If you thought you weren't that great, chances are that society is to blame.

oh god why is this in spamzone, you guys ruin it

 

Mike, you are a beautiful person.

 

lolthisthread

 

This is all that I got from this thread. Ienzo afrees.
I don't know what she afrees with, but if she afrees, that side is right.
I wish we could all be in afreement sometimes. Why do we disafree?
Is that why black people hate white people? Because they once were free, but not afreed with?

 

Well YEAH, that's how it works. If you blame a killer for killing your family then of course you're going to resent and shun them.
And if you hate society why would you want to succeed in it?

 

No reason to be sarcastic?

 

If you actually thought she was being sarcastic, you probably would not have responded.

If you thought she was not, then you are intentionally self-deprecating in response to a comment, and that is unattractive.

You should learn to take compliments well, or people might stop giving them.

 

It was a question. I can't tell with this thread anymore, plus its spam zone.
Must you always have something to say? For someone who doesn't like me or approve of what I say you sure follow my threads.

[video=youtube;u4FF6MpcsRw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4FF6MpcsRw[/video]​

 

And the inner Brittany Spears fanboy comes out to play

 

Seems a bit rough, Makaze was merely giving his opinion like you

 

I said what I said for a reason because its what I feel. I feel like I'm always getting attacked in threads that I made to help out other people. I'm tired of it. I'm not sure if your aware of the situation, but this is a continuous pattern.

 

I follow all threads in this section. I try not to miss a single post, thinking about it. If it were just distaste, I would probably ignore you, but you often say things that could be improved with a little bit of critical thought. I am not attacking you, but if you say or do a lot of things that could use correcting then it might seem that way.

It is those who are not good at taking criticism and advice that I feel most compelled to criticize and advise, because they are the ones who need it more than anyone.

 

There are limits. This thread turned into something that you would see in the section discussion. For your information and anyone else...I made this thread because I was going through something. I took heart to what someone said and I was upset and felt like I can't be who I am because I'm too "sensitive" or whatever. I'm thought to be gay because of that. A girl at my job told me that she thought I was cute but thought I was gay because I'm skinny and I'm too "polite, honest and sensitive". It's just who I am and I've been told that a number of times. I felt really depressed and then days went by and I turned it around. I thought about the situation and posted that "If you thought you weren't that great, chances are that society is to blame." I figured that it would help others and myself. I rather be a good hearted person than be someone else. If people want to believe me as someone who is gay...for now on I won't be upset with it. I'll take it! It's not horrible at all.

So naturally I posted it on KH-Vids as a reflecting thing, but of as usual leave it to spam zone to pick and pry every meaning of that and take it to the next level. It didn't mean more. Everyone knew what I meant, but it just had to be taken advantage of and that bothers me.

 

This thread made me feel better about myself.... Then it was ka-Makaze-d. ~sigh~ He always makes good points though.

 

Here are a few pointers that should help you to avoid these outcomes in the future.

• Choose your wording carefully. Try to take what you are saying the wrong way, and if it seems easy to do, then amend it until you have the most accurate verison of what you wanted to express and have trouble taking it the wrong way yourself.
• Specify context. If you can think of situations where your expression would be inappropiate, then specify context in order to avoid misunderstandings.
• Reflections should be inward. If you are going to start a thread, people will take it as something to be talked about. Because of that, posting a reflection as its own thread invites comments on how insightful it is. You cannot expect all of your reflections to be good ones, so you should only post what you are willing to reconsider.
• Do not rationalize. There are hundreds of ways to redirect frustration, but redirecting it is not always helpful. If you want society to view you correctly, then whether it is your fault or theirs that they do not understand is irrelevant, because changing your mind about that is not going to change whether or not they understand.
• Do not rationalize publicly. Rationalization itself is unhelpful. Seeking for others to affirm your rationalizations can be disastrous because it can strengthen your conviction in something that changes nothing about your goals. It is never good to express rationalizations in hope of agreement, especially if you are unwilling to accept that it was an invalid rationalization.
• Do not get offended. No matter whose fault it is that those who responded misunderstood, getting offended and showing it is not going to improve the situation.

 

There you go again. I do not need advice. You gave me a list of things to do so I can avoid "these outcomes". This is a thread I created in which I felt like crap about myself and took it to a point to express how I felt and tried to help others. The point I was making is that people are going to judge, but at the end of the day its important to be happy with yourself for who you are. If you are hurting people and causing destruction this doesn't count to that kind of person. If you are living day to day being a normal person and struggling with who you are and people are taking you down based on your interests, the way you dress and act...then this quote is for those people. It's nothing more.

 

The problem is that this quote has a fundamental flaw. You think that you do not need advice, but in the end all you did was rationalize, and rationalize on top of it. You don't seem to understand that what you meant is not as important as what you ended up with. If you continue to act as you are and refuse advice, then you are proving our point. Right now, we are society, and you are blaming us. Well, me specifically currently. It is not all our fault that we misunderstood.

Your wording was very open and vague. On top of that, you are acting as if it is our responsibility to infer what you meant from almost nothing and that if we judge you for what you actually said instead of what you meant, it is our fault. You left your wording open to apply to anything, and now you blame us for not seeing the specificity in your words.

We have made an assumption about what you meant based on what you said, and you have provided evidence that supports our assumption. That more or less proves that you did in fact mean to apply it to things other than visible factors.

I can accept that you meant it for those people now, but you were not clear on who it was meant for, and as you can see, most of the people who responded took it as generally as you worded it. Even if we were to infer that it was for that audience, the advice itself was so vague that if they took it to heart, they would reject any criticism from others as a fault of theirs.

It is this mentality that you do not need advice that I am warning you about. Instead of accepting that your reflections could be harmful to both you and others, you assert that others need to avoid openly disagreeing with you, and that they are in the wrong for doing so.

 

I'm not doing this. Again I stated what I said based on how I feel. Anybody can take it the way they want. I don't CARE anymore. I was just trying to help, but the thread is apparently not about that. It's about the fact that I can't have anyone disagree with me? I didn't say that...

 

It is about how you feel that it is up to others to understand you rather than up to you to make them understand. You have said something and it was taken in a way you did not intend. Instead of thinking about what you might have done to make them misunderstand, you insist that your intentions were good, and that those who misunderstood are to blame for the misconception.

Even in that post, the one I am quoting right now, you say you were "just trying to help". It is not about what you wanted to do. It is about what you actually did and your refusal to learn from it. In order for people to learn, they have to work through trial and error. You give an input and you get an output. If the output is not what you wanted, then you have learned that the input you gave is how not to get what you want. So you put in different input.

What you are doing is putting in an input, getting an output that you dislike, and saying that the output is wrong because it isn't how you wanted things to go. What you need to do is observe that when you say what you did, this is what happens. Thus, if you want a different output, then you will have to say something different next time. How long are you going to go around claiming what you wanted when the results are not changing? What are you going to do, say the exact same thing next time and blame others again when you get the same result?

 

I guess I should just say that sometimes it's better to let go. It's best not to think everyone welcomes critical scrutiny on such a literal level, either. There's always a method for everything. The important thing is that we as members respect and are mindful of each other.

also that advice is so obvious lol. I'm surprised people even misinterpreted it. One would think they were being nitpicky, herp.

Oh wait, this is the spamzone

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