Joke Contest

C'mon! its almost beem a week since the 1st saturday of April! who's the winner?!

 

a football mad couple went to bed one night
the men farted and went 1/0
the women farted and went 1/1
after a while the man farted so bad he pooed on the bed
then he said "half time swap sides"

 

I'M SO SORRY FOR MY MAJOR TARDINESS T _T



And so, the winner is.....

Cupcake!!!

(if the name is correct)

 

oh

wow

uhmm

xD

okay then

 

When someone says you are a bag of sunshine, you tell them,
"I'M THE SAME BAG OF DECAYING FLESH AS EVRYONE ELSE!!!!!!"

 

That is the greatest joke I've ever heard in my life.

Here mine:

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.

“Oh dear, what's the bad news?” asks the patient.

The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”

“That's terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”

The doctor replies, “I've been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

 

This one may be a little culturally sensitive.
A scientist has been entrusted by the world to say something to God.
He says, "So, God, I hope you don't take this too hard but, we don't need you anymore, what with cloning and whatnot. So get out of here. Please don't hurt me."
Thinking on his feet, God replies, "It's okay, but instead, how about we make a little wager. We each try to make a man out of the dirt from the ground. If you make the better one, I'll leave and you never have to see me again. But if I win, you have to stop your cloning for ever."
The scientist agrees and picks up some dirt too take to his lab.
God says, "Get your own dirt."

 

I've got an animation for that joke. Being able to see the scene brings it to another level if you ask me.

FYI judgment is done on this thread so there isn't a real point in posting here anymore


http://www.godlimations.com/webfolder/godscientists.html