My Pokéface You can't read it Chapter One: Goodbye, Wanderlust Spoiler: Chapter One And so our story begins, in the region of KRUUZ, where every landmark is named in ALL CAPS because... well, you get that, specifically in the southmost city, WANDERLUST, a young man begins his epic journey, and thereby leaving his parents house without so much as a single dollar on his person. This young man was Des Ignated, a boy that could not have been more fitting for a main character role if he’d been bitten by a radioactive protagonist. He said his goodbyes to his family, mounted his backpack, and rode it to the outskirts of his hometown, looking back at the great community for the last time. “Well, here’s to a good journey!” he said to himself, before taking his first step past the boundary of WANDERLUST. “STOP!” a voice boomed out from behind him, almost making him stumble in shock, despite not touching the ground anyway. “YOU CANNOT GO ANY FURTHER!” The voice came from the well-known Professor Bonsai, who was so well known because Professor was not his title, but rather his actual first name. “IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE!” he boomed once more, thrusting a red-and-white ball towards the young man, “TAKE THIS!” Des Ignated raised the ball into the air, where it hovered approximately three inches from his hands, as a GET Jingle played, apparently from nowhere. “What is it?” Des Ignated asked, eager to learn the identity of what would undoubtedly be his best friend and lifelong partner from now on, if the games were correct on anything. “It’s a f*ckin’ Pokéball, kid. What are you, stupid?” Professor replied. Des Ignated was dumbstruck for a moment. “I mean, like, what kind of Pokémon is it? How does it do the things it does?” “I see,” the false Professor replied, understanding the question now, “You want me to share with you the secrets deep inside?” “Sod it,” the boy suddenly exclaimed, pressing the central button on the Pokéball, “I’ll find out myself.” A red beam shot from the ball, quickly forming a humanoid shape, before dispersing into the air, leaving behind a brown-tan creature that stood staring at its new trainer. It was a Hitmonchan, a pair of blue boxing gloves adorning its hands. The gloves themselves were strange, since normally only ‘Shiny’ versions of the species wore blue gloves, which this creature did not appear to be. By the time Des Ignated had turned to ask Professor Bonsai about this, he had gone. He had a bad habit of vanishing when nobody was looking, usually putting it down to frame rate issues when later found. Nevertheless, he kicked down sharply on his bag, before continuing to ride it onwards to the next town over, INFATUATION. Meanwhile, the Hitmonchan had to walk the whole way. Chapter Two: Surprise! Spoiler: Chapter Two It took a few moments for Des Ignated to come to. It seemed that he had passed out in the tall grass for some reason; he couldn’t recall why. And strangely enough he had the feeling that he had done literally nothing, not even breathe, in the last thirty-four days, though quite why the feeling was so specific he didn’t know. Slowly and carefully, he stood up and looked around him. Sure enough, he was just within the outskirts of INFATUATION, a town that was so well-known in KRUUZ because there was absolutely nothing significant about it whatsoever which, quite ironically, was in itself significant in a region full of ridiculous gimmicks. It did have the first Pokémon gym, however. Des Ignated paused for a while, trying to reason to himself why people called it the first gym when there was hardly anyone living in either this town or the neighbouring city, WANDERLUST. He eventually shrugged and put it down to a combination of poor road planning and gameplay mechanics and headed straight towards the nearest gym, his Hitmonchan following closely behind wondering why nobody had bothered to help his master in the month he had been laying there. The music started up the moment he entered the building, and Des Ignated was perplexed as to why there were webs all over the floor and walls. “****.” the Hitmonchan suddenly said, resigned, “It’s a goddamn Bug gym.” As if being summoned, the weirdest human being that Des Ignated had ever seen crawled down from the ceiling in an awful attempt at a Spinarak costume. Why was it that every Gym Leader was a nut for their type? Was it some kind of legal requirement that a Gym had to be run by nutjobs? “Sup bro? Ah’m teh Gym Leeder here!” the guy said in horribly slurred English. He was either drunk, or... oh god, was he even wearing fangs to go with the outfit? “Is this what I have to look forward to?!” Des Ignated suddenly cried out in horror. “The back of the game box said that I had to choose a Pokémans, beat the Gyms, and Catch ‘Em All. So far I’ve had a starter I didn’t want forced on me, had my eyes violated by your existence, and not encountered a single Pokémon!” he continued, growing redder and redder. “Dis not coo’ bro.” The Gym Leader responded dumbly, still not completely down from the ceiling. “You know what? I’m outta here!” Des Ignated said at last, still glowing red. Des Ignated used Explosion! “Wait, wh—“ ~~~ “And that’s why I had to skip the first Gym and come straight here.” A girl stated to her travelling companion as they continued on the path towards the second Gym. “Some kid exploded in the Gym? That’s hilarious!” the short-haired companion answered, holding back her laughter as hard as she could. They stopped in front of the double-doors, both of which had a flame-like emblem engraved into the face of them, showing the element that trainers could expect there. “Just so we’re clear though... don’t you go exploding in my Gym, right?” she finally said jokingly, opening the doors and letting them both inside. ~~~ Hey guys, remember when I said I was making a Pokémon fanfiction? I actually bothered to do it. So far we've only got two suggested characters in; Professor Bonsai and Des Ignated. If you've been keeping up, you know exactly how well things are going to go with the latter. CnC is appreciated, but bare in mind this whole story is mostly for fun.
Well, this is pretty funny. The names and narration add to the charm and your style of comedic writing is pretty cute. Keep up the good work, and don't forget your Fire-type second gym leader, Cat.
Great job! I loved it! I didn't notice any spelling and grammar errors, so kudos to you. My favorite parts are how Des Ignated rides his backpack and how all if the landmarks have "romantic" names. I can't wait to read more DarkTraitor! ^-^
...Somebody call a doctor, cause I just died up in here. Twinny, I love you even more now. This short little intro is so cute (And funny)! And how you made the names bold reminded me of how they did it in the Pokemon games. I also like the humour you put in there dear~ Pwease continue this and Darkness, I will die again if you don't.
Wow, Nice first chapter, seems cool, you did good writing it, and i honestly have no Negative critique What-so-ever.
Amazing! I just can not wait for my character to join the party xD The fanfic/crackfic will be epic xD
You have showed me the awesome level you posses traitor, -achievement unlocked- Keep up the good work, I love the Zelda references.
I am liking this so far. Your way of writing it is rather amusing,and it is easy to read,which is most lovely. Just name a random stalker Pokemon Daxa,and all is good. Great work,keep it up <3
love it! can people be made!? if so put this guy Blazer team:charmander lv14 squirtle lv 15 venisaur lv 55 and a charazard lv 75 EDIT: full discript bio ok uh name:Blazer team:charmander lv14 squirtle lv 15 venisaur lv 55 and a charazard lv 75 starter diversity exam er (which is long for he study starters evolutionary patterns) develops new pokeballs in spare time gear: mostly red black orange and browns and is normally just wearing a mid arm leanght shirt (kinda like a long sleeve but shorter) some orange jeans and some red and black shoes age 15
Good job ^^ Its really well written-Your writing style is unique and awesome xD No negative Criticism.
I agree with this sentiment and would like to add that if you do not post anything, I will have nothing to edit.
HAHA, DISREGARD THAT. Seriously though, the second chapter... is up. It's there on the first page waiting, so go have a look. It's not much longer than Chapter One but... come on, I kept people waiting long enough without that. Sorry, I guess I'd rather post more often with small chapters than hardly at all with long ones. OH, AND GUESS WHO THOSE CHARACTERS AT THE END ARE.
Yay! New chapter! I liked it! As for guess on who the poeple are-I have no idea. XD Maybe the girl is me since (I think lol) asked to be included.
For everyone who doesn't remember, I asked to be the Fire-type gym leader (specifically, the leader of the second gym). Thankd for following through on that, DT. I can't wait for the next chapter. I look forward to seeing how you interpret my fighting style (hint: i'm a total hothead and I always go for the offensive attacks. I guess that's why the fire type suits me).
Great job! The only mistake I saw was in the third sentence. There should be an e at the end of that breath. For the sake of all your readers, please continue!!!
Breath and Breathe are pure evil. Fix'd it now. And yes, that was Cat at the end. But who might the trainer be?! Here's a clue; she hasn't posted since the chapter was put up. /trolling
