I teached a whale....

To jump out of its tail....

Mrs. Lambert:All right, good morning class. Welcome to the new year before we start today does anybody have anything they would like to share about what they did over summer vacation? Yes, Steven.

Steven:My brother let me try Marijuana!
Mrs.Lambert:That's great, Steven.
Steven:Seriously, guys! It was so awesome! I'm gonna do it every day for the rest of my life!
Mrs.Lambert:Okay, Steven, go to the Principle's office.
Steven: What? Wh-?
Mrs.Lambert:Go to the principle's office.

Did anybody have anything LEGAL they would like to share with us?

Yes, Billy.

Billy: This Summer, I teached a whale to jump out of it's tail.
Mrs.Lambert:What?
Billy:This summer! I teached a whale to jump OUT of it's tail.
Mrs.Lambert:What are you talking about Billy?
Billy:This summer...! I teached a whale to jump OUT of it's tail.
Mrs.Lambert:Stop being silly, you're not making any sense.
Billy:I'm not being silly! I'm answering your question. This summer I teached a whale to jump out of the water and then jump again so hard that it's tail came off.
Mrs.Lambert:Billy, that's impossible. Stop lying or I will send you to the Principle's office.
Billy: I'm not lying! Stop calling me a liar! This summer I teached a whale to jump out of it's tail.
Mrs.Lambert:Billy, stop lying!
Billy:I'm not lying! And you calling me a liar is damaging my self-esteem!

Mrs.Lambert:Fine, class! Pack your shit, we're going to Florida!
Kid:What about permission slips?
Mrs.Lambert:Fuck permission slips!

Mrs.Lambert*driving car*:Now, Billy! I am going to prove you a liar!
Billy:Whatever, Mrs.Lame-bird!
Mrs.Lambert:That's it! No more seat-belt for Billy!
Billy:No, I want my seat belt!
Mrs.Lambert:No, because if we get into an accident maybe it will teach you to respect your elders!
Sea Land! 10 mi.!
Timmy:Hello, there, Welcome to Sea Land! I'm Timmy Williams!
Mrs.Lambert:Hello, I'm Mrs.Lambert, teacher of 3rd grade elementary. Do you have any whale's?
Timmy:No, I'm sorry, I'm afraid we are temporarily out of whales, you see the last hurricane here, Jennifer picked up ALL the whales and dropped them outside by the old barbed-wire factory.

Poor sham-sham made it to the basketball courts but his body slowly baked to death on the hot asphalt, while, the local school kids used his body as a bike ramp...
Mrs.Lambert:I have a student here who claims he can make a whale jump out of it's tail.
Timmy:*laughing* you would have to be the greatest trainer ever to do that!
Billy:It is as you say.
Timmy:Oh my G-
Mrs.Lambert:No! No! He's lying! Billy, Shut up! Everyone back in the car! We're going to Mexico!
Timmy:I want inz!

*back in car*

Billy:Hey, Mrs.Lambert, how'd you get all those cool blue lines in your legs?
Mrs.Lambert:Mexico! Four Miles!

*Mexico*

MexicanDude:Welcome to Sea Land!
Mrs.Lambert:Hello, I'm Mrs.Lambert teacher of 3rd grade elementary in Acrin Ohio!
I have a student here who claims he can make a Whale Jump OUT of it's tail!
MexicanDude:Behold! The savior!
Billy:Yes, that is me.
Mrs.Lambert:No! He's lying! Billy, shut up or I will beat you lifeless!
Now, do you have any whales?
MexicanDude: No, I'm sorry, the sign says Wha-hale!
Mrs.Lambert:What the fuck is a Wha-hale?!
Mexican:Kinda like a Chilupa except it has whale in it.
Mrs.Lambert:Okay! That's it! I'm going to find a whale myself! Everyone to the ocean!
Mexican:I'm coming with!
*at sea*


Sailor:The ocean? She's crazy. Once a dolphin jumped 20 feet in the air and on the way down clubbed a girl in the head with lead pipe.
Mrs.Lambert:Whale! Okay, everybody! Pay attention as we watch Billy teach this whale to jump OUT of it's tail!
Billy:*snaps finger's and starts making weird signs and suddenly the yells of a whale*
Everyone:Holy Shit!

​

 

i saw that skit on tv. it was epic!

 

lol. srsly. Whitest Kids U Know is da bomb. xD​

 

Inorite ?

 

yeah, i watch it a lot on tv.

 

I agree ^^