Sitting here alone, I wish for you. Iwish for the days when You had feelings for me, too. Those days seem, Oh so far away by now. When we sat together at A cafe on the town, And you told me that you loved me. And that this was always true, Now it's just a broken promise. One made by you. We were young lovers, So tender, and bright! Now it seems that you have left. You, my only light. So now I sit here writing this poem As my heart begins to bleed, And it seems unfair that so far away, Yours still sometimes beats. Please comment freely
Sitting here alone, I wish for you. Iwish for the days when you need a space between I and wish You had feelings for me, too. why is there a comma following me? did someone else have feelings for you at that time? Those days seem, Oh so far away by now. When we sat together at A cafe on the town, Should this be a period ending? And you told me that you loved me. And that this was always true, My favorite stanza Now it's just a broken promise. One made by you. We were young lovers, So tender, and bright! Good emotions with the addition of the ! Now it seems that you have left. You, my only light. Raw, and emotional good. So now I sit here writing this poem As my heart begins to bleed, And it seems unfair that so far away, Yours still sometimes beats. good conclusion, but this last line doesn't entirely seem to fit for me. It may be the wording
Yours still sometimes beats. good conclusion, but this last line doesn't entirely seem to fit for me. It may be the wording[/COLOR][/QUOTE] I agree, the last part doesnt really make sence... other then that, I liked it!
