I've been tempted a few times to make a thread here but usually I handle things on my own. Guess I want to rant. Although I'm not mentioning any names or giving out certain details. So! Today's probably been one of the worst days of my life. Or it is the worst. I dunno really. But it really doesn't start with today... Awhile back, I did something bad. Really bad to someone close. That person lost almost all their trust in me. I felt like sh*t afterwards. I wish I could take back the things I did but well...going forward was the only option that we had. So the person gave me a second chance. It felt good. Things went smoothly. The person kinda left for about a week to this camp thing...we were barely able to talk. So the person got home late night on Thursday. The person called a friend to say that they were home. So yesterday I start getting worried because I haven't heard from my close...well...I'll just keep saying "person". Well, I talked to "person's" friend a few times because I'm a clingy loser. I find out that yesterday the person was pretty much out all day. Thing is, I start getting depressed because instead of calling me, the person calls their friend instead. So today...I keep talking to this person's friend and after awhile...I get a message that basically goes, "We were never friends because friends don't lie, you're a backstabber, you're sounding like a stalker, it isn't about second chances but about trust, sorry doesn't cut it, etc." I admit I'm not the best person out there. I probably deserved this. But I really thought I had a second chance. It was pretty damn sudden. I never even talked directly to the "person". Although it's clear that I'm being avoided. I'd do anything to get that trust back but...I guess I was hoping I would've been forgiven by now. Things went smoothly until very recently. I made a mistake and I am sorry. Although it still feels like getting stabbed in the heart. All I've been doing is worrying because I thought something happened. Turns out it's my own fault. It's just...weird that this happened today. Came out of nowhere. I'm pissed off, depressed as hell, it almost feels like being betrayed just for caring, and well...Grrr...By the way, don't just come here and tell me something like, "Sucks for you, prick." Honestly, that makes you look like worse than me. And no, I can't risk talking to this person unless that person decides to talk to me directly. If the person wants me to stay away, fine. Even if it hurts. >>; Blah...Ranting feels weird.
Well...one thing I'll tell you. You can't force anyone other than yourself, so if the person doesn't want to talk, then there's pretty much nothing you can do. Besides if the person doesn't talk to you, the best thing you can do is probably let things cool off. I know, it's hard, but there is nothing else you can do. I for one wouldn't really try to make contact so soon, but if the person said they would give you a second chance, and then go back on their word...I would probably confront them, after some time of cooling-off, of course. Remember also that your actions will always leave consequences.
It's a her. Well thanks. But the situation changed. I found out that her friend kinda holds...a grudge against me and told me some harsh stuff because of the fact that I hurt her friend in the first place. I wasn't really being ignored. "Person" was just...not feeling too well. Sooo...I'm trying to clean up the remains of my mess. Plus her friend is saying that if we keep talking, she'll ignore her. I can't let that happen because the two are close. So yeah. >>
Then the girl you're after has a very bad friend if that's the case. You must have done something very bad for her to feel so defensive in this situation. What a mess!
well dont care about that she'll ignore her thing its not your problem and i dought she will unless she's a bad friend so whatever to that just focus on getting her and her trust back just wait a couple of days, 2 or 3, for everything to cool down then call her or meet her and appologize and explain your feelins and hopefully she'll forgive you and you will get her trust back as time goes by or you can just let that person slip out of your life your choice
Sounds like the friend isn't very forgiving, or nice. XD Seriously, though. Your person probably deserves better, but at the same time her friend is only protecting your person. So she can't be that bad. I hope things work out. Forgiveness and trust take a long time to gain, but a second to lose. But I think if you keep up the effort, your person will be more trusting. Best of luck, and don't give up.
Well, your friend is really upset at what you did, and I can see why she is. But the only good advice to take here is to wait for awhile for her to acutally and eventually forgive you. Trust takes a long time to build up, like a tower of cards. If those cards tumble, it's going to take a long time to build that tower again.
I screwed up. I talked to her friend a bit yesterday...and sadly she doesn't believe me about me being sorry. She doesn't want me to talk to her anymore which is kinda hard since I still need to clear things up. And she's going to be staying with the person for a week. I really don't know if her friend will try to turn her against me during that time. Which really sucks but...I trust that she won't turn on me though. >>; Can't really meet her. The girl's forgiven me but her friend hasn't. Her friend says she did but...she doesn't trust me or like me. Right now I could really care less what she thinks of me, just as long as she doesn't make things worse but does she listen? No. She just keeps blaming me, saying it's my fault those two are having some frustration in their friendship. I know that's a load of BS because if she didn't have a grudge against me, there would be a mess. Of course I don't really blame her. If/when she does come around, I'll forgive her. I made a mistake but I won't let her make me feel any worse because of it. Thank you. She's not a bad person just...She holds grudges for a long time from what I've heard. *Sighs* This won't go away anytime soon. But I'll be patient.
Honestly,I think if your friend is that mad at you and doesn't trust you,you did something to her that would make you untrustworthy. And karma is a bitch. It's kind of hard to tell how bad/good this situation is until we know what you did.
Oh Crimson.. Dx> Honestly I'd give her some time. She's just thinking about the bad you did and is trying to forget about it by ignoring you and hanging out with other people. Most women are like this.. >_> *cough* But she'll come to mind and forget about it. As long as what you did and wrong and never do it again that's all that counts. But trust is easy to gain; but very hard to re-gain.
Well, maybe that freind doesn't hold a grude but was being insulted and that friend won't turn her against you. You said some things that hurt 'the other friend.' She got mad and retaliated. She would never try to make the other friend hurt. But what you said really hurt her. You got made at her for telling you things you didn't want to hear. They weren't nice, but she wasn't tring to be cruel. Some accuasations should be said. She said some and you said some. She never hated you but she realized that maybe you were only her friend to get to the other. It hurt her more than you know. She doesn't admit it but that was one of the reasons she was set off. She was hurt and angry and she pushed them away. She was just trying to protect her friend. Hurting herself in the end. She would never come between you, respecting her friend to much. It hurts to think that, but people don't realize what they say when they are angry. I wish you the best of luck with the friend you hurt. The other friend forgave you. I did. The friend isn't just going to be used as someone who was never just another friend. She was the communicator, and thats all. She won't do it anymore.
I know excatly who you're talking about. I think. But the only solution I can think of is forgive and restart. You can't keep going as friends if something like this is weighing on the relationship. It's not something that just heals over time. Depending on how bad this person was hurt, time isn't a matter untill you put effort. If you restart, the wound of the relationship has a chance of healing. But without trying, it's going to never heal, and the both of you will probably stay hurt. What do you think would've made that person send you that message? Was it THAT horrible? Also, don't force the person, they may need time before they try again. Third chances can come my friend. The only conclusion is to wait, and try. Of course, don't take my advice for granted. It never works. *Shot*
Oh wow what a mess. Well, since I don't know too much about the situation all I can suggest is to let her blow off some steam and let the entire thing cool down a bit. Then, when both of you are ready to talk, I suggest apologizing again just so she knows you are sorry. As Rayku said, trust takes time to re-build once broken, but it is possible. Just make sure you don't do anything to get her angry at you again.
