Nooby Dooby doo, Where are you? We've got some annoying to do now. Nooby dooby doo, We need some bad grammar from you now. Come on nooby doo, I see you, Pretending you've got smarter, your not fooling me, cause i can see, the way you blink scratching your ear. You know we've got a thread to solve, so, nooby do get ready for your act. Noob attack! Cause, Nooby doo, When you come thru your gonna have yourself a rep snack. Thats a fact! Nooby dooby doo, Here are you, Your ready and your willin' If we can count on you, Nooby doo, You'll outdumb that villian! In a dark, Mysterious castle, The Dr.What? is making something...an invention? Well, He's just finished watching his favorite show, Doctor who. Thats probably where he got his name from. Anyway, It WASN'T an invention! It was...MONSTERS! Yes, he was creating...monster mods! Evil ones! What will happen? They can ban ANYONE from KHV! Later on, they went to KHV and battled against the good mods, but they epicly lost...but that was because CtR just quit...anyway, THEY were in charge now! WHO will save KHV!? Meanwhile, Nooby and his friends: Velmota~, Thread, Shaddie, Halie and scrafflyn just solved a case of a thread with spammers. Halie heard about the monster mods on the phone. She told the gang about them. ''Okay gang, lets split up!'' Thread said. '' R u sure?'' nooby asked. '' Sure.'' Thread said. ''Excellent idea Thread!'' Velmota said. ''And do you know what else is excellent? Maths! Did you know that...'' ''Lets go!'' Said Shaddie. ''Me and Halie and Velmota will be together, while you and Shaddie go together!'' Thread said. later, Nooby and Shaddie found the monster mods. ''Rap'' Said nooby. So, all of the monster mods started rapping. ''I think he meant Crap.'' Said Shaddie. the monster mods were about to push the ban button, after finding Nooby and Shaddies email address, but Shaddie dressed up as a reporter and said, ''On News today, we found the Most noobish noob on KHV!''. ''But if you ban us you wont be banners because banners are icon things i thinkzzzz...'' Said nooby. the mods were so confused, they blew up and all the other real moderators came back to life. ''Yay! We saved the day!'' Halie said. Nooby coughed. ''Okay...YOU saved the day...'' Halie said. Another mystery solved! Scarfflyn burped. The end!
This story...isn't really particularly creative at all. You followed almost exactly the storyline of every single Scooby Doo episode and this isn't long enough to show any individuality. D: Why do some of your nouns have random capital letters in the middle of sentences? I know you're only young, but they must have atleast taught you that at school by now. This was...difficult to read, the flow of your writing isn't particularly smooth. I also suggest not including other members from the site in your work without asking your permission~ I believe Fayt complained about his earlier involvement in the story. Try writing longer stories with more parts that you have invented yourself :3 and guys, the posts here so far have not contributed to the story or helped the author at all- opinions were barely stated in them- so they're being deleted as spam. Watch it. @ Rhopperguard- if you want to mention who inspired you, please edit it into the first post. :'D
gtfo This isn't a story, this is a failed attempt at creating a fictional realm. Story's don't take on an attempted converstational feel. There is barely any description that is justifiable to the plot. As a writer you need to nail down exactly what you are going for instead of creating a rhetorical conversation with yourself. Your structure is horrendous, spelling is terrible and as a fan of the original Scooby Doo series, this is fail.
Why did you make this story? Why did you feel the need to involve all those members? There surely is a reason to make a story. It's very short, but I'm sure you can make it a little more lengthened with more detail or description of the scene. And it doesn't seem very planned. It could've been well thought out, and this could've been a magnificent story if you just thought out what was happening, and surely having the other members agree with your terms to make an actual story about them. There's a lot of work to be done, but I'm sure if you try, you can do it.
... I have to agree with Shades; 'Fail'. You seemed to have no grasp of the most basic English skills, I mean you didn't even start a new line when I character spoke. I was taught that before my age was in double figures. I won't even start on your grammar, and I really have to hope the "r" and "u" stuff was deliberate or really... just wow. But if it wasn't I will admit it's a fairly creative way to manipulate language to enhance the idea. It was far too short for any real development, and this is actually something that could of been taken and made to last quite a long time if in the right writers hands. I mean... the so called 'story' didn't even last a decent sized paragraph. I rather expect my post for this is actually longer then your piece was. Also the "theme" is a bit dodgy. It doesn't match up to either the Classic Scooby Doo Theme or the newer one which I think Simple Plan helped to write, I'm not sure of that but never mind that's not a detail of any consequence. So you may want to work on the way you create the 'music' with the words. In all honesty it came across as something you'd make up with your mates when you've either had too much to drink or too much sugar. Personally I wouldn't post it for others to see without a LOT more in it. So basically, without all the BS, I think it was a vaguely good idea, you just did it badly.
The only part I somewhat liked was the theme song conversion, you might wanna try harder with the story next time.
