Ok this is sorta a long story REALLY long. so bear with me, and it takes a while to get it. About 5 years ago a girl moved into my neighborhood... I was 9 years old and she was 10. Since the moment i saw her i liked her more then any other girl. 5 years later I still think the same. ok heres the whole story. I'm now 14 and she's 15. We've always been pretty good friends we always laugh and talk. I'm not really sure that she knows i still like her, I know she doesn't like me that way... She's always been attracted to older guys, she's the type of girl that likes the really cool guys you would see at beaches and California... ---___--- At the moment i've found out that she likes a guy who's 17. But I've talked to him about it and he doesn't really like her that way. But I don't know if that is true since i've only met him once... So recently i went to a semi-formal party where there was mostly just dancing... Unfortunatly there was about 17 slow dances... Constantly he was asking her to dance to the slow songs right before i was about to. And likewise she would answer "yes." I have a really good friend (she's a girl) and hangs out with her ALOT. Unfortunatly for me she's a two timing backstabber! She always says she's helping me but i recently found out that she's gettin her his number and really tryin to get them together... Ok back to the story... Finally i got up the guts to ask her to dance and she said yes surprising me that she wouldn't say no that she would want to dance with him... Well it turned out to be really nice. Ok so the next day i hung out with her again at a park because there was a large picnic goin around... So most of the time i was sittin on the swings tlakin with her and her friends. At the end of the nite she began to talk about him Alot. It really hurt to have to listen to her talk about him this much. Well i walked along with her best friend (not the two-timing backstabber lol) and she knew that i had liked her before this. So she asked me "you still like her dont you?" and i answered "Yeah 5 long years..." And so she proceeded to say "You do know that she's really tryin to go out with that guy right?" (condensed version) I solemnly said" Yes i know, but i dont really care i just want her to be happy" It almost hurt me to say that= I wanted her to be happy with me not him... 3 months later i found out she doesn't like him!!! shes back on the market. Now about a few months later I went over to her house with all of my friends and we played this game that is called "Wearwolf." its like a backwards way of playing hide n seek. Well, while i was playing it was her turn to play. BTW her name is Rachel. Ok, anyways so while we were seeking for her i broke off with this other girl and guy. So as a way to lure her out I said just joking around- "I wonder were that ugly girl could be hiding!" and the girl i was seeking with said "Oh come on!! you know u have loved her for the past 5 years..." AND GUESS WHAT!!!!! she was hiding right in the shed behind us. I ran off worrying she was there because i didn't know she was there then. So, after someoen finally found her she said that she heard everything. But not in a good way, she didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. Didn't even say goodbye to me. I just sat back and listened to "Bullet for my Valentine" (band) about a month later i have to go up to new jersey to my aunts funeral. Im really bummed about the hole thing that went down there and im tryin REAL hard to get over her... So A grreat thing happened while i was up at new jersey... and then turns to CRAP. While im up there im staying with my 12 and 8 year old cousins. (both girls) So my 12 year olds cousin is this 13 year old girl that is SUPER HOT and i verbalized that i wanted to meet her. I got my cousin to email her and the girl kinda laughed and i finally emt her one night. It was just really at a glance. My brother was also with me (hes 17) So. the day after my cousin emailed her asking what she thought of me. and this is wat she said and i quote! Well ya know you can NEVER tell about someoen at just a glance. turns out shes a lieing erm well... you get it. ok so turns out she was in love wiht my brother. AND HE WONT LET ITN GO. to this day he rubs it in my freakin face... I came back and wanted to kill myself. How could life be so cruel. I have told No one about this but my best friend. My brother at one of my friends house just mentioned the girls name to all my friends so now they are bugging me to know the whole story but they dont. I can't seem to stay away from Rachel, she just seems to be always dragging me back in. my other friend (guy like me) likes her too. in fact he recently asked her out. she said no. lol. Ok But the bad thing is she said this in a text to him. "Atleast you had the balls to tell me unlike Tyler (me.) His name is Brenton. Rachel (girl) Ok. so. My friend told me the whole story and i was compelled to text her. So i started off the text by small talk. then i said "Brenton told me that you said i didn't have the balls to ask you out. Is that true?" ok now this is EXACTLY how she answered. for some odd reason she talkd to me as though she was talkin to someone else. idk but it was directed to me no one else. "Yea. You were younger then. But Tyler has more of a chance then Brenton does with me." Ok so after the sent that text i texted her. "Well i just really want you to know that the reason i never asked you out or told you i liked you was because i didn't want it to affect our friendship. Ya know make it awkward. and i basically always knew the answer if i had asked you." After that text she enver texted me back so i got really worried that she was dodging me. I then wated to see her in person. After talking to alot of my friends about it i said whatever. I've wated 5 years im gonna ask her out. This was Monday. I was supposed to see her Thursday. She was sick. I was then supposed to see her friday. She didn't show up at the play. I was DIEING. I needed to tell her. Ok Sunday (today) i finally saw her. She looked great. But i couldn't seem to get her alone! i didn't want to talk to her with all my friends around. Finally they left but my brother was sittin there. :( ok well her mom finally walked up and said that she had to leave. So she walked out the door. So i ran out to meet her there and i ran up. I asked her hey whyd u stop texting me. She said "Oh. I got sidetracked. I meant to text you back." I felt very relieved. Ok so then i asked her if she got my last text. She said no. So i told her my Text. "Well i just really want you to know that the reason i never asked you out or told you i liked you was because i didn't want it to affect our friendship. Ya know make it awkward. and i basically always knew the answer if i had asked you." After telling her this we were almost to her car. So i said. "Well i guess im uhh. Asking you out." She looked at me and stuttered there for a while. I looked down at her. (shes 1 year older but im taller) She kinda stammered and i said. "Ya know anytime now." BUT NOT IN A BAD WAY. i made sure to do it in a sweet kinda way. She said: "uhh no." My heart dropped to my feet. I was crushed. I felt like i was gonna pass out and die there. She looked at me and said "Well its just all the problems with out friends realationships..." And i kinda cut her off and said "Rachel, please. If you dont like me just tell me." She said "NO no! i like you as a friend right now. its just were both really young." I felt horrible right now. I started to tear up and so did she. But hers was because of the wind blowing through her eyes and hair. She said "Im not crying its the wind" i said "oh yeah mine too." And all i could think of saying was "This isn't going to affect our friendship is it." She solemnly said "No." So then i said 'i guess this is bye then' she didn't even hug me but that was ok. I walked back into the building where my brother was and after 2 minutes about she walked back in. My heart sunk deeper. I couldn't stand to look at her. (We have this catch phrase we used to say to each other "Keepin' it Real" every tiem we would say bye to each other. its just kinda our thing. she doesn't do it with anyone else and neither do i.) Anyways after me and my brother was walking out the door she turned to me and said "Keeping it Real." I turned back to her and muttered the words back. she could tell she broke my heart. I Really dont know what to do now. There are no other girls in my neighborhood that are good looking. Theres one really ugly girl that likes me but i dont wana resort to her but i feel like i have no other choice. She really loves me but i dont. I dont wana date her but i feel like im obligated. i have no other choice theres no other girls that would like me. Anywho. I just really wana know how to stop the hurt. What should i do? Please. Really help. :ninjacat:
First off, looks aren't everything. Sometimes the "ugliest" people can the sweetest people you'll ever meet. Get to know that girl before just jumping to such conclusions. That's how I met my current boyfriend; he was looking for more than just looks. You should do the same rather than "omg model gurrlz plz..." or you'll never be happy. Second...try to get a little more involved and leave internet friends as a last resort sort of thing. While yeah, it's kinda cool to have friends from all over the world in that sense, wouldn't you like to be able to hangout with them without buying a plane ticket or something? Look for clubs around school and try to get more involved there. You might just meet girls there if you get lucky. There's probably more but I have a massive headache right now and don't really feel like typing much more. I might go back and edit this, maybe not.
Don't worry about looks. Worry about personality. Yes, looks are important, but an average-looking girl could be way better for you than a really really pretty one. As for what you can do to stop the hurting... just distract yourself. Go out with friends, play video games, do all you can to stop it. The only way it'll truly go away is time, but... until then, distract yourself.
Can i just say i thought that the internet was the answer too and it has helped but try meeting someone in your local area on the net.I met a girl from the town over and she is pretty,smart,loves anime and PS3 and likes me for what i am on the inside not for my looks. Looks don't actually mean much.
I'm sorry to hear about this. you cannot force people to like you.. although you haven't done that yet. yet. don't ever under any cercumstances try that, because really, it makes things worse. Friendships are better than nothing, and I'm sure she will be a great friend to you. and speaking from a girls point of view, (because I am one, lol), I wouldn't want to go out with a guy if I was afraid of hurting his feelings. Let things settle for a bit, and don't come on too strong for a bit. and NEVER go all sulky around her, because that turns us girls off more. and, don't call her names, even just messing about because she will think, that secretly you will mean it. even if you don't. good luck, messege me if you wanna talk about stuff x
Ok sorry to not have answered. By the way. Im not really that caring about looks. this girl is a real pain. everybody thinks so. and she isn't the nicest person around. so looks isn't THAT big of a deal to me.
first off, how old are ya. I sounds to me that you are very young and also pretty social, or at least more social than me. you sound like you may be in high school or middle school. well the good news here is, you have plenty of time to find someone else before you grow old and wrinkly. And on the plus side, you have friends that are girls. So I'm assuming here that you know how to talk to a girl in person. Let tell you about my worst experience with a girl that I liked. It hurts just to talk about it but perhaps it may make you feel a bit better. but first, lets learn a bit about me. I'm 20 going on 21. my life is at the moment, well.... let's just say I don't have a life at the moment. yeah it's a bummer... I don't really have any friends that are females, well I do, but I don't hangout with them and I don't really know how to talk with them. That's a big problem for me, trying to spark a conversion. Even with guys I have problems. when it comes to the internet I don't have as much of a problem, but that is only because of the fact that have plenty of time to think about what I want to say. ok, so moving on. my story happened last semester. while I still lived at home, all my friends had left me to go to college. I always was working my butt off that semester, so I never got to have any free time for myself. I was lonely. nobody ever posted on my facebook, not even my best friends! So i decided to start posting on many other people's facebook. I think I only got one or two replies, but I didn't get much out of those people. So I started looking through my old facebook posts and I found one that I forgot to reply to. My old high school crush, a.k.a. biggest crush ever! It took a lot of guts, but I finally replied to her message, from there we really hit it off. We just started talking and talking and talking until finally, on one of her posts, she started inviting me to come hangout with her and her friends. The problem was, I was always busy with work or school when she asked me. So then she suggested that I schedule something. So I did for the weekend. it was just me and her, we went to D.C. and it ended up having a blast! We had such a great time together, that I was sad to see her go. So we hungout a few other times and those times were great to. That was when I decided that I was going to try to make a move, A subtle move. I asked her to go bowling with me. I said that I would bring 3 friends, and she could bring some friends as well. All of my friends, except one, ditched me the day of. I told her and she said that it was ok cause she invited a few more. well so the night came, that we planned to go on. we met at a restaurant. She brought like seven of her friends, none of them knew me. And they all seemed to think that the whole thing was Katie's idea, Katie was the girl's name. I was completely ignored while at the restaurant. And then when it was time for us to go bowling, she left me, my friend, and a friend of hers, over at the alley while she went off with her other friends to get alcohol. She did this without telling me. So I had no idea what was going on. Now I don't drink alcohol for personal reasons, and she knew that, but that didn't stop her. so I wait for over an hour for her to get back. we end up having to wait in a long line for a bowling alley. so what does she do then, well she heads off with one of her guy friends with alcohol in hand. now one bottle of this type of alcohol was like having 5 beers. she had one and a half of those bottles. I end up waiting in line alone for over another hour, until finally one of her friends comes by all drunk and all. And guess what she tells me. the girl who I had the biggest crush on ever was getting it on with that guy friend of hers in the back of his truck. I couldn't stay any longer. Her actions that whole night completely smashed my heart to pieces. so i left. when i got home, i broke into tears. That semester, she had become such a good friend of mine, and she just totally acted like a b**** (excuse my language). That was the first time she broke my heart. I go to work the next day, everybody knew something was wrong. they kept pestering me until finally I accidentally let slip to one of her friends what happened. I get back home, it turned out that she wrote on my facebook asking what happened to me and why I never said goodbye. well I tell why and in the process I revealed the feelings that I had for her. She feels horrible because she realized that she ruined the entire night, but she tells me that she didn't... well... do it with that guy. I was stupid, I believed her. Then everything seemed alright, until she got a call from the friend of hers that I talked to. She was pissed! she told me that she didn't even do what I said. she said that she didn't even think that she could forgive me. that was the second time my heart was broken. she didn't talk to me for three weeks. I was about to give her a call to make up with her, but I find out that she changed her phone number, not because of me though. She had been talking about that for quite some time by then. so I had no way to contact her. And I began to loll over everything that happened. that's when I remembered something. That night when everything happened, I asked my friend to go outside to see if he could find where Katie went. He was gone for the longest time before he came back and said he couldn't find her or her friends. I remembered that I questioned her about that but she completely avoided the question. So I started getting suspicious. I talked to a friend of hers that came that dreadful night. He went with Katie when she left me. I asked him if it were true that she did it with that other guy. He said yes. he was outside the truck when it happened. She lied to me and made me feel like I was the one at fault! And that there, was number three! She broke my heart three times in less than one month. I barely made it through that semester. I had to limp on after that. I'm fine now, but it still hurts.... so much...... She left me with one of my biggest emotional scars ever. I just couldn't believe it! she thinks that everything is fine now between me and her, but it's not. I can't forget what she did to me. I did not deserve that. I think she even lowered my trust in girls. I know that not all girls are like that, but I'm afraid that it may happen again. I read what you wrote and I know you may not think it, but you are lucky. your friend treated you as a friend. She may not care for you the way you wish, but she does care for you. she may have broke your heart but not in a way that was uncalled for. you are still young. things change. feelings change. you will find someone I promise, and who knows, maybe when you are much older, she will give you a chance. you said that she is taller than you. I'm going to take a guess that you are either in middle school, or are about in ninth grade. Girls are usually taller than guys around then. guys take longer to grow. This girl I told you of, Katie, She was older than me too, only by a few months, but older just the same. It turned out that she did like me, though she had a funny way of showing it. My point? Maybe one day, in the future, her feelings will change for you. perhaps, she will change her mind some day and give you a chance. just give it some time. don't go charging in there any time soon. give it some years. maybe then, things will be different.
Well, dude first of all I'm sorry to hear that, it's awful when the woman of your dreams break your heart, well my advice is that if she doesn't want to be with you then let it go. Forget about her, you're young and you'll find another girl that actually 'll want you. Don't say that you don't have more choices, 'cause you 'll find more of them and I'm sure that you already have them, now stopping the hurt 'll be a bit hard 'cause you liked her since 5 years ago... so if you still want something with her well give her time 'til you find someone who makes you complete. :)
