My thoughts run through my head And my blood slowly spills Like the waterfall of lies My body is a shell Screams of shattered glass And nightmares of the forgotten Leaving me with an empty shell Of nothing, but a pool of blood The skin screams As the razor shrieks My tears build And my tears fade The blood rises And turns to black My heart shatters My heart screams As the spill grows Thorns grow And a black bud appears And and the black rose rises My heart still aches My heart still screams And as my pain continues So does my love for you ***************************************************** I wrote this when my ex broke up with me so it's self explanatory, so what do you guys think?
Uuuummmmhhhhh, not gonna lie . . . it was a bit depressing but then again breakups always are. You use explicit detail, and the littlest of ryhming which explains that the poem has deep meening to you. Most of mine ryhme a lot but they are not as serious as this one. I give it a ten for the grammar use, and the actual seriousness of it. There it is, enjoyed it big time :cryinganime:
Thanks for the rating, I haven't really wrote a poem in a really long time actually so this one was pretty important to me other than the fact it released my feelings, it also was a way to show how I write... Which I'm glad you enjoyed it
Untitled In the Empty shell known as a heart Darkness rises Darkness Falls And I drop in the dead of silence My Tears Build As my eyes fade to white My Blood swells from the emptiness left behind I Cry Myself to sleep I feel alone The empty feeling of a worthless soul The pain I thought I left behind Reappeared in a sea of forgotten dreams Skreiks of Bloodless battles Shatter dreams of the lost Battles wage within my head With mixed emotions Feel for the pain Die in vain Gone with shame Love is just a game… Love is an endless battle And pain is the endless effects Never ending process of lies Is it really worth the destruction of your heart? Feel the pain of your forgotten pretend soldiers Known as the memories locked in the heart Pain that increases the more it sets My pain of the forgetfulness *********************************** Another poem, still feeling the effects of the break up Any comments?
I loved it but one thing, be prepared for a mod to warn you on multiple threads and then combine your two threads. You can only have one here but all you have to do is post them in your thread. You may want to go ahead and get Juicy or someone to do it for you but just figured I would let you know, this is too keep the server free and not so cluttered. UUUmmhh, never mind ill get him for you, he will ask you what you want the name to be though. It was a great poem, again a bit depressing but still lovely. I hope you feel better about it soon, and . . . There it is, could not have enjoyed that more :)
A good poem with lots of thought and feeling I felt like I was the one in pain. And don't worry you'll find another you just have to wait. Keep up the good work^^
Thanks for informing me of this Night, but I check this section every day and generally don't need notifying when threads need to be merged. As stated, I'll change the name of the thread on demand. Oh and guys, I'm a girl.
