I have a girlfriend now, been talking to her for a year and we started dating a month ago. Now before all of this started there were four people that are friends of hers and were friends of mine. Well one of those four wanted to date her and so did I, he said many lies and messed up my chances with her, the two of them dated, a week later he cheated on her, I stepped in and got chewed out by the remaining three friends on her birthday, she called me three days later apologizing for everything and I said it was okay. So a month passes and we were becoming close friends, and we started having feelings for each other. I finally told her how I felt and she said she wants to call me her boyfriend now because I won her heart, but she can't reveal her true feelings yet because she's afraid she'll get hurt or that she'll lose me. I told her to take her time and stuff, so after a week, two of the three friends said that they don't care much anymore about us talking, but there's this one friend of hers that's just saying I'm going to hurt her and he "threatened to kill me" and he says it's to protect her. Now another month passes and we leave him in his own world, he finds out we're still talking and tells me the same thing. As of right now, we all live in different states, he's in Texas, I'm in Louisiana, and she's in Nevada. He knows where she lives and plans to move out there close to her and try to protect her and also wants her to live with him, but he doesn't have a clue where I live. Her and I are getting frustrated with this guy just being obsessed with her and me dating. Now I ask all of KHV.......what, in the hell, should we do, or should she do, or should I do?
First and foremost, he wont move out to her, it will be very very slim chances that he actually does do that, empty threat really, and if it happens and she's not happy about it she's an adult and can tell him to back off, or the law can easy enough. Secondly, and not to be rude, but **** her friends, if she's happy and you're happy and together you are happy it doesn't matter to anyone else and shouldn't matter to anyone else, an unsupportive friend is not a friend at all. Thirdly in regards to him you've got 2 choices, ignore him or tell him to back off, you're a big boy and if you make your point clear that A: you can't be intimdated and B: you don't intend to harm her he should get the message, if he doesn't then you're dealing with an imbecile and I go back to my first point in that he is most likely not going to move to her. Different states things well I can't say how serious you two are, so I wont make suggestions, but I'd assume you'd wish to be closer in the end, sorta helps in a relationship, if you're so worried about him moving to her, have her move to you, mitigates that issue all together. TL;DR version, she's to deal with him first, you're to both ignore any idiot friends and be happy.
Vivi is right, the actual chances of him moving out there are slim. If you're both getting frustrated with him and he's harassing you, you should just block him on whatever messenger(s) and sites you use, drop contact with the fellow completely. Obviously if he is leaving the two of you death threats he isn't quite right in the head, nor is he worth much friendship. He'll move on from the friend circle and your girlfriend with time. If it does become an issue of her personal safety (i.e. you have reason to believe he is in close proximity to her and may hurt her), call the police, file a harassment charge, whatever.
Thanks friendos! I actually feel a whole lot better now, I was just getting tired of hearing about what he's gonna do and stuff, I no longer want to be concerned about him, if he does end up moving I'll tell her to keep some distance from him and if he pursues her she should call the police. I'll just basically play it by ear and think of simple solutions to solving a problem like this. Thanks again! :)
