCH BLOOD!!! ONLY A FEW CUPS!!!!!”

Jeez, that makes me feel so much better!
It does?
Oh Kingdom Hearts in a hot dog bun, NOT NOW SORA!! I thought you went to kidnap Santa Claus.
Yeah, we did. We’ve got a ransom as well!
Please, just leave me alone.
Okay.
That was too easy.
HI!
SORA!!!
Nope. Not here.
Sora, I do not want your idiot friends here either!
Okay, now you’re getting hurt.
Dammit.
This will be good. I’m getting popcorn.
Double damm it with knobs on.

“AHA!!!!” Vexen’s head appeared under the table.
“Dear God.”
“COME ON NOW!!!” Vexen yanked Roxas from under the table. “I ONLY NEED A LITTLE BIT!!!!!”
“How about… No?”
“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!” Vexen did his creepy laugh. “YOU’RE FUNNY!!!”
“Now I am scared.”
“BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marluxia and Larxene had taken a break from destroying the walls.

“You know, destroying walls is actually very tiring.” Larxene commented, as she drank some water.
“Mmm… Just a little bit tiring on the wrists.”
“I totally agree. Although…” Larxene pointed to the still berserk Saïx “That doesn’t stop him.”
“Nothing would.”
“That is true.” Larxene sighed. “I hate Mondays.”
“It’s Thursday.”
“Your point?” Larxene fizzled slightly.
“Nothing.”
“Good. Because if you did have a point, I would electrocute all of your plants. WITHOUT MERCY!!!!!”
“You never electrocute anything with mercy.”
“That is true.” Larxene finished her water. “Let’s get going!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Okaaaaaaaaaay.” Demyx frowned. “You know who I am! I’m Demyx.”
“What’s a Demyx?”
“Dear sweet Kingdom Hearts.” Zexion held his head in his hands.
“Do you know who you are?” Asked Alexia.
“Nope.”
“Bugger.” Zexion swore for the second time that day. “He must have given himself amnesia.”
“Am- whaty?”
“Nothing, it’s not like you remember it.”
“Okay dokey!” Axel managed to set Demyx on fire.
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
“USE YOUR WATER DEMYX!!!!” Zexion and Alexia yelled at the same time. “USE YOUR WATER!!!!!!!”
“USE MY WHAT-ER?”
“WATER!!!!!!”
“OH, THAT!!!!” Demyx caused a massive tidal wave in the corridor.
“Oh God.” Zexion shook his head, and Axel started screaming. “SOMBODY SHUT HIM UP!!!!”
“Okay!”

BANG!!!!

“What was that?”
“I just knocked him out.” Alexia grinned, holding two ribbons in her hands. (YAY! THE RIBBONS REIGN OF TERROR BEGIN!!!!)
“Right.” Zexion raised an eyebrow. “Well… Demyx, what are you doing?”
“I found a big brick!”
“That’s nice.” Zexion sighed. “Now…Alexia, stop poking Axel.”
“It’s not like he can feel it!”
“That’s not the point.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Very sure?”
“Yes. Now we have to stop Vexen from bleeding Roxas dry. How many times in your life do you get to say that, and mean it?”
“Um, one, two…”
“I didn’t mean you should count it Demyx.”
“Are you-“
“Don’t you start.” Zexion sighed. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Shouldn’t we bring Axel?”
“Well…” Larxene and Marluxia picked that moment to smash their way through the nearest wall.

“MWA HAHAHAHA!!! NO WALL CAN STAND IN THE WAY OF THE SAVAGE NYMPH!!!”

“Yes.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Luxord walked past, and then came to a sudden stop.

“Is there supposed to be a bus full of moogles on your head?”
“No.” Xaldin snarled. “Otherwise I would have been BORN with a bus of moogles on my head.”
“No need to snap.” Luxord sighed. “Shall I get Lexaeus?”
“Yes please.” Xaldin sighed. “I think I’m being cruched.”
“At least you don’t have a brain to damage.”
“HEY!!!!” Xaldin caused a mini hurricane in the corridor, causing Luxord to fall over. “GET LEXAEUS ALREADY!!!!”
“OKAY, OKAY!!!” Luxord rolled his eyes. “What’s the panic?”
“I have a bus on my head, that is the panic.”
“Fair enough.”
“GET LEXAEUS YOU STUPID NOBODY WHOSE ONLY POWER IS GAMBLING!!!!!”
“Okay, that’s it!” Luxord turned Xaldin into a card. “Have fun, Mr Windpasser.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let’s see what going on in the lab.

“GET OVER HERE NOW!!!!”
“I HAVE A CHAIR!!!! AND KEYBLADES!!!!”
“I WARNING YOU!!!”
“AND I’M WARNING YOU!!!!”
“RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!!!!”
“NOT WHEN THEY’RE SENILE!!!!!”
“IT’S NOT THAT MUCH BLOOD!!!!”
“I’VE GOT THAT… THING!!!!”
“GET OVER HERE NOW!!!”
“NO!!!!”
“I MEAN IT THIRTEEN!!!”
“SHOP DA WOOP!!!”

O.o
Okay then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zexion had a headache.

“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are we there yet?”
“No.”
“Are we there yet?”
“NO!!” Zexion held his head in his hands for the umpteenth time that day. “We. Are. Not. There. Yet. If any of you three,” He pointed to Demyx, Axel and Alexia “Ask that one more time, I shall take great pleasure in KILLING YOU!!!!” There was silence for a minute.
“BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM, MUSHROOM! AGH! A SNAKE! OH, IT’S A SNAKE! IT’S A BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, BADGERS, MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!” Sang the other three nobodies as obnoxiously as possible.
“He loses his memory, and yet he can remember the WHOLE GODDAMM BADGER SONG!!!!” Zexion yelled.
“BADGER BADGER BADGER-!!!”
“SHUT UP!!! NOT ONE MORE BADGER!!!!” Silence.
“IT’S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!! IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!! SOME PEOPLE STARTED SINGING IT, NOT KNOWING WHAT IT WAS!! AND THEY ARE STILL SINGING IT ‘CAUSE!!!! IT’S THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!!!!” The trio started singing again.
“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!” Another silence.
“DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM!!!!!” The trio started again.
“HOW THE HELL IS IT THAT AXEL LOSES ALL HIS MEMORIES, EXCEPT HIS KNOWLEDGE OF ANNOYING SONGS!!?!?!?!?” Zexion screamed. There was a pause.
“Who knows?” There was a general murmur of agreement. Zexion sighed.
“Will you please stop singing annoying songs at the top of your voices?”
“No. I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!!! EVERYBODYS NERVES!!!! EVERYBODYS NERVES, YES ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!!! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES!!!!!!!!”
“SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Zexion bellowed, causing the three nobodies to flinch heavily.
“Who the hell is this guy?” Axel frowned.
“You don’t want to know.”
“Jeez, thanks. Let’s head to the lab.”
“FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE FOOTIE ENGLAND! ENGLAND! FOO-“
“SHUT UP!!!!”
“S.W.A.T. TEAM, ROLL OUT!!!”
“I forgot about them…”
“YOU FORGOT THERE WAS A BLOODY S.W.A.T. TEAM IN THE CASTLE?!?!?!!?!?!?!?”
“What’s a S.W.A.T. team?”
“Well…”
“ATTACK!!!!”
“Never mind, just run!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh, I love those songs that drive you insane! The badger song is my favirote, you can watch it here Here is the Doom song, The song that never ends, I don't think I got the lyrics right for that, *Gulps* The song that gets on everybodys nerves, and The Badger: Footie special

Anyway, gotta go. See ya me hearties! (Must stop talking like a pirate)

Insanly yours,
stripy4

EDIT: Guys, there's been a turn of events, and, basically, I'm leaving for Ireland for a week tomorrow. I'll try and write a bit when I'm over there, but I can't make any promises.
Sooooooo sorry! :ninjacat:

TO ALL SECTION MODS AND MODS!! PLEASE DO NOT CLOSE THIS THREAD!! I AM GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK ON SATURDAY, SO I WILL NOT BE POSTING FOR A WHILE!! BUT I SHALL RETURN AND POST!! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MESSAGE!!

 

Chapter XIV: Pizza, Pom-Poms, and Mould Collections

Thank ye. Thank ye kindly.

I know a song that gets on everybodys nerves, everybodys nerves, yes on everybodys nerves...
SPREAD THE SONG!!!!! SPREAD IT!!!!! SPREAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agh. Sorry it's taken so long to write a new chapter, but life has been insane. Scratch that. Life has been more insane than usual.

Are ye ready, me hearties? (God, I need to stop reading about pirates)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sometime Later…

Xaldin walked into the kitchen, and froze. He looked around, dazed.
“Okay, how did this happen?†Xaldin asked the Organization.

“Well…â€
“Ya see…â€
“IT’S ALL AXEL’S FAULT!!!â€
“’TISN’T!!!!â€
“EVERYONE HAVE A POT NOODLE AND GO TO SLEEP!!!†(That was Xigbar)
“Shut up Xiggy.â€
“No, you should shut up.â€
“Me? I didn’t do anything?â€
“You stood there and laughed.â€
“So?â€
“I’m bored.â€
“My head hurts.â€
“Because a light fell on it.â€
“Oh yeah.â€
“You FORGOT about that?â€
“Well…â€

“Okay, everyone shut up now!†Xaldin yelled, causing everyone to fall into silence. “Can someone please explain why the kitchen has been set on fire, flooded, shot, and now covered in… Whatever this is…â€
“Dough.†Demyx piped up.
“Yes, dough. Well? Can anyone explain?†There was a long silence.

“It had to do with Vexen.â€
“And pizza.â€
“And walls.â€
“And sugar.â€
“SUUUUUGGGG—“
“Shut up Demyx.â€
“No. SUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!â€
“Tell me Demyx, did you also lose your BRAIN when you lost your heart?â€
“Hmm…â€
“Don’t tell me you have to think about it?â€
“I don’t think I did.â€
“OKAY!!!!†Xaldin yelled. “What happened?†There was a long silence. “If no-one tells me soon, I will-“ (The following threat has been cut out for the sanity and innocence of the readers. However, it did involve curtains, a piano, several lightbulbs, and Paris Hilton music.)
“Okay, Xaldin, you can stop threatening us now. We get the picture.†Roxas yelled, covering Demyx’s ears.
“Roxas, can you let go of my ears now?â€
“Maybe…â€
“No. Nada on maybe. Now.â€
“Nope.â€
“DANCE WATER DANCE!!!!!â€
“NO DEMYX NO!!!!!†But, of course, Demyx didn’t listen. And the kitchen was flooded again.
“Mein Gott.†Was all anyone could say.
“Explain. Now.†Xaldin said, summoning his lances.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next two chapters will be nothing but flashbacks! Mwa ha!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roxas had shoved the chair onto Vexen’s head, and was now running around the lab like a headless chicken. (No, do not cut off a chicken’s head to see how it runs, just use your imagination.)

“ROXAS!!!! I ONLY NEED A LITTLE BLOOD!!!!!!â€
“USE SOMONE ELSES!!!!!â€
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I NEE- OW!!!†Vexen rubbed his head, where Demyx had hit him with his sitar.
“Leave Roxas alone!†Demyx yelped, before hitting Vexen repeatedly with the sitar.
“’Kay Demyx, that’s enough.†Zexion called from the doorway.
“Itsy witsy spider went up the water spout…†Axel sang to himself happily, rocking back and forwards. Roxas stared at him.
“Who are you? And what have you done with Axel?â€
“He’s got amnesia.†Zexion explained. “So he… OW!! GET THOSE RIBBONS OUT OF MY FACE!!!!â€
“Sorry.†Alexia pulled the ribbons out of Zexion’s face, and started poking them in Axel’s face.
“Purty ribbons!â€
“Yes Axel! Follow the purty ribbons! Follow them! Foooooooooollllllooooww!!â€
“Are you annoying him or trying to hypnotise him?â€
“… Why can’t it be both?†Then the wall collapsed, and the SWAT team arrived.
“ROLL OUT!!!!!â€
“HOLY- RUN!!!!!â€
“Holy rum?â€
“No, just run!â€
“Just rum?â€
“JESUS!!!!â€
“Jebus?†Alexia frowned.
“Are you being intentionally dense?â€
“Huh?†Zexion nearly wept.
“Please!†He begged. “For the love of Kingdom Hearts, stop being thick!â€
“For your King of Darts?â€
“No. Kingdom Hearts.â€
“King of fa-?“
“SHUT UP AND RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!†Roxas screamed, grabbing hold of Axel, who was distracted by ‘The funny men in the uniforms and with the spray that makes my eyes feel like they’re on fire!’ (Also known as the S.W.A.T team, armed with pepper spray)
“What about Vexen?â€
“Fine, he can come.†So, Roxas grabbed Axel and dragged him out by the sleeve, while Zexion, Demyx and Alexia grabbed Vexen and dragged him out. He was a lot heavier than he looks. Roxas then locked the door with his keyblades, as the S.W.A.T. team banged hard on the door.
“That was close.†Roxas sighed. “Now what?†There was a very long pause.
“Let’s get some pizza hut!†Demyx yelled, running towards the kitchen. There was a slight pause.
“Anyone got a better idea?â€
“No. But I wish I did.â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last time we saw Xaldin, he had a bus full of moogles on his head. Has there been a change? Well…

“IT’S CRUSHING MY SKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

…No.

The nobody with the incredible sideburns scowled as Lexaeus and Luxord tried to remove the bus of moogles from Xaldins’ head. However, they were failing, miserably, while Larxene was filming it.

YouTube is a wonderful thing. And that is le fact.

The moogles however, had woken up (They had been zoned out on Hi-Potions) and were not pleased about being in a bus on a large nobodies head. What do moogles do when they aren’t pleased? Well…

“AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I NEVER KNEW HOW PAINFUL HAVING POM-POMS SHOVED UP YOUR A** IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€

O.o

I think we’ll leave that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Water and electricity do not mix. So what happens when Demyx tries to use a telephone?

“Hello? Hello? Hello? HELLO!!!!!!!?!?!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!?â€
“Dial the number idiot.â€
“Ah.†Demyx nodded. “What is the number?â€
“I don’t know, look it up in the phone book.â€
“Where is the phone book?â€
“I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Screamed Roxas, grabbing string from the cupboard which he planned to tie Vexen up with. Zexion was banging his head on the table, wondering if it was possible to knock himself into a state of blissful unconsciousness. Alexia was pulling all of the drawers open.
“EW!!!†Alexia screamed, slamming the most recently opened drawer. “What is… That?â€
“Oh, you found Lexaeus’ mould collection!†Demyx yelped, pausing from his kitchen-wide search for the phonebook. (No doubt it would soon turn up behind a kitchen cabinet.)
“I found his… What?â€
“Mould collection.†Demyx smiled, as Alexia looked disgusted and disturbed. “He needs something to nurture. It’s a way of insuring he doesn’t start the flying Rock Circus again.â€
“… I think it’s spawning intelligent life.â€
“No doubt more intelligent than most of the organization…†Muttered Zexion darkly from the table. He had not yet succeeded in knocking himself into unconsciousness.
“It appears to have a book club.†Alexia commented, before pausing. “It appears to be cannibalistic.†She pushed the drawer back in. “Let us never speak of it again.â€
“Agreed.†Zexion muttered.
“Oh, I’m bored of looking for the phone book!†Demyx had a look of concentration on his face.
“Well, you could train the mould to look for it for you.â€
“A-ha! I’ll just guess the number!†Demyx grabbed the phone and slammed the number in. This caused several looks of anxiousness around the kitchen. “Hello? Crimewatch? Hey, you don’t happen to have the number of the nearest Pizza Hut, do you? Nope? Okay, thanks anyway.†Demyx hung up. “I think I got somewhere!†Zexion banged his head VERY hard on the table.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, the moogles had been bribed to leave Xaldin alone, with ethers. When they were last sighted, they were attempting to push them up their noses.

Xaldin had the feeling you get when you have lost every scrap of dignity you have left.

Trust me, I know how that feels, XD

But nevertheless. Or something like that.

Xaldin was wondering if it was too early to drown his sorrows yet. As he was pondering this, three figures landed on his head.
“OW! OW! OW!!!!!!†He yelped, as each one landed on his head.
“Oh, hey Xaldin!†Sora grinned, and fell off the nobodys head. “Ouch!!â€
“We’re very sorry about this!†Kairi apologized, who was holding a shovel.
“It’s just we threatened Roxas and we want to keep it.†Riku nodded sagely. Xaldin sighed.
“Fine. Whatever. I don’t care. Marry him if you want.†This caused the teenagers eyebrows to shoot far far beyond their hairlines. Kairi hit Xaldin in the face with the shovel, and walked off. Sora and Riku glanced at Xaldin.
“One, she’s PMSing. And two, how does it feel to be beat up by a girl?â€
“I hate you all.†Xaldin muttered. “Now, if you excuse me, I have an appointment with several cans of beer and the basement.†And with that, Xaldin left. Sora and Riku glanced at each.
“Times like this make me worry for this Organization.†At this Riku’s eyebrows rose to a height not yet recorded by man.
“They try to kill you, destroy your life, they kidnap your girlfriend, and you worry about them?â€
“I am a chronic worrier. You know that.â€
“Sora, you are a chronic IDIOT!â€
“HURRY UP YOU TWO!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON’T, YOU’LL SUFFER THE SAME FATE AS XALDIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!â€
“… She’s your girlfriend.â€
“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!â€
“HURRY UP!!!!!!!â€

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zexion had still not managed to fall into a state of unconsciousness. But he sure as hell made himself VERY VERY VERY dizzy. And confused.

“This is better than when he’s drunk!†Larxene, who had joined the group in the kitchen, grinned. “Classic.â€
“It is good, isn’t it?â€
“Heeeeeeellllllloooooooooo? Yes, I am the person in charge of the phone bill-“
“No you’re not.â€
“Shut up Roxas. Well, I am somewhat happy with my service.†Demyx’s eyes lit up. “12 munny for that many minutes? Plus free minutes per month? I’ll sign up if you tell me the number for Pizza Hut, because I’ve just been dialling random numbers for hours now. You will? Oh, thanks! My e-mail?Um… ‘Iamdasuperior@hotmail.co.uk’ Thank you.†Demyx then hung up.
“Demyx, you can’t use the superiors e-mail address!â€
“Says who?â€
“EVIL CHICKEN GODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Yelled Zexion.
“Oh by the gods, not this again.†Larxene sighed.
“Wha-?â€
“Last summer, before you joined, Axel founded a group of Evil Chicken Gods worshippers. Zexion joined when he was drunk, Xigbar joined because he thought it was hysterical, Demyx joined because he was bored, and Marluxia hates chickens, so that’s why he joined.â€
“But-“
“The daily sacrifice was a chicken.â€
“Ah.†Roxas wondered if the mould collection was more intelligent than most of the organization.
“WHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! HEY, FAN HAIR LOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M IN A FRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!â€

Most definitely.

“AH! NOW MY HAND IS STUCK!!!†Axel whimpered from inside the fridge. “WOW! The little light DOES turn off when the door is closed!â€
“WE DON’T CARE!!!!!†Roxas screamed, as Alexia shoved her head out into the doorway.
“Hey Roxas. There’s a girl with a shovel out here.â€
“HI ROXAS!!!!!!†Screamed Kairi. “Well, we threatened you, and here we are!†Roxas turned pale.
“What have I done to deserve this?â€
“We have a list!†Sora beamed. “Okay, ‘What Roxas has done to deserve this, Part One’. He has strange hair-“
“This is coming from you.â€
“He is emo-“
“NO I AM NOT!!!!!â€
“He tried to kill me-“
“I was testing you!â€
“He won’t shut up!â€
“… I hate you.â€
“Yeah, that’s here somewhere.â€
“It’s in Volume three.â€
“You have a volume three?â€
“We haven’t got much to do, what with you all being unable to do anything because Mansex is having a nervous breakdown.â€
“… God you must be bored.â€
“Uh, guys? The fridge is on fire.â€
“… SOMEONE GET AXEL OUT OF THERE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Screamed Roxas, realising that the pyro had decided to burn his way out of the fridge.

BANG!!!

“Oh, look, Zexion succeeded in knocking himself out!â€
“Larxene, you just hit him over the head with a rounder’s bat.â€
“Baseball bats are so overused.â€
“Who cares?â€
“I do! I have an image!â€
“Of looking like an ant.†There was silence after Sora’s statement.
“…â€
“As soon as I said that, I realised it was a mistake.â€
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!†Larxene screamed, summoning her knai, a scowl on her face.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!†Sora leapt out of the window, followed by Larxene. So, the situation in the kitchen was:

Sora: Missing in Action
Riku: Totally confused.
Kairi: PMSing, and armed with a shovel.
Zexion: Unconscious.
Demyx: On the phone to Pizza Hut.
Axel: Being dragged out of the fridge, which is on fire.
Roxas: Wondering how to escape from the shovels wrath.
Larxene: Also missing in action.
Vexen: Waking up, wondering about the wonders of Sudafed.
Alexia: Dragging Axel out of the fridge.
Mould Collection: Worshiping Scooby Doo, while eating each other.

Wow. I can see why Xemnas needed a break.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm so sleepy... And I've got an irate mother on my tracks. Yay!

I'm going to Ireland again on Saturday, and I won't be back for a week. But I'll try and write some stuff up when I'm over there. And I haven't packed.

And spread the word of the Evil Chicken Gods! XD

Chin up me hearties!

Insanly yours
stripy4 :ninjacat:

TO ALL SECTION MODS AND MODS!! PLEASE DO NOT CLOSE THIS THREAD!! I AM GOING AWAY FOR A WEEK ON SATURDAY, SO I WILL NOT BE POSTING FOR A WHILE!! BUT I SHALL RETURN AND POST!! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS MESSAGE!!

 

My shirt is drenched in tears, since I've been laughing non-stop at this. You.Are.So.Funny.And.Clever.It's.Getting.Scary.
I almost started laughing out loud hysterically during my swedish exam by just remembering the stuff here. Fortunately I only giggled a bit, got me some weird looks... Oh man, maybe I'M having a nervous breakdown... Nah, you're just so funny!
I've got a mental image of Zexion completely hammered singing the Emo-song burnt in my memory now *starts beating her head on the keyboard* hfjdhialuhgfdavf fjkbdsl kjfadhb kbdj fah uiger tiuyow wtuh bh uilgffffb! Umm, a little improvement, he switched in to singing Teenagers by Mcr...
And for the gazillionth time: YOU ARE A COMICAL GENIUS!!!!

 

*sighs* I'm a bored no-life... *Starts to re-read the whole thing*
o_O" Luxord's only 29?! I thought he was like 45 or something...
*goes on to read the rest, chuckling, giggling and laughing hysterically and uncontrollably for hours*

O_o I just found these on youtube... kinda suit Demyx in this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqvfNUUSgPk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SINYcbzMVM&feature=related

Zexy seems to like to remove Keyblades out of peoples rears for some reason (without flinching!)

 

*reads all of it, laughing hystericly while im at it*

Genius, though Xemnas needs to get his @$$ back in the story. xD