The feeling is neutral to a lot of us, so hopefully most of you know what I'm talking about or at least know how I feel. I'm sure in a time, (I'll use the word) MOST of you have felt like you weren't accepted in something unless you were one of those popular kids. So, for the past few years I've always felt alone or not good enough. Some of my friends or just random students at school tell me to smoke or drink and etc. It pissed me off, because I don't have interest in it. I'm also not afraid to say this, but I'm a virgin and for that I've been also teased and not looked at in the right way. I know what I'm doing is right, but it still makes me feel lonely. As I get closer to senior year, I'm falling apart and fell like I'm losing control. The move from New York to Florida has killed me. I moved in August and it's almost been a year now. 2010 is my graduation year, yet I'm not graduating with the same kids that I was with my whole life. It's like I'm now graduating with students that don't really know and care for me. I don't feel accepted and now all I see is scattered memories that flash in my head. The feeling is the same with me no matter where I'm at. I feel I'm not accepted anywhere, which includes the internet and KHV. Let's face the facts, I'm only known on here because I'm the reporter, but if I wasn't, none of you would know me. I feel like I would have to bend backwards to be accepted. They always say that you need to make the best of life, but sometimes you do and still nothing happens. All I know right now is that I have a best friend/brother that is exactly like me. The only thing that hurts me is that I'm 1500 miles away from him.
I know how you feel... I felt like that when I first moved from a big city to a tiny town out in the middle of no where. Just complimenting you now, you're doing great by not giving in to those guys. Trust me, I know how hard it is to not submit to other's wills or wishes. Well, how I dealt with this feeling when I moved was that I tried the best I could to find the right friends. Friends with my interest, and with my standards. Those are not easy to find. Sometimes, they could be the outcasts. But I know how hard it is to interact with them... Because, you might get teased endlessly... Peer pressure is not fun. B\ Keep holding on though; tough times don't last long. Sooner or later, graduation day is suddenly going to pop out of no where, and off you go to college. Now that's the place to find the friends you've been looking for. It just takes some time. Stay patient, even though it's rough. For me, being lonely right now is giving me attributes to better interact with people. For example, this community forum taught me how to go up to people, and forget myself for a while and introduce myself. I guess that's one of the advantages of feeling alone in real life... Hm... that's basically all I can think about to say right now. Just hang in there, and you'll be thankful in the future for making right choices, even though it's a lonely road. And think of you from other people as this: You're stronger, better, and smarter then the other kids in your school. Hoped that helped Mike...
That's really horrible, and yes I understand what you mean, except I can't really care about popularity, because here we don't divide by popularity. Can't you partake with your other friends in their graduation ceremony? I've seen some cases of that being done. And I understand that you what you mean, but we have to work with cirmcumstances. I know you were chosen reporter. Most of us just made it as normals, that isn't a deciding factor. I can't really pin the blame on you for what's happening, because you were abruptly changed from one envoirement onto another. I just wish you didn't feel so miserable. It makes me feel bad myself and sorta guilty cause I really can't do anything to help you.
Before I can give any useful advice whatsoever, can you please tell me what you've already tried to become accepted? And why those attempts didn't help? Because I'd advise you to search for some new social contacts, perhaps in places you haven't tried it yet. Try to start conversations about topics you care about. But that's basically all I can think of so if that didn't help I'm stuck.
I say if the kids at your school think that you have to smoke and drink to be cool and you think it's wrong then just keep resisting. If you don't think it's right then don't listen to them. One day you'll find your friend for a lifetime. Everything happens for a reason. Why you don't have one right now there's a reason for that too. It might not even be you it just aren't meant to have one right now. You will find a friend so don't give up hope. And don't listen to those other kids. If they don't appreciate you then just stay away from them so their meanness won't rub off on you.
Im somewhat similar. Cept I hold the fact I don't smoke/take drugs/drink alot with pride, I don't like peer pressure and I don't give a dam what people say to me about it. No seriously if slowly killing yourself is the 'cool new thing' then **** that. You just need to find someone who relates to you, theres bound to be someone in your school whos like you or who accepts you for your choices. Also, I'm not that well known either around here, despite also being in pretty much the same setting as you. The reason for this is probebly just you not being up and around enough to build your own name, like me, who just spends half his time huddeled in the code vault telling newbs off. xD I know it may be a while from now, but once you graduate from school your life will change, if you end up going to university or whatever you Americans or whatever call your after high school things youll find new people all of which are interested in the same thing you are, most of which wont have any friends there either, so it will be easier for you to settle in. Just hang in there stay happy, things get better.
I know how you feel...Thats how I live my school life...You areaccepted here as more than just a reporter...Your a friend to some people here I guess...A true friend wouldn't hate you 'cuz your a virgin or 'cuz you don't smoke...A true friend would just say "Oh well we're pals" And live life with you doing what you wanna do...Just think...All those people that smoke are worse than you...Your not accepted by them because your the better man...You know not to do it and they have an addiction and find it too much work to stop...The only thing that gets me trough school is the few friends I do have...People that wouldn't smoke or have sex jusat for the hell of it...If oyu find people like that you will be accepted...Just ignore everybody else...Hopefully you'll turn out happy and smiley like me.
Hey Mike. I'm in a similar situation myself, 'cept without the 1500 mile barrier between my friends. If the people around you can't accept you, then it's their loss. Sure I don't know you that much, but if people aren't willing to accept you, then they quite frankly aren't worth the trouble to have accept you. My rule is "Live life your way", so that's the advice I'm gonna give you. If you want contact with the people you care about, get phone numbers, e-mail addresses, whatever, and talk to them. Whatever you want to do with your life, do it, and don't let others influence your own choices. Personally, I think anyone who chooses to smoke/drink like that is obviously thick enough to do it. Hope you feel better soon Mike. Keep your spirits up, mate ;)
I don't know how to explain it. I guess I try to be accepted from different points. For example, when I don't feel accepted at school, I'll just try to be accepted on the internet by the content I like. That really doesn't help on answering your question, aye? By the way, thanks everyone for the advice.
i felt the same way when i transferred to a new school in the 11th grade. i think you're feeling that way because you're still kinda of the "new guy". it can be hard to make friends at a new school, especially transferring in with a bunch of kids who already know each other and you're the only one who's sort of the outsider. my junior year of high school was awkward because of this with the eating at lunch alone, the awkward rumors about me, but things picked up for me in the senior year and i was able to actually have a good time. i hope it's the same case for you. your situation must be worse off than mine was since you moved and are no longer in close contact with your old friends, i think that makes it much harder. not nessacarily, at least it wasn't for me. i thought it was going to be that way too, but it turned out that it was even worse than my high school. i THOUGHT i was going to be with people who could use their indoor voices, but instead, i got the stereotypical college students, you know, the ones on TV that are always drunk and loud. i was PLANNING to make new friends at college but i just ended up hanging out with the same people from high school, i didn't like the people i met at college, that's why i stopped living at school. i hope i'm not tearing down that ray of hope, because it certainly CAN turn out the way you said, but just adding in that the reverse can be true as well.
i feel the same way right now... last year i moved to a new school about 100 miles away from my old school durring my freshman year, at first i was a little nervios beause i never wanted to leave... but i finally got over it... i do miss my old school a little bit, but i just needed to move on...i made plenty of new friends that do like me... and i am taking junior and senior classes which helped me out a bit... The only advice hat i can give you is try really hard to make as many friends as you can... but if the people who call themselves your "friends" only want to be your friends if you give into peer pressure... then they aren't your friends...i don't think that drugs, smoking, and drinking are cool so i don't do them and none of my friends do them either... so i hope that you don't make some bad choices... Sorax13_Roxas13_92
Wow, that's quite a lot to deal with... hmmm.... Do you move around a whole lot? by senior year do you mean collage or high school? If you are in high school then their is no reason for you to feel bad about being a virgin. I'm nearly 21, and I'm still a virgin. sigh.... kinda does suck to be in such situations though... but I don't think the virgin thing is the issue here. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs either. I think you are doing the right thing by that, and I respect you for it. Yes you may feel left out, but that doesn't mean you have to be left out. you can still go to parties with alcohol and not drink. you will be pressured more, but by refusing, you will only strengthen your resolve to not drink. Me I'm not the party kind of person, as a matter of fact, I prefer not having parties even on my birthday. But I don't think that this here is the issue either. You said you were lonely. Get a facebook. If you don't check those kind of things, then just make an effort to. you moved? join a club at your new school. Maybe a video game club or something. That is the perfect place to make friends. You need to put forth an effort here. Drinking in self pity will only make it worse. You have to make the best of what you got. Keep on walking. Look for a new tomorrow. It's hard. it will always be hard to leave behind what you knew, but that is how you survive in this world. You have already made an effort here by asking for help. Now you need to take action. good luck! :)
