oblivion is love

Discussion in 'Archives' started by {Vena_Sera}_ The Anti{Saint}, Dec 12, 2007.

  1. {Vena_Sera}_ The Anti{Saint} King's Apprentice

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2007
    Location:
    As the Monster Under You Bed
    13
    463
    oblivion is hell,
    either there is love,
    or life its self.
    flames fly in rage,
    or black covers all.
    love is no escape,
    it is just a gate,
    to hell.
    or a invintation to heaven
    oblivion can be love
    or just lonely black clouds that covers life.



    can you conqure it, or will you dive into the deep black hole of oblivion
     
    {Vena_Sera}_ The Anti{Saint}, Dec 12, 2007
    {Vena_Sera}_ The Anti{Saint}, Dec 12, 2007
    #1

  2. O R A N G E C is the heavenly option

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Location:
    between an erupting earth and an exploding sky
    194
    1,273
    It's okay. Make sure you check over spelling and grammar. It's a bit short, but it would be nice if it could maybe be divided into verses. Great concept for a poem, though, and you did fine with it.
    ​
     
    O R A N G E, Dec 13, 2007
    O R A N G E, Dec 13, 2007
    #2

  3. Nymph of Destiny Chaser

    Joined:
    Jul 23, 2007
    Location:
    Just listen to your heart for me...
    39
    1,042
    Pretty good...all lower-cased makes it a unique sort of poem, but 'darkness' would sound better than 'black', giving a clearer meaning...but otherwise, great job, very deep. :)​
     
    Nymph of Destiny, Dec 14, 2007
    Nymph of Destiny, Dec 14, 2007
    #3
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