KH - Fast Food Madness! V2

Roxas couldn't stand to think so negatively and second-guess his and Namine's relationship. They loved eachother, and sometimes it seemed as if "love" wasn't the right word for it, not even close to what Roxas felt toward her. His love came with his protection, but his protection hadn't been its strongest lately, and he didn't know why. In a way...he felt useless, and that only made more sorrow wash over him in the silence.

 

Namine wrapped her arms around her legs, setting her chin lightly on her knees. Her eyes closed when she heard another crack of lightning outside, making her tense up slightly. It was true that she was here with Roxas now; and that fact alone should have been making her feel better. But...something felt very wrong. It was as if they weren't on the same page, even if they were together.

 

Was it destiny testing him? Was that why he wasn't on top of everything, controlling it? Well, Roxas guessed he never really could "control" everything. Destiny had a way of its own to rip things out of people's hands when they thought they had the tightest grip. Was that what was going on with him?

 

Namine turned her head slightly, her cheek resting on her knees. She did feel strangely alone, and she disliked that feeling. No..it was greated than dislike. She hated feeling alone, especially after everything that had happened. That was the last thing she wanted to feel, yet that was the most depressing feeling that had filled her heart.

 

Roxas opened his eyes halfway, looking down at his knees in the glow from the fire, which was greatly helping him warm up. Whatever was going on with him, he didn't like it and really wanted it to stop so he could just enjoy the time he had with Namine. She deserved better from him, and he knew that. "Sorry..." Roxas said softly, the word leaving his lips and breaking the silence.

 

Namine turned her head at the soft voice, her eyes finding Roxas. "Why are you sorry?" Namine asked quietly, the girl seeing his face from a side view. He had nothing to be sorry for in her eyes; nothing at all.

 

"For everything," Roxas clarified, not moving his gaze. Everything that had happened to Namine had been his fault, and he felt guilt in his heart.

 

Namine's gaze softened at the words, hearing sorrow in Roxas' voice. "You haven't done anything wrong," Namine stated quietly, releasing the grip she had on her legs after she finished speaking. They slowly unbent a little, laying out slightly in front of her.

 

Roxas lifted his gaze to the fire after Namine spoke. "Yes I have," he declared softly in the quiet living room, the only sounds being the flames licking the wood and the storm outside. Guilt and sadness were the strongest emotions inside him, and he couldn't really push them away.

OOC: I have to go get ready to go to the musical. I'll be on later, just for a heads up. See you later!

 

Namine felt Roxas' words impact her, though his actions spoke much more loudly than words. The fact that he wouldn't look over at her showed that he really did believe he did something wrong, though that was completely false. "Why do you think that?" Namine asked gently, continuing to look at Roxas even though he wasn't looking at her.

OOC: Okay, I'll try to be on. I can't make any promises though...=/

 

"Why don't I think that?" Roxas asked both himself and Namine quietly, his words almost coming out as a mutter. He felt as if his words were turning the tables; not necessarily on Namine, but on himself. "Everything that's happened lately...It's my fault." His head lowered slightly, his gaze falling on his sweatpants.

 

Namine gave Roxas a strange look, the girl taking in his words. He says its his fault, but it's really not. It's the opposite, really. It's all happened because of me, and my need to be protected. But I don't think I should come out and say that; that would only make Roxas more upset.... Namine thought these things to herself, the silence lingering for a moment before she responded. "None of it is your fault," Namine said simply, leaving it at that.

 

Roxas didn't respond, only keeping his eyes on his pant-legs. He could tell Namine many things that would prove her wrong, but by the tone in her voice, he didn't know for sure if he should say anything.

 

Namine kept her eyes on Roxas, opening her mouth partway before closing it again, deciding that maybe it was better to wait for Roxas to say something.

 

Roxas thought back to Smith, the worst experience of them all. He had gotten away from Roxas long enough to go and get Namine. He remembered how scared he had been because of it, and then when Smith had actually shown up with Namine in his hands, Roxas had felt more fear than he thought possible. Namine was used as a toy to increase Roxas' anger, and it had worked... And because of that, she had gotten hurt, and close to getting worse.

 

Namine softly exhaled, her eyes flitting down slightly at the heavy silence. She really didn't know what to say to make the situaiton better, or that if that was even possible at the moment.

 

"But...Smith..." Roxas started quietly, not lifting his eyes. And Jeff..and Brian, he thought internally. He knew that it was best to take one situation at a time, and he left the other two out for the moment as his voice trailed off into the silence.

 

Namine lifted her eyes at the voice, gazing at Roxas' face from the side again. The name alone brought back bad...no, terrible memories, but she knew that they had to talk about it. She searched her thoughts for something to say, but she couldn't think of anything, so she waited for Roxas to say more.

 

"When he had you, Namine... I was so scared," Roxas admitted softly, blinking once. "He hurt you to tease me...to build up my anger that I already had." Roxas squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head slightly as he remembered and continued. "And because it was working, and Smith knew it, you were hurt more because I was giving in to him. You saw me in the worst state I could've ever been in..." Just the memories of it made Roxas' hands ball into fists, but not from his anger toward Smith specifically, but from his anger with himself.

 

Namine's eyes softened at his response, hearing the sense of guilt in his voice. "You couldn't help that, though," she started softly, trying to think of the right words to say. "Smith was...cruel...and manipulative. Things...they couldn't have ended any better than they had, but they could have gotten much, much worse." Namine stopped there, unable to say anymore on that hard subject.