If I made you smile.

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Jayn, Jun 16, 2008.

  1. Jayn

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    4,214
    It's been a while since I've seen it,
    A real one, I mean.
    There have been many replicas,
    But none with that gleam.

    The spark in your eyes,
    The crease in your cheeks,
    It's so far away,
    But still in my reach.

    I needed to see it,
    Before you were gone,
    Your memory faded,
    Not outlined for long,

    I want to remember,
    That curve that I've missed,
    The one that I've longed for,
    The one that I've kissed.

    You know I still miss you
    And wish you had stayed,
    It could have been easy,
    If it were displayed.

    The heart of my passion,
    The light in my dark,
    Your smile should link us,
    When we are apart

    If I cant revive it,
    Then find one who can,
    Just soften your voice,
    And give me your hand.

    I've tried hard to help you,
    Been all I could be,
    I hope that she'll see it,
    And make you happy.

    I'll leave you alone now,
    But think for a while,
    Would it have been different,
    If I made you smile?
     
  2. Scarred Nobody Where is the justice?

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
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    Male
    1,359
    that's a cute little poem. i really liked it.
     
  3. Jayn

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    4,214
    Thanks a bunch =]
     
  4. Scarred Nobody Where is the justice?

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
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    1,359
    you're very welcome.
     
  5. Chevalier Crystal Princess

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2008
    Location:
    Trapped on an Island
    552
    wow, it isnt exactly to my liking

    but its so good

    the riming was good too.....
     
  6. Jayn

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    4,214
    Thanks...I think....Wait, wha? It's not to your liking, but it's good...? O.o;;
     
  7. Pure Beats~ Chaser

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2006
    Location:
    Watching the sunset
    53
    That was great. I loved it.

    It flowed perfectly and the rhyming scheme was great. ^^
     
  8. Jayn

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    4,214
    :glomp: Thanks ^^
     
  9. Vex123 Traverse Town Homebody

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2006
    Location:
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    Wow . . . that might be the most insightful thing I've seen on the site. It's perfect, I love it! Five Stars! It perfectly portrays the deep love one can have for another.
     
  10. Jayn

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2007
    4,214
    Wow. Big compliment. Thank you =D (hugs)