Naruto: Mizu Nami (Naruto: Water Wave)

I was drawing a pic then this story came to me. It will be aired in episodes.

opening theme

Naruto: Mizu Nami (Naruto: Water Wave)

Shikaki – Temari & Shikamaru’s son
Age: 15
Rank: chunin
Team: Choushi, Inoue, Touza (squad leader)
Sibling(s): Kaze (sister)
Other: Great at Shadow Possession Jutsu and weapons

Choushi- Chouji’s son
Age: 14
Rank: genin
Team: Shikaki, Inoue, Touza (squad leader)
Sibling(s):
Other: Has mastered partial expansion Jutsu

Inoue- Ino & Rock Lee’s daughter
Age: 14
Team: Shikaki, Choushi, Touza (squad leader)
Sibling(s):
Other: Great at taijutsu and genjutsu. Looks like Ino but has black hair. Has some medical jutsus.

Touza – Asuma & Kurenai’s son
Age: 27
Rank: jonin
Team: Shikaki, Choushi, Inoue
Sibling(s):
Other: Great at fire jutsus. Always has a toothpick in his mouth.

(Characters for now, more will come)

Episode 1: Wake up! The first mission of the day!


Shikaki was asleep in his bed. Suddenly he heard a knock on his window.

“Come on Shikaki. Wake up.”

Shikaki sighed. “Might as well.” He got up and grabbed his ninja headband on. He pulled out his overcoat and strapped two fuuma shuriken to his left arm. “Let’s go.” He opened his window and jumped out into the busy street.

“The 6th Hokage wants to see us.”

“Is he there?”

“No.”

“Good. I can’t stand him”

Shikaki landed on the Hokage’s window seal. “You wanted to see us sir?”

“Hey Shikaki.”

"Hey Choushi. Anyway, why did you summon us?”

“Simple. Your team has the joy of going to help train ninja in the village hidden in the Mist.”

“Yes sir!” The trio replied.

“You are dismissed.”

Later at the village’s edge

“What a drag.”

“Come on how many genin get to do this?” Inoue asked.

“I’m chunin.” Shikaki replied.

“Just come on.” Choushi said while munching on a bag of chips.

“Will you ever stop eating?” Inoue asked Choushi.

“You don’t know Choushi well enough do you? If you take away the chips he will be extremely angry. I tried that one.”

“Hey guys.”

“Hey Touza.” The team answered.

“Ready?”

“Whatever.”

“Of course. Just let me fix my hair.”

“Let me finish this bag first.” Choushi shook the bag until what was left was in his mouth.
Touza sighed. “A slacker, a diva, and an eating machine. Why me?”

“Let’s just go.”

Next time on Naruto: Mizu Nami –

The team learns that their mission is not just training the ninja but to compete in the Hidden Mist’s fighting challenge. If they lose… death?

 

well that was good! Good use of humor. I love the line about the slacker,a diva, and an eating machine.

 

Thank you. Just to telly you here are the couples:

NarutoxHinata
ShikamaruxTemari
InoxRock Lee
SasukexSakura
NejixTenten

Episode 2: Arrival at the Mist Village

“Hey I can see the village from here.”

“Hold it.” Inoue stopped.

“What now?”

“I have to make myself look pretty.”

Shikaki sighed and sat down. “We’ll be here for hours.”

“What is that suppose to mean?”

“You just screwed up Shikaki.” Choushi pulled out a bag of barbecue potato chips.

“Choushi, stop eating. Inoue, stop trying to make yourself look better. Shikaki, stop annoying Inoue.” Touza said firmly.

“What do you mean stop trying to make myself look better? Are you saying that it doesn’t work?” Inoue asked Touza angrily.

“Let’s just get to the village.” Shikaki stood up and walked toward the edge of the woods. Man Inoue is almost has a temper as bad as my mom’s. Shikaki shivered at the thought.

Later in the Hidden Mist Village

“Thank you Mizukage, for letting us help you.” Touza replied.

“There is more. I want your team to compete in our little challenge. If you win, well then you get free food for the rest of your life when you visit here.”

“Let’s enter.” Choushi said with a gleam in his eye.

“And if we lose?” Shikaki asked.

“Nothing will happen.” Inoue replied.

“Actually if you lose, you might just die. This is no ordinary challenge. We are hunting for some missing-nin.”

“That’s it? If we win, free food. If we lose, death. I think I’ll pass.” Shikaki said.

“Actually you can pick your prize.”

“Like a new make-up kit?”

“Or free food?”

“Exactly."

“Let’s do it.” Inoue said, with Choushi nodding in agreement.

“How long do we have?” Shikaki asked finally agreeing to the tournament.

“One week.”

“Oh joy.”

“How many missing-nin are we trying to find?”

“Well we need to find 4 more of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, plus maybe 20 more.”

“24 ninja. Got it.”

“What happens if two teams tie?”

“Sudden death.”

“What kind of sudden death?”

“That depends on the citizens of the village. Usually it is a fight. We have had one where it was a race.”

“So nothing serious?”

“Yes. Nothing serious.” The Mizukage looked away.

“Let’s start the training."


Next time on Naruto: Mizu Nami –

The Konoha ninja start to train the genin of the Mist Village. Shikaki also learns a terrible secret.

 

O.O you changed the couples because of what i said huh? anyways, good story and nice mix of humour with seriousness... also: Is Naruto the hokage? you never did say who was the hokage...

 

Keep going, its really good. I Love how you can go from serious to funny is a sec.

 

its good, i loved the 1st chapter, and neji& tenten..... WOW! thers a surprise, whatever it your story, i cant wait for the next chapter.

 

Sorry about the late update. I almost had it complete then my computer kicked me off. Here we go the next episode.


Episode 3: A Secret Revealed!

“Give me that back!â€

“No.â€

“Just give me the bag Inoue!â€

“No.â€

“Human Boulder!â€

Inoue barely manages to get out of the way.

“Give me the potato chips.â€

Inoue pulled out a potato chip.

“Needle Human Boulder!â€

Inoue jumped out of the way. She slowly put the chip onto her mouth. “Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Spicy!!!â€
Choushi ran forward and grabbed the bag. Then he started to laugh.

“How can you stand that?â€

“I am Akimichi.â€

“Hey guys.â€

“Hey Touza. Where were you? Spying on women no doubt.â€

“I was not. Hey where is Shikaki?â€

“One of the genin wanted to show him something.â€



Where Shikaki is

“What do you want to show me?â€

“Actually I wanted to tell you something.â€

“And that is?â€

“My uncle is still alive.â€

“Who is your uncle?â€

“Haku.â€

“Wait. Didn’t he get killed by saving Zabuza?â€

“He lived. He is the one actually running this tournament.â€

“Why should I be concerned about that?â€

“He is out for revenge. When the tournament starts, al of the Mist ninja are suppose to kill your team.â€


Next time on Naruto Mizu Nami –

Shikaki learns why that genin told him the secret. And Inoue and Choushi get in an argument.

 

I'll give you an honest answer. The storyline works. The grammars ok. But then, that's and of course. Your story consists nearly all talking scenes, which is fairly annoying after a long read. You have almost no long paragraphs writing, which causes the story quality to dwindle so fast, my mum would thank the gods that I failed my exams. Either you're being lazy or you're afraid that things won't work out if you don't wirte this way, it fails literally. Please improve by reading more books. And fear not to try new stuff.

Or else, you might as well put the title as "Naruto:Mizu Nami (Pure Dialogue and Nothing Else)".

 

Yeah I know that it is all dialouge. I actually started writing with little or no dialouge. I will try to do better.

aboutthe reading mor books, that made me laugh. I read way too much actually. Thanks for the help

 

Soory for putting this up months ago. I just had a huge writer's block and when it was over, I was intersted in something else. Blame my ADHD ( i need to be tested for it) Well here is the next episode. Just a few changes.

1. I won't be using diffrent color text to tell the people apart.
2. There is still some humor.
3. I will TRY to make the paragraphs longer and have more action.
4. I always read (reed) the newest Naruto manga chapters so things might change.

Episode 4: Back from the grave? Haku lives!

Shikaki tried to figure this problematic situation out. He scratched his forehead. "This doesn't make any sense. No one has survived Kakashi-sensei's Lightning Blade at that close range." He sighed. "That kid is probably lying. But if he isn't lying then Haku would pose as a major threat to the Leaf Village." Shikaki looked at the young boy. The boy just smiled at him nicely. "You seem too nice to kill me." Shikaki muttered.

"Don't underestimate people by their apperance." A voice said behind Shikaki. The Leaf chunin barely had enough time to get out of the way. He pulled one of two fuuma shuriken off of his overcoat. The teenage chunin looked at the Mist genin, but the boy was no longer there. "Why did you tell me?!!" Shikaki yelled. He heard the boy giggle.

"Because...He wanted the Leaf to have a chance. Won't this be fun?"

"Fun? Killing people is fun? If we die, more and more Leaf Ninja will come here and the Mist Village will be no more."

"I don't care. Goodbye...for now." The boy laughed again. The laugh lingered for a moment then dissipated. Shikaki looked around him to the surronding forest. He didn't see or hear anyone. The teenage genius made a run for it. He barely got ten feet before he heard:

"Ninja Art: 1,000 Needles of Death!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Commercial break
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"I bet that you were spying on women. I can't believe you. My sensei, a pervert. You are almost as bad as the Hokage." Inoue fussed. The black haired girl stormed off in a huff.

"Were you peeking at women?" Choushi asked Touza, munching on the spicy chips that he always ate.

"Well... I wouldn't say peeking. More of finding them half nude by accident." The jonin chuckled a little, turning a shade of bright red. The toothpick in his mouth sagged a little. "Look. I didn't see anything."

"What? Did they see you that soon?" Choushi joked. Their sensei could usually be found near the female spa back in the Leaf Village. He was there so much, the 6th Hokage had to put up guards so he wouldn't get in. "What is taking Shikaki so long?"

"Quit worrying. He can take of himself. Besides, if he is ever in enough danger, Shikaki could always use those two."

"Yeah that is true. Still." Choushi said between bites. He felt around the bag in his hand. There were no more chips. He crumbled up the bag and set it beside him. There were about five other empty bags of chips. Choushi pulled out another chip bag. "Mmmm. Soy sauce and vinegar. My favorite." He started to shovel handful after handful into his mouth. "Want some?" the genin asked. Touza shooked his head and placed a hand over his mouth. "More for me then." Choushi smiled. He continued eating.

"Excuse me." Touza said. He stood up and walked behind a tree. Choushi could heard him throwing up.

"Hey, where is ...EWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" Inoue screamed. "That is gross! Don't throw up in public!"
_________________________________________

Next time on Naruto Mizu Nami-
What happened to Shikaki? Who are the two Touza and Choushi talked about?
Next time: Ordered Assitance

 

you know why itachi REALLY betrayed Uchiha? lol

and it was ok, could've been better but you'll improve on your own there... and i seriously think you're mis-portraying Haku, even in the event of his and Zabuza's deaths he was placid and hated to fight... now he's starting a war...

 

Years of not feeling wanted can change a person that much. Don't forget that factor. Like Naruto being more perverted after 2 1/2 years, Haku became enraged and had enough time to formulate a plan of revenge. Wouldn't you be angry if the only person who valued your existence was killed and you were left alive?