Just a little rap

Discussion in 'Archives' started by GhettoXemnas, Nov 23, 2008.

  1. GhettoXemnas literally dead inside

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    827
    Flow sick
    Like critical condition
    So sick
    It’ll need a new edition
    Originality
    You can’t copy
    If you did
    It would turn out sloppy
    So watch me
    But you cannot see
    Unlike the last verse
    I have reversed
    This is the inverse
    Of your universe
    Organized confusion
    Oh so amusing
    The words I am using
    Will leave your blood oozing
    No points; you’re losing
    I could beat you while I’m snoozing
    But my eyes are wide open
    And you are just hoping
    not emo, No moping
    Go so hard
    I’ll leave your ears broken
    Bloody shirt soakin
    And now I have spoken

    Wrote it while listening to the shoot me down instrumental, getting ready to record it. Second of three verses.
     
  2. Juicy Chaser

    Joined:
    May 29, 2008
    325
    I know **** all about rap, but it all looks awesome except for the line "It would turn out sloppy" which just seems kind of...lame. All the other endings seem effective but the word sloppy just seems to fail >.>
     
  3. Vexen_Is_God Gummi Ship Junkie

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2008
    Location:
    In a red box...with Zexion.
    24
    389
    You have the talent to really tickle ears with an extreeme word flow that seems to come together very nicely. I know many people do not think that being able to rhyme and make words flow in a rap-style is a 'talent', but let me tell you, that is a very precious gift and you have it. Please never stop bringing these on. You are simply amazing.
     
  4. GhettoXemnas literally dead inside

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2007
    Gender:
    Male
    827
    Lol sloppy is the only thing I could think of xD
    Thank you very much, and I'm not stopping any time soon.