Hmmm so this is from the perspective of a character I am currently writning a short story about. I hope it's liked ^^ I can hear the rain falling But I'm not sure whether its from outside or from the memories in my mind I remember the last words you said and though I couldnt see I knew you had that smile in your eyes. I keep thinking If I had known? would I have done thing different? There was still so much more we had to talk about So many things left unsaid You promised me forever And now thats how long Ill be left Wishing that I could go back Go back just once to see you smile again Wait for me And one day maybe We'll finish the dance we never got the chance to really start I'll move on and make my way But I'll still think of you with each passing day I close my eyes and I can almost feel you near But still so distant that it makes the emptyness seem darker I will smile and remember the fun and I will laugh at those games we would play And one day when it's over I'll see you and speak the words we never got to say
It is very touching... ='3 I don't see very much mistkes - the ones that ARE there are so small you barely notice them, so I'm not going over 'em... yada yada yaaaa.... Great poem! :D
I'm not too into poetry as I find it hard to understand. This one was good. I don't really know too much about style but I think it's done what it was supposed to as both a technical piece and an emotional one. It made me sad. At least I didn't cry though.
