*Yawn* sleepy time. Nightie time. In my pj's time. Time for sleep. Time for dreams. Time for bed. Nightie night. Turn off the light. Say good night. Time for bed sleepy head. So sleepy *dozes off* I'm awake! lol^^ my night time poem it always puts the dog to sleep.... I wonder why???/ >.<
It was . . . good, the only thing is the structure. The poem didn't really have a consistency to it *a beat* It was more of a haiku but that is okay, you got your point across so that is all that matters. You will get better don't worry :ff10sora: <he agrees with me. There it is, definitely enjoyed it :)
hehe you think so *rubs back of head* I'm new to poetry. My Enligh teacher says that I need to work on it too so I guess more practice would be very useful Thanx Night^^ And the fact is I wrote that in the middle of the night wile I was half asleep so that must be why lol^^
Knowing that you're new to poetry, this was handled very well. It was basic and you didn't try to do too much with it and make it perfect in everything (as a lot of people here tend to do (myself included)). It was carefree and simple and it succeeded in being what it was trying to be, or at least seems to, which is just as good.
Can't sleep. Though I don't dare make a peep. Lying there awake. I start to shake. I'm scared. And feel impaired. I can't hide from 'it'. 'It' knows where I sit. Make 'it' go away. Please just stay. The dreams are scary. 'It's big and hairy! Make 'it' go away. Make my dream never stay. 'It' haunts my dreams. 'It' makes me scream. So turn on the light. And case away the night. Please scare away, this nightmare. I had a scary dream :unsure: and it got me inspired to wright another poem. So I'm just going to lye here... awake till it goes away..... So scary :crybaby:
*Jaw drops* OMG, you went from looking like a begginer to looking like an expert . . . you sure you haven't done this before. The grammar and spelling looked good. You are awsome! There it is . . . amazing :D
Aww you having a scary dream about him again? *hugs* Aww no worries NoN's here to chase him away^^ it was very good NL^^
You really think so Night. I was scared big time so I just wrote my feeling down :sweatdrop: And ya I am new to this I'm surprised that you guys like it but I'm glade you do^^ maybe I should be scared more so that it gives me even more good Ideas <.< lol and thanks NoN^^ *hugs back*
/shrug Do whatever. My poems are usually sad as of late so I write whenever I'm sad. If you write well when you're scared then write when you're scared. Either way I don't really make myself sad but whatever works for you works for you.
Whats there to fear. It's to bad for words. Everything is a lie. Turds. The dream is back and as bad as ever. I thought it was gone forever. It's breathing harder. Faster. I run but not fast enough. It's way to tough. Pull me out. Hear my shout. you never know where It is. But It's always watching, Liz. It knows where we are, and how far. I can't take it kill me now. Let me hear the last sound. Let me see why you want me there. But why me. Why go this far. For someone you don't know. Why go so low. What's there to fear? The future? Or my past tear.
The structure could still use some more work, grammar and spelling good though and another bad dream :( hope you feeling better. Spoiler Merry dreams help sow the seams that once were ripped when one has slipped feel better soon look at the moon Nights of a feather must stay together This poem is for you for feeling blue and with love and care friendship I share :) Hope this cheered you up, this one is dedicated to you NightLight
This is really good, and as Night said, you went from begginer one post, to awsome the next, the way you made this one rhyme reminds me of how I sometimes do my poems, just keep putting out what your heart says for you to write, it will always be better than constantly preening over things, trying to make it complex and perfect, a short freestyle poem can be just as moving as an epic, if you do it right. (sorry about the heart reference, I'm kinda really into kingom hearts)
