The Realm of Darkness, his home, it was cold and desolate but he didn't care, in fact he didn't care about anything really, all he cared about at the moment was the due report from his servant, the heartless. He looked out to the black oceans by the dark beach he was on. Then at that moment he saw his servant rise from a corridor of darkness that had just appeared. "You've arrived" came a cold icy voice from the master to his servant.” Well report?" asked the dark cloaked hooded figure. the little black heartless hesitated for a moment then replied” lord Xemnas has failed and now is dead." it took a moment for the cloaked one to reply” I see, so once again that damned key has ruined my plans for kingdom Hearts, you've done well, now leave". The heartless quickly did as ordered and left the hooded one alone. "So it seems I'll have to do it myself, prepare yourself sora the day of darkness is at hand." To be continued...
Another Poll? Again? It definitely needs to be a bit longer, you're not supposed to post prologues, and above all: NO POLLS IN THIS SECTION! It's in the rules. *ahem* Anyway, you need to: -capitalize the beginning of sentences and proper nouns. -line break between quotes. -use proper punctuation. -use quotation marks when needed. -use proper grammar. It's an okay start, but you definitely need to make it longer than 9 lines. Use more detail. And also, learn to line break. It looks more cluttered than it needs to be. Okay, I'm done. :bangbang:
YES YES YES!! you're off to a wonderful start! ^__^ and how ironic... last night i started a new story that i put as Kingdom Hearts III: Second Rise of the Enemy... >.> but... eh nevermind... hey, how do you get polls up? can someone please inform me? i have a question on my mind that i want to see others oppinions for... >.> i'm done now...
You've put up an interesting 'air of mystery' with your writing, but I have to agree with Destiny's Force and the rest with what they've said so far. The advice that I would give you is to read more of the stories that are being written on the Corner so far. This story, so far, has promise, but it's also borderline from 'interest' to 'eh, whatever'. I'm not trying to sound cruel, but there are so many grammar mistakes, sentence errors, and problems in structure that's it's making me cringe. I want to see how this goes, so please try and heed the advice so far!
Kingdom Hearts III Part: 2 Revelations Part:1 "From the king?" sora asked in surprise as he opened the bottle that he had just got from kiari. Sora, riku, and kiari looked at the letter: Sora, Riku, and Kiari please come to ,the Disney castle A.S.A.P, please hurry it's urgent."So , what do you think happened? " sora asked his friends as they took off in the gummi ship.It was given to them by the king several days ago. Who knows, hopefully nothing bad Riku replied as their ship slowly approached the Disney castle. After they had landed sora led riku and kiari to the great hall." It’s a beautiful castle." kiari said ,as she looked at it in admiration. Then they made there way to the giant door in the great hall where they were greeted by a rather pale and gloomy looking Mickey Mouse. Hi your majesty sora greeted with a rather odd salute. Riku smirked, as he heard kiari make a faint giggle “no doubt he got that from Donald, and goofy" he thought. Mickey however did not grin." Thank you for responding to my message so quickly sora, riku, kiari please come there’s much to talk about." Mickey said, as he opened the door next to them. Something’s wrong I’ve never seen the king like this thought riku as the friends made their way down to the enormous throne room. Then they finally made it to where Queen Minnie was waiting for them on the royal throne. Minnie greeted the guests as Mickey sat next to her." So , what’s up?" sora asked .As the king and queen looked at one another clasping each others hand. Sora, riku, kiari its about time the three of you learned the truth about the keyblades . Mickey started you see along time ago centuries before any of us were born. There used to be nothing but pure holy light in kingdom hearts .No evil, heartless, or nobodies, just light and everyone loved it, too much. You see people began fighting over the light, they wanted to keep the light for themselves.This greed and hatred began a chain reaction inside of kingdom hearts and he was born. Sora was confused . Don’t you mean you mean it?" No sora," Mickey sadly said. Darkness was a person, not really a person he was a monstrous creature who loved nothing more than people suffering , and pain, but also he loved bringing out peoples darker side which he did to millions of people. After he was born he went to action by bringing as many people to his side as he could. He raised an enormous army, and with his army he started dominating world after world .Almost consumed the whole universe. "Then what stopped him?" sora asked. The chasers answered Mickey" you see the chasers were the guardians of kingdom hearts. "When darkness was born he attacked them and the chasers were defeated but darkness spared them and instead tortured them until they swore allegiance to him. Only one out of five of them did not succumbed to it and joined him. Darkness left the last one to die, but the last chaser eventually recovered because of his incredible will to live. He waited for Darkness to show any hint of weakness until his friends finally returned to him, whom had betrayed Darkness. During their time under Darkness they had discovered his weakness… To be Continued…
Kingdom Hearts III Part:3 Revelations Part:2 “, So what was his weakness?†asked Sora. The king slowly replied,†You see when people had been giving themselves to the darkness; he grew more powerful with each person and grew stronger by the minute. But eventually Darkness began to realize that the more power he gained , the harder it was to control. Eventually Darkness realized that he could not absorb all of the evil from people’s hearts. He had a limit and if he broke that limit he would be destroyed. So instead of him absorbing people’s evil, he made a realm inside of Kingdom Hearts where all the evil in the world could be stored. The Realm of Darkness and of course with it the Door To Darkness. “, Wait why would he bother making a storage for the extra darkness?â€, asked Sora. “, It’s because if he ever ran low on Dark power he could go and refuel himself, because without it he would eventually run dryâ€, explained Riku. “, That’s exactly right because that’s sort of what happened. “, you see the chasers found out about the door and found a perfect opportunity to defeat him. " By locking the door, darkness would have no access to his power supply.†explained Mickey. So the five chasers created the key blades. Each key was made from a fragment of their own hearts. Each key was supposed to be the same but it was impossible, because the double agent chasers had formally worked for Darkness, their hearts had a piercing of darkness that could never go.Only one out of the five key blades were pure. Three of those key blades…. Are in this room.†“,WHAT?,†Sora shouted in disbelief. “, But wait, then about kiari’s blade?†Sora asked. “, Her blade came from the place where all of the other key blades are, the realm of kingdom hearts. You see the chasers made millions of key blades but since those key blades came from no ones heart , they could be used by anyone who touches one. The reason that they did this was in hopes of raising a key blade army against Darkness. They raised an army, and went to the realm of kingdom hearts to face Darkness. Then the battle to decide the fates of all worlds. Though the chasers no doubt put up a grand battle they were utterly defeated by darkness. Their army was slaughtered, and all but two of the chasers were slaughtered. But before Darkness could destroy them, one of the chasers was able to slip past him .Using the Kingdom Key the purest and most powerful blade sealed the door to darkness. Darkness had been defeated for now he had no power, and was forced to retreat but as he left he told the chasers “, Mark my words chasers your light may save you now, but wait and see it’ll be the very thing that helps me return. For one day seven maidens shall be born with no evil in their hearts and they shall be used to reopen the door and you shall all die by my hands.â€, “, This prophecy eventually came to pass as we all know.â€, said the king in a sad tone. “, Yeah, Xehanort kidnapped the seven princesses and used them to open the door to darkness. We stopped him so we don’t have to worry right?†sora asked. “, But there’s some thing I still don’t understand. "How did we get the key blades then if they belonged to them?†Riku asked. “, Well after Darkness was defeated the two chasers realized that they would need heirs to the key blades to protect the world in the future so each master took up several apprentices and taught them about Darkness and the key blades and this knowledge was passed down through the generations as well were the key blades. This tradition continued unl about ten years ago.†“, What happened ten years ago?â€, Sora asked. To be continued....
