[video=youtube;XH_RXaqoz80]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XH_RXaqoz80[/video] Dear KHV, what is your overall view on the concept of 'love'? People see it as this glorious thing which is so amazing and whatnot, and other people see it as, basically, death to the heart. Me? I'm quite the cynic when it comes to 'love'. I don't believe it exists, and if it does, then it is 'like' until it is developed into love. Don't get me wrong, I'm all good for the family love. Loving your parents, siblings etc, I do believe that kind of love exists. However, that cheezy, cliche, stupid corny stuff that you see in movies? That romantic love? THATS what I don't believe in. Yes, I believe in having feelings for someone. Yes I believe in having a crush on someone, but the weird thing is that I believe that the feelings right up until you ask someone out are the highest level of feeling you will have for that person. Yes, you will still have feelings for them while you're dating them, but you won't fall in love with them for a very long time. ...am I making sense at all? Anyway, what I'm basically saying is that you will be in 'like' with someone for a very long time before you legitimately fall in love with them. You will have all these feelings that create the illusion of love until you actually feel it. Its kinda hard to explain, but romantic love is a much rarer concept than how it is used in our day. My view: If its not true, its not love. Its an illusion created with feelings, but its not actually love. I also believe in soulmates, or one perfect person for each person, so that might have something to do with my view on it. Discuss this, KHV. Agree? Disagree? I wanna hear your view on this stuff :)
I can't tell if you're arguing against romantic love in general or love at first sight (or at least, "love" early on). In the former case, I disagree. If it's the latter, I agree completely, though not entirely with your reasoning. Romantic love and "in love" exists. Sure, it may seem jaded these days and less significant because of how often its portrayed in media and how it's portrayed, but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Now if you're talking about love early on in a relationship (here's lookin' at you, teenagers), then yes, I agree. Love is something that happens gradually, not instantly. And it takes work, as opposed to something like someone saving your life and you instantly fall in love with them (isn't that a psychological syndrome?). However, this part: I disagree with this reasoning. Sure, you may not fall in love with them for a very long time, but your "like" can still increase while dating them at various speeds depending on the people until eventually it becomes "love." Also, I don't believe in soul mates. To quote an episode of Friends: I believe in two people putting the work and effort into a relationship to make it the best relationship it can be (...alright, so I can't remember the exact words), and eventually, it's the best relationship for each person and they're the best people for each other, but destiny plays no part in that. /atheist
The things I feel for someone I'm in "like" with are very different from what I feel for my friends who I also happen to like. So either your word choice is poor, I'm an exception to the rule, or you aren't making much sense after all. I've experienced things that I guess one could call love. Thinking about her more often than not, being blind to her flaws, wanting to please in every way possible... I've been there, and if some people won't call it love I would very much like to hear what they call it. It's a pretty awful basis to start a relationship with though. I'd rather be eternal room mates with someone who's on the same wave length as me than live together with someone I love who is as different from me as day is from night. I think love exists to anyone who is willing to give it meaning. If the aforementioned "crushes" are love to you, then you have given it meaning. If the biological search for good genes in people of the opposite sex is your definition of love, then you have given it meaning. Contrariwise, I think "not believing in love" is little more than an unwillingness to define it. Personally, I try to avoid this problem by seeing love as an abstract concept with ill-defined or no necessary or sufficient conditions. In other words, I treat the word "love" the same way I would treat the word "art". Show me a beautiful painting and I will call it art, but ask me what art is and I will give at worst a stupid and at best an incomplete answer.
