I may or may not need help here

I feel like **** at the moment so I'm not typing up a full eighteen pages or anything like that on how bad my live is but here we go

Between Fearless breaking up with me and my dad dying (two totally unrelated things that happened within a month of each other), I have no idea what my own state of mind is. I really don't feel anything at this point but my life is spiraling as if I did. I really, really don't want to admit it out of pride but I think that I may never get over her at this point, and that coupled with my dad passing away just seems a bit too much. I almost got back into drugs this weekend; the only reason I quit was because Fearless wanted me to. She said she didn't want anything happening to me.

Ha.

I got off my train of thought for a bit there and I forgot where I was going with this but I think you get it

Talk to me, khv

 

Your life is heading exactly where it was before all that crap happened. Losing a GF is tough, but not life-changing. A father dying is worse, but you were probably going to be spending less time with him as you got older, so while sad, it hasn't changed an awful lot in the long run.

The important thing at the moment is simply getting your life back on track. Figure out where you were heading beforehand and take it from there.

 

I understand where you're coming from with the sentiment of "losing a gf isn't life-changing", and I shared that perspective once. I was completely fine with being single before she came along.

As for the part you said on part of my dad, it's a horrible thought for me that even if he had been given more life it would've been squandered so. While I don't want to say too much, I will say that I actively chose not to be in the house with him that night. Of course I didn't know that he would die then, but that decision makes so much more of a difference now. And to think that I could just pass by that to continue on with my own life is just... I don't know.

 

So you missed one night with him. You spent 15 years with him, which more than makes up for it. Little could be said that night that couldn't be said any other time, because you didn't know he would die then. You may have missed his death, but you didn't miss his life, which is the important period. Also, consider your perspective now. You say that you don't like to think that more time would have been squandered. He doesn't have more time, but you do, and it would be even worse to squander the time you've got left with others.

 

P is right. You can't blame yourself for making a choice you would've made in any other situation. A death in the family is hardly something you need to plan for in everyday life; it's not an everyday thing.

As for moving on... Take your time. Sort your feelings out. I know it feels like the world is moving along without you sometimes, and everyone will tell you not to waste the time you have left. I kind of agree, but... I mean, you're human. You feel bad about what happened. You don't deserve to get a one-two punch like that and be expected to keep on trucking. No one will fault you for taking some time to think about what you should do next. Just remember not to get stuck grieving; don't let it drag you down forever. Neither of them would want to be responsible for screwing you up.

If you wanna talk about this one-on-one, feel free to hit me up on MSN or in PMs. I dunno how much I can help, but the offer's there.

 

I'm lucky in that I've never experienced death close to me, and I can't really comprehend how horrible it must be. It's sad to see someone as lovely as you so upset. :\

Going through a breakup after a long relationship is ******, hell I've spent many days and nights crying over boyfriends and sometimes it feels like you're never gonna stop crying. But each day the ache does get less, and it sounds cheesy as **** but time does heal all. Thinking about being depressed will slow everything down, right now you need distractions in life. For your dad.. there is a time for grieving, and then a time for moving on. It's different for everybody, so I guess nobody here can really judge how you feel. But I'm here if you need to talk. <3

 

in my opinion
you lost ur gf
so what?
they come and go like the wind blow
you lost you dad
that's heavy
that should be your only problem
i mean sure, you liked her a lot, but if she doesnt want you then you shouldnt want her either
you dad's loss will hunt you forever though
that part is tough and you'll have to try and deal with it as best as possible
just try not to think about it and try to have fun
being down and not doing anything and feeling bad and not hanging out with people and staying home is something that when you are older and you think back to it you'll say: "dam I lost friends and time for stressing over some girl"
and thats bad
just try to ignore her break up and deal with you dad's lost as best as you can
hope it works out
I mean I can never imagine losing my dad or something
thats real hard

 

She wasn't just a girlfriend, dude. She was the best thing to happen to me, and the break in the long line of ****** relationships that constitutes my attempt at a love life.

 

just another girl as far as me and anyone can see
your being over dramatic
you'll get over it and see what i mean
this happens a lot after break ups

 

Well, you're sixteen. You've got to get used to this. Throughout your life there's probably going to be several "best things that ever happened to you", it's just life. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

 

Dalk this is really sad. I can't say I can empathize with what you're feeling at the moment, because I've never gone through that. But I can still sympathize. It's never easy losing someone, and for a while it may feel like you've come to a stand still that, in itself, is also okay. No one can expect you to go on without first letting everything sink in. Now's the time to slow down, and think on these events. Afterwards, the only thing you can do is accept them, and move on. But, as Cariad said, time helps circumstances heal us. It's up to you to decide how much time you need. In the end we can only continue living...

While I think two members offering support is enough, I offer myself if you want to talk. Just send me a PM or catch me on MSN.

 

Exactly. As far as you can see. But what can you see of this relationship that you were nowhere near? What gives you the right to tell me how special she was to me?

 

im just telling you how it works
i dont care how special she was to you
im not here to pity you
im trying to help you get over it before it evolves into a big problem and you do things that you might regret
i seen some people do crazy stuff over a break up and though i dont know you i wouldnt want it to happen to you
try to understand my purpose before you judge my actions
and take my advice it'll be better that way
and who knows you might hook back up

 

I'm not saying that. I'm saying that she wasn't "just another girlfreind". She was the only girlfreind worth two shits that I ever had. And I held what we had as special. Now, you come in here and tell me that she was just a girl? She was that, but she cared for me. Something no one else I've opened up to like that has ever given enough of a damn to do.

 

then you still have strong feelings for her
you know you have been through a lot
try to calm down and get back on track
hope you can get her back and stuff
im trying to tell you not to stress too much
and dont just hope for the best, make it happen