I hate making threads like this...

Scarred Nobody · Oct 11, 2012

D ι n n y said: ↑

Oh tummer, I don't exactly know how to respond to this either but I hope I can help in a way.

I know how you're feeling. Depression feels like you can't escape it and it just has you in its grasp and it sucks. I've been feeling the same things for a while back. I started to loose hope in things and I liked not doing a lot (which is very unlike me) and sleeping my days off by taking pills and not eating and things like that. I didn't even want to get up the next morning to do... life.

I wouldn't say depression is a phase. Because it's real and what you're feeling is real and it happens. I honestly think you're getting better already - you're accepting these things and I know you can do this, tummer. I know we haven't talked a lot lately but you're such a lovely guy. You do have so much to live for - I promise. You may not see it at the moment but you do. Something that does help is talking about it. When I talk about my problems, even just blogging about it, I feel like someone out there is listening and someone cares. It doesn't matter if it's true or not but it helps. It gives me something to live for - like, when I talk about it I feel like if something new comes up I need to talk about it again. And lucky for you tummer, there are people around who are here for you. I know I am willing to be, if you want.

You can talk to me any time. Just message me or whatever and we can chat. I'll listen to you and help you out. Or just listen if that's what you want. Sometimes that's what I want - someone to just listen and try not to fix me.

This depression thing is a demon that takes forever to drive away. Sometimes it never does completely, but I think going through it alone is going to make it tough. Talk about it and express yourself. Don't keep it inside - the demon lives on that.
Click to expand...

Yeah, that basically sums up how I feel these past several weeks. This kind of pain I'm in, I don't think it's ever going to go away. The damage I've taken from this, I'm going to carry it around. And even if my friend returns to me, a part of me is always going to on edge around them. And the thoughts of killing myself have shifted to wishing that I slipped into a coma or my heart just failing while I'm asleep. Numbing the pain will only do so much; I want it to go away, but that doesn't seem likely. Whenever I think back to my friend, I either want to break down and hug them or break down and yell "FUCK" at the top of my lungs. I just don't feel like me anymore.

Log in or Sign up

I hate making threads like this...

Scarred Nobody Where is the justice?

Premium