I don't like asking for help but here it goes...

It's just about 2 months since my grandmother died. I was really close to her and we had a special bond. After she went into a nursing home, I didn't get to visit her as much since sometimes the "no one under 18" rule was in progress and I'm only 15. After a week or two I was able to visit her more since she went to a different nursing home. After I found out what happened, I was upset by after a few days life felt the same again. Now I'm feeling my heart was sliced in half and ripped out of me, piece by piece. My brother was upset too and his way of letting it show is being angry. So all he did for the first 2 days was yell at me for no reason. I hid in my closet for hours, before school if I had time and after school. I hid a little bag of 2 water bottles and a few snacks in there. I also had my portable DVD player, MP3 player, and my cell phone. I felt like I was totally alone in the world. He made me feel like it was my fault that our grandmother was dead and it made me feel awful.

Sorry if I'm being a little dramatic but I had to get it off my chest.

 

Ok, first of all.. I'm sorry to hear that your grandmother passed away two months ago. From what you had written, I guess both you and your brother are trying to cope in your own ways, in this case, its conflicting with one another. I take it you both were close to your nan, considering the grieving... I can only imagine that your brother is feeling distraught about your fairly recent family situation, and the only way to relinquish these emotions is to vent it out on someone he is close to (mainly towards family members)

Maybe he wants someone to talk to.. However he feels at the same time that he can't. I think that its best that the both of you sit down with your family and have a talk about the good ol' days... Surround yourselves in happy memories..

I do hope you and your family get through this ok, and once again, I am sorry for your loss.

 

I am honestly sorry for your lost. You must be going through a hard time and I can only imagine what you are going through. I don't know what I would do if one of my grandparents, friends, or loved ones died. I'm hoping that you and your brother will get through this together. If you two were close (before he started yelling), then I urge the both of you to come together during this harsh grieving process.

I believe a good way to come out of this is to remeber the good times you had with your grandmother. If you focus too much on this, the memory of her may tarnish. It's important to remeber the laughs and joys of her life. Remebering her should be like a tiny celebration. Yes, It is okay for you to cry; it's only natural. Just smile when you think about her. I promise you will be in my prayers.

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been pefected in love." 1 John 4:18

 

OK I'm so sorry about you and your grandma. I know how it is to loose one you love. I lost my gf, but try talking to him consider going somewhere for coffee or food. You guys will be bacl to normal in no time. :)

 

I have said far more dramatic things...My grandmother died on Christmas day actually, so I can kind of relate...I obviously didn't know her as well as you knew yours, but truth be told my grandmother had Alzheimer's so she wouldn't have recognized me anyways...

As a guy, I can tell you that we're too damn proud to cry so we just hit and yell and bang on the walls because it's easier to act like a brat then swallow our pride...trust me, he doesn't think it's your fault and if he says it is then he's just upset...

Don't blame yourself, we all loose the ones we love...but the memories they leave behind are what keep them alive in our hearts...

 

I'm so sorry for your loss, I can't even imagine what you're going through, I've never really lost anyone that close as of yet. But it's okay to cry, just remember you're not alone in this and I know all you need now is someone to tell you there are so many others out there who love and care for you and they will be there for you.

Your brother, as Xamad said is only letting out his emotions and I know it can be very scary but guys just don't like to show their soft side. If they have a problem they either get angry or joke about it, thats just how they deal with things. When it scares you all you have to do is remind yourself he is not out to get you and whatever he says- don't take it personally. (he's just bouncing his emotions off you, he's not angry or blaming you).

I am praying for you