Love and War

Again, i'd say you need more details of the charactors emotions and physical appearance. If you want me to help with that stuff I will.

But Its Good, Better Than Mine!

 

A bit short. And same problems as the last one and that word it isn't exposition it's something else it just escapes me now. Oh well keep writing if your anything not like me you'll get it right and hey people are already posting I have nine sections out and no one reads oddly I don't mind. I think you'll get it right soon enough. Just do your best.
Damn song!

 

IT SOUNDS LIKE MY STORY!!!!! And im fine with To!!!! I shall go read your story!

 

Hehhehe! MORE MORE! FAST HURRY! Jk but I do want more but take your time :P

 

I loveded it!!! Write more!!!

 

what everyone else has been saying. WHen do you think the next one will come out?

 

thats what i want to know

have you read Crimson fate before?

 

Ooooos...
More please!


.... yes I'm being told to be an outcast of society TT^TT...
but I can't help it... I'm been being lazy and going to parties... ^.^

 

im so sorry peoples! i havent been typing my story even though i should have *hits self* but i have been typing in it for a while now and is back! i have changed the beginning of the story to your advice and hope you read it, again, sorry T^T

 

I like it :P
Write more :D

 

Okay, I saw how you went back and changed it. THe descriptions are good, but you might want to tell us what they look like, as soon as we meet them, not at the end of the chapter. Better though!

 

T^T im really not good at that sorta stuff, i can write like the middle of the story and the end, but not the very biggining when the charecters are first starting out T^T thanks for helping me every one!

 

Somebody: XIII

Loved it! I put the wrong topic of my post though, sorry!