This has been going on for about a year or so, at least that's how long I've seen/heard her mentioning killing herself, which I believe started when she moved into university. There were gaps in between where I was glad and thought she was getting better, but now that she's graduated college, I've seen nothing on her Tumblr but posts about death, depression, and trying to figure out how to commit suicide without having someone to stop her. I have constantly tried to talk to her about it, give her some optimism and realism, but clearly it's not working. Guys, I really don't know what else to do. My girlfriend mentioned potentially getting police involved, but I think that's the last resort. I've known her since elementary school.
This may sound like an obvious or a silly question, but is she serious? There are often times when people say stuff like that, but don't actually mean it, though they sound serious.
Honestly if you believe she could really be serious and really go through with it, any chance at all, then you should get someone involved who can actually intervene and prevent her from hurting herself. You may not want to be that person, but on some level those posts and mentions of suicide are a cry for help and if she doesn't get that help then something horrible could happen. Weather it be police or her family, tell someone who can do something. She may get upset at you for intervening, but sooner or later she will be thankful for your help. She needs someone to care enough to help her if this is truly a serious thing.
She responded to the rant I sent her last night, saying that they were empty words that she doesn't plan to act on. I really don't know what to believe when it comes to her and this stuff, but I'll keep an eye on what she says as I have been, and if it gets to be serious enough, I'm telling her friends and family about it.
If you care about your friend, do not do this. The police have a tendency to treat these as criminal cases. They come to arrest someone. It makes matters worse. If you need help, have someone who wants a peaceful resolution do it.
I don't treat this shit lightly, no matter what medium. She's posting these things for a reason, and I'm not simply going to ignore it. I'll gladly take a call for some attention over an actual suicidal desire. It's a last resort, and I don't honestly expect it to get this bad. I'd go to her parents before this, and potentially even call a suicide hotline for her.
You're right to treat this as a serious matter, even if you don't believe she will actually go through with the act. People in stable headspaces don't constantly mention death and suicide (or at least, not in a "I want to die" way). People unfortunately read these sorts of posts as "oh she's just looking for attention" and maybe that's true, but a person has to have some serious troubles if they're resorting to something like this to get attention. It's a cry for help, and either we can blame them for looking for attention or brush it off as "oh she's not seriously going to do it," but there's still a person there who needs help. And even if you think the possibility of her following through is low, this isn't the sort of scenario where you want to be taking chances. Assuming the two of you are close, do you know if she has a history of depression or something similar? Does she see any kind of counselor? How is her living/home/family situation? I'm not expecting you to answer these things in this thread of course, but if she's going through a rough time at home or something, that could be what's causing it; if it's something like depression, there may not be a clear 'cause,' and therefore there's a different route to handling the situation. The absolute best and minimum thing you can do, which I'm sure you already know, is to be there for her, but know what you're getting into. I can try to dig up some posts I've saved on tumblr on the subject, but this is obviously a very delicate position you're putting yourself into. I know you're a nice guy Haya and your instinct is probably to say "I don't matter I just want to help her," but it can be incredibly difficult thing to become someone's support system for their depression or depressive behavior. Sometimes it can even begin to impact your own mental health. You have to be really aware of what you're saying and doing, and if you make promises like saying you're here to help and she can contact you any time and that you're not going anywhere, you better be prepared to follow through on those things. Sometimes the best thing you can do is make sure that she has the number of a suicide hotline and helping her to find a counselor or therapist (if possible). Of course, you should support her however you can, but be careful.
