I seem to WANT to avoid people. I always thought most people in real life (at school) were a bit too childish which is why I came to the Internet, to avoid all people completely. I barely talk to my parents anymore. I have "friends" but I hate being with them, so I guess I can't call them friends at all. It just seems that this isn't a normal thing to do. I don't go to movies with buds, nor do ever want to. I DON'T EVEN HAVE A CELL PHONE! When people ask me why not, I respond with, "No one to call." I'm 18 and I think that this is a sort of dilemma if anything. I don't mind it at all. It's been this way for my entire life. So tell me KHV, is this a bad thing or not? (is it unhealthy for my life)
I understand because you are like me.You see, i think i can safely asume that you have gone through depression at some point.From this it's caused you to recoil back into your comfort zone more than ever.It's happening to me but i'm causing myself to go outside my zone of security and sure it can hurt sometimes but it's allowed to meet people on a more friendly level.You might think that they're all childish but if you text them or PM them you see a different side to them.I know because i've done it.People aren't books.You can't tell who they are just by looking at the cover.Some people are as they are on the outside but most think alot more then you can imagine.Just look at someone in a chair at your school.If they stare blankly into space they could be thinking about the same thing as you, something deep and interesting.
Kinda my entire life is "reading" people and labeling them with traits. It makes it easier to deal with them when they talk to me. Anyway, I see where you're coming from, but I don't even want friends. I've never been depressed. Nothing major has ever effected my personality. This is how it's been since I was a toddler. I just want to know if it's harming my life.
I wouldent think that it would hurt your life as much, maybe later on...but Im not sure Your just a person who likes to work alone and it makes it better for you, in the long run
It could be depending on whether you show it.I know someone like you but he never shows it and acts like a deceptive *sshole that no one really likes. All i can say is if people see you for what you are, you will be treated as a pariah.
Daxma you're right about this. You can find people are somewhat more deep than you might think. Exploring boundaries isn't easy, but perhaps it is necessary. Because while we might think we know everything there is to living our lifes, the people around us shape us, just as much as we shape them. I have seen how I can learn so much from not underestimating people, and I think Daxma is also starting to see that. Because the world around us isn't as simple as we think, and yet, at the same time it is. Hope, I made some sense. but being alone all the time isn't healthy. Try to understand your friends and the things that happen around you, and maybe it might help you be a more sociable person.
I was (and still am, to an extent) the exact same way. I have had maybe 3 people in my entire life that I could honestly call "true friends" (to use another thread's idea), and I am in touch with only one of them anymore (the cost of moving so often). I have an almost non-existant social life, because I find that most of the people who actually have them are either vapid attention seekers or so concerned about not offending this or that friend that they end up focusing on it to the exclusion of all else. Find someone, just one person, who you can be totally honest with in any aspect of life, and that should be the person you hang out with, call, PM online, whatever. Other than that, I would ignore everybody.
Ha ha, I'm the same way. Just try to enjoy some good video games and go out side sometimes and just do whatever you want. Also hang with friends from time to time but not all the time.
I wouldn't say its a bad thing, as long as you're able to work/interact with people when you have to. It's hard to get past being so anti-social. Though it may not be the bast thing to do, it's not all that bad.
Everyone has problems, but your situation is nothing to be concerned about. A lot of people prefer to be by themselves. It doesn't make you weird or anything, but it does cause you to be too confined to your comfort zone and if you don't venture out of it then you'll be start to get into a rut which then can lead to depression and less fullfilment in your life. Just break down the hum drum of your life some time and try something new. You'll be amazed you did.
I dunno dude.I think you should think it over and see what your mind and heart says.And even if you get thought of leaving Kh-v like you once told me I think.It's cool.Get somethings off your chest,or mind.
Yes. I understand. People are very complex. know it's somewhat...wromg to do, but I still do it out of habit. I just automatically think that way. I just profile a person. That's a bit of the problem. Exactly. This is the way I think. About finding someone, I don't want anybody. I have a girlfriend, but anyone more than her...well like I said...they're childish. I have more adult friends such as teacher rather than kids. I guess I think I'm a bit too mature for kids that age? I'm not a sad guy. I really never get depressed. I just always look negativy on the world. That's all. Absolutely no help whatsoever.
There's nothing wrong with negativity, as long as it doesn't lead to depression. A better thing, though, might be realism, as it will allow you to strip away moral conventions from the world and see it as it is.
You should try to be more optimistic instead of looking at all of the negativity. I'm not talking about being a person from the brady bunch what I'm referring to is do something you enjoy and then challenge yourself to something new and with somoene. Life is to short to just be by yourself and you don't want to look at your life 30 years from now and have the regret of something that you could of changed.
Life is too short to spend obsessing over what might upset this friend or that, or what your umpteenth girlfriend will think if you are hanging out with your first one, or any of the other teen drama crap. Live the way you want, but don't let other's opinions unduly influence your decisions. I would recommend finding one person who you can be honest with and forgetting everyone else. It works for me.
I wouldn't say it's exactly a problem. More likely, it's a stage thing. I have liked to have alone time often. I don't like talking on the phone with people. It bothers me at times and I'd just rather if they were going to do that, if we were actually face to face. However, having said that, I do like to come on the internet and chat with people and talk on forums if it feels meaningful to me. In some ways, at times I can be very social and hang out with others. At other times, I really don't like having people around as I feel that there are just moments where too negative (drama and angst and woe, spewing hatred etc) things or too positive (giggly hyper people, people that are pretending or just overly positive or positively fake) can get on my nerves and I'm mostly a mellow person that likes to explore, study, and move about unhindered. At one point in my life I was very anti-social, but I've gotten over that so that now I've learned to just space myself out. It could be that because you have trouble finding people like you, it makes you feel withdrawn. I think in some ways that was my deal. I was always feeling more mature than others in my age group and felt that what adults called 'mature' wasn't. For example, I'd be called 'childish' for liking cartoons and would throw back at the person that they were so much more mature because they went out and got shitfaced and had to be dragged to their bed, suffering a great hangover the next day. I think that you should try to enjoy your time alone, explore, and well, try to not be too negative. There are other people out there like you and if you meet them, they won't seem so obnoxious or annoying. However, like you, they are probably going to be rather quiet so the internet can be a good way to meet them, or just look around for others who do seem to match more what you are like. I think since you have some friends, even if they are annoying at times, doing things occasionally with them too is a good thing. It's not a very good idea to seal yourself totally from others. But also enjoy the time you have to yourself and make it constructive. You might find some activities you like to do that might not be so bad to do with others which might help open you up a bit more. Also, try to not profile people if you can help it. Each person is 3d and yet sometimes some people -really- put forth an effort to look stereotypical and 2d, and to me, these people are what I'd coin as immature or fake. There are others out there though who aren't like that. Maybe you seek what's more real to you and in school environments where people are so worried about popularity etc, that can be rough to find. Those people exist in any 'classification' out there so you might want to keep that in mind. You seem the sort who would do well to seek out those sorts of people and even if it is one to three great friends, these are to me better than a ton of acquaintances. I do hope things go well for you and if you do some alone time because you seem cognitive and more inner-tuned than outwardly, but at other times try to do some activities with others so you don't become totally introverted, and keep your eyes looking for those people that are seeking more 'real' things, you might be happier. Good luck and I hope this helped you at all.
There is a sort of disorder like that.... well it's not really a disorder it's something else. I forget what they call it. You just have to try and get out there a little more. Maybe just get a job. getting a job really helps you with your social skills. I know that first hand!
