Just a wee daft story I wrote for lulz. I am no writer (I hardly speak this language you call English), but I do occasionally like to write. Now, before folks start moaning and whining, this story is the creation of Chris's and my mind - it holds no truth and is intended for lulz (Cept the whole relationship of this story). I know at the moment there's only 3 characters involved, but more will come and suffer the same fate, so hold your horses and enjoy. =D P.S. I suck at grammar. I apologise, but you'll have to suffer it. Ch.1 Once upon a time, in a land far far far far far far far far far far far far far far faraway, there lived a young princess. The princess was a beautiful young maiden, his beauty known throughout the land. Men fell at the sight of him and swelled as he trampled on them. Princess Cryo was loved by all and life seemed perfect. That was until that fateful shopping spree. Armed with his extra large chicken fillets, he scoured the local shops for all the latest fashions. Women turned green with envy at the sight of Cryo’s shape, his large frame bursting at the seam. With his two cats in one arm and twenty-four man slaves trolling behind with his many purchases, Cryo set down to the next shop. But something caught his attention – a glint from the window across the street. He made a beeline to the shop and mushed his face against the panel, his eyes scanning the display for the item he so desired. Then he saw it. The PSP to rule them all. Prying his face from the window, Cryo kicked the front door down and grabbed the poor shopkeeper, Midnight. ‘PSP. ME. NOW. WANT!’ Cryo spluttered, his eyes burning into Midnight’s. ‘PSP? I-i… ‘Midnight replied, her voice cracking from fear of Cryo’s wrath. ‘PSP! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!’ Midnight scrambled from the shop floor to the stockroom and retrieved the PSP. She stood there for a moment, sweat forming on her brow, looking down at the PSP. ‘Y-your Highness, there is something I must tell you about-‘ Midnight began. ‘Does it include Dissidia 012?’ enquired Cryo. ‘Yes, it does, but your Highness-‘ ‘Good. I shall take it.’ ‘But your High-‘ ‘Hmmm, it appears my cash man slave is nowhere in sight. Nevermind, a kiss is more than enough in payment.’ ‘…wut?’ ‘A kiss for the PSP. A kiss from me is worth at least a thousand PSPs. Now moisten those lips and pucker up before I moisten them for you.’ ‘W-w-wa-wa-wai-WAIT!!’ ‘No waiting! Here comes the smooch-smooch train!’ Cryo thrust his arms around Midnight and squeezed her into his large stomach. She tried desperately to push away but her struggles proved ineffective as she was sucked deeper into his spare tyre. ‘Resistance is futile. Struggling will make it worse.’ Cryo whispered, moving his head closer to Midnight’s, licking his lips. ‘NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!’ she screamed. ‘I’LL GIVE IT TO YOU FOR FREE! FOR FREEEEEEEEEE! Cryo released his grip on Midnight and stepped back. ‘Very well, but it is your loss. Are you sure you don’t want a-‘ ‘NO! I mean, no thank you your Highness. I am not worthy of your lips.’ ‘No, I suppose a meagre shopkeeper as yourself is not worthy of my bountiful lips. Very well, pack my goods for me meagre shopkeeper.’ Cryo sauntered out the shop with his newly acquired PSP, leaving Midnight traumatised in the corner. With much difficultly, and with the many hands of his man slaves, Cryo plopped onto his waiting wagon and travelled as fast as his mule could run back to the castle. Without letting the mule stop, Cryo hopped off the wagon and skipped merrily through the castle doors. ‘Sugarplums! You’re home!’ Machazo yelled, running up to hug Cryo. Cryo greeted his father with a palm to the face and continued to his room. ‘It pleases me you had a good shopping trip, my sugardoodlefrenchpoodle!’ Cryo stopped for nothing, pushing servants and family members out of his way as he hurried to his room. Poor Granny CtR lost her balance as he rushed by and fell down the stairs. Thankfully her large fanbase was there to catch her after the fifth bounce. Finally reaching his bedroom, Cryo slammed and locked the door. He quickly torn off the wrapping till his fingers touch the smooth PSP. Everything stopped the moment he gazed at its shininess. He gazed at it for hours before he even considered playing it, but lust got the better of him as he was dying to see kuja in action. His body reacted in ways he never felt before as the Dissidia logo appeared. His heart raced in anticipation as he selected Kuja and waited for the battle loading screen to finish. He squealed in ecstasy as the battle started. But it was over before he started. Determined, he selected rematch. And again. And Again. And again. And again. Finally, after ten thousand losses to a level one manikin, Cryo gave up. His dreams of becoming the best Kuja player were in tatters. For days he laid in bed, consumed by depression, McDonalds and the internet. Then a glimmer of hope appeared. The Phoenix Down to his fallen ego, a fairy to his hearts. If he couldn’t beat his nemesis, the level one manikin, by skill then he would cheat. With CFW at his disposal nothing seemed impossible. He even imagined himself beating a level two manikin – something he only dreamed of. With new resolve he set off on the quest of CFW. Much research went into the hacking of the PSP, and by the end of his quest he found what he thought was the simplest and quickest way to break it. But unknown to him his PSP was cursed, cursed by the evil fatcats Sony. Any attempt at hacking would put the user in a deep sleep, a sleep that could only be awoken by a kiss from thy true love. Unaware of the impending danger in-front of his eyes, Cryo began cracking his psp. Suddenly a message appeared on the screen. ‘LULZ! W3 OWNZ UR LIF3! Love Sony~’ And with that a puff of smoke blew from the speakers into Cryo’s face. His world slowly began spinning as he fell to the ground. The castle shook violently. Machazo barged into his room and screamed in horror at the sight of Cryo unconscious on the floor. They did everything to wake him; pizza, kittens, Bill Gates, a get out of jail free card, a new mule for his wagon, Versus XIII but nothing would coax him out of his sleep. Machazo ordered his guards to deliver Cryo to the highest, most remote tower in the Kingdom, in hopes that one day his true love will free him from his sleep with true loves kiss. Well, there you go. The love child of Chris and I.
It turned out much more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. I have never seen anything so magnificent, I love it. This is some of the best writing I have ever seen and I cannot wait to read the next parts *nod* Simply incredible. I can't wait to see what happens next, I'm incredibly anxious!
The suspense is killing me! The story has been set up brilliantly, love the characterisation, just like the real-life counterparts. I just hope the next chapter comes faster than this one did. (; So glad you're revisiting your true calling of writing short stories featuring members of a Kingdom Hearts forum..
Wow, well, the imagery involved definitely brought my mind into a new level of perspective. Here's hoping for a sequel, you Scottish Dickens, you. Spike-Approved
Flattery will get you far in khv. xD I will do my best! ...Though I'm kinda busy this week, but I'll aim to get it done by Friday. My true calling. xD khv can never die or else you'll miss me Mishy. :3 Cheers me dear. <3 It's only chapter 1. At the moment I have about 4-5 chapters planned out. I'll do my best to get the next chapter out by the end of the week. Cheers for all the positive comments!
