Ninjas.

What? Did you actually think I would stop?


1. In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
2. Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
3. People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
4. Chuck Norris has the heart of a child. He keeps it in a small box.
5. On Chuck Norris' birthday he selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
6. Mr. T pities a fool. Chuck Norris rips a fools head off.
7. TNT was created to cure Chuck Norris' indigestion.
8. In the medical community, death is referred to as the "Chuck Norris disease".
9. Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked a salesman. Over the phone.
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
11. Chuck Norris once ate four thirty pound bowling balls. Without chewing.
12. Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse-kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don't be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.
13. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to was 60 minutes.
14. There are no such thing as tornadoes. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
15. If you work in a office with Chuck Norris don't ask for a three-hole punch.
16. Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.
17. Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
18. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because Chuck Norris only knows the element of surprise.
19. Chuck Norris knows every definition in the English dictionary except the definition of mercy.
20. Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.
21. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters. By knit he means punch and by sweaters he means babies.
22. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.
23. Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese means: "Crouching Chuck, hidden Norries."
24. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
25. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
26. Chuck Norris can shoot someone and still have time to roundhouse kick them in the face before the bullet meets its mark.
27. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
28. Chuck Norris is so bad he makes virus' sick. As such, Chuck Norris is responsible for the eradication of small pox.
29. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
30. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in only three moves.
31. Chuck Norris has no ctrl key on his keyboard. He is always in control.
32. Chuck Norris doesn't have a watch. HE decides what time it is.
33. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
34. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver and won.
35. When Chuck Norris was born the only person who cried was the doctor, never slap Chuck Norris.
36. Chuck Norris once ordered a Big Mac at McDonald's and got one.
37. Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
38. Chuck Norris once ate a whole bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
39. The original titles Alien vs Predator was actually Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The movie production was canceled because no one would pay eleven dollars to see a fourteen second film.
40. When Chuck Norris found this thread on KHV he roundhouse-kicked his computer... It automatically added 10 more facts. Including this one...
41. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
42. When Chuck Norris does a push up he doesn't push up he pushes to Earth down.
43. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
44. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of colours. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
45. When Bruce Banner gets mad he turns into the Hulk. When The Hulk gets mad he turns into Chuck Norris.
46. Chuck Norris doesn't read. He simply stares at books until they give him all the information he needs.
47. Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
48. If at first you don't succeed you're not Chuck Norris.
49. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
50. Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

 

Haterz gonna hate.

 

He's 70 now lol

 

I bet no one knows who this is =[

 

This meme is now killed. I hoe you're happy.

 

You forgot
51. Chuck Norris lost to Bruce Lee

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?

 

What the heck is this, dawg?

 

The ery first ninjas, or Musa, were Monks in Korea that were forced to emigrate to Japan

 

I feel bad for only watching because of Bruce Lee's muscles.

EDIT: K they got kinda gross.

 

Yes, to put it quite frank.

 

What's gross is Chuck Norris' chest hair.

 

You messed up number 36. It's supposed to be that he ordered a Big Mac at Burger King.

 

# 52: This Story (once it's finished): http://www.kh-vids.net/showthread.php?t=101582

 

no not rly.