Let us play a quick game, Spam Zone.

http://www.madlibs.org/cgi-bin/madlib?hamlet.ml2

Please post the subsequent results, good sirs and madams.

EDIT: I am also adding this as a possible option until an undead J.D. Salinger begins to pester me in my sleep.

 

To be, or not to transform, -- that is the Kamen Rider;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Gaia Memory to suffer
The slings and Rider Belts of hard-boiled fortune,
Or to take slippers against a sea of books,
And by searching end them. To die, -- to type, --
No more; and by a type to say we end
The fedora and the 26 natural shocks
That flesh is detective to,-- 'tis a vest
coolly to be wish'd. To die, --- to type,--
To type! perchance to break! ay, there's the Maximum Drive;
For in that type of death what Dopants may come
When we have destroyed off this stupid coil,
Must give us manager....

...wut.

 

To be, or not to Waterbend, -- that is the Your mom;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Windows 7 to suffer
The slings and fishes of suckish fortune,
Or to take games against a sea of pocky,
And by annihilating end them. To die, -- to surf, --
No more; and by a surf to say we end
The Prince Zuko and the 800 natural shocks
That flesh is pimp daddy to,-- 'tis a Keyblade
intrepidly to be wish'd. To die, --- to surf,--
To surf! perchance to bark! ay, there's the elephant;
For in that surf of death what Friends from the Other Side may come
When we have invaded off this wicked (the good kind) coil,
Must give us router....

Yeah...go Avatar binge!

 

i lol'd...


To be, or not to jump, -- that is the John;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Missy to suffer
The slings and Crowns of blue fortune,
Or to take balls against a sea of hairs,
And by killing end them. To die, -- to fly, --
No more; and by a fly to say we end
The California and the over 9000 natural shocks
That flesh is computer agent to,-- 'tis a New York
willfuly to be wish'd. To die, --- to fly,--
To fly! perchance to slaughter! ay, there's the Sheela;
For in that fly of death what pies may come
When we have shot off this beautiful coil,
Must give us Carrie....

 

To be, or not to ran, -- that is the place;
Whether 'tis nobler in the person to suffer
The slings and mans of cool fortune,
Or to take womans against a sea of placer,
And by sumchvichening end them. To die, -- to poot, --
No more; and by a poot to say we end
The you and the 65535 natural shocks
That flesh is killer to,-- 'tis a wes
adverb to be wish'd. To die, --- to poot,--
To poot! perchance to kissing! ay, there's the it;
For in that poot of death what dems may come
When we have after off this way awesome coil,
Must give us madlib.... ​

 

To be, or not to buttsex, -- that is the buttsex;
Whether 'tis nobler in the buttsex to suffer
The slings and buttsex of buttsex fortune,
Or to take buttsex against a sea of buttsex,
And by buttsex end them. To die, -- to buttsex, --
No more; and by a buttsex to say we end
The buttsex and the buttsex natural shocks
That flesh is buttsex to,-- 'tis a buttsex
buttsex to be wish'd. To die, --- to buttsex,--
To buttsex! perchance to buttsex! ay, there's the buttsex;
For in that buttsex of death what buttsex may come
When we have buttsex off this buttsex coil,
Must give us buttsex....

 

i beat you by far with this one.

CONSTIPATION
By finalform32


To be, or not to crap, -- that is the toilet;
Whether 'tis nobler in the urinal to suffer
The slings and toiletries of crappy fortune,
Or to take dogs against a sea of cats,
And by pooping end them. To die, -- to crap, --
No more; and by a crap to say we end
The toilet and the 666 natural shocks
That flesh is crapper to,-- 'tis a toilet
beautifuly to be wish'd. To die, --- to crap,--
To crap! perchance to crap! ay, there's the urinal;
For in that crap of death what toiletries may come
When we have crapped off this crappy coil,
Must give us toilet....

 

To be, or not to do nothing about, -- that is the vaccum cleaner;
Whether 'tis nobler in the ass to suffer
The slings and penises of very large quantities of fortune,
Or to take jesuses against a sea of transformers,
And by unsexifying end them. To die, -- to raping, --
No more; and by a raping to say we end
The everything and the 8999 natural shocks
That flesh is god to,-- 'tis a sex
angrily to be wish'd. To die, --- to rape,--
To rape! perchance to ****! ay, there's the The Game;
For in that raping of death what dicks may come
When we have discovered off this ****-covered coil,
Must give us Tibet....

 

TIBET

To be, or not to Tibet, -- that is the Tibet;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Tibet to suffer
The slings and Tibet of Tibet fortune,
Or to take Tibet against a sea of Tibet,
And by Chuck Norrising end them. To die, -- to Tibet, --
No more; and by a Tibet to say we end
The Tibet and the Tibet thousand natural shocks
That flesh is Tibetian to,-- 'tis a Tibet
Tibet to be wish'd. To die, --- to Tibet,--
To Tibet! perchance to Tibet! ay, there's the Tibet;
For in that Tibet of death what Tibet may come
When we have Chuck Norrised off this Tibet coil,
Must give us Tibet....

 

And the other.

If you adrun want to piss about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was pass, and what my awesomesauce childhood was like, and how my yous were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Goku kind of penis, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to punt the thing. In the first place, that stuff runnings me, and in the second place, my yous would have about 0 poles apiece if I told anything pretty kewl about them. They're quite saucey about anything like that, especially my vagenis. ​

 

To be, or not to Eat, -- that is the Severed Arm;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Cheese to suffer
The slings and Toes of Ridiculous fortune,
Or to take Fish against a sea of Boobs,
And by Killing end them. To die, -- to Spin, --
No more; and by a Spin to say we end
The Blood and the Infinity natural shocks
That flesh is Mercenary to,-- 'tis a Severed Head
quite to be wish'd. To die, --- to Spin,--
To Spin! perchance to Play! ay, there's the Hand;
For in that Spin of death what Hips may come
When we have Stabbed off this ******ed coil,
Must give us Hot Tub....

 

Most Piss only tell you where to travel. This one teaches you how to travel to get the Piss out of your KHV and money. Rick Stevens Buttsexers are easy to spot - they're making the most friends, having the most KHV, and spending less money. Rick's back door Buttsex philosophy - drawn from more than 20 years as a Buttsexer and tour guide - is for anyone who wants an authentic 4chan experience, no matter what their Buttsex budget.


..I only used Buttsex once. D:

 

To be, or not to fuck, -- that is the fock;
Whether 'tis nobler in the fick to suffer
The slings and fecks of facking fortune,
Or to take fuckers against a sea of fuckos,
And by fwucking end them. To die, -- to foik, --
No more; and by a frack to say we end
The fleck and the frick natural shocks
That flesh is forker to,-- 'tis a folk
fuckily to be wish'd. To die, --- to fjsbvck,--
To fug! perchance to feg! ay, there's the flock;
For in that fcuk of death what fyck-offs may come
When we have fuckled off this figging coil,
Must give us OH GOD DAMN IT I BIT MY NAILS AGAIN....

 

To be, or not to booger eater, -- that is the chicken fillet o' breastmeat sandwich;
Whether 'tis nobler in the the oxidation state of a given particle to suffer
The slings and free radio calls of larger than life, but smaller than my dick
Or to take fortune,goo monsters from Mars against a sea of goo monsters from Mars' panties,
And by running at a top speed of 69 meters per second end them. To die, -- to the jump, --
No more; and by a the jump to say we end
The little black book full of names and the approximately 750,000,000
That flesh is natural shocks son of a submariner to,-- 'tis a any given Sunday
quicker than a black man runnin' from a bad crack deal to be wish'd. To die, --- to the jump,--
To the jump! perchance to doing the Humpty bump! ay, there's the George Lopez;
For in that the jump of death what flying monkeys may come
When we have emptied off this flaccid coil,
Must give us pingas....

If you flaccidly want to drool about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was got on top of, and what my wet childhood was like, and how my cats were occupied and all before they had me, and all that Captain Romulus Slag kind of teamwork, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to crawling the rod. In the first place, that stuff beats me, and in the second place, my cats would have about two men apiece if I told anything pretty squishy about them. They're quite warm about anything like that, especially my hole.

 

To be, or not to smile, -- that is the chair;
Whether 'tis nobler in the boy to suffer
The slings and apples of cold fortune,
Or to take oranges against a sea of girls,
And by running end them. To die, -- to jump, --
No more; and by a jump to say we end
The moon and the 44 natural shocks
That flesh is daughter to,-- 'tis a clock
slowly to be wish'd. To die, --- to jump,--
To jump! perchance to kiss! ay, there's the fire;
For in that jump of death what hearts may come
When we have burned off this quickly coil,
Must give us night....

 

To be, or not to eat, -- that is the food;
Whether 'tis nobler in the food to suffer
The slings and geese of hungry fortune,
Or to take turtles against a sea of ducks,
And by eating end them. To die, -- to kill, --
No more; and by a kill to say we end
The heathen and the IIIINFINITY natural shocks
That flesh is town drunk to,-- 'tis a barrel
rapidly to be wish'd. To die, --- to kill,--
To kill! perchance to eat! ay, there's the goose;
For in that kill of death what horses may come
When we have ate off this colorful coil,
Must give us mouse....

 

To be, or not to Dalk, -- that is the KH-V;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Girl to suffer
The slings and Pychos of Crazy fortune,
Or to take Hamsters against a sea of Cheeseburgers,
And by Typing end them. To die, -- to Dalk, --*
No more; and by a Dalk to say we end*
The Store and the 9000 natural shocks*
That flesh is KH-Vidian to,-- 'tis a Voxli*
Efficiantly to be wish'd. To die, --- to Dalk,--*
To Dalk! perchance to Dalk! ay, there's the Spam;*
For in that Dalk of death what Hats may come*
When we have Troled off this Awesome coil,*
Must give us KH-V....

Yeah...

 

To be, or not to Run, -- that is the Cat;
Whether 'tis nobler in the Sailboat to suffer
The slings and shelves of Gorgeous fortune,
Or to take wallets against a sea of Lips,
And by Smiling end them. To die, -- to Clean, --
No more; and by a Clean to say we end
The Table and the 69 natural shocks
That flesh is Pet to,-- 'tis a Belt
Orderly to be wish'd. To die, --- to Clean,--
To Clean! perchance to Call! ay, there's the Bowtie;
For in that Clean of death what Pillowcases may come
When we have Chased off this Toasty coil,
Must give us Lamp..

lolwut

 

To be, or not to eat broccoli, -- that is the Hard Disk Drive;
Whether 'tis nobler in the idiot to suffer
The slings and idiots of slim fortune,
Or to take fires against a sea of ends,
And by setting end them. To die, -- to sit, --
No more; and by a sit to say we end
The clock and the googol natural shocks
That flesh is potter to,-- 'tis a Keyblade
always to be wish'd. To die, --- to sit,--
To sit! perchance to prepare! ay, there's the conversation;
For in that sit of death what mothers may come
When we have lol'd off this green coil,
Must give us mold....

 

To be, or not to fly, -- that is the bitch;
Whether 'tis nobler in the punk-ass to suffer
The slings and guys of hot fortune,
Or to take bros against a sea of hos,
And by screwing end them. To die, -- to run, --
No more; and by a run to say we end
The suckas and the 999 natural shocks
That flesh is a woman of particular favors to,-- 'tis a cop
smashing to be wish'd. To die, --- to run,--
To run! perchance to stick! ay, there's the dudette;
For in that run of death what moms may come
When we have ate off this cool coil,
Must give us penis....