Joke Contest

:lol:Yep my first contest,who ever posts the most funniest joke is the winner.
The winner will be announced on the first Saturday of April.

 

wow,.. ok

How did the turtle cross the freeway?

How?

He took the "f" out of free and the "f" out of way.

what is wrong with that

there is no F in way

now say, There is no F in way, fast

There is no ****** way

 

NOW WHO CAN BEAT THAT GREAT JOKE HUH?!

 

~


That is all.​

 

wow!!!!! that was halarious. funnier than my joke

 

the muffin joke!!!

never faied to make me laugh

2 muffins were placed in the oven.
The oven starts to heat up...
so one muffin says....
"wow! its hot in here!"
the other muffin looks at the talking muffin and goes,
"WOW!! A TLKING MUFFIN! I HOPE I'M NOT ONE!"

ta-da!!​

 

It's funnier without the "I hope I'm not one!"~​

 

Prince Charles & Sardarji were having dinner.
Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".
Sardar thinks "how poetic"
Sardar says, "pass the custard you *******".

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend
asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

 

Q. what did the duck say when he finished shopping

A. put it on my bill XDD

 

Are Chuck Norris jokes allowed?

Q: What do tornados do for fun?
A: Twister!!!

...k, that wasn't that funny, oh well.

 

Ok, so there's Saddam Hussein, George Bush, a priest and a kid in a plane which is 20000ft in the air.
Suddenly, the plane was gonna crash. All the plane staff had already jumped out.
And there was only 3 parachutes left.
Saddam Hussein comes up and says "I need this parachute! If I die my people die with me" and he jumps out of the plane.
George Bush comes up and says "I need this 2nd parachute! If I die then technology dies with me!" and he jumps out of the plane.
So there was only the priest and kid left. The priest couldn't choose between saving himself or the kid. Eventually he went closer to the kid and said "My son, you take the parachute. You're still young.
The kid says "But..why?"
The priest replies "Like I said you're still young..."
The Kid says "Well why don't we both save ourselves? That man of technology took my backpack instead of a parachute"

 

:lol:HILARIOUS!!!Tough compitition!

 

Ok so a baby seal walks into a club.

 

This is an old joke my friends used to tell all the time.

So there's this ghost that lives in a basement, but it's no ordinary ghost. This one was the Ghost With The One Black Eye.

One day, a baby was playing with his ball, and the ball accidentally went into the basement.

So the mommy went down in the basement to get the ball. When she went in, the ghost popped up and said, "I am the Ghost With The One Black Eye!" She screamed and never did come back up.

Then the big brother went down in the basement to get the ball. When he went in, the ghost popped up and said, "I am the Ghost With The One Black Eye!" He screamed and never did come back up.

So the baby went down in the basement to get the ball. When he went in, the ghost popped up and said, "I am the Ghost With The One Black Eye!"

And the baby said, "You're gonna be the Ghost With Two Black Eyes if you don't give my ball back!"

 

I am the lord of midgets! All shall bow before me! That way I can see them at eye level.

 

:ninjacat: Ninja Cat says:THE ENDING WAS SOOO FREAKIN FUNNY!!!:lol:

 

This is a long one, soz

Three guys are at the top of a building

One bites into a lemon and throws it out
One bites a lime and throws it out
the other one bites a grenade and throws it out

So they go outside and find a little girl
She said "a lemon fell from the sky and killed my cat"
Then they find a little boy.
He said "a lime fell from the sky and killed my dog"

Then they find a fat woman laughing
And they ask why she's laughing
She said:

I FARTED AND THE CITY BEHIND ME BLEW UP!

 

OMG THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!:roll: :rofl:

 

r u allowed 2 post more than 1 joke?

 

A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand.
"Mommy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to heaven," the mother replied.
Her son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"