Warning: Contains scenes that may not be suitable for those who are sqeamish and/or sensitive. If you are easily offended then I suggest you do not read. Now this was tough for me to write, I am not very good at writing outside of first person so I was out of my comfort zone in that respect. I would really appreciate some feedback on this, CnC is love <3 Spoiler “Now this might sting just a little my dear.” The disconnected voice sounding from somewhere within the darkness of the room, the girl struggled against the bindings that kept her attached to a table of some form, her hands and feet unable to move. Thick belts and buckles held her down, across her knees, across her waist, across her chest and shoulders. Her head was held down by the same thick leather, all she could move were her eyes; her eyes which danced around the room wildly, searching the dark grim space for a sign of hope. There was none. Fear. Panic. Confusion. Emotions dancing in a matter of seconds as she continued to struggle trying to break free. She felt cold fingertips brush her arms and she shivered involuntarily trying to squirm away. “You’re only making this harder on yourself.” The same disconnected voice echoed around, bouncing off stone walls and repeating. The air smelt damp, like mildew and stale water. It was cold, not unlike the temperature of a storage room. It was this that led the bound girl to assume she was in a basement of some kind. How long she had been there she had no idea, all she knew was the damp, stale air and the bite of leather immovable on her flesh. “You must pay for your crimes.” Her mouth and throat dry from dust and little air she desperately searched for the spit to be able to talk, “wh..what crimes?” she rasped, it hurt to talk, the straps across her chest making it hard to inhale enough oxygen to speak. There was an answering chuckle from somewhere within the space, but nothing more. Footsteps sounded hollowly but she could not tell the direction they came from, the echoing walls distorting the sound until it flowed around her. There was a creak like an old door long out of use being opened on rusted hinges and for a brief moment there was a delicious burst of fresh air into the room as the staleness rushed to escape into the outside. She longed to become a part of the air and escape too, but she settled for the taste of clean oxygen in her lungs, how odd to find such pleasure in something taken so much for granted. Her pleasure was short lived as a new sound registered on her consciousness; it was an odd sound, shaky and somehow terrifying. There was regularity to it, almost a rhythm of squeaks and the sound of metal against metal. She recognised the noise but couldn’t place it, but somewhere within the depths of her memory her mind was screaming at her to try and break free. She continued to struggle, but the leather only bit further into her flesh. She winced against the pain but something told her that staying still was not an option and to fight for even the small slim chance of breaking free. The noise came closer and closer, now accompanied by a deep humming. It disturbed her how happy the hummer seemed to sound, as though it was just an ordinary person out for a stroll in the park in summer. The series of squeaks and creaks continued and with it came the memory of a dozen horror films watched on sleepovers with friends as they laughed at the absurdity of it all. Her eyes widened at the realisation as her captor wheeled the trolley into the room and closed the door behind them. The fresh air once more staring its transition into stale as she inhaled and exhaled, her heart beating faster than it should even be possible. “It is time for you to pay.” “WHAT ARE MY CRIMES?” “An act of innocence will get you no where.” “But I have done nothing wrong!” She was met with silence. She was exhausted; she didn’t even know how long she had been here, let alone where here was. She closed her eyes to fight back tears refusing to give in and break down. She heard the faint sounds of metal scraping metal and behind her closed eyelids she could sense movement. Opening her eyes she was blinded when a light bulb flickered on above her. The light was dingy and minimal, but after so long in the dark it was like seeing the sun for the first time. In the few moments that her eyes were open, she deeply regretted not keeping them closed. Her assumption was correct; she was indeed in a basement of some kind. The walls were dirty and stained with an odd sheen that looked like damp and slime. The floor was covered in dust with the exception of thin wheel marks and footsteps scuffed into the layers. There were no windows and rust appeared to be growing from the majority of the surfaces. In the corner was a large sink that looked like it was originally an off-white colour but was now a stained and mouldering yellowish-brown. The light bulb flickered throwing her back into darkness before flickering back to life again. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the dim light reflect off something shiny, her eyes moving to look she saw her reflection in the blade of some instrument wielded by a gloved hand. Her reflection made her choke on laughter as she registered her eyes wide and frightened, her face dirty and streaked with lines of grime, her hair a mass of knots and tangles. She noted the cracked lips and bruise on her cheekbone. She looked a mess. The girl laughed, the belts hurting her chest, digging into her body as she laughed but she didn’t care as she lost herself in hysteria before her laughter dissolved into tears and sobs. She sobbed, hollowly and deeply and knew she would not live for much longer. Her reflection came closer as the gloved hand moved the blade tracing along the skin of her arms down to her hands. She closed her eyes as the metal swung downwards. Pain. Unbearable. White hot and burning as her fingers dropped to the dirty ground one after another. She screamed as the blood ran down to pool on the floor, gritty and slick mixing with the dust forming globs as a ringing echoed in her ears shrilly and loudly, she felt as though she was falling off the edge of the world. Tears of pain flooded down her face freely as her body twisted in agony, the belts and bindings keeping her in place as she choked on pain. “For your crimes.” “I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!” “Still you deny it? Have you not learnt your lesson?” The girl shook, her body sweating as pain gripped her tightly. She barely registered the hands trailing over her skin along her stomach and over her breasts, moving upwards to her jaw. The gloved hands were slick with blood as the pulled her jaw open, she struggled, her eyes widening in terror as she saw the hands reaching for a different instrument, she screamed and screamed but it didn’t matter. She closed her eyes tightly as her jaw was held open, the thick leather straps still holding her head in place as her tongue was removed slice by tiny slice and thrown to the floor with her fingers. The blood ran down her throat, down her face as she choked and coughed drowning in crimson. Locked in a world of pain fuzzy and distorted the girl floated into her mind, locking herself away from the torture. She could feel herself slipping away, dissolving into rivers and air like sugar dissolving in hot water. The ringing sound continued to surround her consciousness as did the noise of metal slicing through flesh, the sound of blood raining freely to the floor and above it all the sound of delighted humming as the one who held her captive continued to “teach a lesson” to the girl. The release of the straps across her chest registered briefly before the pain of her flesh being torn and ripped open. She slipped gratefully into unconsciousness as her still beating heart was exposed, gloved hands reaching out to wrap around it, squeezing the life out. Crushing the heart, broken and irreparable. She died in a bloody and broken mess, her fingers and tongue removed. Her heart crushed and destroyed. The death of Art, the death of Creativity. Her means of expression lost and removed. The one who killed her removed their gloves dropping them to the ground amidst a pool of blood and grime. Censorship walked out of the door leaving its victim destroyed and disfigured, forgotten by the world.
Like I said before to you, this is really great. I actually enjoyed reading it a lot, even the violent parts. :x <3
Nicely done. :) Not really much of a writter/reader but it was a nice read. Keep up the good work. ^_^
Thanks dear, I am glad you liked it because as I said, writing in anything but first person is a challenge for me, so I was expecting it to bomb.
There were a few passages that didn't sound 100%, and i'll show you them later, but right now i'm gonna focus on the statement you are trying to make concerning the problem of censorship. Using the basis of a story that would make many feel uneasy is a strong leap of faith for any writer, but the underlying question of censorship and what it gets away with and how it destroys a writer was beautifully crafted. Reading through this twice was necessary to fully appreciate the gravity of the final few lines. Great piece Kay
I was hoping you would see this. Firstly, yes please I would appreciate that, I know that it isn't perfect and there are some parts that I am not entirely sure about myself now in retrospect, so any advice/crit etc you could give me would be fantastic. You know I respect your opinion pretty damn highly. Secondly, thank you very much for the praise, seriously that meant a lot to me, I nearly did a real live action version of the wavy-arms emote. Thank you.
Your talent of describing pain and suffering is eerily admirable, and the way you shape it into a metaphor is stunning and saves you from being labeled as a literary Marilyn Manson ("shock for the sake of shock"). Perhaps you should have hinted at that metaphor a bit sooner. That's all I have to say on it though. It looks great as it is. Kudos to you.
Thank you :3 that actually really made me smile because recently I have been being labelled as "fucked up in the head" a lot from things I have written which can really get to a girl after a while. I was unsure as to when to bring it in, I didn't want to reveal it too soon, but I wasn't sure if it was too late. <3 thanks bunches. You know, I was really expecting this to bomb, so everyone's responses to me are like wow.
