Illusion -Script- [KHV Members]

[Featuring:] Aura, Rissy, TheFuk, Lilbueno, Nova Nouveau, Archbadassman, Janime, Luna Lovegood, Guardian_Soul, The Rev

NOTE: Since this is a script, this is really a quick read. It's pretty much just setting and dialogue. The featured KHV members are mentioned in these scenes, so it doesn't mean that more KHV members aren't included.

CAST (As of yet): ​

Virah - Aura
Samm - Rissy
J.D - TheFuk
Jeffrey - Lilbueno
Ronnie - Nova Nouveau
Albert - ArchBadassman
Jacob - Janime
Michelle - Luna Lovegood
Ed - Guardian_Soul
Kexyl - Snorlax (or whatever your name is now)
John - The Rev
Kaytie - Magick
∞
"Give me a hand here fellas and get some nails out of my backseat."​

"I don’t care if this sicko is just screwing with us, we gotta find a way out!"​

"Look through the window; it’s pitch black out there."​

"Look, you and I can get out ourselves and then come back for them."​

"It's not your fault."​

Illusion​

Scenes One Through Four​

Spoiler

*Confrontation​

[Setting (At a high school). Teenagers weave their way through the crowds of the lunchroom, meeting with friends and grabbing trays from the front of the long lines. In the far left of the room, a group of teens sit with their lunch, loudly discussing an event from the weekend. RONNIE is sweet, but slightly paranoid. He has a dark past that he managed to forget, but the damage done is apparent. J.D is an avid smoker who’s quick to judge and attempt to make his own decisions, alone. He’s tired of the secrets and rumors floating around, though he has secrets of his own. SAMM, once a popular cheerleader is one whom most people cannot read. Inside, she is quite sensitive, but for reasons unknown to most of them she puts on a tough and intolerant attitude.]

Ronnie: Oh please. And what about you? (Perks an eyebrow)​

J.D: (Laughs and looks towards Samm) what about me? I wasn’t the one disappearing in the basement every five minutes with Kirsten.​

Ronnie: (Seriously) I told you, we were talking. Sammy was there. (Hits Samm’s shoulder.) Tell him we were only talking.​

Samm: (Stares vacantly at her shoes until Ronnie hits her again.) What?​

Ronnie: Jeez you’re no help. (Picks a fry off her plate and stuffs it in his mouth)​

J.D: (Waves to a girl walking by casually before looking back at the girl) What’s with you?​

Samm: (Pulls her cell phone out of her pocket and checks the time, then stuffs it back inside.)​

Ronnie: She’s just mad because I ate a fry. (He looks at her childishly and winks.) Fatso. That’s hot.​

Samm: (Groans in response, agitated with the immaturity. She gathers her stuff). I’m going to class early. I’ll see you in Chem. (She exits)​

J.D: (Awkwardly)…so…youlike"fatsos"?​

Ronnie: (Throws a fry at J.D) Shut up. (He snatches his stuff and goes to follow Samm)​

J.D: No man, it’s cool. I just prefer other types of chicks, you know?​

Ronnie: I said shut up. (He shoves him)​

J.D: (Falls dramatically into the wall.)​

Ronnie: (Laughs) Idiot.​

[Setting: On the opposite side of the cafeteria. JACOB is a peacemaker. He avoids violence at most costs and is very patient and gentle. JEFFREY is the all-around fun-lover. He does when he can to stay entertained and though he can be clueless at times, he’s loyal, sensitive and sweet. ALBERT is intelligent, intuitive and protective. Though he can snap easily and say blunt things if that’s the truth, he keeps mostly to himself and still maintains a calm attitude for the majority of the time. VIRAH is sarcastic, quick to anger and paranoid. She has a loving, sensitive heart, but cannot find the will to trust anyone, even herself. For the sake of others, she keeps this doubt mostly to herself, and even in situations in which she would be better off saving her own skin before another’s, she will still help. ]​

Jacob: …Hmmmm…(Meditates). Tranquility…peace…(exhaled)…(breathes)…Zen…peace…love…​

Jeffrey: (Glances at him) what’s he doing?​

Jacob: (Breathes)​

Albert: (Looks up from his book and then rolls his eyes.) Being himself…​

Virah: (Still setting up solitaire) Hippie…​

Jeffrey: (Curiously staring at Jacob.) Looks fun. (He faces the wall and begins to ‘meditate’ himself.)​

Virah: Oh God.​

[Virah gets her stuff and stands up. Albert follows. The both of them exit. JEFFREY and JACOB continue to meditate]​

*The Garden​

[In the Garden. Flowers blooming all around them, the dirt packed down under weeds and roots. There is a large fountain in the middle, doors leading into the school on either side of Virah.]​

Virah: (Groans and turns her attention to Ronnie a look of compassion momentarily crosses her face.) Hey…​

Ronnie: (He looks gently at her and responds to her groan.) What? You aren’t happy to see me? (He grins painfully at her). Weird how things change so drastically like that. I remember when you used to practically attack me with a hug when you first saw me after second period.​

Albert: (Instinctively, in a big brother sort of way, grabs Virah’s hand and pulls her towards the building to their next class.) Come on, V.​

J.D: (Steps out from behind Samm. He sees Virah and grimaces.) Hey, it’s the ditcher. (Teasingly) Where’ve you been?​

Samm: (Awkwardly, not truly understanding what’s happening feels uncomfortable) Hey let’s just go guys…​

[JEFFREY Comes out of the cafeteria with Jacob who has his eyes closed and is humming to himself]​

Ronnie:(Smirking bitterly.) Look—(He pats J.D’s shoulder). She brought the whole pack. This should be fun. (He never looks away from Virah.) Why?​

Samm: (Sees what’s coming and puts an arm out in front of Ronnie.) Let’s go, Ron.​

Ronnie:(He ignores her). Why’d you stop? What’d I do? (He takes a step towards her.) Why won’t you talk to me anymore? (He walks as far up as he can without Albert stopping him). What made you hate me?​

Virah: Stop Ronnie. You don’t understand. (Quietly) you never will. We can talk about it later.​

J.D: Later? (He laughs.) God knows as soon as we leave this spot it’ll be like we never existed to you.​

Jacob: (Confused) What’s going on? Are they going to fight or something? (To Ronnie) You shouldn’t fight a girl. It’s not cool, man.​

Ronnie: Like I’d ever fight Virah. (Sharply) She’s not worth all of that.​

Virah: (Hurt) Ronnie, stop.​

Albert: (Sensing the injury.) Let’s just go, Virah…He’s not worth it either.​

Ronnie: I just want an answer. It’s simple.​

Virah: (Suddenly, losing her restrict) An answer to what? Why I don’t—​

[The bell rings and people slowly begin to come out of classrooms and stuff crossing through the garden to get to their destinations]​

Albert: (Pulls Virah away from the scene)​

Ronnie: (Watching, and sighing exasperatedly after) Jeez…​

* Dinner At Albert’s​

[Setting: Albert’s House]

Michelle: (Calling to Albert.) You hungry yet?​

Albert: (Focused on his game) No…Are you done with the phone yet, Michelle?​

Michelle: Dad has it. (Brings a plate of food to Ed, Albert’s little brother). Put that thing down before you make it worse. (Goes into the kitchen.)​

Ed: Stupid thing won’t stop skipping the disc auntie. They’re brand new and the screen keeps freezing up. (Examining the battery)​

Albert: (Absently) why don’t you…why don’t you blow on the disc-holder…thingy, Ed?​

Ed: (Considers it)​

Albert: Is dad off the phone yet? (No response) …Hey, Michelle?​

Michelle: (Irritated)What?​

Albert: (Pauses his game) Is dad off the phone yet? ​

Michelle: He’s in a phone conference, Al. Who are you trying to call?​

Albert: (He resumes playing, turning his eyes to look at the screen again) My friend.​

Michelle: (Suddenly interested, she comes into the living room and sits in a seat next to him) Is it a girl?​

Albert: (Attempting to act casual.) Does it matter?​

Michelle: Do you like her? ​

Albert: Yeah. She’s pretty cool. (He hesitates). She’s kind of emotional but she’s cool.​

Michelle: (Rolls eyes) you know what I mean. (Takes a bite of her food.) ​

Albert: (Chuckles)​

Ed: It isn’t working Albert.​

Albert: (Shrugs and continues playing. A few seconds later a man walks out of the kitchen, setting the phone down on the counter.)​

[KEXYL is a quiet man. His eyes are sunken in, his voice heavy when he speaks, and his back slouched slightly. He pays no mind to his children in the living room, instead turning his back to them with a heavy sigh]​

Michelle: (Watches him as he turns back to walk into the kitchen). Big Brother?​

Kexyl: (Walks into the kitchen and turns the corner)​

Michelle: (Gets up and follows him, wondering what’s wrong.)​

Albert: (Staring at his father as he trails away silently, unnerved. He rolls his eyes and sighs out)​

Ed: (Looks at Albert) what’s wrong? Al?​

Albert: (He puts down the controller and grabs the phone off the counter.) Yeah—no, I’m fine…Play for me.​

* [Ronnie is not there]: Making Plans​

[Setting: Virah’s Room. It's an expansive room, but quite adequately lit. The walls are painted in soft amber, broken up by sheer, springtime green curtains on the windows.]

Virah: Hello?​

Ronnie: (He’s sitting on a bench at the bus stop on his cell phone.) I bet you forgot I have your number.​

Virah: (Exhales deeply, closing her eyes.) You’re a stalker…​

Ronnie: I kept the number. I made sure I did, Virah. Why’d you leave? (Softly) I’m not attacking you, I just can’t figure out why you—​

Virah: Of course you can’t! You don’t rememberanything.​

Ronnie: Then why don’t you dome a favor andremindme? (He sits up in his seat)​

Virah: (Frustrated, she slides onto the floor) Why don’t you do me a favor and leave me alone?​

Ronnie: (Quickly, before she can hang up) Why? 15 years. That’s how long we were best friends for and now you suddenly—(he lowers his voice as a man sits by him)—now you suddenly won’t even look at me. You won’t even tell me what I did! I want to fix it Virah. Why…why’d you stop talking to me? Just tell me please. Not knowing is killing me.​

Virah: …Someone’s calling me.​

Ronnie: No! Don’t leave…(Nearly whining) Don’t go, please…​

Virah: (Angrily) What? Are you crazy?​

Ronnie: (Mutters) Probably. But tomorrow…at twelve. There’s a spot by that lake we use to go to.​

Virah: Oh God—​

Ronnie: No, hear me out. If you don’t…(Pauses)…if you don’t trust me then you can bring your…(bitterly) pose. I’ll bring J.D & Samm too. Maybe you can just explain it to all of us. They were your friends too you know. J.D still thinks about you.​

Virah: Why don’t you just forget about me? (Somberly) Get a new best friend.​

Ronnie: Because…I can’t…and around—(the bus comes and he boards). Around the time you left—stopped talking to me—all of this stuff started to happen to you. I want to know if it’s my fault. No one talks about it. My parents loved you to death and now they don’t mention you. Now when I bring you up they look near tears. Whathappened? The last thing I remember was you staring at me from behind—​

Virah: (Remembering) You—you didn’t know…I—we…someone’s calling. (Hangs up).​

Ronnie: (Stares at his cell phone and sighs. He lets his headrest on the window. And he closes his eyes).​

(The phone rings and VIRAH sighs, answering while she moves back to the balcony.)​

Virah: Hello?​

Albert: Hey Virah. What’s up?​

Virah: (Tiredly) The stars. (She puts the laptop on her lap and types.) You?​

Albert: (In his bedroom.) The ceiling. Whatcha doing? You sound weird.​

Virah: (Hesitantly) I’m writing that essay for History. But…guess who called?​

Albert: (He sits on the edge of his bed and groans knowingly.) Do I want to? (Silence). The president of the United States.​

Virah: Ronnie. He asked me to go somewhere with him tomorrow.​

Albert: Like…(Uncomfortably) a date or something’?​

Virah: No. No…(Trails off.) He wants to talk about what happened that day…​

Albert: Are you gonna tell him?​

Virah: I don’t know. (She closes the laptop and sets it down besides her, holding her knees) I think...he’s been in the dark long enough. He really doesn’t remember and…I wouldn’t like to be in his situation, you know? I understand what it feels like…​

Albert: Maybe. I don’t trust him. What if he does something to you? You know if you don’t come back within like—an hour—I’m calling the cops. I don’t care if hedoeshave memory issues. Nobody kidnaps you and gets away with a pat on the back and a few stares.​

Virah: (Pfft)… He’s bringing the others. He said I could bring you guys if I didn’t trust him.​

Albert: I’ll go. (Jumping into his bed and getting comfortable)​

Virah: (Quickly) No. It’s for me and them to talk about. (She lays on her side.) I don’t want to take up you guys’ Saturday afternoon for my proble—​

Albert: Oh please. (Cynically) As if we were gonna do anything but hang with you anyways. I’m going if you go, Vi.​

Virah: (Laughs a little.) You’re a good friend…​

Albert: Yeah…? (Yawns)​

Virah: Yeah. I’m going to sleep now. You can call Rey and Jacob if you want to ask them to come. I’ll come to your place in the morning and we can all go down there. It’s a two-hour drive.​

Albert: Yeah, I remember.​

Virah: (Sadly) I think we all do…(She smiles to herself.) Night.​

Albert: Night, squishy…

Scenes five through seven​

Spoiler

* Invitation​

[Setting: In the clearing. Trees envelope the small dirt patch that has two cars parked side by side on it. To the right, there is a murky lake bordered by weeds and grass. In front of the two cars, there is a tall brown house with a porch. The house is small, several windows being seen. The roof looks tattered and somehow pasted on, the rest of the house seemingly barely intact. JACOB is wearing a pair of khaki pants and a RED band shirt. He looks tired and is obviously hoping this will be over soon. J.D is sitting in the back of Ronnie’s truck, clearly agitated at something as he sucks on a cigarette. SAMM is sitting in the passenger’s seat of the truck, head leaning against the seat with the door open. She kicks the dirt beneath her restlessly as VIRAH gets out of her car. She walks out into the middle of the clearing, nervously crossing her arms. ALBERT follows her hesitantly, an iPod in his hands as he shuts it off, holding a small book in his other hand. JEFFREY is laying on the roof of VIRAH’s car, staring up at the sky quietly. RONNIE sits on the hood of the car.]

Jacob:(Yawns as he steps out of the car) You shouldn’t smoke. (Scientifically) Did you know that over 5.4 million deaths are caused by tobacco?​

J.D:(Mockingly) Did you know that I really don’t give a damn? (He smirks as Jacob who, clearly irritated, mutters something and grabs a bag from Jeffrey.)​

Samm:(Sighs)​

Ronnie:(Hops off of the car and makes his way towards Virah)​

Virah:(She’s staring at the house.) Is…does someone live there? I don’t remember that being there before.​

Ronnie:(He looks at the house.) We could find out. I don’t remember it either…​

Albert:(He laughs to himself quietly, the distain held for Ronnie quite clear in his face) But there are a lot of things you don’t remember, aren’t there?​

Ronnie:Why don’t you shut up? (He takes a step towards Albert)​

Albert:(Smiles and continues reading the book in his hand) You aren’t worth my time. I’m not sure why Virah’s humoring you anyways.​

Ronnie:(Sighs exasperatedly, defeated)​

Samm:(Gets out of the car) Really though…I don’t get what’s so important anyways. (She makes her way to Ronnie and grabs his arm, whispering to him.) Just move on. You act like you’re in love with the girl. This is pretty pathetic of you.​

Ronnie:(Laughs bitterly) Is it? (He looks to Virah.)​

[It starts to rain]​

Albert:(Looks at her as well and then to Ronnie.)​

Jacob:(Trying to lighten up the moment)…I brought some celery…and-and some ranch.​

Virah:(Groans) …Let’s get this over with, okay? We came here to talk, so let’s talk.​

J.D:(Puts out another cigarette and moves over to them.) I’m finally seeing it your way, Virah. Maybe it really is better if we just forget about eachot—​

Ronnie:(Turns to him) No!​

[Everyone’s quiet]​

Jacob:(Looking around awkwardly.) …So…I’ll go get the celery. (Opens the back door of Virah’s car)​

[Suddenly, the door to the house in front of them swings open.]​

Jeffrey:(Laughs nervously, muttering sarcastically) That’s not creepy…​

[JOHN is a tall man in his thirties. His face is worn, eyes sunken in. His back is hunched slightly and his clothes smell distinctly of liquor. He is wearing a red plaid shirt, and dirty blue jeans. His brown hair is greasy and ruffled, his glasses on the tip of his nose.]​

John:(From behind Jeffrey). That’s what you think.​

Jeffrey:(Flinches, not having expected him there) OH MY GOD…! (He breathes deeply, trying to regain his composure with a blush as the others stare at him)​

Samm:(Inches behind Ronnie.)​

John:(Pulls some wood from the back of a truck no one heard or saw roll in. He takes it to the porch and comes back for a toolbox.) I’ve been trying to fix it, but nothing here’s working. ​

Virah:(From behind Albert who stands there protectively) Where—where’d you come from?​

John:(Spits to the side) I live here, ‘darl. Give me a hand here fellas and get some nails out of my backseat. The door ought to be open.​

Albert:(Staring, still surprised by his entrance.)​

J.D:(Moves to the car and gets the nails, handing them to John who’s already getting started tightening the bolts on the door.) Here…​

John: Thanks.​

J.D:So…(Rudely, to hide is uncertainty) You got a name or something?​

Samm:J.D…that’s not—​

J.D:Polite? Yeah well this ain’t the white house. (He winks at her and she flushes.)​

John:(He laughs) Sure isn’t. My name’s John.​

[Everyone introduces themselves timidly]​

Ronnie:(Slowly getting a little more comfortable.) You live here right? When was this place built?​

John:About a couple of years ago. (He stands and inspects the bolts.) I built it.​

[Virah and Ronnie exchange looks]​

Virah:This place wasn’t here back—​

John:It’s a nice area, ain’t it? Peaceful… (Breathes deeply)​

Jacob:Peaceful? I’m all for the peace and all but this place is creepy. It’s too isolated and too far away from the city.​

Virah:(Looks uneasily at John.) Hey Albert…let’s go. (Walks towards the car.)​

Jeffrey:We just got here! Now we have to drive two hours back? Man! I gotta pee!​

John:(Turns slowly towards them, his eyes twinkling) There’s a bathroom inside. It’s small but it’ll get the job done.​

Virah:Why don’t you go in the bushes?​

J.D:You scared, Virah? (Laughs)​

Virah:(Quietly to Albert) You saw it Al. He came from out of nowhere and he’s avoiding my questions about this house. I don’t like it. Let’s go.​

Albert:I know, I don’t like it either.​

Samm:(Moving towards them.)​

[Everyone ends up in a small huddle.]​

Samm:(Frustrated) Don’t tell me I’ve wasted my afternoon driving out here with these two obsessed losers forthis.​

J.D:What’s the big deal? There are what—seven of us against this one guy? C’mon! If something happens we can take him. Plus we all have cell phones right?​

Ronnie:No service all the way out here, man. With all the trees and stuff.​

[Silence. Each of them are engulfed in their own thoughts for a moment.]​

Virah:(Sighs). Should have never come…​

Ronnie:(He looks at her kindly) But you want it fixed just as badly as I do, don’t you?​

Virah:(She lowers her eyes and doesn’t answer.)​

Albert:We’ll talk later. If we go back now, we have time to catch a movie and maybe go to eat and talk about it.​

J.D:Fine, but somebody here owes me gas money. (Attempts to light a cigarette.)​

Samm:(Hugs herself.) It’s cold guys. Plus it’s raining. Let’s just go inside and…chill for a second. At least just until the rain let’s up.​

Jeffrey:I gotta peeee, Virah.​

John:(Looks questioningly at them.)​

Jeffrey:Just let me pee…​

Virah:Ugh, go.​

John:It’s the first door on the left.​

Jeffrey:(Runs inside.)​

[Everyone follows him inside.]​

* He’s dead?​

[Setting: Inside the house. The hour is dark, unlit. There’s barely any furniture and dust cakes the hardwood floors and the deep brown walls. It is a small house, almost the size of a cabin.]​

John:Make yourselves comfortable. On the other side of the hall there are some of them foldin’ chairs. (He sits in a rocking chair by an unlit fireplace)​

Jacob:(Leaves to go get them.)​

Albert:(Leaning against a wall near the door.) Hurry up, Jeffrey.​

Virah:(Quietly) Yeah…Albert I want to go home…​

Albert:(Whispers) as soon as Jeff gets out, we’ll leave.​

Ronnie:So, how long have you lived here for?​

John:(Staring into the fire that’s not there, flames reflected in his eyes.) A while now, actually. Me and my girl moved here. Like I said before, it’s a nice place. Peaceful.​

J.D:(Carelessly, still trying to get his lighter to work.) So, where’s your girl? (He chuckles.) She must be pretty hot for you to have built this place for her. (The lighter burns him as he turns it on.) ****!​

John:(Quietly) She’s here. She got out the car with me, ‘member? ‘Ey, I’m gonna go back and see if I can grab something.​

Jeffrey:(Back from the bathroom and standing besides Virah. He whispers.) Like a gun…? (He smirks)​

Virah:(Stares at him uneasily)​

John:(Goes in the back.)​

Virah:(Whips around and heads to the door.) Let’s just go.​

Samm:In the rain?​

Virah:He’s a psychopath, Samm! Get a grip! You heard him, are youstupid?​

Samm:I—​

Virah:(Sighs). Never mind, I’m sorry. Let’s justgo.​

Albert:(Turns the knob but the door doesn’t open.) Great, the door’s still screwed up.​

J.D:(Groans and moves to the door.) Just—Pull it. (Pulls on the knob.) Okay…(Rolls up sleeves and pulls on the door.)​

Ronnie: (Goes over to help him.) ARGH! What the hell?​

Samm: Try kicking it open or something.​

Jeffrey: (Goes to check the windows.) These don’t open either. (He coughs noticeably.)​

Jacob: You okay?​

Jeffrey: (He nods and grins.)​

Jacob: (Attempts to open the door.) Yuh-hun. Maybe we should just ask him for help…​

Virah: It really won’t open? (Moves to the door and attempts to open it. She rattles the doorknob. Frustrated, she hits the door and shoves her hands in her pockets, crossing to the fireplace.) Perfect. Exactly what we need. Another thirty minutes fixing the door.​

Albert: Calm down. Thirty minutes isn’t that long…here, hand me the toolbox.​

Virah: (She complies hastily and watches as Albert attempts to fix the door, removing the bolts entirely.) You got it yet?​

Albert: No, patience Virah. (He looks up at her and smiles.)​

Virah: (Exhales deeply and sits on a folding chair Jacob brought out.) Okay…​

[Outside the rain has begun to pour harder and thunder is heard. The sand and dirt turn into mud]​

Albert: (He stands and has a confused look on his face. He pushes the door.) No way…​

Ronnie: What? (Leaning on the wall on the floor with his head down on his knees.)​

Albert: I took the bolts holding the door on its latch completely off and it still won’t open. It’s not even moving.​

[Everyone stares at each other]​

J.D: (Laughs loudly, suddenly.) Quit lying man. (He goes to the door and pushes.) The hell?…What’d you do?​

Albert: Nothing! I just tried to fix it.​

Jeffrey: Where’s John? It’s been almost an hour…​

Virah: (Bravely, she peeks into the hallway, walking down through it slowly.) H-Hey…Hey, Albert…Albert come here…(She stops in front a large oak door, the wood splintered and split. Blinking, she tries to look through the small crack)​

Albert: (Walks over to her.) What? John?​

Virah: Albert don’t—​

Albert: (Pushes the door open.)​

[JOHN is hanging by a noose, his neck purple and swollen and maggots crawling around in empty eye-sockets. His arms, covered in dried blood, hang limply at his sides]​

Virah: Oh my God. (She buries her head in Albert’s back, her body shaking)​

Albert: (Slams the door shut, in shock.) Try the doors again!​

Ronnie: What? Why?​

Jeffrey: Wow, you’re awfully panicked aren’t you Mr. Calm cool and collect—​

Albert: I mean it! Try the door! (Runs to the door with Virah trailing behind him.)​

J.D: (Beats on the door.) What’s up? What’s wrong with Virah?​

Albert: Damn it! (Shuffles to her and gives her a tight hug.) I’m sorry. I am. (He grabs her shoulders and looks into her eyes, wildly.) It’s fine. Forget what you saw.​

Ronnie: What? What happened? (He shoots up.) What’d you do?​

Albert: (Snaps back, emotions in disarray) it wasn’t me, why don’t you go check it! God…! (He picks the hammer off the ground and throws it at a window. It clanks to the ground, the window unharmed.) What the…no…no, no, no…(he crosses to the window, picking the hammer up.) Come on! You stupid—(he runs a hand through his hair and breathes.) Try the door!​

J.D: It’s not working! WHAT’S GOING ON!? (He crosses to the hallway and storms into the back, swinging open the door. After seeing what’s inside he merely comes back into the living room.) It’s a trick. It has to be. ​

Virah: …We gotta get out. I don’t care if this sicko is just screwing with us, we gotta find a way out. ​

Jacob: (Surprised by the turn of events.) Maybe if we all just calmed down and analyzed it—​

Virah: ANALYZE WHAT? WHY JOHNS DEAD BODY IS HANGING IN SOME CLOSET? (She breathes.) Just shut up Jacob... The door wasn’t even open when we got here!​

Jacob: (Frowning.) Maybe J.D’s right. Maybe it’s a joke. ​

Albert: (Quietly) yeah…yeah. The body did look a little old for it to be recent, Vi.​

Samm: It was a sick joke though.​

Virah: I justsaid that it doesn’t matter. We still have to get out.​

Ronnie: We will. There has to be a cellar or something. Those windows should break. (Looks around.) Look for a door or something guys. Jeffrey, were there windows in the bathroom?​

Jeffrey: No. There was a square on the ceiling though. I noticed cuz I have arachnophobia and spiders have the tendency to build webs above me. (Shuffles to the bathroom door.) Maybe it’s the attic.​

Ronnie: (Goes to the bathroom, examining the ceiling. He attempts to reach it.) I can’t reach it.​

Virah: …Use the stool from the room John was in.​

Albert: (Looks at her.) I’ll get it…(He leaves.)​

J.D: (smoking nervously as thunder claps.) Jeez. This is your fault, Ron.​

Jacob: Don’t say that.​

J.D: (He eyes the group.) You disagree? If it weren’t for him we wouldn’t be here.​

Samm: (Irritably) Stop. Blaming people isn’t going to help anybody.​

J.D: It’s just as much his fault as it is Virah’s. If she weren’t such an idiot she would’ve already told him what he did wrong and moved on!​

Ronnie: Don’t blame her! She did move on. I was the one holding onto it all…​

J.D: There you go again! Protecting people. Why not protect yourself for once Ronnie? Why are you always defending people? If she gets hurt, that’s her problem, not yours.​

Jeffrey: Just because you’re a total ******* doesn’t mean Ronnie has to be…(He glances at the ceiling.)​

J.D: Shut up, no one was talking to you! ​

Virah: No, YOU shut up J.D! You’re sitting here yelling at everybody like that’s what’s going to get us out of here! Is it? Did some magical portal to home sudden open up somewhere, J? No. So why not just stop blaming everyone else. You didn’t have to come either.​

J.D: (Angrily.) Grow up! You want to be the leader here Virah? You think the world freakin’ revolves around you--! Being in control isn’t gonna save you.​

Virah: (Cunningly) neither is sucking on that cigarette.​

J.D: (He takes a long inhale.) Unlike you, that doesn’t really bother me much—​

Samm: Just stop…!​

Albert: (Back with the stool, he sets it down in front of Ronnie. )​

Ronnie: (Staring hard at J.D.) You should check yourself. I wouldn’t want to get on anyone’s bad side in this situation. You never know who you’re gonna have to count on…(He steps on the stool and pushes the square in the center of the ceiling.)​

[They pull out a ladder]​

Jeffrey: How is going up going to help us?​

Ronnie: (He climbs the ladder.) We can get off on the roof.​

Virah: The roof? It’s pouring out there. We’ll slip.​

Ronnie: Maybe…but it’s better than being stuck in here with a rotting corpse and a supposed psycho, right? (He continues to climb until he reaches the top and climbs over the edge.)​

Scenes Eight Through Eleven​

Spoiler

* The Attic

[Setting: The attic is dark and soggy. Water drips from the roof onto the wooden floor. There is light coming in from various holes in the attic. Creaking is heard from different places.]

Ronnie: (Making sure Virah is behind him.) Hey, Jeffrey, go check that window over there, Jacob check for a light. Samm, stay here with Virah to make sure nobody moves the stool. Albert and J.D, come with me to the other—

J.D: (He scoffs.) Who died and made you leader?

Samm: Why are you being so difficult? Just listen!

Ronnie: (Staring at J.D.) You and Albert come with me to the other side of the attic to look for openings if the door doesn’t work.

J.D: Alright King Ron. (He smirks and leniently strides over towards the first wall.)

Albert: (Groaning, he turns to Virah.) If you see something, yell for me, all right?

Ronnie: (Quietly) You’re not the only one she can yell for…

Albert: Hm?

Ronnie: What? Nothing. Let’s go.

[The men move through the long attic slowly, not wanting to slip. On the other side is a latch where a small doorway opens up. Jeffrey is checking a nearby window. He bangs on it to no prevail. Sighing, he looks towards the girls.]

Jeffrey: No luck this way…(disappointedly.) Sorry…(Clears his throat and coughs into his hand.)

Samm: (She smiles.) It’s not your fault.

Jeffrey: (He trudges back over there.) Yes it is…(He kicks a beam in frustration, dust falling from the ceiling.) It’s my fault we’re in here.

Virah: No…It’s John’s. He most likely planned the whole thing out…

Jacob: (He finds a light switch and attempts to turn it on. A flash lights the room momentarily and the bulb breaks, sending glass onto the ground as Jacob steps away.) Sorry. It went out…

Ronnie: (Moves towards the wall. A few meters away from it the ground suddenly begins to crack. He perks an eyebrow, biting his lip as he hears the wood began to splinter more ) ****, don’t move…

J.D: Pfft. I move when I wanna. ( Obnoxiously.) That alright with you, King Ron?

Ronnie: Shut…Up! Just shut up and don’t move. (He glares at him.)

J.D: Fine. But it’s not because you---

Albert: Shut up like he said! God you’re annoying.

J.D: (Turns to him.) Like you’re in the—

Ronnie/Albert: SHUT UP!

[They move slightly and the entire flooring gives out, causing them to fall through the floorboards. VIRAH, SAMM, JACOB, and JEFFREY move carefully to the other side in a panic. SAMM is physically trembling, VIRAH’s eyes are wide.]

Virah: (Peering over the hole.) That—

Samm: Nothing’s there. Where’d they go? (She turns slowly to Jeffrey and Jacob who are staring into the hole as well.)

[The debris and rubble beneath them that SHOULD have been, there is not. Instead, the darkness etching from the hole is that of a bottomless pit.]

Jeffrey: (Blubbering.) Aw man! I’ve seen this, guys. We’re gonna die. (He wipes some sweat off his forehead and groans in frustration.) I didn’t even get to tell that chick in English that I loved her. (He looks into the hole and then sighs sadly, this obviously quite serious to him.)

Jacob: Emily? She’s a transfer student. She doesn’t even speak that much English…

Jeffrey: (Quietly.) She spoke it enough to me…

[A loud boom is heard and the entryway in the bathroom to the attic closes off. Darkness engulfs the room.]

Virah: (Panicking.) Oh God, oh God, oh God…

Jeffrey: Shh, Virah.

Jacob: (Runs over, despite the slippery wood, banging on the square from where they entered. He then looks to all of them in defeat.) Sorry… (He moves back, breathing heavily and shudders)

Samm: (She looks into the darkness.) We’re stuck?!

Virah: (Losing herself.) Why!? Where’d the light from the cracks go?

[A noise is heard, coming from the corner of the attic. Everyone looks to the sound. Creaking of the old wood beneath them is heard, the sound rising in volume.]

Samm: (Inching towards Jeffrey, she screams as she trips and falls, disappearing from sight.)

Virah: SAMM? (She grabs Jeffrey’s arm.) Jeffrey—!

Jeffrey: I know, stay with me… (Softly, though shaken.) Just stay with me.


Virah: (Closes her eyes and puts her head in Jeffrey’s chest, shaking.) I wanna go home…

[It is pitch black suddenly, yet we can visibly see Virah standing face to face with a pale girl with white eyes. The girl is wearing a torn black dress, her fingernails painted the same color.]

Kaytie: Me too. (She puts her head up.)

Virah: (Looks at her, frozen.)

[The rest of the group has seemingly disappeared.]

Kaytie: You’re never getting out of this hell. You’re here for a reas—

Virah: (On impulse). Where’s Ronnie?!

Kaytie: (Her frown turns into a smile as she laughs before her smile abruptly vanishes.) Where are you?

Virah: What…are you talking about?

Kaytie: (She glides towards Virah, ambition spread across her face.) Look forward to the night.
(Curiously.) Why aren’t you afraid, I wonder?

*Jeffrey: Virah? Virah! Hey—hey, come back. Virah…(smacks her face as gently as possible.)

Kaytie: (Turns and vanishes.)
--
Virah: …(Breathes, as if coming up for air.) Jeffrey! (Tearfully.) Rey…

Jeffrey: (Softly.) We’re okay; we just fell…are you okay?

Jacob: (Caringly). Does something hurt?

Virah: No…we…we fell in the hole?

Jeffrey: Yeah but…(He looks to Jacob.) Samm and the others aren’t here…

Virah: Then…where are they?

* Separation

[Setting: There’s a cold room with cement floors and walls. An opened steel door leads to an all white hallway with a flickering light. RONNIE is on the floor, unmoving. He opens his eyes and holds his forehead. ALBERT is unconscious in the corner of the room and J.D is staring darkly at his lighter.]

J.D: (Looks up at Ronnie quietly.) Good Mornin’

Ronnie: Where are we? (He moves to Albert and shakes him.) What happened?

J.D: Don’t ask me, all I know is that we fell.

Ronnie: (Shoves Albert.) Lemme see the lighter.

J.D: (Throws the lighter to him.) Knock yourself out.

Ronnie: (He lights the lighter and touches the tip of Albert’s finger with the flame.) Time to wake up, buddy.

Albert: (He wakes and shoves his finger in his mouth.) What the hell?

Ronnie: You were unconscious…we need to think together and try to figure a way out of here.

Albert: (He looks up and sees a closed ceiling.) Where’s the hole? Where are the others? (Alert.) How’d we fall?

J.D: Ugh, slow down. You’re making my headache worse.

Albert: It was you…you made us fall, I remember!

J.D: (Darkly.) You’re saying I made the floor break? I made the rain soak through the wood? (Laughs to himself.) Nah…Even if I wanted to, I can’t do all that.

Ronnie: (Eyeing J.D but talking to Albert.) There’s a hallway out there, I think it’s our best bet.

J.D: More like our only bet.

Albert: This guy’s good. (He gets off the floor.) Whoever’s doing all of this is really good.

Ronnie: I’m not sure it’s just about being good…they’re separating us. Virah is with the others. Here we are, the most dysfunctional group of people in this hellhole, alone in some prison cell.

J.D: You’re point?

Albert: (Aware.) It’s for a reason. No one goes through all of this trouble for nothing.

Ronnie: Exactly. (He sighs.) We have to—

J.D: (Groans) We always have to do something.

Albert: Look, your arrogance is what got us into this…

J.D: It’s always my fault, isn’t it? (He snatches his lighter from Ronnie.) Fine. Go ahead and use your so-called logic. I’ll figure it out on my own. (Mutters.) Save you both some time, eh? (He walks towards the exit.)

Ronnie: No, J, we have to stay together. We don’t know who’s out there—

Albert: Yeah, we all just need to calm down.

J.D: (Harshly.) But that’s all you know, isn’t it? Composure. (He scoffs.) You weren’t so collected a second ago when you saw John’s body hanging from—

Albert: What do you expect?! It’s not normal to see DEAD guys bodies. Especially after seeing him alive just a…(he trails off) a second ago…

J.D: Who defines normal? I’ve seen a lot of crap like that. (Breaking) It’s not my fault! Why is it my fault? Why does that make me weird or not normal?

Ronnie: J.D just…slow down…(He takes a step towards him.)

J.D: SHUT UP! You don’t know anything! Neither of you do! (He turns and bolts out of the doorway.)

Ronnie: Wait, no! (He runs into the hallway.) IDIOT!

[There’s no sign of where he ran. Water is dripping from the ceiling and the long hallway’s light continues to flicker.]

Albert: (Frustrated, he runs a hand through his hair.) This house is..

Ronnie: God…! (He paces.) We’re all separated. J, Jeffrey, Jake, and Samm are still in the attic. We’re here and…J.D’s…God knows where J.D went.

Albert: Like I said. Do you think they stayed in the attic?

Ronnie: I don’t know. How woul—

[The lights turn off. A high-pitched quiet scream is heard.]

Albert: Uhm…(he chuckles.) Like a haunted-house.

Ronnie: What if it’s Samm? Or Virah?

Albert: (Realization of the possibility crosses his face.) I don’t—

[The room creaks and the door slams shut, trickling is heard and the lights flicker on. The room shakes and black water is seen spilling out from the cracks in wall.]

Ronnie: (He moves to the door and attempts to open it.)

Albert: Where’s it coming from? (He steps to the center of the room.) It’s filling up.

Ronnie: (Desperately.) ****. It’s shut tight. Look through the window; it’s pitch black out there. (He takes a stone and tries to break the window.)

Albert: It’s filling, Ron. We gotta get out.

Ronnie: I’M TRYING!

[The water begins to rise quicker. The lights turn off.]

Albert: RONNIE!?

Ronnie: (His voice cracking.) Y-Yeah?

Albert: We’re gonna drown! OPEN THE DOOR!

Ronnie: (The water is at his neck, the handle to the door underwater. He dives in and tries to open the door, not finding the handle. He comes back up.) I can’t find it!

Albert: WHAT ARE YOU—(spits and coughs.) TALKING ABOUT?

Ronnie: THE DOOR IS GONE!

* Reunited.

[Setting: In a large hallway]

Samm: (She stands up and looks around, moving to the first door. She is unable to open it and she groans.) RONNIE? (She looks around and walks further down the hallway.) JEFFREY? JACOB? (She tries another door and it’s locked as well.) How’d I end up all alone…

[She walks to the center of the hallway SAMM peers deeper into the hallway when J.D comes up from behind her and grabs her arm. She screams and he laughs...]

Samm: Where’d you come from?! (He shoves his arm.) You ass…

J.D: (He points to the doorway.) Over there. Ronnie and Albert are in some room back there. I’m surprised they haven’t followed me. You’ve been chilling in here for a while?

Samm: (She rubs her arms awkwardly.) I just woke up…this is weird; J…the house we were in wasn’t this big…

J.D: yeah, I know. Creepy ain’t it? The seven of us—if there are only seven of us—all locked in a house in the middle of no where…

Samm: Stop…We have to find the others.

J.D: (Smirks.) How come? (He moves a little closer to her and winks.) I kinda—uh—like being here with you. Alone.

Samm: (Pushes him back.) What’s wrong with you!?

J.D: (His smirk disappears, a dark look taking place on his face.) I don’t know.

Samm: Well…focus…please…(She moves pass him and looks into the doorway.) What’s with the lights?

J.D: (He stands besides her.) They’ve been doing that…

Samm: (She walks through the doorway.) Let’s go back for Ronnie and Albert.

J.D: Nu-uh. You can go but I’m finding my way out alone. Look, you and I can get out ourselves and then come back for them.

Samm: What? J…

J.D: No, really, we should. It’s safer.

Samm: You don’t even know how to get out of here! If anything, we’ll just get lost. I’m going back for them. (She begins walking down the hallway.)

J.D: (Watches her quietly.) Fine. (He walks in the opposite direction, pulling out his lighter and lighting a cigarette.)

Scenes Twelve Through Thirteen​

Spoiler

* Brothers

[The room is all black with a single bulb lighting it. VIRAH sits holding her knees staring into the darkness. JEFFREY and JACOB sit beside her, tiredly.]

Jeffrey: (Leaning on Virah.) You awake?

Virah: We’ve been here for hours. You guys sure there’s no door?

Jacob: There’s no anything…(He looks to her.) But at least we’re alive…

Virah: (Smiles and puts her head up.) Mr. Positive…I have to say, I’m glad I got stuck with you of all people. The both of you.

Jeffrey: (He grins.) Same here buddy. But I really didn’t envision myself in this situation with you guys…

Jacob: Here, I snagged some Skittles from the car. (He pulls out a single packet.) We can share them, if you want…

Virah: Let’s wait until…we’re starving.

[Silence.]

Jeffrey: This is nuts…how’d we get in here anyways? (He groans.) Where’d the rest of them go…?

Virah: I’m glad they aren’t in this hell. (Near tears.) I hope they’re okay and maybe they found a way out…

Jacob: I think they’ll come back for us. (He puts an arm around Virah.) We’ll be okay…

Jeffrey: (Does the same.)

Virah: (Puts her head down and stifles cries.) I love you guys…

Jacob: We love you too. And like I said, they’ll come back for us. Especially Ronnie. For your sake at least…

Virah: (She sniffs.) Ronnie…(Her voice is soft.) You know…I don’t even blame him anymore…I don’t know why…I just can’t let go.

Jeffrey: I wouldn’t be able to either…after what happened…but it’s awkward. Ronnie can’t remember so you must feel like the bad guy here, right? (coughs.)

Virah: Y-yeah…You guys? Back there in the attic, I saw someone. It was this girl (she sniffs.) She told me to look forwards to the night.

Jacob: She means now? Like, tonight?

Virah: I don’t think so. I’ve heard it before. Look forward to the night…I think she needs help…It’s weird I know, but she said she was—

[The light flickers and the room trembles. The group look upwards at the ceiling. Creaking is heard. VIRAH burst into tears. JACOB and JEFFREY hold her tighter, and scoot closer.]

Jacob: Shh, it’s okay.

Virah: (Continues to cry.) No it’s not…

Jeffrey: (He kisses her forehead.) It’ll be okay, we’re okay. We’re here with you, you’re not alone…

[The light turns off but an entrance about three miles away opens. The darkness is stretched out until that point, the door is cracked open and showing the tiniest bit of light]

Jacob: See! (He stands and brings Virah up with him.) See, it’s okay, there’s a way out now. Okay? You alright?

Virah: (Nods silently.)

Jeffrey: (He grins for her sake only.) Cool, (he bends down.) All aboard, Virahy, let’s get out of here.

* A Secret

[Setting: The room ALBERT & RONNIE are in is filled with water. SAMM opens the door. RONNIE & ALBERT are on the cement floor dripping wet but the room is entirely dry. SAMM runs to them.]

Samm: Ronnie! (She shakes him.) Albert!

Albert: (awake.) Hey…(He shuts his eyes.)

Samm: Albert! What’s wrong? What happened?

Albert: Where are the others? (He sits up.) Where’s Virah?

Samm: What happened?

Albert: There was…(pause.) Did you see J.D?

Samm: (Slaps him.) Focus! What happened?

Albert: I don’t know. There was all this water and…we were drowning…(His eyes widen.) We were drowning! (He stands suddenly.) This is unbelievable! We gotta get out! Please, tell me you found a way out…Did the others get out of the attic?

Samm: (Touches Ronnie’s face.) I don’t know. Is he okay?

Albert: Is he breathin’?

Samm: (She checks his pulse.) Yeah, but…he’s so cold…Albert, I’m scared. I mean it. I’ve never been so scared in my life.

Albert: (Smirks.)

Samm: What?

Albert: Everything. (He sits.) This is so creepy. Just last night I talked Virah into letting us all come. She only wanted it to be Ronnie and her.

Samm: Do you blame them? (She continues to look at Ronnie.)

Albert: (He looks at the wall then at Ronnie.) No. I’d follow her to hell if she asked.

Samm: (Frustrated.) Why? What’s so special about Virah?

Albert: (He looks at her.) I sense jealousy…

Samm: No, I mean it. Why are you all obsessed with her?

Albert: (Quietly.) It’s not really…her personally. It’s a secret.

Samm: (Interested.) What? What secret?

Albert: (He looks at her more seriously then he ever has.) Secret’s aren’t to be shared.

Samm: (Snapping.) Just tell me!

Ronnie: (Coughs and sputters. His eyes open.) I… Samm! You’re okay! Where are the others?

Samm: I…(She looks at Albert.) I don’t know. I fell, like you guys. (She whispers.) Tell me later Albert…

Albert: (Stares at her unblinking.) Whatever…

[The lights flicker. A thump is heard in the corner. Incoherent whispers are also heard in various places.]

Ronnie: I don’t think…it’s John.

Albert: …I don’t think it’s human.

Samm: (Eyeing the lights, she shivers.) It has just started. This is the beginning.

Albert: …We gotta find everybody.

[The lights turn off for about ten seconds.]

Albert: We gotta find them… now.

* Tragedy

[Setting: The darkness is the same. Unlit except for the tiny bit of light from the door in the distance.]

Virah: Rey?

Jeffrey: (Focused) Hm?

Virah: Am I too heavy?

Jeffrey: (Genuinely.) No, not really. Am I going too slow?

Virah: (She shakes her head.) You’re fine…(drifting to sleep). This reminds me…of my brothers. They used to give me piggy-back rides all of the time…

Jacob: Virah…just rest, okay?

Virah: See? (She yawns.) No one ever listens…

Jeffrey: (Coughs.) That’s cuz you don’t talk about it unless you’re delirious.

Virah: Yeah? This whole thing has made me think about it all in a deeper way. It’s stressful…

Jeffrey: I know. It’s trying for all of—(coughs and stops walking.)

Virah: (Slides off his back and rubs it gently.) You okay?

Jeffrey: Y-yeah…I’m sorry Virah. Could Jake and I tag team?

Virah: It’s okay. I can walk. Thank you though…

Jeffrey: (He smiles at her but he moves his hand to his throat and his smile vanishes.) You’re wel…welcome. (Coughs and falls on his knees.) Sorry—(coughs again.)

Jacob: (Stares and bends down besides Jeffrey.) Ry?

[Whispers are heard and a small child’s laughter. JEFFREY continues to cough, seemingly choking. VIRAH pats his back and stares worriedly into the darkness.]

Virah: Do you hear it, Jake?

Jacob: Y-yeah. You okay, Jeffrey? Please be okay, I don’t think that door is planning to stay open for much longer.

Virah: You’ve had that cough since we got in here…(She rubs his back.)

[Hisses are heard along with growls and sneers. Outlines of figures are seen in the darkness.]

Virah: ****, Jeffrey, get up! We gotta go!

Jeffrey: I—(coughs.) Jacob! (With authority.) Take Virah.

Jacob: (Looks at him confused.)

Jeffrey: Now. I mean it. I’ll be fin—(he coughs and pulls his hand away with blood.)

Virah: What?! No! No, Jeffrey! Just come on!

Jeffrey: (He smiles.) It’s okay, J. I’ll be fine. I just want you guys to go. To be honest, I can hardly see you right now. Sort of…dark…

Virah: (Wildly.) No! (Grabs his hand.) Come on! Jacob, help me!

Jacob: (Confused.) …You’re hurt?

Jeffrey: I…

[A shriek is heard and several growls. JEFFREY pulls VIRAH to himself.]

Jeffrey: In the bathroom, earlier…there was this black fog stuff that came from the vent…(He clears his throat.)

Virah: Like…Like a poison?

Jeffrey: Exactly. But I need you guys to leave. (He faces Jacob.) You’re my best friend Jacob…Jacob…take her for me. (Weakly.) Sorry for being so reckless…go…I mean—(stops talking.)

[JEFFREY has gone completely limp.]

Virah: (Softly.) …Jeffrey? (Silence.) Jeffrey?!

Jacob: (His hands are shaking.) No…way…how’d he…

Virah: (Lunges towards Jeffrey, despite the threatening noises coming from around them.) Jeffrey! Jeffrey, no! No! Jeffrey! That’s impossible, you were fine! You were perfectly fine!

[The figures get closer. VIRAH is practically screaming now. JACOB, despite his own emotions, finds the strength to drag VIRAH away from JEFFREY’S lifeless body.]

 

That was fun to read. Interesting as well. Even though you have told me the plot of it, I still want to read more. Can't remember if you told me exactly what happened with Ronnie, but the talk between him and Virah made me curious. And the ending with Albert and Virah was sweet.

Pretty damn accurate, I have to admit. I'm not good at giving CnC about scripts/plays, but I do enjoy reading them. Can't wait for the rest.​

 

I am NOT clueless B|
EVER.

And I can't believe that's the part you gave me after we talked about that! Oh well, it's still good.
The only thing I saw was

I guess you forgot to change J into V?

Anyways, can't wait for those cliffhangers.
​

 

This was a very good read for me. And I'm not the type to say, "hey, that's not how I am", my character was cool, I would have like to seen a little retaliation when I got pushed though. xD

I'm actually really anxious to hear the rest. Great job. c:

 

I'm glad you liked it. :3 I didn't tell you exactly what happened between them, so that I wouldn't spoil it for you. o: ​

You know, I edited that last part just for you and her. xD I don't even think Luna knows she's in this. <<;

Thank you very much. ^^ And, KHV messed up the format of something things so the italicized parts didn't have spaces between them and some sentences randomly split. ; ; I'll update soon.​

Well, you're clueless now. B| Bwahaha, I can make you be whoever I want you to be, I'M THE AUTHORRRR! *Thunder and lightning*


But you remember, he's my favorite. D: You should be flattered.


And I edited it now, thank you. *Used auto-correct/find and replace*​

xD Yeah, I know what you mean. And thank you. I always want to face-palm when people complain about the character not being like them, especially if I don't know they that well. D:

I'm really glad you liked it. There will be more soon. :3 ​

You're welcome, hunny-bunnyyy. <3

Glad you liked it.

(You're better. ;3)​

 

Basically what everyone else said. It was a good read for me. And that's saying a lot. 8D

Can't wait for the rest~

Oh, and Jeffrey and I are obviously the best two in the story.​

 

I know, because you don't like to read! xD I'm glad you liked it.

...:lolface:



Alright, updated.​

 

Albert's a genius. B| That's why he survives so--...Anyways.

Edited that now. :3 And thank you very much. Glad you like it. I guess in terms of critiquing, the things I need to know is if it's going to fast or the scene's aren't clear, or someone sounds out of character. Dx

Thanks again. x3​

 

That was better than the first read. More ... addicting? I think that's the word for it. 8D

Jeffrey and I still are the best. I was a beast getting those chairs.

Everyone should listen to me in the story, things would be peaceful. Maybe.

Anyways, it was great~<3

Now I wait.​

 

Creepy. I don't know why I suddenly flinched when you described the dead body. Weird. Anyway, good. Like Squ-I mean Arch said, there's not much critique to give. Everything is going at a nice pace, though.
Can't wait to read more.​

 

That's so cool. :=D: Rarely do we see horror/thriller/suspense writing here. And omg, I'm in it. 8DD

I really like the style. Even though it's in script format, there's still really good description. :3

 

What are you talking about, Jeffrey AND I?
You can be second best.


Oh wow, I saw the foreshadowing there >>
Anyways, keep them coming. <3

Have you written anything beyond what you've shown me?

 

I can see a very interesting tale here. I must say, however, the dialogue is absolutely wonderful. Half of the time I was imagining The Fuk as Thelonious Monk.

I shall watch in anticipation.

 

xD Thank you.

Yes, indeed you were a beast.

Glad you liked it.​

I'm sorry. D: I'm glad you like it, though.

:3 ​

That you are. And yes, you do appear more than once. xDD

Thank you. ^^ Nice to hear.​

There was foreshadowing? *Shot*

And yes, I have. o: ​

Thank you very much, hun. ^^ Haha.

I'm gad you like it. ​

Updated now.

The formatting is off because, well, it's really annoying to have to navigate between Chrome and Internet Explorer. Still, I hope you enjoy it. :3 ​

 

*Scene...<<;
But yeah. D: I'll edit that! I'm stupid. xP

And more shall come. You have a big part coming up. xD

Thank you. <3

 

Ooh, better and better every time, to me at least. 8D

I wanna know what happens. ; ; Gogogogogogo.

It was great though, like always. And I'm looking forward to the next few scenes. ^^

Too bad I can't find anything epic I did in these scenes. ; ; Eh, I'm the best either way.​

 

Not much to say. It was good and if that was actually happening to me, I would have died by now from how badly scared I would be.
I have a feeling something's going to happen to J.D. and maybe even Samm.
Keep it up.​