Ok so usually I would just take this and forget it happened but today everythings tipped my wagon. So today alone I've been insulted, had things thrown at me, been hit, followed and laughed at and been insulted several times by a girl who barely knows me(I have given her comfort and lsitenined to what she said when I noticed her running out her house crying) and I'm sick of it totally SICK of it...I just don't know what to do about it anymore...Things were getting better but the walls are falling down again...I have but one friend in person whos really nice and listens to what I have to say...but shes sually writing and doesnt like being bugged...So I sit and stare off int space snce I have nothing better to do...Just now that girl mentioned called me "the boy who sts there and stares at a wall all day!" claiming how i dont know the half of the sit shes going through...i never really tell anyone when shes down...she thinks im so happy staring at walls trying to forget the bullying every singles ducking day...and i tell you every time ive thought ive had somebody on my side theyve urned around and back stabbed me...im sick and tired i dont want it anymore...can anyne give me advice? Sorry for asking about something like this...I might just be over reacting but right now i feel so depressed
Do you have any idea why she's doing it? It could be that she felt you comforting her was a thorn in her pride. People with big egos tend to spin that way. Either way, I'd try to counter her insults with a witty comment whenever you can (if you're bad at this just observe members on this site) and try to shrug off the rest. That'll annoy her, perhaps enough to drop it altogether.
Dear I thought things were finally starting to look up for you, I'm sorry to hear that they are crumbling again. I wish I could give you some magic advice to make everything wonderful but life doesn't work that way. All I can say is keep on keeping on, you have got through this **** before and you can do it again. This girl though, she sounds like bad news, it is always very hard to step away from people who need help, but if someone I had helped treated me in that way then I'd leave them to it in future. If she went to the extremes of getting physically violent then I'd say move on from her, cut all ties. It sounds easier said than done to say ignore them, but seriously, school doesn't last forever, don't lose hope now because this isn't forever. Have you tried joing a club or something to give you something to do? Maybe find a new social group?
Well this was over msn and id put lyrics in my msn name and she said "GET THOSE LYRICS OYT OF YOUR NAME NOW! 1.HIM is my thing 2.Its not spelt that way don't piss me off today im not in the mood." at the point i said sorry and then she just turned around with a arrage of insult then called me a boy who stares at walls all day then blocked me...but that wasnt really the main concern thats just what threw me into depression to the fact...thats how people see me...im like the different person of the school im not like anyone else...so therefore people call me a ******, throw things at me, hit me, spray deo in my eys, beat the living hell out of me, etc, etc EDIT: I wish I did have a club or something to go to...But I'm so tied up with looking after my sisters because my step-dad always wants to go to the pub i really ave no time...I know this isnt forever...but 2 years is still a long time...It's just horrible every time I turn a corner I wait for the worst and sometimes nothing happens...thats when im lucky...but theyre always carefull to avoid teachers just to be sure and the things they do...i dont hae any proof they did it so i cant exaxctly tell anyone either...i feel so weak. I cant fight because I have glandular fever. which slows me down and means a hit to the ummy could be fatal...
I was treated like that for awhile last year and my years of primary school. In fact i'm having the same problem with a girl who won't tell me why she's completely blocked me even though i helped her through depression, boyfriend issue's and family problems and she won't even give me a reason but i've decided to not let it bug me and get on with my life because thats what she's doing and chances are she'll try to come back but be cautious and sort things out. If not don't stress no matter how much you can't help it. I'm stressing but meh. I got around the issue by just simply not caring and joining in and projecting myself above others. It made me come off as a complete badass to everyone which i thought was kinda cool but it wears off. This friend that writes stories, how about you and her come up with something to work on between the two of you, it will bond you two and if possible find others that like to write aswell and create your own cliche. I did it. If your nervous just think of it as if in the third person and you'll gain the confidence for it. The best thing for the bullying problem is simply pretend you don't care, as if your sleepy and don't care about anything around you. If they talk to you then just talk as if you hold no bad feelings. You may feel the nerves inside yourself but don't let them show. They might then let you alone and accept you. No one is a freak except those who choose to accept the label of "Freak". Your no freak, merely some one too timid to come out of there shell. Just come out of it and leave yourself shine amoungst everyone.
I'm a freak to most everyone else...The story writing girl and I...We both tried already...were really close friends...But I tried ignoring...I tried fighting back. I tried talking back..But it make 'em worse.
Well it won't work the first time. you need to ignore them majorly which takes quiet an amount of strenght to do. it's hard but you should continue to try because it works. I know that school must be torture but what i'd actually advise is to go onto a social network site where your class mates go onto and get to know them there because it really helps when your used to posting on a computer to people. it really worked for me and it's alot more comfortable.
I'll try the social site but ignoring...Ive tried doing that 4 yewars straight...they found it hillarious how i did or didnt react.
ya they tend to do that but all you have to do is laugh with them to show it doesn't bother you. they probably don't find anything wrong because they don't think it's actually hurting you. they are only out for fun even at someone's expense. It can be a challenge to get excepted but it'll just prove just how much of a fighter you are.
But...I don't really want to be their friends...thats half the problem...I don't want to mix with people who think theyre hardcore fr watching porn in class
thats just the thing. you wouldn't be their friends, you'd merely be sociable. I made the mistake of mixing friendship and sociability up. Be social without being there friend.
The closest I've got to being anywhere near sociable...was when I lost control and started headbutting a wall...bvery entertaining...And I would move...But the fact is theres about 7 people in the whole school who arent like that...And only 1 is in english class(the only class theyre more sociable in...)
drawing...im honestly shy and im always worried my drawings suck...im pretty good at poetry and love it...but too shy to write it in front of people...gaming consoles tend to go "missing"
I'm going to give you the advise that's probably your best way to go incase no one else's advise works out for you. First off, let's be frank about this. You aren't a freak, you just stick out. Fact of the matter is, your stuck in this hell-hole of a school, surrounded by immature idiots who think that it's cool to joke off, be cruel to others, etc. Quite frankly, they find you to be their entertainment, and a way to ignore the bull going on in their own lives. Now, I'm only going to say the things that I'm saying as the last resort incase you cannot find that positive advise that everyone seems to want to give. In all honosty though, let's face it. You're a good person, and they're bad people, and quite frankly, they're ruining your childhood. If you ask me, I'd say that unless there is a better thing to do, then if you are gonna have to spend the next 2 years going through this hell, you might as well enjoy it. Start taking the time to excercise, become stronger. That way if they try beating you up, you can fight back. As for anything that happens while you're in school, you should tell a teacher about it. Just because there isn't anyone around doesn't mean that you can't do anything. Just make sure that you have proof that they did it. I mean, ya, sure, they'll call you a tattle tail. But they are already ruining your life, right? Think of things this way. What is a more satisfying thing. For them to ruin 2 years of your life? Or for you to get them in trouble every chance you get which will put marks on their records for the rest of their lives? Maybe it's just me, but I like the idea of them having to go to a job interveiw and being asked every time about the marks on their personal record. Is there anything that contradicts what I am saying?
I...guess not...even if they get better grades if they have all the bad behaviour marks...it's me who wins in the end while theyre bin men! or low level mcdonalds employees
You seem very depressed and anxious about this all. You have reasons to be. As others have said, some people in school are just idiots. Others may not even see what they are doing to you because you get mad at some and then stare off or do something that makes you outside of their world. It's hard to ignore people that antagonize just to do it because they think someone is 'out there'. You are a nice person, but I can say that throwing tantrums such as banging your head on things, it does not help the image you wish to convey. It shows you are a bottle of carbonated soda, waiting to pop instead and that you are out of control and need some mental help. It makes some people poke more and others just stare at you like you are what you accuse yourself of being.. a freak. First up, you are not a freak. Many students in school feel they are different, unique from the others. Countless students get picked on because they send mixed messages to others and some people out there are just naturally possessing a cruelty streak to pick on someone they feel is weak or pathetic. What you need to do is show you are not weak or pathetic. You don't need sympathy, and you don't need backstabbing either. However, throwing tantrums or staring at walls.. that is not helping you show strength. You want to convey -mental- strength. Not physical strength or abusiveness to yourself or others. Some ideas to help you: 1. If someone needs help, it is normally a kind thing to go and help them. However, do not go out of your way to do so when that person is cruel to you back. You are not a door mat. That girl who you have helped is someone who obviously needs to think through things better and she does not deserve a free ride off of your compassion. You do not owe her a thing. Let her take care of her own problems and maybe she will grow stronger herself. She obviously does not want to be a friend and see your kind act as a friendship gesture. If people are like this, helping once or twice, sure, but if you continuously get shot down at merely being a friend, the person is selfish. 2. Tell the difference between a fair weathered friend (acquaintance) versus a true friend. An acquaintance is someone you can do favors for but just do not expect much back from the person. Do not be desperate to hold onto the person because acquaintances come and go and they can be nice to associate with, but they are not going to feel obligated to much of anything. A true friend is someone who will go out on a limb for another friend and you will both mutually be there for fun, laughs and through the bad times. The person will also try to get to know the -real- you. Acquaintances are people we hang out with socially and they can be fun but most aren't going to be there when the chips are down because they have their own lives and friends that are more important to them. The girl and some others.. these are all acquaintances. Accept there is a difference then in how you treat these people. Don't go out of your way for them unless you feel a desire to and -never- expect thanks or gratitude back. It can be nice to help someone in need, but they do not owe you anything if you choose to do so. A friend will give you back quality but an acquaintance won't. Lower your expectations on acquaintances and you will be less hurt and disappointed. 3. Find things you like to do and try to make friends and acquaintances in better social circles. These people around you either are cruel or they just don't know you or your interests. You may come off to some as snobby because others have already put you in a mood of disassociation. Don't let these other people control -your- mood. Try to be approachable and amiable to some other people and a new crowd. Some people suggested joining some clubs and activities where you can meet others. Try to talk to these other people and be a committed part of the group you do choose to join. Join something where your skills you possess can make you valuable to the club or group. If you can't find something in school, perhaps join even something outside of school where you can do charity work or something where you are part of a group of new people that are more mature. 4. Get a hold of that temper. Try to find new outlets. Don't show in school that people are getting to you. Beat on your pillow at home. Go to the gym and do something constructive with that anger. Build yourself up physically and it will help your mind. Play some music at home and vent singing to it, as silly as that sounds. Do not let others see they are getting to you if you can at all help it. These people will be in your life temporarily and it is a sad lesson to learn but learning how to control your temper in social situations that are against you is very important in life. Look for alternate routes for your anger and try to find ways of letting it go. These people will NOT be in your life forever. You will meet better people outside of school so look to the future. 5. Set yourself up with plans for the future. What do you want to be? What activities do you like? Think on these things and work more for them as a way of looking passed the idiots around you who won't give you a chance. You may find with time that if you seem to have a plan and goal in life that other things will ease up for you. Focus on your actual school work and still -try- to be communicative and amiable. Smile a bit more. When they mock you, shrug and say oh well. They don't know you. Let some get to know you by showing a side to yourself you hide because of the trauma you face. If you have plans and goals, things to do, etc, you have things to look -forward- to. They think school is a popularity contest. You'll do things they won't get and their parents have to sort out for them. Look forward and try to see that you are a decent person and just because some students are morons and don't want to appreciate you, it doesn't mean you are going nowhere. 6. If you feel very depressed and anxious, if nothing of our suggestions work, do see on maybe talking to your school counselor for tips and maybe even an outside counselor who can give you suggestions that maybe we cannot. Don't give up hope because again, these students will not always be in your life and the really real world doesn't work like this. College/University is not like school you go to now even. A job is not like this. There's competition, sure, but you can step up to that. That's part of what this game is they play.. picking on someone and holding them down. Just they don't get the rules of the really real world. In closing this looooooooooong essay, basically realize that these students are nothing more special than you are. They are going to be just as lost as confused in a couple years as you are now over how they treat you. You can adapt and become stronger, being prepared for life out there where people sometimes lie, steal, treat each other bad, etc, because you will have seen some of the crappiest unfettered and uncontrolled attitudes and actions in school. You'll be one up on these students and you can take the lessons and go further in life than they can because of this animosity you have experienced. You just have to figure out the tricks to do so, which will make you into a fine adult. The drama of school is a lesson learned and though at times as an adult you'll be kicked around, with what you are going through now, you will be able to take it and adjust yourself accordingly. The thing to learn here is how to deal with the pain others can inspire to exist in you. Try thinking seriously that -no one- can harm you mentally except yourself. You have to -let- these people matter so that their opinions hurt you and bring you down. If you can do what I suggested regarding separating what an acquaintance is versus a true friend, you'll have beaten these people from harming you anymore. It may take time, but people's attitudes in the negative only matter as much to you as you allow them. As for physical abuse... what I would do is attempt to basically let them get caught in the act and report them. They have no rights to be touching you physically in any manner that you do not want. Maybe try talking to your teachers and explain that you are shy and trying to come out of your shell and these people keep doing things to you physically and you'd just appreciate if perhaps they would watch a bit more to catch the offenders so that you can do what you are in school for.. to learn. If that doesn't work, again, try the counselor at your school and talk to your parents. They may have some suggestions for you too, as they know your personality more than we do. Whatever you do, try to not 'overreact' to it. If someone hits you and you hit them back once.. that's one thing. If you go and bang your head against the wall, or lose your temper, you look like the bad guy. So try to plan on how to deal with these things. If you have situations you want to give as examples on how to deal with stuff, feel free to post them. I wish you luck and please hang in there.
Thanks...My school counsellor doesnt do anything though(We dont have a school counsellor) and I even hide myself from my own parents...But I'll try what you've said...Thanks everyone S'all helped me a little and I'll try my best to get back in the game! Thanks for all your help your guys are better than the best!
Ignore this bullshit. As long as you are contempt with who you are and what you do, no other ****** will be able to control your actions. Think of it that way...They are rather dirty thoughts directed towards someone else, and if you ever develop too much of a dirty mindset, talk to a family member or someone you trust.
My god. Thank the pure luck that Emblendered did not pay a visit to your profile with his visitor messages :O Stop staring at the walls, please. When you notice yourself staring a wall, turn your head away and stare at something more interesting, you know... I usually stare at people and if they notice it, they are most obviously staring at me, so they cannot blame me for staring, for they have stared me too for the very moment!!! Ha!(try it)
