I suddenly feel like talking in English, and having English subtitles

Hello, nice to make your acquaintance dear chap. ('Sup?)

 

Thus, I hereby bequeath something hard and shiny to the monstrosity whom begun this ghastly behaviour.

 

Where are the subtitles? D:
I can't understand anything without them!

 

Eichol jachhe. Apni kemon achhen?

[I am doing fine. How are you?]
lololol Old English

 

I apologise greatly, what I was meant to be implying was something similar to the likes of the following:
[Soz, what I really meant was:]

Thus, I hereby bequeath something hard and shiny to the monstrosity whom begun this ghastly behaviour.
[I'll throw something hard at the person who started this]

 

I may or may not have encouraged it, maybe.
[I'm partially at fault]

But that was only the first one, it becoming a fad wasn't me
[This thing is a damn virus]