Hey, I just started writing poetry, and I would appreciate some feedback, whether it be good, or bad. I'm sad because you remind me of myself. And that's someone nobody wants to be. Because, you get in this like, spiral, and you don't think that you can get out. And you don't care, because it feels good. Powerful. And you want to die, because nobody would care anyway. And you do harm to yourself, because nobody wants you. And you feel so alone. And you cry. Well, maybe not the cry part, but, You know, you don't think that you can get out, and you get happy about that. It's fun destroying yourself, when nobody's there. When nobody notices the tears you hide, or the lies and scars, so well washed upon your skin, fresh from this mornings activities, and last night's festivities. It's a rush, when you can do things that you shouldn't and can kill you. And it hurts the ones you love the dearest. It's the ultimate high. I don't like this one as much, but I wrote it for a friend, and what she was going through. Cry little girl. Cry all your tears. Cry for mommy and daddy and all your worst fears. Don't hold back, the time is near, you need to release, to feel, and to hear. Don't fake being happy, with a crooked smile on your face; there's no need to lie, just memories to erase. Cry about your famliy, your friends, and past loves. Cry about your scars, your ugly, and your sister spending all her time at bars. Cry about the drugs, the poverty, the lies. Cry your eyes out, little girl, let them fall like rainshine. Cry your hardest, it'll all be over soon. And when it's all said and done, you will be the one who wasn't fooled.
Puppet. And the poor puppet cried, while the wind whistled through her empty strings; her master never letting her stop. The puppet wanted freedom, but no one would cut her strings. So she did it herself. And it hurt, but she was released. At least until the strings reattached themselves, and she got tangled up. Nowhere to reach, every move controlled. She couldn't move, Couldn't speak. So she let her master have his way. And finally, the puppet gave up.
Merged this with your other thread dear, poets can only have one thread each in this section <3 Puppet is simple but so cute and sweet D: sad, again in a very simple way. I guess you don't like poems with any sort of rhythm, but you might want to think about it if you're going to write again. Your vocabulary is decent but I advise against using semi colons ";" in poetry- I used to do it but it looks messy. Sweet poems <3
