KH-Vids Ataraxia Note: This story does not reflect my views on anyone in this story what so ever. And the story is purely fiction. And if you don't like the story then well thats just hard cheese. ~Prologue~ Before great civilizations there was the Holy Grail which could give great power to anyone. There we many guardians of the Grail with different powers to defend it. For a time they lived in harmony. But like all great power some wanted it for good, others for evil and so began a war between the guardians, a war that ravaged the land until it was consumed by death. But the Grail was fixed with magic which would make the Grail appear every 100 years; the guardians’ powers were also gone and to only appear every 100 years like the Grail but to only be given to Chosen warriors to fight a secret war for the Grail. The war has begun again. Chapter 1 – Encounter ~New York City, New York, USA~ Slowly opening his eyes Neku woke up. He yawned and got out of bed, got dressed, and walked out of his bedroom. He then walked to his couch and sat down and turned on his TV. He went through a few channels to see if there was anything on…there was nothing worth watching; so he got up and walked to his door, put on his shoes and left the apartment. He walked down the street and sighed as the cars on the road went by. “I’m really bored,†he thought, “I wish there was something interesting to do.†About the time he thought that his cell phone started to ring; he looked to see who was calling, it was Catch The Rain. He answered his phone and said, “Hello.†And on the other of the phone Catch The Rain said, “Hey Neku! Want to go see a show?†Neku thought for a moment and said, “I can’t right now, I’m busy.†That was a lie. “Okay then, some other time.†Catch The Rain replied with joyful voice before hanging up the phone. Neku sighed deeply, he was bored and he really should have said ‘yes’ to go to that show with Catch The Rain. “I might as well go get something to eat.†Neku said continuing to walked down the street. After 20 minutes he got to a restaurant, it was closed and for some reason the windows were broken, there was what appeared to be slash marks on the walls on the inside, the kind of slash marks that would have been made by some kind of blade. Neku didn’t think it was important so he walked off. He decided to go to work because well…he had nothing else to do. Once Neku got to the store he worked at, he noticed that the windows he broken here too. But the glass was on the outside not the inside, so what ever had broke the windows was on the inside. Neku stood there wondering what happen, and then he heard groaning like sounds from behind him across the street. He turned around to see three ambulances. The building across the street had all its windows broken too but from the outside. Neku heard one of the people being carried into one of the ambulances saying something about a noise. Neku sighed and turned around and walked into the store. Neku’s boss wasn’t around, so Neku sighed and decided to clean the mess. After hours of work, Neku finally decided go home. It was already dark out. Neku sighed deeply and walked into an alley. He walked though the alley wondering why he was taking the long route home. When he got to the end of the alley he saw a group of 13 guys, they looked horrified. In front of the group was a crying girl, she was wearing a dark blue T-shirt and dark blue jeans and she had long brown hair. Neku then hid behind a dumpster. Then the girl grabbed one of the guys in front of her and threw him down the street with superhuman strength, she was still crying. The group backed up on step and one of them said, “What is going on?!†Then the guy, after finished talking, started to float in the air. His arms and legs bent backwards until a load snap came from his body and he fell to the group unmoving. Then a girl came out of an alley across the street from Neku was. She had short black hair and had an emotionless look on her face. She was wearing all black. She also had two puppets in here hands; one looked like a girl then other a boy. The girl puppet was in her right hand, it had a rust red beret, a red sweater, a skirt, combat boots, and it had long brown hair. The puppet also had glowing yellow eyes. The boy puppet was in her left hand, it had a leather coat with a hood over its head, and it also had black pants and black boots. It had glowing eyes too, but they were blue not yellow. The girl who was holding the puppets made her puppets take a bow. Three of the guys in the back of the group then turned around and started to run away but were stop when something exploded in front of them caused them to fly back, they were not moving. In the street there was another girl, she had very dark red hair, and was wearing a red jacket with a red t-shirt and had black jeans on, and she seemed to be very angry. Then a laugh echoed through the street. Then something on a wall of a building started to move. The brick color of part of a wall faded to reveal another girl, she had short orange-like colored hair, she was wearing a white dress, and she was also wearing brown boots. In that girl’s hand was a rather large meat cleaver. The four girls then started to walk toward what was left of the group. Neku started to backup when a hand landed on his shoulder and voice behind him said, “It’s not safe here.†Neku was then was pulled back and next thing he knew was inside the building he was standing next too. He then turned around to see who had pulled him inside; it was a guy about three years older then Neku. The guy was wearing a tuxedo t-shirt with black jeans, he also had snake skin boots on. He had black hair that went down to his next. Neku looked at him and said, “Umm, who are you and what is going?†The guy chuckle and said, “One thing at a time, first off. My name is Darkwatch.†Neku though that was an odd name but he shrugged and said, “Well nice to meet you I’m-†“You’re Neku. You are age 16.†Darkwatch said cutting off Neku. Neku looked at him and said, “Okay, how do you know me?†Darkwatch chuckled a bit and said, “There is more going on then you possibly know.†Neku sighed and said, “Why don’t you tell me then.†Darkwatch sat in a chair and said, “Fine. What if I was to tell you that there is a secret war that has been going on for more then millions of years? Well you are chosen for this war, to fight in it for the ultimate prize, the Holy Grail.†Neku laughed a bit and said, “You expect me to believe that? What do you think this is the Matrix?†“You saw those for girls outside didn’t you? Each of the chosen few are given an emotion and a power that goes with that emotion to fight the war.†Darkwatch said. “Yeah right.†Neku said. Darkwatch sighed and got up and pulled a card out of his pocket and said, “Fine, just take my card and when you are ready to believe me then call me.†Nku grabbed the card and said, “Fine.†Then he walked out of the building. Neku then started going in the opposite way of the place where he was hiding and started his way home.
It's good burnitup. I like it, and if you want my guidence on it, I can slip in a few words. Your grammar and spelling has improved, there were a few mistakes, but your getting better at it. And otherwise, it seems slightly fast paced, you might want to slow down and add in more stuff that happens, instead of having it rush so much into the storyline. But otherwise, I like it, and want to read the next chapter. ^^
Sweet. Although...it reminds me a bit of the KH-Vids Royal...<_< Not like it's a bad thing. Just stating that out of nowhere. Keep it up(the good work I mean).
